A/N: This is a VERY old story I found I had saved on my computer that I truthfully quite liked. But I never got any farther than what's written here. And though I don't plan on fixing it or adding to it, I thought, "Hey, what's the use if it's just sitting around not being read?" So, here you go. A story from me that has many errors and a shaky plotline, but I could care less. Enjoy, I suppose. Who knows, if you leave me reviews, I just may add to it one day.
Pairings: None at the moment, but eventually Ed/Envy
THIS IS BASED OFF OF THE ENDING OF THE FIRST ANIME SERIES AND THE MOVIE. IT IS IN NO WAY RELATED TO THE MANGA OR BROTHERHOOD.
"Damn it!" He shouted in rage, pounding his fists into the foreign road below him, his knuckles feeling the strange new sensation of lasting pain. He moved his hands up to inspect them, eyes widening in fury at the real blood seeping from the cuts that adorned his pale white hands. The rain poured down around him, soaking his long hair and barely-there outfit, and the strange thing was he actually felt the cold seeping into his skin. He threw his head back and screamed at the top of his lungs, not being able to control his wrath, and he now knew what his brother felt every day of his life. His screaming tapered off when he found the need to breathe once more and his violent amethyst eyes opening up to gaze at the pouring rain, his arms falling limply to his sides. He could still hear the echo of his own voice bouncing off the walls of the buildings not too far away from him. His gaze redirected to those buildings, seeing the people who lived there locking their doors and windows, staring at him in fear. Usually that fear that shone in their eyes would bring him happiness, but now it only seemed to bring him an unfamiliar ache in his chest. What was wrong with him? How could any of this happen to him? He was greater than these filthy humans, a higher being of pure sin. He was-
That was the point wasn't it? He was. No longer was he whom he used to be. He felt the other sins that he committed stirring up inside himself. No longer was he a single sin, because now he could feel each and every one of his brothers and sisters clawing at his being, taking control. There was Wrath, standing tall and furious. Pride hiding in the shadows, ready to rear his ugly head. Gluttony making his stomach growl in frustration, and Lust was wrapping him in her warm embrace. Greed clawed at his gut, making him feel sick and Sloth made him want to give up hope and curl into a ball on the muddy foreign soil.
But as Envy made his appearance once more, he finally felt whole. He represented all of the sins joining together in one sin's entire being, but suddenly it made him feel sick once more, now that all of the different emotions clouded his once clear mind. No longer was he only focused on envy and jealousy, but now he had to try and control each and every one of his brother and sister sins. It felt like his insides had been doused in acid, a poison running through his veins. He clutched his stomach and he felt as if his entire being was jarred as his body lurched forward and he fell to his knees. He coughed and spluttered, finally getting the actual poison out of his system and he could finally breathe again. There, on the muddy ground in front of him, was the thing that used to hold his very life together. The red stone shimmered for a moment more before it crumbled and disappeared into the mud as a useless dust, almost like it symbolized how useless it really was. He let out a shaky breath, trying to keep a hold on his consciousness. There was definitely something wrong with him, and he now knew exactly what it was. Envy the Jealous was no longer a true homunculus. Now, he was something as low as the mud beneath is knees, below the parasites in the mud, and far deeper down than the bacteria that clung to those parasites.
He was almost human.
He felt like screaming, shouting, raging until he could no longer function at all, but he was overcome by a wave of pure exhaustion that clawed at his consciousness. Sloth made him this way; made him want to curl into a ball and die, because it took just too much effort to care. He found that he could no longer make even the smallest sound, his throat closing up on him in another unfamiliar human feeling. He clenched his hands and held them to his chest, the air being forced to move through his lungs. He felt like he couldn't breathe even when he took huge gulps of oxygen. He knew that he was covered in dirt and blood, his hair hanging wet around his pale face, but for once in his life, he couldn't bring himself to care. All of the things that made Envy who he was, seemed to have been washed away by the pouring rain and all it left was an empty shell filled with rage, shame and sorrow. He couldn't remember what his purpose in life was anymore, and he could barely remember his life he lived. That damn thing; it had taken everything. His life, pieces of his memory, his entire being had been his equivalent exchange, and all because of that bastard Greed.
