After reading other (better) stories about Vince and Howard as children, I quite fancied a go myself :D
Set before the series one, leading up to how they ended up working their together. This is the first time i've started to post a story before i've finished writing it or atleast planned it to the end, so God know's how it will end up.
Disclaimer: Still don't own :(
"Mum, mum!"
"What is it, darling?"
"Who's that?"
"That's Nick and Cheryl's foster child."
"What's a foster child?"
"Ummm, they're just looking after him for a while, until his mum wants him back."
"Why doesn't his mum want him now?"
"Oh, there may be lots of reasons."
"It's sad that his mum doesn't want him."
"Well, why don't you go and cheer him up? Go over and ask him to play."
"But he'll say no." the boy said quietly, dropping his head "No one ever wants to play with me."
"Rubbish. I bet you're really popular in school."
"No." the boy shook his head. "I think it's this moustache, they all call me Tom Selleck."
"Well, I'm sure they're not trying to be horrible."
"They also steal my pocket money, my snack and that big kid, Donny, he ripped my homework up."
"In that case it would be nice if you went over and said hello. I'm sure he'll be grateful to have a nice friend like you to play with."
"Okay." grinned the boy, running to put on his favourite hat and walking across the street, carefully looking both ways and both ways again (even though they lived in a cul-de-sac and there were never any cars). He bounded across the road went to knock on the door.
A rather stressed looking, thirty-something woman answered the door.
"Oh, Hello Howard." she smiled, blowing upwards to move her fringe out of her eyes. "How are you?"
"I'm fine." Howard mumbled "I was wondering if your new foster child would like to come and play with me."
"Oh what a lovely idea. Vincent!" she called.
"What?" came the rather rude reply.
"Howard's here."
"Who the hell is Howard?"
"He's your age and lives across the road. I think you'll be good friends. Why don't you come here and meet him?"
Howard heard the stamping of small feet and then a small boy peered around the woman's side. Cheryl had said they were the same age so this boy must have been ten but he was so small that he looked more like six. The boy had short mousy hair, massive bright blue eyes, a perfectly straight, if rather large, nose and sharp protruding cheekbones. Howard couldn't help but feel that this boys head was too small for his features, but he wasn't ugly. Anyone would tell you there was definitely something about this boy, he had a certain charm that Howard so desperately lacked and Howard liked him, until…
Vince burst into laughter.
"What the hell is that?" he chortled, pointing at Howard's moustache.
"Don't point, Vincent!" warned Cheryl.
"It's Vince." growled the boy "And I'll point if I want too." Vince returned to looking at Howard and smirked
"What you got a caterpillar on your face for?". Howard didn't answer but he could feel himself growing uncomfortable. He knew the rejection that he had feared was coming. Any second now Vince would say he didn't want to hang around with someone who looked like Tom Selleck.
But, to Howard's surprise, Vince stepped out from behind Cheryl, showing off a pair of scuffed black cowboy boots, a grubby white vest and a pair of jeans with a hole in one knee.
"Where we going then Howard?" he asked. Cheryl breathed a sigh of relief and practically pushed Vince out of the door, saying
"Right then, have fun. Be back before tea."
"I'll be back when I want." scowled Vince as the door shut behind him. He turned back to Howard and said "Well?"
"Well, what?" Howard asked nervously.
"Well, where are we going?"
"Umm, wherever you want."
"I was hoping you'd say that" smirked Vince "I fancy some chocolate. You got any money?"
"No, but I could go and get some."
"Nah, it's alright. I'll nick it."
"W-what?" stammered Howard.
"Oh calm down. No one will ever know."
"I'll know."
"You're not going to tell people, are you?"
"W-well, no but…"
"That's okay then." grinned Vince "Come on Harold, let's go."
"It's Howard actually."
"Whatever."
--
"You sure you don't want one?" Vince asked offering the packet of Maltesers to Howard.
"I'm sure." Howard replied. He was sat on the bench wringing his hands nervously.
"Oh chill out." Vince laughed "Anyone would think you were three not ten. Well, actually, they'd probably think you were thirty. What is going on with that moustache?"
"I've had it since I was born" Howard shrugged "Mum says it gives me character."
"In that case you're mums an idiot."
"She's not."
"Awwwww, ickle Howard getting all protective over his mummy."
"Shur'up"
"Oh you're so easy to wind up." laughed Vince, placing a Malteser in the other boys hand.
"I don't want it."
"Just eat it. It tastes amazing, food that's nicked always does."
"Shhhhh. Don't say that, people might hear you."
"There's no one around." Vince laughed, indicating the empty park. "Just eat the damn chocolate."
Howard stared at the chocolate for a long while. "Right," Vince said angrily "Either eat it, or give it back. I don't just share my chocolate with anyone and nobody wastes it" Howard looked up into those persuasive blue eyes and popped the Malteser in his mouth. "How's it taste?"
"Mmmm, good."
"Told ya!" Vince grinned proudly.
"How come you're living with Cheryl and Nick then?"
"My mum's a whore."
"A what?"
"A whore."
"What's that?"
"It's a woman who…" and then, seeing an opportunity, Vince smirked and said "It's a woman who is lovely and kind and sweet. I bet your mum's a whore."
"Oh yes, she is. She's the biggest whore in the world." Howard beamed back.