A/N: Hello, POI Fandom! I recently got into the show not too long ago and it's all thanks to this lovely ship, Careese! I saw a fanvid of them on Youtube and instantly fell in love with them and soon afterwards the show. As you can tell, it didn't take me long to board the Careese ship at all. I love the subtleties of their relationship, the flirty banters, the LOOKS, everything about these two. Waiting for season 3 to come out is agonizing as it is and I finally picked up the writing motivation again to restart writing fanfics!

This idea came up after re-watching the Riker's arc so many times. I was very unsatisfied with the Careese hiatus after Dead Reckoning so my imagination gave birth to this, LOL. I aimed mainly for fluff but it ended up a lot more angsty towards the "climax" so I decided to throw in my best Reese/Carter humor. I tried to keep it as close as to the canon characters as possible, but obviously it's almost never 100% accurate in the fanfic world, especially coming from me lol.

Hope you enjoy!

POI and its characters do not belong to me. If only.

For the past month, the amount of paperwork piling on her desk hasn't lessened one bit. Especially not after a bombing incident following the events at Rikers regarding a certain vigilante; who she hasn't heard from since she watched him walk to his death with a bomb vest strapped to him.

She recalled the overwhelming emotions that swelled inside her, witnessing the man she grew to admire sacrifice himself that night. Her eyes brimming with unshed tears connecting with his baby blues as she tried to engrave every detail of him into her mind and heart.

"You know I do," he told her with his lips lightly tilted into a ghost of a smile, "because you'd do the exact same thing…"

"Thank you… both of you"

"Carter!"

Snapping out of her emotionally churning thoughts, she looked up to find Symanski holding another small handful of files.

She sighed, collecting herself by blinking back a few unshed tears that had subconsciously formed. The files were placed on her desk after a few beats of silence and she nodded a quick thank you to him.

"You alright, Carter? Somethin' you wanna talk about?" He asked noticing her troubling features. "My desk is just as swamped, if not more."

Joss forced out a reassuring smile for him. "No, I'm alright. Don't worry." She hated lying to a good cop and fellow friend like Symanski, but she felt no need to involve him in her personal problems. Especially when said problems revolved around that man.

Symanski hesitated for a second, gazing at her with tinges of concern and confusion then nodded before heading off. After a few minutes, he would return with a cup of coffee from the precinct's machine. He placed it down right next to her desk.

"Don't overwork yourself, Carter." He advised her with a lopsided smile. She returned it with a small one.

"Thank you." She took a sip of the heated beverage as she watched him leave before gazing back at the mountain load of work left to be done.

Though she would much prefer this than being called out to a dead body.

His dead body to be more specific.

Frustrated with her inner turmoil, she hastily brought up a new word document and opened one of the manila folders. Even then, she still found it difficult to focus properly. She propped an elbow on the desk and leaned her head on her knuckles.

Really... Out of all the guys in the world...

12:30am

After an entire day of being cooped up in the precinct and suffocated by paperwork (with an included vigilante pestering her thoughts), some well-deserved fresh air was called for. Joss stood in the middle of an overhang suspended over New York's streets and connected between two buildings. Its constructional features offered a decent gap between the evening traffic below and a satisfying view of the world below and beyond. City night life noises were dimmed to a comforting hum with the occasional low rumble of a motorcycle passing.

This was her place to think and sort out her internal conflicts. One of her best friends had introduced it to her before moving out of state for a job, and she sure as hell was thankful for that.

She'd called Taylor a few hours earlier, letting him know that it was gonna be another late night. He told her that she didn't need to worry and informed her that he was staying at a friend's house to work on a project. Echoing Symanski's words, Taylor told her not to overwork herself and again voiced his discomfort of her being out on the field. Despite the absence of a father, she knew her baby was becoming a man. After a few reassurances from her telling him that she had everything control, they disconnected the call with a quick "I love you" exchange.

She leaned against the concrete railings and gazed out into the city. Her thoughts immediately tracing back to the last time she saw John; an entire month ago.

Ever since that night, calls and meet-ups became non-existent. Deep down, she knew he wasn't dead because the bomb on the rooftop didn't go off but the one on ground-level did. She knew he was avoiding her and she unfortunately understood why. She knew too well that their meeting on the bridge was far beyond reckless; unprofessional for two individuals highly skilled in their line of work. She willingly risked her job and tinkered with the DNA samples and fingerprints to ensure his freedom, only for it to fall apart once Donnelly found them together.

In a crude way, the timely intervention of John's ex-CIA partner gave them the "second chance" they needed but in the end it was Donnelly's life who paid the price for their mistake.