The crimson liquid that once ran through his veins had been replaced with the real thing that it used to imitate, and Envy quickly found that it had begun filling his stomach, making him vomit just as it started to seep from between his pale lips. The blood mixed with the wet earth below him and created something vile and disgusting. He began to think of all that was happening to him, and he came up with one simple question. 'Why me?' Out of all of the homunculus alive, he was the one who despised the humans the most, and yet now here he was, knee deep in mud and the closest that any of the artificial beings had ever come to being a true human. He couldn't help but agree with what Greed had said about him; he was weak and pitiful. He wasn't even himself any more- just agreeing with something that the bastard Greed had said proved that to be true. Maybe it was time to just give up.
But no, he couldn't do that. His brother sin Pride rose up and made him get off of the ground and he started walking towards the city. There had to be something that he could do. He wasn't useless; he was Envy, for god's sake. Envy huffed indignantly at that thought. God, if there was one thing that he had in common with the Fullmetal-chibi, it was thoughts on God. There was no God, there never will be, and for Envy, that was the end of that discussion.
He decided that he would try to find some sort of shelter or food in the city that he could get his hands on. There were many buildings, stores and restaurants, but as soon as Envy came anywhere near the beginning of the street, everything would be closed instantly. He felt like screaming again in frustration and anger, but he still couldn't find his voice, Sloth having taken it hostage. He soon found himself in what seemed to be the town square, a large fountain in the middle of the area that trickled softly, and he made his way up to it sluggishly. He sat on the edge, and he laid on his side, bringing his legs up into a strange almost-fetal position, his right arm hanging across his chest and down off of the side of the fountain. He could feel Sloth taking over again and he just wanted to let his eyes slip shut and take the plunge into eternal rest. As far as he was concerned, he had given his all for the moment and if he was lucky, or unlucky, he would wake up again, and he could try and find something else tomorrow. But for now, he was just completely hopeless.
"Hey! Hey, are you alright?" A blond male was rushing to see if Envy was alright. In his left hand was a black umbrella and a simple brown messenger bag was thrown over his right shoulder. Envy peered up at him through his wet hair and the pouring rain as he ran towards him, his shoes making the puddles of water on the cobblestones shudder as they were disturbed. Envy figured that he had been laying there for close to an hour without anyone even walking passed him. He was almost beginning to think that the people he had seen before were an illusion of his distraught mind and the town was actually deserted. But then this man showed up, obviously having not gotten the message to stay away from the stranger that looked like a drowned rat. When the man approached him, Envy noted that his blond hair and almost golden eyes looked very familiar, but he just couldn't quite place it, Sloth not giving him any room for a care in the world. He saw the man's lips forming words and more than likely asking him if he was alright, but Envy wasn't listening. He was instead trying to push Sloth from his mind and search his memory of an image of this man, but nothing was coming up and Sloth was for once putting up a fight. The concerned look in his eyes wasn't helping Envy place it, because he could tell that the person he was thinking of was never concerned for him. He wanted to place where he had seen him before, so he decided to change his expression.
Envy finally made Sloth disperse and he forced himself to stand up quickly, finding that he was surprisingly stable, he looked to the familiar man once more and saw shock in his eyes, and it seemed to just click in the sin's fuzzy mind. The Fullmetal Alchemist. Edward Elric was standing right in front of him somehow. He didn't think that it could ever be possible again, but there he was. Without another second for thought, Envy leapt forward, a snarl on his lips and Wrath now taking over his mind. Rage showed in his eyes as he grabbed Fullmetal by his shoulders, ready to flip him into a position where he couldn't attack. But something was off. When Envy's hands grabbed on to the other's shoulders, he didn't feel any cold hard metal underneath the right shoulder of his button up shirt. Envy's snarl slid from his face slowly and a look of pure confusion replaced it. He tried to come up with an explanation of how this could be, but pain suddenly shot up through his entire body and he felt his knees go weak, the blood rushing to his head once more. He fell to his knees once again, the cobblestones cutting into his legs and the blood mixing with the mud that was covering him already and it just made him care even less.
The man had been taken aback by Envy's straightforwardness, but he still yelped and tried to catch the sin when he fell once more, only managing making himself almost slip and fall into one of the many puddles that surrounded them. The man seemed to have righted himself once more and he simply stood before the sin for a moment, not moving an inch. Envy looked back up to the strangely familiar man, confused as to why he had not run, and was taken aback when he saw a hand in front of his face, offering to help him up. His gaze was locked on the offered hand for a moment more before he traveled back up to look directly at the man offering to help him up. He had a kind and caring smile on his face, and it almost took Envy's breath away. He looked back to the hand before him, speculating it silently for a moment more before hesitantly taking it and letting the other help him up. He was pulled up by him, stumbling only slightly when the blood settled in his head once more.
