Wrote this for my one-year anniversary of fic writing!
Partner fic to "The Lesson," which is in my profile. I'd read that one first if I were you.
Told from Volkner's point of view instead of Flint's.
Update: this fanfic now has fanart, and it's amazing! Look: antidurian . tumblr
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/post/139353694927/from-this-loved-it-to-bits-so-my-hand-slipped-i
(Sorry to split up the link like that, but ffnet's being finicky.)
It wasn't a crush. Not really, Volkner reasoned. It was just that certain things about Flint had started to...interest him. That was all.
Ever since puberty had hit for the two of them, Volkner had started noticing certain things about his friend. For example, whenever he was assigned to sit behind Flint during class, he noticed how his back muscles and shoulder blades flexed and shifted under his shirt while he took notes. Volkner took note of the slight amount of muscle tone in his friend's arms that had filled out when he started working out a bit. Flint still lamented the fact that none of the girls seemed to notice the changes.
But Volkner noticed.
Flint started wearing cologne one day in an attempt to "impress the ladies," as he put it. He used too much. They didn't react. Flint pouted.
But Volkner noticed.
One day, when Volkner's father was driving them on a day trip, they'd been listening to the radio and singing along as they so often did. That day, Flint could suddenly hit the low pitches of the male singers—unlike Volkner, who could still only match them when they used falsetto. Flint was proud of his new, "sexy" voice and bragged about it to their other friends, who apparently hadn't heard the change and remained unimpressed.
But Volkner had noticed, and what he heard...interested him somehow.
Of course, not all of it was intriguing; some of the changes were just funny, like Flint's attempt at growing a beard. It just made his chin look a little reddish until he gave up and shaved it with no small amount of disappointment, whining to Volkner later than not one single person had noticed.
Flint was wrong, of course. Someone had noticed. It just wasn't who Flint had been expecting.
All of these things had been adding up for Volkner, resulting in a strange...curiosity, of sorts. He found himself wondering about the different parts of Flint's body that were flaunted when he walked. Flint's voice—so new, yet still the same comforting tone he'd reserved for Volkner since they were kids—relaxed him, and he found himself enjoying Flint's enthusiastic rants more than ever before just because he could listen to the smooth tenor it had evolved into.
"But I don't wanna go to bed."
Volkner's musings were interrupted not by Flint's voice, but by the hoarse, higher pitch of his younger brother. He'd been spacing out again...
"Buck, you can't even keep your eyes open, and it's past nine. You know your bedtime is supposed to be eight. Do you want grandpa to get mad again?"
Volkner smiled as the brothers bickered. Being an only child, he enjoyed seeing the repartee between the two siblings. After a bit more arguing, he took pity on Flint and stepped in.
"You know, Buck, it's Friday night. The sooner you go to bed, the sooner you can wake up and watch cartoons tomorrow morning." Volkner smiled when the boy's eyes lit up.
"Yeah, you're right! I never thought of that!" With that, Buck hurried upstairs with his Eevee in his arms, and Flint did his best to keep up.
With that, Volkner got to work. It had gotten a bit warm, so he took off his jacket and laid it over the back of the couch. The coat was partly a security blanket for him, but he felt comfortable taking it off when it was just him and Flint. As his Jolteon and Flint's Flareon retreated to the corner to snuggle in for bed together as they always did, Volkner picked out their next game from the sizable stack next to the couch. He'd had enough of the infuriating, luck-based shenanigans of Mario Party. He saw Flint's approaching figure from his right and heard the tired flump and deep sigh next to him, and he laughed as Flint spread his limbs all over the couch.
"How come he always listens to you?"
Volkner smiled pityingly at the plaintive whine. "You just have to learn to speak his language, Flint. Kids love cartoons."
"Yeah, yeah." Flint waved him off. "Thanks for helping me babysit, though. Buck really does do better with you around, especially with his math homework."
Volkner smirked proudly. He always felt a sense of warmth when he was included in Flint's family. "And YOU do better with YOUR math homework, too."
"Don't rub it in, I was complimenting you." Volkner found himself appreciating Flint's smile for a little too long. "I'm just glad you came over."
"I mean, how could I stay away? You guys have the best video games," Volkner said, turning off Mario Party. "Mind if we switch to this one?" he asked, holding up Flint's copy of Final Fantasy X.