She should be happy for John's absence in her life. She should be happy that he wasn't getting her involved in any more of his vigilante-esque shenanigans. She should be happy that she could finally be able to peacefully do her job without bending anymore rules.

Even so, she found it difficult to erase him completely from her mind because she owed him her life in more than one way.

While BC turned his back on her at gunpoint in the alley that night, he was the one who had it all along.

"Whether you like me or not, Joss... you're not alone."

While Snow and Evans were putting bullets in him no thanks to her assistance, he gave her a simple reminder.

"Your coffee's getting cold, Detective."

While Elias' men busied themselves holding Taylor hostage, he kept his promise.

"Told you I wouldn't let anything happen to your son."

While he was ready to sacrifice himself with the little time they had remaining, he made sure Taylor still had a mother to go home to.

"You need to get off this floor... You've got too much to lose."

Her eyebrows furrowed and her jaw clenched tightly. She refused to accept that complicated feeling, and she knew that the more she denied it the deeper she fell. She couldn't go through with it again, especially not after losing her husband but damn human nature for making her fall for that selfless bastard; and this guy was the type who could easily sweep any women off their feet, and those types annoyed the shit out of her.

John Reese was that (un)fortunate exception.

Sure, he had cheek bones that could cut granite. A smile that could make hearts flutter and a smirk that would tease the insides of women and men alike. A dark suit that hugged against his broad chest and shoulders, defining his blue eyes. The guy was the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. Over the course of time, she began to see that there was more to him than just his vigilante charm.

Though most of his methods to getting certain jobs done certainly clashed with what she stood for, she knew he had a strong sense of his own justice and had the right intentions. He was selfless, helping complete strangers on a daily basis . More than a few times would she see him marred with a couple of bruises from recent fights and despite her consistently reprimanding him to watch his ass, she knew the idiot never listened. He always responded to her little lectures with that sly smirk of his, which only prompted her frustration even more. The more cases they worked together along with Finch and Fusco, the more she became accustomed to his law-breaking idiocies. She knew he was overall a good man, but she also knew that someone with a gruesome history like his would never come to believe that. Donnelly accusing him of being a monster probably deepened his belief in that fact. She knew that despite his strong appearance, he was a damaged person who beat himself up over things that were humanely out of his reach, a person who lingered heavily on the "ifs" and "what ifs." The type of man who pushed those that got too close to his heart and believed they would get hurt if they were within his proximity. Much to her dismay, their relationship wasn't the type where she could just give him a hug and tell him everything was going to be alright because she knew the weight of such words and actions were emotionally heavy with the work that they do.

Simply thinking of the demons he was struggling against pulled at her heartstrings.

The past month he'd been absent, yes she missed him and the way they were able to tease each other. The way they worked cases together, the subtle yet synchronized balance between their lawless and lawful methods of execution.

Yes, she wants to be there for him, to be the shoulder he can lean on and share the weight of the burdens both of them carried.

Yes, she's in love with The Man in a Suit.

Yes, she's in love with John Reese.

So caught up with her acceptance of the fact, she failed to notice the footsteps approaching behind her. They moved in a quiet rhythm until they shuffled to a stop behind her. A large, dark jacket ever so gently draped over her shoulders, and she finally snapped from her thoughts.

Something warm enveloped her body, and it was then that she realized how cold it really was wearing a thin-layered jacket in this weather. The September chill was starting to set in and she'd been far too caught up with her inner turmoil to think about bringing her overcoat. Though the weather was the last thing on her mind in this moment.

She knew who the jacket belonged to without sparing a glance. She stood rigid in her spot, her gaze still firmly planted on the dark horizon. Footsteps moved next to her from behind, the blurred image of his tall frame at the corner of her eye taking note of the close proximity. She swallowed, but remained glued to silence.

Shoving his hands into his pockets, John released a silent and visible breath into the night. He too said nothing, but stole a glance at her still posture from the corner of his eye.

After a few beats of silence, he spoke while keeping his gaze fixed ahead of him like she did.

"Eager to catch a cold, Detective?" His teasing words were accompanied by his lips twitching upwards, hoping to bring light into their atmosphere.

His low, husky voice. Only when he spoke did she realize how terribly she missed it. Her stubborn nature still refused to submit and physically voice or show how she felt.

She responded with a light chuckle, shifting her hands from the cold railings to the warmth of his jacket. She tugged on it and brought it closer, inhaling his unique and masculine scent.

"I could ask you the same thing."

