Author's Note:
This is a Modern A/U between a Male Shepard and Miranda that was inspired by Maroon 5 - She will be Loved. This was something that came to me and I just had to get it written down. It currently is a stand alone piece, although it has great potential in evolving into a full fledged story, however, given that I am currently working on Ghost of Me, this will take the back seat. Although, if I get enough demand, I may consider working on both.
Please read and review and let me know your thoughts. Thanks!
She Will Be Loved
Tap. Tap.
The sudden noise startled John into a more alert state, making him groan as he realized what it meant. Groggily, he glanced at his bedside clock. The blue illuminating digits signaled the late or early hour – depending on how you interpreted it. For John, it was definitely late. 3:30 in the morning late. Especially for someone that had just gotten home and slugged off into bed no more than a half hour ago.
Tap. Tap.
The noise persisted once more. He's sensible half demanded he ignore it and enjoy his wondrous bed that he had not seen for nearly 24 hours, but he's other half thrilled at the implications. He idly weighed his options. If he got up now, he wouldn't have to face the repercussions of ignoring the sound. If he didn't, he would have a more restful mind to guard and protect himself when the repercussions occur. Hmm, it seemed no matter which way, he was going to have to face her sooner or later. He lazily wondered why he was even debating with himself: he always got up when that noise sounded.
Tap. Tap.
The noise increased in volume and urgency. Fantastic. He begrudgingly thought. Now, he was going to have to endure an annoyed lecture now. Groaning, he snapped his bed covers off of his half naked body. His body chilled momentarily as the coldness of the room reached him. Shaking off the shiver, John sleepily padded over to his balcony window and slid it open for his late night guest. He automatically moved to the right as a sudden, agitated blur stampeded inside.
"Can you believe this?" His guest exclaimed in frustration as she stormed in.
"Come in." John tiredly yawned out to his screen door before sliding it shut.
"It's already been five days and that woman is trying to control everything!" John's brunette guest snarled out as she began pacing back and forth in his bedroom. "And why didn't you answer me?! Do you know how bloody cold it is tonight?" The woman demanded as her aggravation targeted him.
"Hi, Miri." John mumbled as he stumbled back to bed. He really didn't have the energy to disagree with her tonight. "What's up?" He yawned out before lightly shaking his head to invigorate himself more fully. These late night visits from Miranda were not meant to be taken lightly.
"Virginia! She wants the bloody thing to be in Virginia." Miranda continued to seethe as she paced back and forth in front of John.
John squinted into the dark, trying to follow her darkened outline. Miranda was clearly angered; her fists were clenched in defiance and the raw emotion of it was streaming off of her in waves. In his sleepy state, he was still unsure on what exactly she was talking about. It usually was this way. So the only thing he could do was latch onto some piece of information she had said and turn it into an appropriate question so that his mind could catch up to what she was talking about.
"What's wrong with Virginia?" John asked.
Miranda stopped dead in her pacing and glared at him; John instantly realized that was the wrong question to ask.
"What's wrong? What's wrong?" John could have sworn he saw heat steaming out of her ears, but blamed his tired state of mind for its rampant imagination. "EVERYTHING!" Miranda nearly shouted. "Why the bloody hell do I want to have the wedding in Virginia?"
Ah. The subject finally clicked in John's brain. The wedding. Miranda's wedding. He sighed, feeling suddenly very tired about everything. He really did not want to talk about this, but as he watched Miranda fume, he relented to comfort her as he noticed the insecurity and vulnerability in her eyes; he couldn't help it – he never could.
"Isn't most of the guests from Virginia? It makes sense to go there." John attempted to reason with his best friend before she imploded from stress.
Miranda unleashed a very unladylike snort and followed it up with the glare. "I am not going to inconvenience my friends for one woman's request!"
John scratched the back of his neck, trying to figure out another tactic to work with Miranda. After all, she had given him that glare and as always, he could read her expressions like a book. She had many glares in her arsenal and John had become finely attune to each and every one of them over the many, many, years they had known each other. After all, he was her best friend.
In any case, he had just received the glare that demanded the presence of John-my-best-friend-in-the-whole-universe-that-loves-me-to-death-and-beyond-so-you-better-side-with-me-or-face-my-wrath, not the presence of John-my-best-friend-in-the-whole-universe-that-loves-me-but-seriously-needs-to-be-my-rational-half-since-mine-decided-to-vacate-the-premises.
And as such, John was forced to keep his sensible opinion to himself and agree with everything she practically said until she herself returned to reason and logic. That meant he had to resist the retort of spouting out that that one woman that was hell-bent on having the wedding in Virginia was going to be her future mother-in-law, so it was best to placate her to her every whim. Instead, he was forced into silence as he Miranda returned to her venting.
"Do you realize how far Virginia is? How much our friends are going to have to pay to attend? Or how much the room and board will cost? And all this because the woman's family – which I have never met, nor has Jacob seen since he was practically three – wish to attend?" She growled out in exasperation at the entire notion.