This could not be the Fullmetal-chibi-Alchemist that Envy knew. He would never show him this concern, kindness, or even smile anywhere near his direction. But this man seemed to be showing genuine emotion, and so Envy decided that the only way to get anywhere would be to trust him.
"Do you have anywhere to stay?" the strange man asked him so he could be heard over the still drizzling rain. Envy raised an eyebrow at this question, but he answered it without any biting comments, choosing to just shake his head. The strange blond smiled at this answer and promptly covered Envy with his umbrella, taking his arm lightly and leading him down the road slowly. Envy usually would draw away from anyone who did this and quickly punch them in the face, but he found that he was interested in this strange and familiar man.
"Well then, you can just stay with me!" He smiled brightly at the sin, not giving any room for argument. Envy almost drew back at this exclamation, not understanding at all how someone could be so decisive for themselves and others.
"You would take me into your home, without even a thought that I could be some sort of murderer, thief or criminal?" Envy asked, genuinely confused by the other man's logic. No one did these kinds of selfless acts of kindness anymore; everyone was only looking out for themselves and their possessions. No one would invite a complete stranger into their home unless they were truly idiotic. Envy would definitely know, as he had been around for a very long time, and he had a lot of first hand experience.
The blond man simply smiled at him softly in return and continued leading him down the road. He seemed to have either ignored his question or he was thinking it over profusely. He took his time thinking of the right answer, but eventually he looked back up to Envy, who was just slightly taller than himself, and smiled like he seemed to always do.
"If you had been a criminal or murderer, you wouldn't have looked so devastated and lost sitting in the fountain like that. You looked so utterly defeated and broken," He paused a moment, collecting his thoughts. "And if you really are a murderer or criminal, I guess I will find out the hard way if you don't tell me right out. But that's alright with me, because I'll know that I at least helped someone with some small part of their lives."
Envy stared at the other man as he spoke, intrigued by his answer. He had never really talked to humans like this before unless he was on a mission in a disguise or about to kill them for some reason or another, and he found that it was almost, dare he say it, nice. This man, whoever he was, was a very interesting human, and Envy knew that he had to have been related to Edward in some way or another. Maybe he wasn't as idiotic as Envy first thought, and maybe he really was just kind and selfless. They made it to a small flat in the city next to a tiny flower shop and the man let him inside, obviously not caring that Envy was still covered in mud and he would get everything dirty. They both stepped inside the small apartment and Envy looked around, seeing that it wasn't all that bad. He turned to face the strange man once more when he heard him hang up his coat and remove his boots. Envy would have done the same except for the fact that he was still in his normal outfit and had no shoes to speak of.
"Oh, I guess you'll want to get cleaned up, huh? Well don't worry about the carpet, I can clean the mud later. I'll show you to the shower!" He said before leading Envy to the bathroom and showed him how to work everything. He insisted that he would lend him some of his clothes so he wouldn't have to wear the same thing again after he was clean. He left, leaving Envy to bathe and the sin didn't know whether to be insulted by all of this, or eternally grateful. He stepped underneath the scalding hot water stream, sighing in relaxation as it beat mercilessly on his pale skin. He watched as the blood and earth circled down the drain and disappeared, the clinging streaks still holding onto his skin.
Envy wasn't one who took too many showers since he either never got dirty or just shifted his form so that he was clean once more. So, to the frazzled human-sin, the water running over him was oddly unfamiliar and yet very soothing. He then realized that since he had arrived, he hadn't tried to use his shifting power, and he found himself trying to force himself to remember how it was done. It used to be so easy; just think about who he was going to change into, and then he was set. Now, he shut his eyes tight and clenched his teeth and fists, but nothing happened. He had even stopped breathing, only realizing this once he felt his lungs about to burst and a headache had started blooming quickly in his temple. It was no use, because now he knew that he truly was an imitation of the human he was supposed to be. He was so close to mortality that his skin prickled in fear. He finished washing and turned off the stream of water, the only sounds were of the pipes creaking in the wall, the water spinning down the drain and the droplets sliding off of his skin to the floor below him.