"Good idea. I think we've had enough rage for one night," he admitted. Volkner laughed in relief, and Flint joined him. With that, Volkner started up the game, and their routine began.
This sort of strategizing was easy for Volkner, so he allowed his mind to wander. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Flint concentrating hard on the game. He was sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, a habit he'd had since childhood. Volkner allowed himself a small smile at the cute behavior. He thought Flint's little mannerisms were endearing, like how he talked to his Pokémon even when he knew they couldn't talk back, or how he always made sure to tuck his younger brother in for bed, and it bothered him that no one else understood the softer side of the fiery teenager.
Well, almost no one. Volkner fell back into his thoughts as he remembered the one time someone else had noticed Flint.
Volkner liked Flannery. He'd liked her a lot, actually. When Flint was debating whether or not to ask her out, Volkner had been the one to encourage him. He had been positive that the two fire specialists would hit it off, and it was a shock for him when they didn't. Their relationship lasted a mere three weeks. Luckily, Flint hadn't been too torn up over it. He'd quickly moved on, and Flannery had seemed more irritated than sad. Their relationship had accomplished one thing, however. It had increased Volkner's curiosity.
Volkner didn't get jealous. It wasn't his thing. He'd never been one to expend energy over something so trivial. Besides, he didn't have a crush on Flint. When Flint and Flannery held hands, it piqued his interest because he wondered what it would be like to hold hands—not with her, but with his friend. That wasn't envy. Not really. Whenever Flint put his arm around her, he bore no ill will. He just wondered what it would be like to feel Flint's arms around him instead, which wasn't jealousy. It was normal. That one time when he'd accidentally come across them kissing, his blood hadn't boiled. The feeling he'd had wasn't possessiveness, just a curiosity about what it'd be like to feel Flint's lips on his.
In fact, Volkner hadn't thought much of it at all until he'd gone about his regular routine the day after that—or attempted to, at least. It was arguably the worst job he'd ever done on his chores, and his father had made that clear. Not that he'd had to. Volkner knew he'd messed up when he accidentally burned a hole through his nice dress shirt while ironing it because he was too busy wondering what it would feel like to kiss Flint. To add insult to injury, he'd also accidentally zapped himself while wiring a model RC car he'd been building. He'd been building little gadgets since he was nine years old, so he normally knew better than to leave his finger in the wrong spot when charging them. The only reason it had been a problem was because he was too distracted thinking about how Flint's hands would feel on his body.
With that, Volkner finally figured out what his interest was indicating. He knew he'd be unsatisfied until he could work things out manually, maybe by some sort of practical test with Flint—but he'd held back proposing anything of the sort because of Flint's relationship with Flannery.
Now, however, Flint was single, and that brought him to where he was now.
"Have Yuna heal Tidus, then have him strike with his Caladbolg. He'll do more damage when he's at full health, and you can take down the boss in one shot."
Flint made an impressed noise at the strategy, and the battle was over in no time. The storyline continued a bit, and then the screen went black for a cutscene. Volkner relaxed into the couch and snorted in amusement when Flint squeaked and sat up in excitement.
The topic of the cutscene, however, took him by surprise. Once the graphics intensified and Flint gasped, Volkner's eyebrows rose. He hadn't been expecting a kiss scene. Sure, the two characters had chemistry, but video games rarely went all out like this. As the two characters embraced and locked lips, though, something occurred to him.
This was it.
He was sitting home alone together with Flint. Buck was in bed, and Flint's grandpa wasn't due home for another two hours. Even their Pokémon were asleep. The room was dark, the mood was right, they were watching a romantic scene...this was the perfect time to ask. Volkner would never have a better chance than this. With that said, Volkner steeled himself and swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat when the screen faded back to the main gameplay.
"Flint?" Volkner mentally patted himself on the back for not allowing his voice to shake.
At the sound of Volkner's voice, Flint jumped. "Oh, right! Ha! I kind of have to move now, don't I? Let me—"
"No, that's not it," Volkner cut off, purposely preventing him from progressing in the game. "I just...wanted to ask you something."
Flint paused the game and put his controller down so he could give him his full attention. Volkner took a deep breath and tentatively asked, "Promise you won't laugh or tell anyone about this, okay?"
