I knew that this would happen eventually; it was inevitable. And yet, after all my attempts to ready myself, I still wasn't prepared for the blow it dealt to me. I don't think there is anything I could have done to help protect my heart, or rather, nothing that I would have done.

So it is my self-imposed fate to deal with this pain. Considering all that I have done, the blood that stains my hands and soul, it is only a fitting punishment.

But then, why are others that have done as I have, others that have done worse, escaping punishment? Why are many of them being rewarded?

He's left me for another. It's what he wants, so I have done, and will do, nothing to stop him. He deserves whatever happiness he can get in his life, and who am I to prevent him from obtaining it?

I only pray that my luck hasn't run completely dry. To survive the war only to have to live out the rest of my life in loneliness is a fate worse than death, to my way of thinking.

I'm lost now—lost and alone—and I just want to be found.

I walked into our bedroom one day and came face to face with the very image I had been hoping I would never see: Treize and WuFei in bed together. They weren't doing anything; in fact, the Chinese boy was asleep. But when I saw the looks of contentment and happiness on their faces, I knew that any chances of salvaging my relationship with Treize were gone. He'd never looked that happy when I was with him.

I didn't make a big scene, a fact that seemed to relieve Treize immensely. I simply gathered up my belongings, making sure to stay quiet so as not to wake my former lover's current—and likely soon to be permanent—partner, and left. I didn't worry about leaving anything behind as I knew that even if I did, Treize would make sure it got to me. It's just his way.

Home: it's an empty word when there's nothing there to bring to mind fond memories and nobody for you to make a set of new ones with. Still, 'home' is where I went; a large mansion, completely empty of anything I loved or knew. My father had left it to me and the only memories it brought were of him, and they were not particularly soothing ones.

This was not the happy place where my family had lived together when I was a child. This was the place where I had last been together with them all, and I hadn't been happy with any of them. A child's temper is a terrible, sensitive thing, and mine was no exception; I never had a chance to apologize to my father for being so horrible. Not a happy place, not happy thoughts.

But I had nowhere else to go and nobody to turn to. I suppose that I could have gone to Noin, but I don't want to impose on that wonderful woman. She's happy with her current job, her current life. I don't want to change that.

That's exactly why I'm still living there, in that sad shadow of a home, after an entire month. Or, at least, the majority of my belongings are still there. The building and its contents are still devoid of happy attachments, and do little to quell my feelings of loneliness. Considering the way I'm constantly somewhere else, I've concluded that I must be trying to avoid it.

That is why I'm traveling the colonies, one by one, doing what I can to help at each of them. I just left L1 and am on my way to L2. I've seen the multitude of orphanages and homeless children there, and I want to help improve the conditions they live under. After being part of the war that ravaged their lives, it's the very least I can do.

I knew it was too good to be true. I've always known it, right from the beginning. Over time I let myself believe that maybe I was good enough for him, just like he always told me I was, and look where that's gotten me: into a bigger mess than before.

Imagine. I fooled myself into thinking that I was better than Relena Miss Queen of the World, Richer Than Everyone, Pink Limousine and Fancy Dresses Relena!

Yeah. I run, I hide, but I never lie… except to myself. You've really done it this time, Maxwell. Biggest fool of them all.

At least it happened differently than I'd imagined when Heero and I first hooked up… I always thought it would be really dramatic: He'd come in with Relena hanging off of him, sweep her off her feet, kiss her, and leave me crying in the background. I was right on one account: I was left crying. Other than that, it was completely different.

I was putting up some groceries I'd just bought when he walked into the kitchen. I knew right away that something was wrong. He wasn't smiling, but that was nothing unusual. It was the way he was looking at me, just like the way he did when we first met and I tried to kill him.

"Heero? What… what's wrong?" I asked him hesitantly. Incidentally, I happened to be holding a carton of eggs when I made that inquiry.

"Duo… I'm just here to say goodbye."

"What? Goodbye? Where are you- Oh God. You're leaving me for her, aren't you? You are. God, you bastard! I don't understand! If you love her, why'd you get with me to begin with?" I shouted. My grip on the egg carton tightened and the lid came halfway open. Not that I noticed at the time or anything, of course, but looking back it's a pretty clear memory.

"Duo, I'm sorry. You taught me to care, to realize that my feelings shouldn't just be ignored. And once I took hold of what you were saying, I realized that it wasn't you I wanted to be with. Not like that. The one I truly want is Relena." Remorse—and maybe some guilt too, I'm still not sure—flickered across his face. At least he's gotten to where he'll show some emotion to people he cares for… even if he only cares for them 'as a friend.'

"And when did you realize that?"

"Near the end of the war."

"What? You've been in love with Relena for that long and lied to me about it? About everything?"

Heero sighed and shook his head a little. "I've never lied to you about anything like that, Duo. I always loved you. I still love you. I always will love you. I just want to see you happy. During the war, I had to make sure you were happy. I didn't want you to kill yourself in a fit of depression. But now that times are peaceful, I know that you can find someone else, someone better suited for you than I am."

