A/N: So I kinda dig the new tagging system here. I know I took down quite a few stories I considered garbage but yes I'm still writing when time allows, its just life doesn't allow much time anymore so it's pretty cathartic to get even this lame garbage piece written. Anyway the title comes from Girls by The 1975 and I'm ashamed of how much I've listened to that song. The end. I hope this is enjoyed at least a little bit.
Crying is for little boys and he's eight. He's too old to be crying, and no girl is going to make him cry. That's why he's burying his face in his shoulder as Santana Lopez kicks dirt in his face.
"Hey everyone look at the crybaby. Crybaby Finn. You couldn't even make it all the way across the monkey bars so you're crying." He doesn't look up to see her making fun of his tears by mimicking wiping away tears with her fists. "Just keep crying. Nobody likes you anyway."
He shields himself from her last kick of dirt and then stays still just waiting for everyone to leave. And it's only once he thinks everyone has gone back inside for lunch that he finally gets up off the ground.
"Here," another boy stands in front of him holding his hand out. "Santana Lopez is a little bitch. At least that's what my mom says. Noah Puckerman. Noah's from the Bible, he was this dude like put all these animals on a boat so we could go to the zoo and look at them. I'm trying to get people to call me Puck instead. Like a hockey puck, hockey puck's are tough I tried to break one and couldn't."
Finn takes his hand and uses it to pull himself up. He's not sure what the boy means when he says Santana Lopez is a bitch but he knows it's something mean so he thinks this kid's mom is probably right because Santana is mean. "I'll call you Puck." He nods at his new friend as he brushes the dirt from his jeans. "I would have made it across the bars if Santana hadn't kicked me."
"She's stupid. She's a girl. Girls are stupid." Puck pauses and looks back at him, "We can be best friends. And no more stupid girls except for moms because my mom is awesome. Deal?"
Finn look at the hand that helped him up outstretched at him again. "Deal! No girls but moms! My Mom's awesome too. Moms are the only girls we need." He shakes on it before he starts to walk back inside with Noah Puckerman. Puck. His new best friend Puck. "Yeah, no more hanging out with stupid girls." He's not sure what makes girls so stupid, or how he's going to avoid anymore of Santana's torment but he's sure of one thing. He's done with girls... Except for moms because that's the deal.
0000
Their playground pact stands until the last day of 7th grade when Puck tells him they were wrong. That the key it life isn't avoiding girls but making then like you. It sort of makes sense being as he doesn't really hate girls anymore. In fact there's a few he likes, and there's a few that he thinks are really pretty. A few girls he wouldn't mind kissing, of course he'd never tell Puck that because he's probably just make fun of him for never having kissed a girl. So maybe Puck's right maybe they just need girls to like them. He's just not sure how to get any girl to like him.
"Okay but how do we get girls to like us?" He asks his best friend with a shrug.
"Don't worry I got this." Puck responses with an overconfident smile. "Just follow my lead."
Puck tells everyone that they're trying out for the junior high football team next year because they're both better than anyone on the team now.
"Finny here is going to be the quarterback and me his go to receiver. The whole one, two punch is standing right here." Puck slaps his back and gives him a nudge and a wink. He's playing along as best he can but really he's just kind of standing there next to Puck in awe as all the girls start rapid firing questions and falling at their feet.
"I didn't know you could play football?"
"You're really going to be the quarterback?"
The questions from their classmates are endless and really he's not the one with the answers. This plan was all Puck. He knows the only football he's ever seen is on TV and he's only played the game on a Playstation. But he's not going to say any of that though because his entire 7th grade class is surrounding them and hanging on every word said. So he's just going to go along with it. The whole thing is Puck's idea so Puck must have a plan to make it all work out.
Only Puck was just talking and there was no plan. They just luck out when they find a flattened football in Puck's garage and use a bicycle pump to inflate it.
"See dude I told you we'd figure it out."
He doesn't buy into Puck's over confidence but they spend every ounce of summer's daylight with that football. He throws it and Puck catches it. He finds VHS tapes of old games his dad recorded and starts watching them. He decides he wants to be a Quarterback. It's the most important position on the field and the one that seems to impress the most people. Girls included.
But football is way more complicated than he realized. It takes times. Lots of time. For hours he watches those tapes, pausing and rewinding so many times he's afraid the tape itself will break. But he keeps watching and teaches himself different offensive plays. He learns the different types of defensive coverage and how they play the quarterback. His backyard games with Puck turn into games of war against an invisible defense. He starts drawing Puck maps so he can break on the ball in the right places. They create their own backyard playbook and work on the plays from sun up to sun down until they can execute all the plays to perfection. And on days when Puck can't come over he hangs a target on the backyard fence and throws at it. He throws at it over and over picturing Santana Lopez's face in the center of the target each time, cheering to himself each time as he hits the center of it right where he pictures her mouth being. She's just a girl and a girl that picked on him and he's going to shut her up. He grips the football and heaves, watching as it makes a perfect spiral and hits the target.
0000
All his hard work pays off when the first day of summer workouts he's named the starting quarterback. He's just a sophomore and even though he knows that the coaching sucks and they'll probably never win a game, it's still impressive. The guys want him to stay after practice and hang out with the cheerleaders. He knows it's because his new position on the team will help all of them gain points with the girls. Puck tries hard to convince him to stay and brag to the girls, even promises that he'll for sure get to hook up with at least one of the cheerleaders, but Puck's been hooking up with Santana, which honestly makes him a little sick because they had a pact and she's still the epitome of why they made that pact. Even if it's a broken pact he can't help but still hold on to a piece of it because the only girl he wants to brag to is his mom so he's rushing home to her.