She should be mad at him, but she couldn't bring herself to do so at this point.

"These aren't as thin as they look, Carter. This is Finch-class wool right here," he responded in a sing-song voice, finally turning to her with raised eyebrows and a smirk still plastered to his face. He lightly tugged on one of his white dress shirt collars with one hand to further emphasize his point.

A wide grin covered her features as she allowed his familiar sense of humor to sink in. Almost as if their month long hiatus never existed.

When she finally turned to him, the cracked dam walling her emotions up broke and overwhelmed her. She gazed up into his baby blues and reminisced their flirty banters, partner-in-crime moments, private meet-ups, and even the moments where their relationship wavered and how they both overcame. The smile she was so accustomed to seeing stirred the butterflies within her stomach. He was the same John Reese she knew... and loved.

It was too overwhelming for her and her grin faltered a bit. She turned her gaze back to the city in front of her just as her eyes were beginning to brim with unshed tears.

"Joss?" he called out, his voice laced with genuine concern as his smile followed suit with hers.

Joss. The last time he'd called her that was when she was flat on her back, staring up at the shadow of his handsome features.

She clenched her jaws in hopes that her lips would stop pathetically quivering.

"Joss," he called out more firmly, gently placing a hand on her shoulder. He lightly prodded her shoulder trying to turn her towards him, careful not to aggravate her but she wouldn't budge.

"No, no it's nothing, really... It's uh..." Her voice wavered as she tried to come up with an excuse while trying in vain to keep her emotions in check.

She could feel the intensity of his concerned gaze on her, but she remained glued to the dark horizon in front of her. Of course, he wasn't stupid enough to believe that nothing was bugging her.

He gently squeezed her shoulder, silently urging her to voice whatever conflicts were bugging her.

Joss tore her gaze from the city and tucked her chin into chest, staring down at her feet while releasing a dry, humorless chuckle.

"Just last month, you got a bomb vest strapped to you... Brought back a lot of memories from Iraq..."

His Adam's Apple bobbed once as she recalled the bomb incident. He allowed his hand to slip down from her shoulder to her arm and back to his side. His eyes softened as he gazed at her, unable to tear themselves away from her. Did he even deserve to see her after leaving her alone for so long without a word?

"I thought another good man was going to walk off to his death again," he winced slightly at her words which didn't go unnoticed by her and she knew why but continued on, "and now here you are... Fine and dandy... After like what... a month?"

He parted his lips to speak but found himself unable to say anything out of fear. John Reese feared no man but couldn't found himself freezing up in an attempt to apologize to the person he never intended cut contact off with for so long. He wanted to tell her that he never left her, that he was watching and protecting her from the dark where he belonged, but the words never came.

He exhaled through his nose and shifted his solemn gaze to the city streets below.

"It was too dangerous for us at the time. I almost cost you your job, your life when Donnelly found us that night, Carter. I can't ever let that happen to you again and I wasn't going to take another risk. You did too much for me."

She let out a shaky breath.

"That's one of the things I can't stand about you sometimes..." The emotions swelling within her were overflowing to the point where she had no control over anymore.

John quickly averted his gaze back to her, his heart tearing into pieces as he noticed a tear escaping one of her eyes.

"You care so much about what happens to other people that you can't come to care about what happens to yourself or the people that do care about you, John..."

He said nothing, remained wordless as he watched another tear flow. Having people care for him was unfamiliar territory for him. Being in the military, the CIA, both solidified himself and taught him to care for himself, that no one would mourn his death prompting him to define the reckless behavior she was so used to seeing from him today. He'd lost the one person who once loved him, Jessica. He could never survive that feeling again, which was why he walled himself up from other people.

But Joss... Joss somehow found the loose crack in his walls and slipped through. Through their flirty exchanges, arguments over conflicting methods of execution, and her strong sense of duty through his observations of her from a distance got through to him. She was the tough woman whom all men desired, but a picky and stubborn type when it came to dating; a trait John found amusing from her. Over time, she soon became the person he never wanted to see hurt like this.

Before the tears could fall from her chin, he wiped them away with the back of his fingers, his feather-light touch closing her eyes in response.

He remained silent and cupped the back of her head, turning and tucking her into his solid chest before wrapping his strong arms around her small frame. His chin rested on the top of her head, keeping her within the comfort warmth beneath the crook of his neck. A wave of her distinguishable Jasmine fragrance mixed with subtle hints of his own scent from the jacket he draped over her drifted through his nostrils, his eyes closing lovingly as he engraved the warm feeling into his mind and heart after forcing himself to stay from her for so long.