Mercifully, Flint just nodded instead of teasing him like he usually would. "Yeah. What is it?"
"Um..." Volkner scratched the back of his neck, and then he finally managed to meet and hold Flint's gaze. "What's it like to kiss someone?"
Not exactly the question he had, but it was related, and it was probably a better approach than 'I notice you a lot and it's not a crush but I sort of want to kiss and touch you.'
Flint's eyes widened comically. "Ah...what...what do you mean, what is it like?"
"What does it feel like, I mean," he clarified, trying to sound casual. He secretly wished he'd kept his jacket on; he could have used a little security right now.
Flint gave a wry smile. "Is that all? You had me worried!" He scratched his chin and looked at the ceiling. "Honestly? It's...not even that great. People make it out to be a huge deal and everything, but it's just kind of...wet. And mushy," he added, his face twisting a bit.
Volkner chuckled softly. "Oh, okay. So I'm not missing much."
"Yeah, not really." Flint shrugged. "Why, were you worried? We're only fourteen. It's not the end of the world if you haven't yet."
Volkner sighed. "Good. I always feel like I'm the only one. Ever since you said you and Flannery got to that point, I've felt kind of behind," he admitted, conveniently leaving out that he'd spotted the two of them doing so himself.
"Nah, you're fine." Flint smiled reassuringly. Volkner maintained his cool, calm facade, but he was panicking a little on the inside.
I can't let this topic die so quickly! I have to steer this, or I'll never get another chance! What can I use...wait! I've got it!
"You know, I've always wondered that, too." At Flint's quizzical look, he explained. "Why you two broke up, I mean. I never really asked 'cause I didn't want to pry, but..."
Flint frowned. "That? Jeez..." He exhaled tiredly. "She said I was 'too cold.'"
Volkner immediately lost it, bursting into bewildered cackles. "What? You, of all people, too cold?!"
That might just be the least accurate description of Flint I've ever heard, Volkner thought. Guess Flannery really didn't notice him the same way I do after all.
"Well, 'cold' as in, like..." Flint made a few vague hand gestures before giving up and resorting to actual words. "Well, it was about the kissing thing, to be honest. I don't know what it was, but..." Flint shuffled his feet and looked away. "I just never really wanted to kiss her...or anything," he admitted. "Don't get me wrong, Flannery's nice and all, but I just couldn't get into it. She tried to get me to do more, but like I said: wet and mushy."
Volkner couldn't help but laugh again. "I can see why you broke up, then. Can't very well date someone if you don't want to kiss them." Hang on a sec. His laughter stopped. I can use this. "But...wait. If you don't like kissing at all, what are you going to do?"
"What do you mean?"
"With, like...dating. How's that gonna work?" Flint's face fell, and Volkner's heart sank in pity at the look.
"I mean...I don't know. Maybe it was just Flannery or something." Flint stared down at his hands.
Volkner grinned. Perfect. "It probably was just her, then. People always say it's so great. Kissing can't be that bad, can it?"
Flint looked back up and chuckled. "Easy for you to say. You've never kissed anyone!"
"Yeah, but there's gotta be something to it, right?" Volkner egged on. Just a bit more leading, and...
"Not at all," Flint shot down, a mirthful smirk on his face. "Kissing is terrible. It's boring, squishy, and gross, and that's all there is to it," he laughed.
Volkner hid his conniving smirk with a frown and crossed his arms to conceal his shaking hands. "This isn't fair. I can't debate if I'm not coming from a place of knowledge."
"And how do you plan to fix that? There aren't any girls here you can try it out on," Flint pointed out, still laughing naively.
"No, but you're here."
Flint tilted his head in confusion. "Uh...yeah? So?"
Volkner shrugged as nonchalantly as he could. "So you can kiss me."
Gotcha.
Flint had been in the process of formulating his response, but Volkner's comment made him stop, his mouth hanging open comically. "Wait...what?"
Volkner knew there was no going back now, so he steeled himself and pushed on, pretending he'd said nothing out of the ordinary. "You can kiss me. There isn't anyone else here, and then I can know whether it sucks or not. It'll also give you a chance to see whether it's just Flannery that you don't like kissing. It's a win-win, you know?"