I laughed bitterly. "Yeah, real easy for you to say. You aren't the one getting dumped." The other side of the carton lid popped open.

"Duo, I'm not dumping you. I'm just changing the level of our relationship. I was hoping that we could just stay friends."

"You want us to 'just stay friends', huh? Yes, Heero, we can stay friends… But I need some time away from you right now. I don't know how long, but don't try talking to me or even trying to see me until I come to you."

"Duo, I—"

"Just go, Heero." I could feel the tears starting to well up in my eyes and struggled to keep my voice from wavering. As if Heero didn't already know how I was feeling.

"Alright, Duo, I understand. But whenever you decide that you're ready, I want you to remember that our home will always be open to you. Relena doesn't really hate you, you know. She was just jealous of our friendship."

I somehow managed to force the slightest sliver of a smile onto my face. "Oh, I always knew she was jealous of me. With you being the one she wanted, how could she not be? Thanks, Heero."

"There's no reason for you to thank me, Duo. Not for causing you pain. I…" Heero looked away from me and closed his lips for a few seconds. "Goodbye, Duo." He hesitated for a moment, then turned and walked out of the apartment.

The carton fell from my suddenly useless hands. The eggs shattered when they hit the ground, and the hold I'd kept on my tears shattered with them. I collapsed to the floor, sobbing, surrounded by egg yolks and shells.

It took me a good hour to stop crying, and it was another ten minutes before I gathered enough strength and willpower to stand up and go to my bedroom. It was no surprise to me that all of Heero's clothes were gone; it was only to be expected, given the situation. I was surprised to find that he had also taken the framed picture of us that had been on the nightstand.

In retrospect, I suppose it was the smart thing to do because I'm sure that in one of my fits of depression or anger, I probably would have broken it. Looking at the half-empty room made me want to cry again, but I couldn't. Instead I just dragged myself onto the bed and went to sleep.

A week passed and I still wasn't dealing with the situation very well, but I didn't know why. Another week went by and I was no better. That's when I realized that it was because the apartment was too full of memories of Heero, or more specifically, memories of Heero and me.

I decided to leave Earth behind and go back to L2. That's always been my real home; Heero was the one that wanted to live on Earth, and I could never tell him no. Besides, I grew up on L2, and even with all its cons it still has a special place in my heart.

I've been here on L2 for almost a week now. That makes it almost a month since Heero announced his—our—so-called change in relationship. Things are a little better, but not much. At least now I've got something other than thoughts of Heero to occupy my mind. I'm trying my best to help the orphanages by donating my time and what little money I can spare.

We're getting another helper tomorrow, and I'm supposed to pick him up from the airport to show him around. Rumor has it that he's rich. I don't really care if he's rolling in cash or flat out broke; he's another pair of hands to help fix an orphanage roof or plant a food garden for the poor, even if he isn't the one donating the supplies. And he's a potential friend, which makes things even better. I'm not the solitary type, ya know, and I don't have any real friends here on L2.

My contact said they would send a young man to the airport to meet me and show me where to go, but I don't know how I'm supposed to recognize him. Ah well, I'm sure that I'll be fine one way or another.

I leave the plane and enter the terminal. As I walk towards the luggage claim center I quickly survey the crowd, looking for anyone approaching me specifically. I don't see anyone that stands out.

I take my luggage off of the conveyor belt as it goes past and turn to make my way towards one of the exits. A strangely familiar figure off to my right catches my attention and I look towards it from the corner of my eye. Nothing. Perhaps it's only my imagination?

My thoughts distract me momentarily and I bump into someone.

"Oh, pardon me, I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was… going," I apologize quickly, trailing off at the end. I stare for a few short moments before my manners take over. "Duo Maxwell?" I ask incredulously.

Oh Lord. How do they expect me to find anyone in a crowd like this? I'm a trained terrorist, a professional assassin, a lethal killing machine, and damn good looking to boot, but I'm not a bloodhound, and I don't have a built-in radar system! It's flattering that they've overestimated my skills, but it doesn't make things easy on me.

Oh well. I'll find him eventually. My luck may not be that great lately, but it can't be so bad that I can't find one person in a few hours. At least, I don't think it can…

Great. To make my day even better, I just bumped into someone. It must not be my fault since they're the one apologizing, but that isn't the point.

"Duo Maxwell?" a male voice stutters. Wait, they know me? This could be trouble. My head whips up and I stare. And stare.

"Yeah," I manage to stutter. "Zechs? Zechs Marquise?"

Okay. Gundam Wing isn't mine, neither are its characters. This wonderful anime belongs to its creator and owners and such, not to me. Only the idea of this story is mine. So don't sue. I'm fairly proud of this story, so please email me with any comments or criticism. Thank you all in advance.