"You might as well say that you want the wedding in Australia." John threw out, even though he knew that the comment was completely irrational. Miranda hadn't been back in Australia for nearly a decade and she hated that God-awful place due to her father. Not to mention, as well, the little fact that Virginia was about a three hour drive from where they lived. He opted to refrain from mentioning any of those reasons.
"Precisely!" Miranda threw up her hands in frustration. "She's barking mad! And Jacob is no help!" Her demeanor tensed further at the mention of her fiancée and she continued to trail a line in John's bedroom floor.
Ugh. Jacob. John forced his face to remain neutral at the sound of the man's name, but he could not help the honest opinion he had for said man to slip out. "He's an idiot." He gruffed out in his sleepy voice.
"Yes! A complete idiot!" Miranda snapped in agreement even though John knew she didn't mean it. John mentally groaned. Despite his own reservations against the guy, John knew better than to ostracize him; he apparently made Miranda happy and that was what really mattered to John; Miranda's happiness.
"Have you talked to him about this?" John slurred out, resisting the urge to rub his sleepy eyes.
"I have! He agrees completely with his mother and stated that I'm being unreasonable! I told him in the beginning that I wanted it small! I did not want a guest list of 400 people!"
"I know. You'll like it small, just your close friends and Oriana." John mused aloud. He also knew that Miranda much prefer a quiet ceremony instead of the lavish ordeal that Jacob and his mother had made it become.
"Exactly! I compromised the guest list because he wanted it! And he won't even budge an inch on having the wedding here!" She ground her teeth and John disregarded his urge to hug her; she wouldn't exactly appreciate that in the middle of her rant. She suddenly stopped her pacing and turned to face him. "Do you think I'm being unreasonable?" She asked in a more subdued tone.
John let loose a small exhale as he rubbed a hand through his mussed dark brown hair. "No, Miri." He told her honestly, but that was the extent of it; he wasn't exactly thrilled about this whole occasion. John, again, resisted the urge to spout another reasonable cliché: if you love the man, you have to compromise since you're spending the rest of your life with him. He may have not said it due to his own personal reasons, but it coincided with his best friend's views at the moment – he was willing to make sacrifices.
"Who ever said that you need a big wedding to start off marriage, anyway?" Miranda wrapped her arms around herself, and John suddenly realized how small she looked when she did that. "God, I can't believe I'm even doing this…marriage…I never would have thought about it…but…it's the next step right? In a relationship?" She may have been talking to him, but John had an inkling feeling that she was speaking to herself.
John instantly frowned as her heard the hesitation and uncertainty in Miranda's voice. He really hoped she wasn't doing this because it was "the next step." Many people believed that Miranda had commitment issues (he never had a problem with her; they were always there for one another), but it was really because she overthought things down to its very essence. She wanted to be sure and she wanted to have the best. It was how she was raised. John had assumed that much when she had accepted Jacob's proposal so quickly; she must have thought it through. He also assumed that she finally found the happiness that she so readily deserved. If she was happy, then he was happy. However, this sudden hesitation caught him off guard…and perhaps gave him some (dare he say it?) hope.
"Do you love him, Miri?" John quietly asked, knowing that it was no longer the time to play the best friend, but the reasonable best friend. It was Miranda's happiness on the line, and John was never willing to sacrifice it.
"Jacob is kind and secure. He would never hurt me, John. He's not like the others. And…he wants me to be happy; not many people want that for me." Miranda hastily replied.
I do. John bitterly thought, but slapped that part of him aside. It wasn't the time to be bitter. Miranda made her choice…and he wasn't even in her peripheral.
"That's not what I asked, Miranda." John shifted in his seat, trying to see her better in the darkness.
"I…" Her voice trailed off, making John wonder the source of all this sudden insecurity.
"That's always a good sign…" He grumbled out, hoping that his gut wasn't right: that Miranda was really marrying Jacob because it was "the next step."
"Stop that." Miranda puffed out in humiliation and irritation. "It's just weird saying it in front of you." She defended, but something in her tone made John not believe her.
"It's not hard, Miri. Just say it. Do you love him?" God, why did he always have to be such a good friend? How long was he going to have to endure this? He glanced over at his clock, wishing he was asleep instead of having to endure this torture. His gaze flickered back to Miranda, watching her steadily.
"I…" She made an exasperated noise. "Stop looking at me like that; its making me nervous."
"Oh, God, woman!" John tsked out. "Just say it already."
"What's the point of this nonsense? I agreed to marry him, isn't that enough?" She snapped out at him.
No. John's brain and heart immediately replied. She was getting riled up again and that didn't bode well. He would allow it to drop, but hoped, for her sake, that it was really out of embarrassment that she couldn't say it, which, he realized, was understandable as Miranda was hard-pressed to really open up or trust anyone at all. However, when she did trust someone, she was fiercely protective and contributed an undying loyalty that not many could find anymore. It was one of the many attributes that he adored about her.