Flint continued gaping like a Magikarp. Every so often, he'd close his mouth and open it again to try and speak, only to clamp it shut again. Volkner might have laughed if he weren't so damn nervous.
"But we're both guys!" Flint finally blurted out, his voice cracking.
Volkner shrugged again. "So?"
"Well, we're both boys, so..." Flint trailed off. His face twisted a few times, as if he was confusing himself by trying to riddle things out.
It wasn't as if Volkner hadn't expected this particular roadblock. He just knew it wouldn't be hard to knock it down. "Yeah, we're boys, but it's just kissing, you know?" Volkner responded. "It's not like we're...'doing it,' or anything." Flint sputtered and choked, so Volkner was able to continue. "Lips are still lips. If you close your eyes, you won't even notice the difference, will you? It'll be the same as with a girl."
"Yeah, but...but...hm..." The words died as Flint was seemingly unable to argue with that.
After all, we're pretty weird for a pair of male best friends to begin with, aren't we, Flint? Volkner considered. We share everything—food, drinks, we've even been sharing your bed every time I sleep over since I was ten because you insisted I sleep with you the second I complained about how uncomfortable your pullout couch is. I'm the only person who's allowed to touch your afro. We're always together every day, every class, every lunch, every field trip, every project...this'll just be another one of those "things" that we do.
"Besides, what have you got to lose? No one else is here," Volkner pointed out. Flint gave him a skeptical look. "Well, except me, but then I'd have to confess to kissing you, too."
Flint shrugged and snorted. "I guess. Just so long as you don't mind losing your first to me," he taunted. Flint winced and let out an "Ow!" when Volkner flicked him on the forehead.
"Idiot. It's not like I'm losing my virginity to you," he joked, rolling his eyes and hoping Flint hadn't noticed the way his breath hitched at the idea. "I honestly just want to get it over with," he lied. "It's not like I'm saving it or anything. You're just helping me out, you know?" With a confident grin, he sarcastically declared, "It's just what friends are for!"
Flint opened his mouth as if to argue, but Volkner wasn't having any of that. He pushed down his anxiety and shifted a little closer. All Flint managed was a shaky, "Sure."
"Then..." Flint's body was comically rigid as Volkner slid closer. He had to do a kind of side-shuffle to get there, so it was a little awkward, but he did his best to look casual anyway as he closed the distance between the two of them.
As Volkner got closer, the smell of Flint's cologne (still too much of it, but it was Volkner's favorite, so he didn't mind) made itself known, and he was possessed by a sudden urge to just throw himself into Flint's arms and melt into the scent. He wasn't here for a hug, though, so he resisted the urge. He flicked his eyes over Flint's jaw, which had been looking more and more sculpted by the day. He was close enough to see a bit of...not quite stubble, he thought. It was more like a bit of fuzz...before his gaze slipped to Flint's lips. He automatically licked his own at the sight. Flint did the same, and Volkner paused at the action. He looked up at Flint's gray eyes. They carried an air of seriousness that he'd never seen before in his friend. He felt stuck in that spot as it finally hit him: this was real. It was actually happening in real life, not just in one of his curious daydreams.
Flint was the one to close the last few centimeters. His warm, soft lips were soon pressed to his, and Volkner's eyes fluttered shut. He sighed in pleased satisfaction at the feeling.
Since he had no experience, Volkner had read a bunch of online articles on kissing to try and compensate. Some of them were a little silly, but he figured he could use all the help he could get, so he kept the tips he'd learned in mind, doing his best to match Flint's pace without being too overeager about it.
Volkner didn't want the kiss to end, so he tried to switch things up by reaching a trembling hand up to cup the back of Flint's neck. It was hot underneath his fingers, even more than he'd expected.
After a few seconds, Volkner was starting to regret his move, wondering if he'd spooked Flint and he'd soon be pushed away. Instead, he felt an arm slip around his midsection and pull him closer. The closer proximity made Volkner press his lips farther into Flint's, and their noses bumped at first. Remembering what he'd read, Volkner tilted his head slightly to compensate.
The more Flint pulled him in, the more his body heat relaxed Volkner. His shoulders loosened and drooped, and he suppressed a pleased hum that built up in his throat when Flint's other hand moved in to cup his cheek. He sighed in pleasure against Flint's lips again when the hand made its way into his hair. The hand was soon stroking and threading through the strands carefully, hardly stopping in its motions. For all the teasing Flint had done about Volkner's hairstyle, he certainly didn't seem to mind running his fingers through it...
