This was a time of second chances. Coming back to New York, trying to sing again and not just be the wizard behind the music. For too many years I had sat in the back and let life happen. It was time that I let things go and make a change I needed to stop being the victim. He had taken away too much already and I had let him. A fresh start in the city sounded like a good idea, exactly what was needed to finally feel healed. Being in the city with Sherlock just made it seem like the right move. We had both seen each other at our worst and did not judge. That was what we were to each other. The moment I met him at Oxford I knew he was a kindred soul. I didn't mind his lack of tact, I found it refreshing. He had told me that rehab had been a waste. I knew he was lying, rehab had been good for him quite simply because he stopped using. We were two addicts who had to have a lightbulb in our head go off to make us stop hurting ourselves. For me it was Irene's death that made me wake up. For Sherlock, it was the moment he went through the rehab doors and lost control.
His dad had set him up with a sober companion. Sherlock at first thought it was a silly idea, but as the weeks past he admitted that she was good for him and kept him straight. I could tell he didn't want to disappoint her so he kept sober. He said that she reminded him of me and that we were both brilliant and patient.
Work was good for him too. And I was glad. He didn't talk much about it, just that it was good. It was a topic he knew that was a minefield for our relationship. So all he would say is that it was keeping him entertained.
I called him when I first landed in New York to tell him I was here. I had not wanted to call him much earlier because I might have changed my mind or he would have made me feel guilty for calling sooner. He was a little shocked when I told him where I was and said that he insisted we have dinner. He wanted me to meet Joan. Their relationship had changed lately and he was interested to hear my take on her. From his overall annoyance with her I knew I would like her and I knew that she was good for him.
We met at my favorite New York restaurant, a 24 hour Ukrainian restaurant. They were both sitting in a corner table with their coffee and water. The life of being a recovering addict means drinks at restaurants are extremely boing.
"Any room for an old friend," I whisper in Sherlock's ear with a smile.
"Always space and if you want to surprise someone you really should change your perfume." He kissed my cheek. My perfume, such a dead give away. I try to change it but I can't find anything I like better.
"Hi I am Annie," I reach my hand out to the woman sitting across from him, " you must be Joan?"
"I am, nice to meet you." It is always interesting to meet someone that you only have just heard about. You always have these images in your head of what they will look like and then you meet them and they never quite fit what you thought. Joan however was exactly what I thought. Sherlock is always a little too descriptive.
"So how was the flight?" Sherlock asked.
"Not as pleasant when you can't take a Valium." Sherlock knew that I hated flying which is why when I went somewhere I usually stayed for weeks and why flying across the pond was a huge step.
"Are you in recovery also? Is that how you two know each other?" Joan asks. Obviously Sherlock had disclosed nothing about the two of us.
"Not technically..." What do you say to a stranger about your addiction?
"She is in self imposed recovery." Sherlock answered.
"I just realized one day that I wasting too much of my life away. So I got healthy."
"The only good thing about Annie being healthy is that she is better at dealing with me." Sherlock smiled.
"So how do you two know each other." Joan asked.
"Sherlock did you not tell her anything?" I give him my stink face. "We met in school. I was a first year in Oxford and he was working with one of my professors. One day we just started talking and it just clicked. We have been friends ever since."
"So how many years is that?"
"Over 14 years dealing with this man. Sometimes I wonder if I am mentally imbalanced for putting up with him for so long." Sherlock gives me a stink face. "But the one thing you can say about Sherlock is that he keeps life entertaining."
"So what do you do?"
"Me, I work in the music industry, basically I produce and write songs."
"I am dying to know, what made you decide on this little trip? Work related or personal." Sherlock decided to break into the discussion.
"I was wondering how long it would take your curiosity. Work mostly. I have been working with an artist and he wanted me here when they preview his song tomorrow at a club."
"That is not your normal forte. Normally you just make the music and hand it off."
"I do, normally. But he offered and I decided to screw it. I needed to come back sometime and it just seemed like the right time."
"There is more to that story." He states simply.
"Truthfully, I am thinking about moving back. I have been away too long. My parents are getting older and my brother has kids now. Being in London just seems selfish."
"Are you thinking about New York?" Joan asks innocently.
"Yeah, why not." I answer. Then I take a sip of coffee.
Sherlock watches me for a second. I always hate when he does that because I know he is reading more than he is saying. "Good, I think that is a good idea. Fresh start, new city."
"Fresh start" I smile. The rest of the dinner is nice. I really liked getting to know Joan. The two of them seem good together. As we are getting up to leave I invite them to the club tomorrow night. Sherlock accepts and says he will call me tomorrow.
As he is hugging me good night, he says, "Call him." And I just look at him. I know I need to and I know this has always put Sherlock in an awkward position.
"I will." I will, I will. I swear I will. But not tonight, I have to be in a much more courageous mood.