Second Chance
Adam woke up early each morning, even if only for a few moments. This morning was no exception, and each morning was always the same. He would remember with loathing the two days he had spent in that room – that dirty, disgusting room – in the dark.
"Are you going to watch yourself die today, Adam? Or do something about it?"
That voice that spoke of his impending demise would forever be seared into his memory, as were the words that he didn't understand or even bother to contemplate until he was cloaked in darkness.
He now understood the irony of the killer's message. He had lurked in the shadows all his life. The days, the weeks, the years unfolded before him like a movie that he wasn't part of. The camera rolled onward, and he had assumed the role of a passive spectator.
"Are you going to watch yourself die today?"
He feared he would, sitting helplessly in the dark as the clock on the wall ticked ever onward. He knew he was dying.
He could feel it.
"You might be in the room that you die in."
But the man he had betrayed – and even angered on several occasions – hadn't forgotten about him or the promise he had made.
Just when he believed all hope was lost, the door opened and the light blinded him.
And he was saved.
He was grateful even though he still wasn't sure he deserved all he had been given. He had so frivolously lived, without purpose or direction, for the past twenty-eight years of his life.
But the good doctor saw something in him that he had never seen in himself.
Life.
"What do voyeurs see when they look into the mirror?"
Looking back, in light of all he had learned, he had deciphered the killer's riddle.
Nothing.
But it wasn't that way anymore. No, life was much different these days. He had given up spying and now took photographs only of the beauty he saw everyday that he hadn't noticed before – flowers, children, the ocean, Lawrence.
Yes, Lawrence.
He had known Lawrence before Lawrence knew him.
Watching him had never been overly exciting. He only took the job because it paid well and he was tired of going hungry. He viewed Lawrence as a dirty, sneaky liar, but he didn't care. After all, he was being paid to capture such moments, and just as with every other subject he had followed, he felt nothing for him.
He smiled as he lay awake in bed. The irony was overwhelming.
Lawrence stirred in his sleep and Adam looked to him in wonder. He had never told Lawrence that he watched him as he slept. Adam was sure he wouldn't mind, but those were his private and beautiful moments, and it was the extent of his voyeurism these days.
There was so much about them that had never been expressed in words, it was simply understood. A mutual knowledge of each other. Adam looked to Lawrence to stay grounded, just as he had when they had played their game that brought them together. Lawrence nurtured him and loved him in a way no one else ever had, not even his own father.
He loved watching Lawrence as he slept.
"Are you going to watch yourself die today?"
Adam smiled. No, he hadn't watched himself die that day. He had lost nothing, because he had nothing – and gained everything.
He didn't die because he was already dead, and he had been given life that day.
All he had ever wanted, and all he would ever need, was sleeping peacefully beside him.