Volkner's wandering thoughts were interrupted when he felt Flint take Volkner's lower lip into his mouth. Flint sucked lightly on it, and Volkner's free hand automatically shot up to fist in his friend's t-shirt and tug at it in need. He didn't have time to focus on how good it felt because Flint started sucking harder and pulling Volkner's body closer to his, and he couldn't stop a quiet moan from escaping past his lips. The sound embarrassed him, and he thought for sure that Flint would panic and push him away this time. Instead, he felt Flint's body shudder in response, and his kissing grew a little more fervent and desperate. Apparently, the noises weren't a problem.
Through his haze of desire, it distantly occurred to Volkner that they'd been at this for quite some time, at least a few minutes, and he pondered this. Flint thinks he's just teaching me what a kiss feels like. I definitely know by this point. Shouldn't he have pulled away by now? Of course, Volkner didn't want him to stop—not now, not ever—so he didn't say a word. He just melted further into it.
He'd thought kissing Flint would feel nice, but that was all he'd thought—just nice. Instead, it was overwhelming, intoxicating. Heat flowed through his body from where their lips met, setting his nerves alight with pleasure. He felt like he was burning from Flint's efforts to "educate" him.
Volkner slipped his fingers from Flint's neck into his hair and tightened his grip on his friend's shirt. Another soft noise made itself heard from his throat, but he didn't have time to feel embarrassed because Flint gasped quietly, and then his tongue poked shyly at Volkner's lips.
Oh, god. Everything Volkner knew about kissing told him he shouldn't mess this part up. He opened his mouth to let Flint inside. Flint shuddered and touched their tongues together, but he seemed just as shy about this part as Volkner did. The feeling of sharing breath with his partner made his body shiver. At that, Flint dove back in to reconnect their lips and resume their previous activities.
Relief washed over Volkner. It had felt good, but he wasn't sure he had enough faith in his abilities for...that quite yet. Maybe later...wait, 'later?' This is just an experiment, right? After this, it might be all over... With that fear now firmly in mind, Volkner decided to throw all he could into this...whatever they were doing...knowing he might never have the chance again. He put more passion into the kiss. Heat rose inside of him when Flint matched his enthusiasm, and the room was filled with the soft sounds of kissing and muffled noises of pleasure. Volkner could feel the warmth of Flint's calloused hand as it slipped up underneath his shirt and stroked his back.
Flint's kissing grew more aggressive and, with his inexperience, Volkner could do little else but cling tightly to his friend and let him ravage his mouth. As he fell behind, Volkner could feel himself slowly falling until Flint had him pinned to the couch. The new position made him arch his back for more, but Flint pulled away. Slowly, Volkner's eyes fluttered open, and he was met with Flint's shocked expression as he hurriedly wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
Why did you stop? Volkner choked back the question and instead let his eyes roam over Flint's body.
His chest rose and fell rapidly, and his muscles somehow looked more pronounced than usual from his position on top of Volkner. The way Flint's eyes raked over his body made Volkner shiver with want. Flint was panting, and it seemed as if he was torn between figuring out his own reactions and just throwing himself right back onto Volkner to continue what they'd started. The look of indecision in his eyes made Volkner pity him a little for putting him through such confusion. He almost felt bad for deceiving him this way—almost.
Something didn't add up, though.
When the two had started kissing, Flint had been hesitant at first, but he'd quickly come undone. Before long, it had felt like Flint couldn't get enough of him, to the point where he'd wound up on top of Volkner within the span of a few minutes. Normally, Volkner would have chalked this up to Flint's fiery, passionate personality, except...
Volkner broke the heavy silence. "I thought..." He paused to gather himself, then continued shakily. "I thought Flannery said you were 'cold.'" The implication was blunt.
You don't feel cold to me.
Volkner could hear Flint's nervous gulp. Instead of answering, Flint lowered himself back onto Volkner's body and pressed their lips together again. Volkner relaxed at the warmth and looped his arms around Flint's neck to pull him closer. Much as he wanted an answer, he couldn't complain about what he got instead.
