THE WATERBOTTLE
a.k.a. Yet Another Way to Die in Band.
First it was The Reed. Then it was The Flute Stand. Then it was The Chairs. And now... it's THE WATERBOTTLE... Twilight Zone theme plays in background
I think I need to get a life.
Inspired by a true story
It was another nice, happy day in band practice. Some guy from outside had come to tutor the brasses, so the woodwinds were all kicked out of the main band room and made to squeeze into a tiny sectional room. Due to the extreme difficulty of getting chairs, stands, instruments and people all into the tiny room, latecomers were made to take numbers and await their turn to enter.
Finally, after a long time, everyone was inside. The conductor managed to squeeze in too, through the execution of several really impressive acrobatic maneouvres that are not, but should be, taught in band. After all, some band members are aspiring conductors, and you never know when such skills might come in useful. Like in this case.
Back on topic. The woodwinds picked up their instruments and sat down. The oboist's waterbottle was on the ground. Ooh, that rhymes. Anyway, they started playing, when one of the clarinetists squished next to the oboist had the sudden, unexplainable urge to go to the toilet.
She stood up, preparing herself for the perilous journey out of the tiny sectional room, knowing full well the dangers that lay ahead.
Unfortunately, she failed to see the danger closest to her. Her right foot lifted to take a step... and she tripped on the oboist's waterbottle.
She fell.
The oboe reed speared her, and the oboist swears to have had nothing to do with it.
She died.
So the rest of the band practice was spent debating on how best to get the corpse out of the tiny sectional room.
Unnoticed by everyone else, the waterbottle gave an evil grin. And it laughed. "MUAHAHAHAHA!"
THE END
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