He continued to watch her squirm underneath his gaze and decided to grant her mercy…and faith. He trusted her judgment, even if he didn't agree with it sometimes. "Fine, Miri. As long as you know it, then I guess you don't have to say it aloud." He shrugged. "But, there you go. Problem solved. You love him. The wedding can go on." He felt more drained than ever and began to shift backwards onto his bed so that he was lying down against his headboard.
"But he wants the wedding in Virginia!" Miranda complained once more, making John roll his eyes. This was not going to go anywhere tonight.
He adjusted himself inside his covers, ignoring how Miranda began to pace once more. Once he was inside his covers, he rubbed his tired face briefly before snuggling deeper into his bed. It was too late to continue this conversation; it was obvious that it was not going to be solved tonight. Usually, John was relatively a good listener and attentive to Miranda's needs, but honestly, he was tired of this. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. John was no stranger to being tired. He was used to the late and long shifts he had to endure as a firefighter, such as the one he had just returned from about a half hour…no, make that an hour ago now.
John stifled a yawn and sank back into his bed, dropping his head onto the goose-feathered pillow Miranda had gifted him for his birthday last year. It was so comfy. He shifted once more until he was lying on his stomach and his head was engrossed in his pillow.
"Are you even listening?" Miranda finally questioned after hearing him adjust and eyed the back of his head with ire.
"Mmmhmm…" John muttered out and then padded the empty spot next to him as he closed his eyes. "Come here…easier to talk when you're not pacing and shouting." He mumbled into his pillow.
He heard her exasperated sigh, followed by two small ker-plunk sounds of her shoes falling onto the floor and the removal of the covers before it was slapped back into place. He allowed a triumphant smirk to appear when he felt the bed dip as she slipped into the bed.
"Did you just come back from your shift?" Miranda' hostile tone had subsided into a quiet worry.
"Mmmhmm…" John distractedly replied as he fought off sleep. He felt Miranda shift closer, making him catch a whiff of her shampoo. His senses were overridden by her and he desperately fought to keep his emotions and body in check as he felt her warm breath graze him as she spoke to him.
Normally he could control himself around Miranda; he'd been doing it for years, but lately, he noticed once more that he was becoming so tired. He already knew it wasn't because of the physical demands from his work; he'd been doing that for almost three years. No, it was the emotional demands that he was facing, especially the news of Miranda's engagement with Jacob. John was finally feeling the toll of being just the best friend.
Yes, he would admit it to himself. He was in love with Miranda Lawson. She was the epitome of perfection; brains, beauty, and a smart mouth to match that fiery temper of hers – oh yes, she had quite a temper – that balanced out the loving, compassionate side of her.
And he was unequivocally in love with her. He had been since the moment he saw her. And yet, she had never even considered him as a prospect. He was the classic unrequited best friend, who was doomed to moon after the girl for the rest of his life. It was sadly pathetic.
"I'm sorry." Miranda's breath tickled his nose and he could sense that she shifted closer to him.
"S'okay." John forced his body to remain relaxed as he shifted to his side to face her properly. "You know I'm here for you." He assured her as he opened his sleepy blue-green eyes at her.
"I know. You're always here for me." Miranda whispered, sending a shiver down John's spine as he suddenly realized how close Miranda was. She snuggled up against him and he desperately hoped that she couldn't hear the marathon his heart was undergoing. She tucked her head under his chin and wrapped her arms around his waist, drawing herself closer – it was a familiar thing they had always done when they were kids. It was innocent; a reassuring gesture of a human connection for Miranda. Unfortunately for John, it was hard for him to keep innocent thoughts whenever she did that.
"Can I stay the night?" Miranda quietly inquired. The insecure and vulnerable tone in her voice returned and it instantly shook the not-so-innocent thoughts away for John and caused his protective side to kick in. Concern etched itself in his mind. Why did she sound that way?
"Always." He assured her again.
"Thanks." She muttered under his neck, causing his skin to form goosebumps.
"Mmhmm." He muttered as he felt her relax in his arms and allowed his eyes to drift close from the comfort he suddenly felt. He nearly drifted off into sleep when he heard her whisper.
"John?"
"Hmm?" He groggily replied.
"I...I love you."
It amused John on the irony of his situation. She could so easily admit to him her love, and yet she would shy away from voicing her affection for Jacob. He thought it was quite silly, especially since Miranda was never one to shy away from much. Anyways, he sleepily thought, it was probably due to the fact that they had known each other since they were kids; they endured and overcame much together, so it was only natural that you love one another.
He knew Miranda loved him; they were best friends after all. However, the only difference for him was that when he uttered those words, it came from the depths of his heart and beyond, and would never be accepted beyond the bounds of friendship. It saddened him, but he took what he could get. After all, love was all about sacrifices, and he would keep making them as long as she was happy.
John let out a quiet sigh and an equally quiet confession that the recipient would never grasp or comprehend the true magnitude of. However, in his sleepy state, he never realized the tightening hold around his waist or the quicken breath of his bedmate when he uttered his expression of love to her.
"I love you too, Miri."