Hello people
I'm trying another oneshot so tell me how you like it .
Drip drip... The roof never ceases to splatter the continuous reminder of this season. The rain. I hate it, it reminds me of him. I left this very room last week and I'm starving. I can't seem to want to eat anymore and the old man at Ichiraku's seems to be getting worried about me but I don't deserve an ounce of food, it wouldn't taste the same.
It feels like yesterday that we played, battled and teased eachother, but not anymore.
It's been seven years since he left. Why was I so stupid? I should've taken a hint but even so.. It wasn't my fault.
Love is a stupid thing and I'm the fool that fell hard only to be disgraced in the eyes of my friends, the people around me and even myself. Pathetic, is what I am. No really I know. Don't make me feel otherwise because it's true.
I might blabber and you won't understand but let me take you down a trip to memory lane.
Seven years ago
I was running to the training fields to meet up with the team. Kakashi would obviously be late but I needed to see him. I knew the charade of loving Sakura was stupid but that's what my mind chose to believe. I couldn't be in love with him but still the beating of my heart when he's around tells me otherwise.
I saw the bridge and standing there was Sasuke and Sakura obviously waiting for Kakashi.
"Hey guys!" I greeted and waited along with them for our sensei.
He sat there in concentration and I couldn't take my eyes off of him. Every detail strongly elaborated its reason of being there during his time of focus. Sakura took his hand and started talking to him about their future together and as I expected, he ignored her.
I couldn't help but feel annoyed by the fact that never had she ceased her fawning mannerism.
A few minutes later Kakashi finally arrived and the rantings of his tardiness began.
"I'm sorry I had to help an old lady," he said with his sheepish grin.
We stared at him for a while, wondering if we should respond to him but shockingly no one did.
"Today you're gonna spar again.. Same opponent. Sakura, let's get going," he said moving to the other ground and leaving me with the bastard.
"Why you still staring at them dobe. It's time to spar..unless you're too scared," Sasuke said with the smirk plastered on.
"Nah.. Not of a teme like you!"
I charged towards him in an attempt to pin him down but he was too fast and dodged the attack.
Everything from that point on felt like an intimate touch. I felt all the jolts of electricity and maybe only I was feeling the passion.
As my mind wondered, I hit reality the moment I noticed that he had pinned me down and smirked.
We stayed in that position for some time. I looked into those onyx eyes and what I felt was love... No I can't love this bastard.. But..
"Teme get off me! You win,"
"Hn.. Accepted defeat so soon." he moved his face closer to mine,"Why do you seem uncomfortable dobe?"
He was teasing me. My breathing was heavy and not from the training anymore, still I had to come up with something.
"It's just a little hot.. Get off!" this time thankfully he complied.
I had to go home and I did before he could say anything to embarrass me even more.
All this continued for the next two months. We drifted apart because of my fear to admit my feelings but for him, I would do almost anything.
The next time we trained I decided to tell him how I felt about him. All I did was prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
I walked to him after the warm ups and felt that the time was right.
"Sasuke? I-I have something to tell you," I said with my head cast down.
"Hn?" he questioned.
"I think I'll bluntly state this but..." I couldn't tell him.
"Yes, just say it already,"
"I like you..alot!" I said the words so fast.
He looked at me and hadn't said a thing for a few minutes," I mean.. It's embarrassing but I love you a lot Sasuke,"
I looked away in shame and dreadfully waited for his response. A few minutes of silence passed until I couldn't take the silence.
"Lets get back to sparing then," I told him with my grin plastered back on but in reality I was broken.
I didn't even know how it happened but I was sprawled on the ground with two digits in my entrance and a hungry kiss being administered.
I was sprawled on the grass heavily panting with his body fixed between my thighs. His gaze hungrily scanning my body.
He spread my ass wide to look at my hole that begged to engulf him.
"Naruto," he lowly mumbled before quickly thrusting into me with no preparation whatsoever.
To say it hurt was an understatement, but maybe he loved me as much as I did him.
Without a word he began to thrust in and out of me. I screamed in pain as I realised that a liquid was oozing out of my hole and Sasuke hadn't come yet.. I was bleeding and everything hurt.
"S-Sasuke you're hurting me," I said feeling the heat of my tears trail down my face.
"So?" he scoffed.
My words died before I could voice them. He didn't give a damn about how I felt. He thrust in a few more times and reached his completion.
"I l-love you! And you don't even give a damn!"
"Naruto.. I could never love you," he said as he quickly clothed himself.
"We just made love! You can't say it meant nothing," I said my voice cracking a bit.
He glared at me and scoffed.
"We had sex, not made love.. Can't you tell the difference? I didn't give a damn how you felt. I was just seeking relief and you offered me sex. We were never bestfriends because I never cared for you to begin with," he said walking away,"don't be oblivious to everything Naruto.. Know a charade when you see one.. Love a monster like you."
He left. That was the last time we ever spoke to eachother. He never loved me. And It just hit me now. He didn't wait for me to climax, he never held me close. I was just a whore to find relief in.
The rain started its downpour making the scenery seem befitting of my mood.
I stood and quickly dressed up. My life would never feel the same. My optimism was stained.
I quickly ran home to wash away my pain with a bottle of sake and later on blacked out.
The months that past were full of hell. Never have I felt the hatred of the villagers have this much impact.
They sneered and scoffed when I walked past them. Even my closest friends abandoned me. I was completely alone, just as I began. All this because of the publicizing of the Uchiha scandal. I was shunned and I guess things don't change.
Why I hate the rain? You know now. I feel like a fool knowing that even after 7 years, I love him so much. I stuck the kunai into the vein of my wrist. Don't judge me. I tried all I could to shut the cheering of Sasuke and Sakura's wedding out, but I can't.
I dug the kunai deeper. Maybe this is how it should end. I don't need any others love apart from his. I drove the kunai into my chest and awaited the consuming miracle known as death to free me.
"I love you... Sasuke,"
Thank you for reading and please comment and favourite.