Except when he gets home he remembers he left his house key on his desk and his mom is working late. Now he's going to have to climb in his house through the window he's fighting to get open. He'd be embarrassed if there were around to see it.
"Finn?"
He freezes. The voice that called his name is soft and feminine and definitely not his mom. And now he's embarrassed even if he doesn't quite recognize the voice. By the time he manages to turn around, she's there. Like right there in his space, so close he's afraid if he moves he might accidental knock her over or something.
"You're Quinn Fabray." He manages to croak out through his embarrassment.
"And you're Finn Hudson." She says before she pushes him against the house and kisses him.
It's unexpected and awkward. He can't move and he's not sure what to do with his hands. Because what's he supposed to do with his hands when this popular girl he's barely ever spoken to is kissing him. She breaks away and smiles at him with this smile that he wishes he could pretend was completely sincere.
"You and me. We should be a couple now. It makes sense."
He nods even though he's not sure it does make sense but that doesn't really matter when she leans up and kisses him again. He's willing to go with it though because she's a girl, and a really pretty girl that wants to kiss him. Maybe that's only because he's the quarterback now but he it doesn't really matter. She won't be kicking dirt in his face and the kissing her, that's just an awesome bonus.
00000
The school year starts and on the surface his life is awesome. Because really his life is awesome. He's the quarterback dating the head cheerleader, and his team may even be able to win a game this year. It's just the thing about dating Quinn is that it comes with all these rules and not just about what they can and can't do while making out. Though he honestly doesn't think it should take an act of God to get to touch her boobs, people brush against them all the time in the lunch line so why can't he just get a handful for just a second? But aside from that there are all these rules about dating her. Like who he can and can't talk to, what he can and can't do at school. He has to join this religious club she started even though he's not even sure if he believes in God. He's only willing to go with it because well she's a girl. And she's supposed to be his girl, so he's going along with it even if he's not entirely sure why he's bothering. There's a part of him that wants to shed his new image. He didn't learn to throw a football to be popular. Or maybe he did, his motivation all those years ago was to stick it Santana Lopez and now instead of kicking dirt in his face they run in the same circle. So that's a win. And he's pretty good at football, he knows he's not great but maybe he could be and he's not willing to give up that shot. So he's just going to do what he's supposed to do because even if he has his doubts, even if he doesn't totally get it... At least he's not getting dirt kicked or slushies tossed in his face.
0000
Then Mr. Schue, the Spanish teacher, finds pot in his locker. It's not his, but Mr. Schue doesn't believe him and while it's a huge break that he's not being turned into the principal or even worse the cops, the solution is just as bad. He has to join the new glee club Schue is overseeing. There's a part of him that would rather have to deal with the cops or face his mom. When he finds out which one of the guys stashed it there he's totally going to kick his ass. Of course that at least to some extent require admitting that's walking on into a glee club rehearsal and that's just not going to happen so maybe he won't be kicking anyone's ass.
He recognizes the few other kids there. His friends would call it a totally freak show with the stutter girl, the wheelchair kid, the black chick he actually thinks is kinda cool, the obviously gay kid Puck likes to toss into dumpsters and this girl... Rachel. He knows of the other kids until he gets to her, to Rachel. He knows her name but he's not sure why. They've never spoken. He's passed by her while walking to school, he knows where she lives, and seen her in the hallways at school. He's seen the other guys slushie her on the basis she dresses funny and posts weird videos of herself singing but he's never seen one and he's never been able to justify throwing and iced drink in her face.
The way she grabs him and starts singing is overwhelming and a little scary and she's looking at him with these crazy eyes. And honestly he's terrified she might just jump on top of him, and his entire life would be blown to hell but then they break from Grease and she starts singing on her own. He doesn't know the song but her voice... The way she sings... Her expressions... Her emotions. It's just so... It's so raw and so real. He's never heard anything like that before and he's pretty sure if he keeps listening he's going to get lost in her voice. He's pretty sure if he keeps listening he's going to get lost in this girl. And that just can't happen, so he's going to bail on this rehearsal as soon as he possibly can.
He bails from the first rehearsal and spends the night trying to figure out how to juggle football without anyone finding out about his other extracurricular activity. By morning he's figured out a basic plan, where the two don't intersect and he pretends not to know the glee kids during school hours. He knows it won't last forever but maybe it can work for now. It will work for now as soon as he can get that girl... not that girl, Rachel, her name is Rachel Berry. It will all work as soon as he can get Rachel Berry out of his head. Taking the long way on the walk to school doesn't help because he walks right by her house. And it's on purpose though he'll never admit that to Puck or any of the guys on the team. But there are a lot of things he'll never admit to them. Like how he's just doing what he thinks he's supposed to do because he doesn't want to be the loser kid on the playground getting dirt kicked in his face. Or like how even though he's got a girlfriend, he just doesn't get girls. He doesn't get girls but he thinks... There's a girl and she's not his girlfriend. She doesn't fit in with his crowd, but he's starting to believe that he doesn't really fit in with them either. And maybe that's why he's walking by her house right now wishing he could bring himself to walk up and knock on her door. His eyes look up to the windows on the second story as he wonders which one is hers and for a moment he tries to picture what her room looks like.
He can't make himself knock on her door right now but he will one day because in all of his years he's never got girls until now... Now he gets girls. Or at least he gets one girl.