Besides, he could figure out on his own that Flint had never kissed Flannery like this.
It wasn't long until things escalated once more. Flint quickly got carried away again, and his heated kisses came more quickly. Volkner was taken by surprise when his friend started teasing his lips with light, affectionate nips. Overtaken by a sudden feeling of bravery, Volkner pushed his hands up the back of Flint's shirt and gripped desperately at the back and shoulder blades he'd admired so much. The flexing under his fingertips, the weight of Flint's body, the sensation of their lips pressed together...it was far better than his most vivid daydreams. All the heat made him want to squirm and wrap his legs around Flint's body to keep him there. He didn't, but he couldn't resist the moans of pleasure that made it past his lips. Volkner could feel Flint harden against his leg, and his face burned in embarrassment as he stiffened as well.
Flint's lips pulled away from his, and Volkner almost panicked until Flint shifted his attention to Volkner's ear instead. He shivered as Flint's tongue ran along the shell of it, and he felt his toes curl inside his shoes. His fingers tightened against Flint's back as he absently wondered if his friend knew how sensitive his ears were.
Nah. Probably just a lucky fluke.
Flint made his way to Volkner's jaw and kissed down it. Volkner didn't have time to consider the light touch before Flint's hands were moving again, settling on his chest under his shirt and one of his hips. Volkner felt his back arch harshly into the contact, and he gasped sharply.
Flint's lips were soon back on his, so Volkner kissed back with all the passion he could muster to show how much he was enjoying what Flint was doing to him. He wondered if Flint even realized the way his hand was stroking back and forth between Volkner's hip and thigh, teasing him until his jeans grew uncomfortable from his arousal. He didn't mention it either way.
Volkner was quickly overcome by a strong desire to have Flint's hands and lips all over him. Flint had given him a taste, but it wasn't enough. He wanted to beg Flint to kiss down his neck instead, to move his focus farther down, but he didn't have the courage. He just kept lying underneath Flint, responding to his every touch, thinking over and over, Don't stop, please don't stop—
"Bark!"
A shock of panic shot through Volkner's body at the sudden sound.
"...What?" Flint responded dumbly. The noise repeated, and Flint sat up, quickly shifted out of Volkner's lap, and crossed his legs. Volkner silently lamented when Flint fixed his shirt so his chest and stomach were no longer on display.
On the floor in front of them, panting and wagging its bushy tail with a dumb, oblivious, puppy-like gaze, sat Flint's Flareon. It barked again happily.
"You..." Flint groaned and pressed a hand firmly to his forehead. "You're hungry...now?" He was met with a sad whine from the fire Pokémon. Volkner's body shook with breathless, relieved laughter. At least it wasn't Flint's grandpa...or worse yet, Buck. We could've traumatized a child.
"Okay...okay. Fine. I'll get you some Pokémon food," Flint responded. He sounded a little snippy at having been interrupted. He turned his gaze back to Volkner, who self-consciously fixed his own clothing. "Uh...I..."
"Go," Volkner encouraged, taking pity on his friend. "Flareon's hungry, and...I think we could both use a minute anyway," he hinted, resisting the urge to throw a suggestive glance downward. He smirked awkwardly, and Flint returned the smile with an uneasy laugh of his own, stood up in a way that was probably supposed to be inconspicuous, and followed Flareon into the kitchen.
Volkner snatched his jacket off the back of the couch and dropped it into his lap to hide his own body's reaction, noting that having a security blanket around really did come in handy sometimes. He snuck a glance over his shoulder. He glared at Flint's Flareon for a moment before shifting his gaze to Flint's back instead and smiling fondly before he disappeared into the kitchen.
He exhaled deeply. Well. That hadn't gone as he'd expected.
Wasn't Flint supposed to be the one satisfying his curiosity? When they'd started this event, it was under the pretense that Flint was just letting him know what a kiss felt like. Judging from Flint's face and his reactions, though, Flint had learned a thing or two himself.
If this was a lesson, then who was the teacher here, and who was the student?
Volkner didn't really know, but two things were for sure: first, he'd been right. There was something a little off in how he looked at Flint.
And second, Volkner had been wrong: kissing Flint wasn't going to satisfy his curiosity.
On the contrary, he got the feeling that it was about to get worse.
WAY worse.