All the members of the Akatsuki gathered round the television, squeezing themselves on the worn-out cream couch as the TV blared with the familiar, lilting, romantic Disney music and they all held their breath as the two main characters held each others' hands and sang the duet.
"And at last I see the light," Sakura sang loudly as Rapunzel opened her mouth to sing the line, and lay down on Itachi's lap. She pulled on his shirt, smiling brightly up at him. "Come on, Tachi-kun! Sing with me," she said happily.
"Hn." His eyes stayed on the television, paying no heed to pink-haired medic who has him wrapped around her finger.
The other members snorted. "The day Itachi sings is the day the world ends, yeah," Deidara said casually. "It is also the fucking day you know his feelings for you are fucking real," Hidan added. Itachi flashed them a warning looked but made no move to get up from his position on the couch, and continued stroking Sakura's hair. She giggled, sending soft vibrations through Itachi's thin shirt. "Don't worry about it, Tachi-kun. I won't embarrass you and your feelings. But one day I'll have you singing," she said lightly, before her emerald eyes turned hard. "Never forget."
The others fidgeted, knowing full well how Sakura can turn from sweet, emotional girl to scary-as-fuck kunoichi in a span of point something seconds. Pein cleared his throat nervously, and Sasori decided to speak up. "Perhaps it is best that we finish this movie first, Harun-san?" he said carefully, taking special care to keep his voice from cracking. Sakura looked at them thoughtfully, but then settled deeper down on Itachi's lap, giving a vigorous nod. "Of course! This is my favorite part!" then turned her eyes back to the television. Everyone sighed in relief and watched the movie again, and Itachi looked down at his lover, giving her a small smile.
The next day, Itachi was sent on a mission, and everyone else- except Sakura- was devastated to see him go. A Disney-intoxicated Sakura unrestrained by Itachi is probably the worst type of Sakura, much to everyone's fear.
"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat," Sakura sang as she entered the kitchen, twirling around and grabbing Kisame's spoon from his hand. "It is neat, when I was still using it to eat my cereal," he grumbled. Sakura ignored him, heading towards Tobi, who was cooking her scrambled eggs. "What's a fire and why does it what's the word-" she accidentally swatted Tobi's hand and it was plunged over the flames. "Burn….." Tobi squeaked, tears visibly pooling over the hole in his mask. "Tobi's a good boy," he whimpered, but Sakura was already on her way out the kitchen, oblivious to what was happening around her. "Someday I'll be part of that world!"
"WHOOOOOO IS THAT GIRL I SEE, STARING STRAIGHT BACK AT-"
"Obviously your own fucking self, girl! Don't be stupid," Hidan shouted from his room. Sakura made winky faces at the mirror just as Sasori was walking past the bathroom on his way to his quarters. "I would advise Haruno-san to not sing while brushing her teeth, the toothpaste bubbles are making filthy marks on the mirror," Sasori's words fell on deaf ears, however, as Sakura continued to sing. "WHEN WILL MY REFLECTION SHOW WHO I AM INSIIIIIIIIIDE."
Sakura ran in the kitchen, quickly making herself a peanut butter sandwich. "Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest," she sang with her mouth full, bumping into Pein on her way out. "Sakura," he said warningly, his violet eyes slowly glowing. "Come taste the sunsweet berries of the earth," she continued, singing to his face. "Sakura," he said once more, a bit louder. "Leader-sama just around the river bend-" "will be your blood on the walls if you don't shut up this instant," he said threateningly, his Rinnegan flaring. Sakura then closed her mouth, carefully chewing on her sandwich. Then she bolted out the kitchen, and promptly started singing again. "WE NEED TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIIIIIIIND."
When Sakura sneaked down the stairs to eat some chocolate ice cream, she found Konan sniffling in front of the TV, the final episode of ANBU Over Flowers playing. She sat beside her and wrapped her arm around Konan's shoulders. "Stop your crying, it'll be all right, just take my hand, hold it tight. I will protect you-" "THANKS FOR RUINING THE FUCKING EPISODE, SAKURA-CHAN," Konan snarled, shooting her a death glare while wriggling out of her grip. Sakura merely put her arms back and continued singing, rocking them both back and forth. Konan knew struggle was futile, so she sighed and let her continue. "You'll be in my heart, no matter what they say. From this day on, now and forevermore…"
It was well past midnight when Kakuzu was promptly awoken by a sharp rapping on his door. He opened the door and found a sleep-mussed Sakura, her eyes large and pleading. "Kuzu-chan. Come and get money, I want dango," she whispered, using her innocent, little girl voice. He looked at her, trying hard not to crack from her charm. "It's 1:15 AM," he simply said. Sakura sniffed. "I know but… I really miss Itachi and I need some dango right now," she sniffed again, and Kakuzu's heart broke. He doubtfully reached for his wallet. "I really don't think-" Sakura, sensing weakness, pounced immediately. "Come on then, Kuzu-chan!" she said, dragging him down the stairs. "I can show you the world shining shimmering splendid! Tell me princess, now when did you last let your heart decide," she sang in a whisper, not wanting to wake up the others. When I wasn't affected by your ridiculously irresistible charm, Kakuzu thought sadly.
The day was sunny, perfect for training. Explosive clay training, to be exact. Deidara was teaching Sakura how to mold the clay properly and carefully put in the exploding jutsu so they could spar together. "You aren't molding it enough, Saku-chan. If you do it too relaxed, it won't soften, yeah. Your clay creatures won't go far when sparring against mine, yeah," Sakura suddenly stopped molding the clay and looked up at him. Without missing a beat, a smile graced her face and she started singing. "I can go the distance. I know every mile will be worth my while. I will go the distance till my journey is complete…." All the other members shot dirty looks at Deidara, who paled considerably. He barely had enough time to run into the house before a flurry of kunai, shuriken, and senbon were launched at him.
They were playing Mario Kart one day when the joystick suddenly stopped working, and Tobi got up to get Sasori to get him to fix it. Sakura carefully surveyed the lineup of characters, and that's when she saw Princess Peach and Mario beside each other. Her eyes glowed. "No chance, no way. I won't say I'm in love. It's too cliché, I won't say I'm in looooooooove," she belted out suddenly. Beside her, Hidan growled. "Yes you are fucking in love, girl. With Uchiha fucking Itachi," he shook his head, then looked at Pein, who was already looking green. "Honestly I don't know how he fucking stands her," he told the Leader, a bit more quietly. It made no difference however, as Sakura still gave him a punch to the jaw. She stood up to leave, murmuring quietly, "At least out loud, I won't say I'm in love," Pein glanced at Hidan, who was rubbing his slowly swelling jaw. "It seems I made a mistake on sending Uchiha on that solo mission."
The night Itachi returned a week after, the members were already so close to going insane. "Go and see your lover, now, Uchiha. She's been driving us crazy," Kisame barked. Itachi merely looked at them, walking up the stairs into their room. The small geisha puppet that was on the kitchen table started to shuffle just as they heard Itachi open the door to their room. "Now we find out if the Uchiha bastard really loves Saku-chan, yeah," Deidara said. "It's a wonder Sasori even had a chance to slip the other puppet into their room," Konan said. Sasori shifted in his seat, visibly annoyed. "All of you stop talking," he commanded as the geisha puppet started transmitting the sounds from the upstairs room. "And at last I see the light," they heard Sakura sing again, but more softly this time. There was a pregnant pause before they heard Itachi suck in a breath. Sasori couldn't quite cut off the connection to the puppet in time when they heard, to their horror, Itachi's tender response (which gave them severe emotional and mental scarring). "And it's like the fog has lifted."
The Akatsuki wasn't able to function properly for a week.