She stiffened at his sudden movement, but quickly submitted to his comforting body heat radiating through his crisp white shirt. She felt his arms wrapping around her and the rest of her emotions fell through. A small sob cracked through, streams of tears flowed quicker than before as she clung the material of his shirt, breathing in his unique scent and subtle hints of his lingering cologne.

Seconds in each others embrace felt like minutes, hours, both simply relishing the closeness of one another after being away for so long. In hopes of easing her emotions, John lovingly ran his fingers through her hair. His lips tilted into a small and genuine smile as her sobs subsided to small sniffles and he rested his cheek on the top of her head, peacefully gazing out into the city below them.

Her fingers slowly loosened their grip on his shirt as she felt his fingers through her hair, and she simply allowed her arms to stay wrapped around his waist. She opened her red-rimmed eyes and gazed out into the city while leaning her head against his chest. Listening to her steady and comforting heart beat finally allowed her body to catch up with her after her day at work and she soon found herself drifting in and out of drowsiness. She blinked multiple times to keep her from falling asleep in John's arms, but after a day like this and the warmth of her embrace, she eventually succumbed and closed her eyes to the sound of his soothing heart rhythm.

Sensing her arms loosening a bit around his waist, John looked down to a sleeping beauty. His eyes softened at her drowsy state. Acknowledging her exhaustion, he cradled her into his muscular arms and carried her to her car below. He heard her groan in retaliation to his choice of action, but did not put up a fight. He smiled at her willing submission before settling her into the passenger seat.

The drive back to her apartment was silent as he expected with Joss quickly falling asleep with her head slightly tilted towards the window. At a red light, he stole a glance at her, his eyes caressing her small and delicate features. She looked so fragile in her sleeping state that he couldn't help but reach out and softly tuck a stray piece of hair behind her air. The sound of a car horn from behind snapped him out of his trance and his reflexes instantly went to the gun at his waistband while his other hand remained firmly on the wheel. He looked into the rear view mirror to find a grouchy middle-aged man flipping him off and gesturing him to floor it.

Luckily, Joss was still able to sleep that embarrassment off. He stepped on the gas pedal and drove the remaining five minutes to her apartment, inwardly cursing to himself and that man.

When they arrived, he proceeded as he did when he placed her in the passenger's seat. Gently, he scooped her into his arms and carried her to the front door. She shifted a bit, nuzzling into his chest but remained within her dozed off state. He smiled down at her in response before shifting her weight onto his forearms and pulling out his lock picks from his pockets. He began to work his CIA magic on Joss' front door until he felt her shift in his arms.

She barely cracked on eye open at the mysterious noise only to find her vigilante picking the lock to her apartment. Why he didn't bother using the key attached to her car keys remained a mystery to her but in her tired state, she let it slide and sighed before drifting off again.

"Unbelievable..." she grumbled at the sight of his illegal course of actions. His smile shaped into a grin at her reaction as he slipped into her house after getting the lock undone.

He made his way into her room and lightly placed her onto her bed. He removed her socks and shoes and as tempting as it was, respected her out of his gentleman nature and resisted the urge to remove anything else. He pulled his jacket over her shoulders before draping the blanket layer over her. With his hand remaining on her shoulder, he bent down on one knee next to her and placed a gentle kiss on her hairline. A ghost of a smile curved her lips as a response though her eyes remained closed sent his heart fluttering.

He stood up and was about ready to leave before he noticed the burner phone under the lamp next to her bed.

The back of his fingers gently stroked her cheek as a flood of emotions poured within him.

"I'll be in touch, Joss..." he began in a low, husky whisper, echoing the familiar words he told her when they first met formally at Lyric's. However, after a whole month of not saying a word to her, his words felt empty and he realized how vague they really felt. He needed her to know that whatever happens, she was never alone. He would never leave her side bare.

"I promise."

This time, he felt no fear as his words sealed the one thing that was slowly healing the most important part of himself.

He purposefully exited her apartment after stealing one last glance at her sleeping form.

A/N: Aaaaaand there you have it! My first fanfic in at least... 2 years, I think. Please leave a review and tell me how I did, but have mercy on me I haven't written in such a long time, lol. I really did enjoy writing this though and I sure hope you guys and gals enjoyed reading it. I was trying emphasize the Joss/John fact that these two characters really don't need to say much to express any words. The way they look at each other in the show speaks more than what they actually say so I was hoping to aim for that in this.

Please leave a review and tell me how you felt about it or how I did for my first time in forever! I am open to constructive criticism. :)