Title: For Want of A Shoe
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: To Draco Malfoy losing a shoe is not a good sign of things to come. Particularly the shoes that have a 100% success rate of getting him what he wants.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
Warning(s): none
Epilogue compliant? no
Word Count: 1,500
Author's Notes: This was spawed out of quite of a few of my friends experiences with a certain shoe that tones as you walk. Also thanks to D. for her awesome betaing assistance.

For Want of a Shoe

"Muggles come up with some of the strangest ideas." Draco spoke thoughtfully staring at his ass in the mirror. When his reflection gave a wolf whistle in appreciation, Draco took a bow.

It was strange; Draco had been just about to give up on figuring out exactly how his television worked. The only reason he had gotten it in the first place was in an attempt to become better versed in Muggle technology. Even then, the sole purpose of the acquisition was to have something to talk about with some of the Muggle-borns at work.

When Draco was just about to give up on the television and possibly hex it, a commercial for the revolutionary shoes came on. Having an extensive shoe collection Draco was initially intrigued by the commercial's claims. It boasted that the shoes would improve your backside and tone legs by a twenty percent. They weren't the most attractive shoes, though they resembled regular trainers. They only differed in the fact that they had weighted balls in the sole. Draco purchased the shoes, figuring that it couldn't hurt to try them, and if nothing else, he could always destroy them and chalk it up to a moment of temporary insanity. When they arrived, Draco was amazed at how comfortable they felt on his feet and how he could swore he could almost feel them working.

For three months Draco wore the Muggle footwear, charming them to appear to be regular boots. While Draco would never admit that he needed them, the shoes had helped. He had a little more oomph in the looks department now. Draco couldn't help but think that the shoes were part of the reason he had scored his current boyfriend. Hopefully, they would help him keep said man.

Removing the Muggle shoes he had worn earlier while running errands, Draco reverently placed them in the back of his closet before placing a concealment charm on them. Draco sighed happily as he laid out his clothes and began the preparation process for his date. Taking a long shower, Draco took care of all the idiosyncrasies that defined his appearance. The careful removal of facial hair and body hair, exfoliation to make sure his skin was smooth, followed by a rich moisturizer with a light scent. Finishing the bathing ritual, he cast a charm on his hair to maintain its carefully coiffed style before slipping on a cashmere sweater. Leaning over, Draco put on his boxer briefs, then his trousers that fit just so. Nodding to himself, he put on his silk socks before grabbing one of his favorite pairs of shoes from the closet..

The supple leather loafer cradled his foot to perfection while giving just the right amount of lift in the form of a low heel. His friends called them his "fuck me" loafers. Prior to beginning his toning shoe regimen the loafers had given him a certain swagger. Now over three months into the regimen, Draco knew the shoes were almost the equivalent of women's stilettos. Sliding on one shoe, Draco reached for the other, flexing his foot prettily. When his hand didn't locate anything, Draco frowned.

"Where is my shoe? Accio fuck me loafer!" When no shoe came to him, Draco tried to think of a way to find it. Every spell he tried failed to produce the wayward loafer. After an hour of fruitless searching, Draco decided that he couldn't go on his date without wearing his so-sexy footwear. They were the ones that got him all the compliments from Harry and had a 100% success rate for getting him laid.

In a sudden fit of temper, Draco began to hex different objects in his room. "My ass looks amazing, and now I can't find my shoe." Marching over to the Floo, Draco threw in the powder, stuck his head in and declared to Harry, who had been putting on his own shoes, "We can't go on our date. I can't find my other shoe." With a sniff, Draco ended the Floo call and marched into his kitchen. His house elf Bunny had wisely made him a cup of mint tea and disappeared.

Draco's eyes narrowed with determination as he sipped the tea. He was going to find his shoe. Charming another pair just wouldn't work; they wouldn't have the same feel. Putting down his tea, Draco lifted his wand. He was only dimly aware of Harry calling him from the Floo. "Accio shoes!" The ensuing chaos made Draco briefly rethink his plan, but it was too late.

Red shoes, black shoes, boots, sneakers and sandals shot into the kitchen where Draco stood unable to catch the sudden influx. Mentally cursing his shoe habit, Draco tried to shield against them, but soon enough he was knee deep in an amazing variety of footwear. Grumbling, Draco began to search through the pile.

"DRACO!"

"In here," Draco called absentmindedly, as his boyfriend/potential future husband, (if he but knew it) walked into the kitchen.

"Looking for something in particular?" Harry asked innocently.

Something in Harry's voice alerted Draco; when he looked up, he blinked in shock. Harry was leaning against his kitchen door jamb with the loafer dangling from his finger. "When you kicked your shoes off at my place last week, you left this behind." Harry explained, holding out the shoe in question.

"Why exactly don't I remember that?" Draco drawled dangerously, putting his hands on his hips. "Why exactly was my loafer at your place?"

Harry smiled ruefully shifting back and forth on his feet nervously. Scratching his head, he smiled hopefully. "I might have sort of wanted to see you again and I figured having something of yours would give me another chance."

Raising an eyebrow Draco tapped his foot. "So how did you manage to get my shoe?"

"Remember? You were drinking, and I was massaging your feet. I Apparated you home without one." Harry twisted a little bit to apologize and hope for mercy, when he caught sight of a pair of Muggle footwear. "Wait a minute Draco are those…."

"No!" Draco flicked his wand to banish his beloved bounce ball technology trainers. "I have no idea what you are talking about." Draco began to send his shoes back to his closet systematically.

"Draco those were…" Harry didn't dare to finish the sentence and chose instead to dive from the room as a hex flew just by his ear. "That's why your ass has looked more bitable recently!" He exclaimed aloud. Harry was met by a shocked silence. Crawling on hands and knees, he went to the kitchen door and peeked around the corner warily.

Draco was sitting on the floor with his back in the corner, pouting. Harry had the strangest urge to crawl over and take that pouting lower lip in his mouth, but knew better. Something about the irritated way the wand was tapping Draco's knee was a clear warning sign. Clearing his throat slightly, Harry cautiously scooted forward to be in view. His hands lifted slightly to show he had no wand in them.

"Why are you so mad that I now know how your ass got that way?" Harry realized that he would have been better off not speaking when Draco looked at him sharply. "I mean it was amazing and drool worthy in school. It is almost crazy how amazing it is starting to….I mean I didn't think it could get….I mean it's hard to improve on perfection." Laughing nervously, Harry scratched his head.

"Potter, shut up." Draco sighed. "You are an idiot. You are lucky you at least look good and replaced those horrible glasses with something more acceptable. Your job as a Quidditch trainer keeps you in some type of shape. Mine has me sitting behind a desk and in no position to maintain my physique. Even genetically blessed people need to do some maintenance occasionally."

"I think it looked perfect to begin with. I mean maybe now it is a little juicier and apple bottomy but it looks amazing. Your legs are just…I mean, I can imagine them…uhmmm shutting up again." Harry closed his mouth with a click when he noticed Draco's sardonic expression. "I'll just go now." Figuring that it might be a good idea for him to leave before he stepped in it further, Harry turned to go through the Floo. He tripped, landing on the carpet in front of the hearth. Harry rolled over and blinked up at Draco, who crouched down beside him. Then after a moment of hesitation, Draco straddled Harry, smiling down at him.

"You can imagine my twenty percent improved-in-tone thighs and rear doing what?" Draco drawled playfully, rolling his hips slightly.

"Well you see there was this thing." Harry trailed off, feeling himself getting excited and knowing that he might babble if he wasn't careful.

"Go on, but before you continue though, one question….What exactly does 'apple bottomy' mean?"

The End.