"So, what is your name?" Envy's host asked the sin. They were now both sitting at the man's rectangular wooden table which had scattered papers and books all over the surface. Envy sat across from him, washed, dried and dressed in the unfamiliar clothes that he had been given. In Envy's opinion, they covered way too much skin, but there was nothing he could do about it, and he didn't feel the need to complain to someone he barely knew. He was given a long sleeved black button up shirt and some loose dress pants, and Envy vowed that as soon as he could he would go out and get some clothes for himself that he could actually feel right in.
Envy thought for a moment of possibly giving this man a fake name, but he decided against it quickly since he was who he was, no matter where he ended up. He also knew that if he gave this man a fake name, then he would have to answer to it at all times to anyone and everyone, and he seriously did not want to have to go through that.
"My name is Envy…" he paused a moment, staring intently at the tea mug in his hands, the liquid inside warming the cup and palms of his hands. "I don't know what to call you either, but you remind me of someone I know back home," he said with a small smirk, an image of the Fullmetal-chibi coming to mind once more. He realized now that this man's hair was way too short and he was too tall to be the alchemist that he knew, but he looked like he could be his brother.
"Really? How interesting! I hope it's someone that you get along with," He giggled softly behind his hand for a moment before realizing he forgot to answer Envy's question.
"Oh, and my name is Alfonse. Alfonse Heidrich. It's very nice to meet you Envy, even under the circumstances in which I found you."
Envy's eyes widened when he was told his host's name. Alfonse Heidrich. If his memory was still partially correct, he remembered that Fullmetal's little brother was named Alphonse, and their last name was Elric. It now made sense why his host looked so much like Edward, because this was supposed to be how his brother looked if he hadn't been stuck in that suit of armor. But how? Envy wasn't anywhere near Amestris anymore, so how could there be someone who looked exactly like Edward Elric's little brother? Envy tried to sort everything out in his cluttered mind and he had an idea, but it could only be proven if there was another Edward here as well. But he would have to find out about that later, since he didn't want to seem rude to his host.
"It's nice to meet you as well, Alfonse. I am very grateful to you for allowing me into your home, but I don't want to intrude on you or anyone else here." Envy said politely, carefully maneuvering in the question of anyone else living here.
"Oh, don't be silly! You aren't intruding at all! You said yourself that you didn't have anywhere else to go, and I'm just happy that I could help," He said with a bright smile that lit up his eyes. It faltered on his face though after a moment, looking down at his own tea mug before he continued. "You don't have to worry about bothering anyone else either. I live here by myself. I used to have my older brother here with me as well, but he…well he's gone now."
Envy tried to keep a hold on his excitement of hearing that there was an older brother since that would mean that his guess would be correct about this place. He didn't want to seem insensitive though, so he made sure to keep his emotions hidden.
"Oh? Where did he go?" Envy asked smoothly, twisting the cup in his hands round and round anxiously.
"He…" Alfonse faltered for a moment, looking back up to Envy, a bright smile on his face that seemed eerily misplaced at the moment. "He died a few years ago…" The smile was gone.
Envy's entire being shook in complete shock. The older brother was dead here; what in the world could that mean?
"I-I'm sorry… Wh-What was his name?" Envy asked, for once in his life truly feeling sorry for the death of someone. It was a very strange feeling, but he was hoping that he was wrong now and that it wasn't like another Elric brothers.
Alfonse sat stock still for a moment, almost trying to calculate what he should do before he reached behind his chair and turned back around with a picture frame in his hands. He looked down at it sadly for a moment before setting it on the surface of the table and sliding it towards Envy. As soon as it was in Envy's line of sight, he answered his question.
"His name was Eddward. He died when he was twelve years old. He saved my life and gave his instead." Alfonse said quietly, looking solemnly down at the old wood of the table. Envy's breath hitched in his throat as he stared down at the picture in front of him. There, in front of him, was a twelve year old version of the chibi-alchemist, his hair pulled back into a pony-tail and oil on his cheek as he was working on building some sort of machinery, a smile set firmly on his face. Envy believed that he couldn't look any happier if he tried, and it almost made him sad that this was the first time he had ever seen him this way. It was also ironic that it was a picture of a version of him that was dead that Envy finally saw him that way.
"We were finally starting to get ahead in our work on rockets and aircrafts when he died. There was a huge factory explosion where we helped out a year before his death and we were both caught in it. He saved me, but he was frequently in the hospital on and off for the rest of that year. He had gotten sick from the fumes that the building let off when it exploded and it attacked him from the inside out." Alfonse spoke very quietly and he didn't stray his gaze from the worn tabletop.
Envy didn't know what to do or say to that. It was basically the exact opposite of what happened to the Elric brothers. They way Envy heard it, Alphonse had died instead, but Edward kept his soul there. For that year that this Eddward was in the hospital was probably when the Edward in Amestris was without his limbs and getting automail. It was almost a reversed mirror lifestyle here of the way things were in Amestris. Envy was shocked and intrigued at how differently things played out, but he knew that he couldn't express this to anyone here, or else he'd be labeled as crazy for saying he was from an alternate universe.
"I'm really sorry…I wish I could have met him, if he was anything like you," Envy said softly, still staring at the familiar face in the photograph. He didn't exactly know what to think about the Fullmetal-chibi anymore. He was supposed to hate him, but he interested Envy greatly and he just wasn't sure what to think about this interest that he had taken to the alchemist. It clicked in his mind now why he allowed himself to trust Alfonse; it was only because he reminded him of the Fullmetal-chibi, and Envy suddenly felt hugely ashamed of himself for allowing human emotions to cloud his judgment.
"It's alright. He made me promise that I wouldn't be sad about it forever and to move on with my life," Alfonse smiled sadly as he took the picture back once Envy had slid it back across the table and he set it up on the window sill behind his chair once more. "I think he would have liked you though. I'm sure he would have actually."
Envy couldn't help but laugh inwardly at that, knowing full well that his relationship with the Fullmetal-chibi was far from friendly, but it also made him wonder if it ever really could have happened if their situations had differed even slightly.
"But no matter; I'm still trying to deal with it every day without my brother, but I manage perfectly fine. Why don't we focus on the now, yes?" Alfonse's smile had returned, taking a small sip of his tea absent-mindedly before setting it down again and looking directly at Envy. "Like, where are you from, and why did you come here?"
Envy didn't know where to begin explaining how he got there and where he was from. He knew he couldn't tell him the truth, no matter who he looked like or was distantly related to, he would most likely be thrown out for being crazy. Envy knew he was already being drastically out of character for even accepting this help from Alfonse, but it was all he had in this entire world, and he needed to have something. He decided that he would explain in the most uninformative and sane way he knew how. He would lie; at least partially.
"I'm from a country very far away from here, and truthfully, I was forced to come here," Envy paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "Actually, to tell you the truth, I don't even know where 'here' is. I'm quite lost really." Envy shrugged softly before taking a sip from his slightly cooled tea.
"Really? That's awful that you were forced! No wonder you looked so lost…" Alfonse shook his head softly. "Well, you're in Munich, Germany. I love it here, always have and always will! It's a really great place; I think you'll really like it!" Alfonse said with a smile, but he faltered a moment later. "Oh, well if you're lost, does that mean you aren't staying here? Are you just passing through?"
Envy thought for a moment, weighing his options. If he stayed here in, what was it, Munich, he could probably stay with Alfonse or at least have someone he knew here. If he left, he could start over completely if he wanted to. It also occurred to him that the gate's opening point had dropped him off right outside the city limits, and so if they were ever going to open it again on the other side, he would already be here so he could get back.
"I think I'm going to stay here at least for a little while. I definitely haven't had all that much time to look around properly yet, and I think you have helped me make my decision with all the good things you've had to say about it!" Envy said with a small smile of his own. "Of course, I don't really have anywhere to stay while I'm here, and I don't have any money, but I think I can manage…"
"Don't even think about it! You're staying here with me if you're in Munich, got it? And I bet I can help you get a job somewhere around town for some money of your own, but right now I can give you some money for some basics like clothes." Alfonse got up from the table, bringing his mug to the sink. "And I won't hear any protests from you! My word is final, you got that Envy?"
Envy was slightly taken aback, and he chuckled softly after he got over the small bit of shock from the other's words. He nodded happily, thanking Alfonse with a rare smile and he stood to bring his mug over as well. It was strange; ever since he got here with Alfonse, Envy didn't feel the other sins clawing at his gut and mind as strongly, and he could just live. He actually felt alive. Maybe this was what happiness felt like. Whatever it was, Envy decided that he liked it.