Trowa's visible green eyes narrowed dangerously as he spotted Duo and Quatre. It wasn't all that hard to pick them out among the crowd: loud boy with a three foot braid dressed in black, shining blonde hair and pink shirt beside him, copying his smile and laughter. Watching them laughing together was making him so jealous it made him feel sick. 'Quatre is leaving me for Duo?! What the hell is up with that??! Why do they get to go to a baseball game together anyway? I mean, just because Quatre's a Winner and has season tickets, why didn't he ask me? I'm his boyfriend, I should be going with Quatre, not Duo!'
Quatre turned and looked his way. Trowa saw that Quatre's eyes never actually saw *him*, but they saw the car he was squatted behind. The smile on his face disappeared as he frowned, actually looking angry for a moment. It was a rare sight, and Duo poked him, wondering what was wrong.
"Hey, Quatre, what is it buddy? You look like Heero without his caffeine in the morning!" Duo told him lightly, relieved to see the angry look vanish as quickly as it came, and Quatre's eyes focus back on him instead of out in the sea of parked cars.
"Nothing." Quatre replied defensively. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and forced a smile on his face. "So, what did you think of the seats?"
"Man, those were the best seats in the house!" Duo explained happily, not noticing Quatre looking back out towards the cars as he continued ranting about the seats they had sat in during the baseball game.
His light blue eyes narrowed slightly, still looking very lost. He sighed inside, his jaw firm. 'Trowa...'
~~~~
Quatre nearly slammed the door as he entered the bedroom he and Trowa shared. Just as he had suspected, Trowa was sitting down, back in his room. Still, Quatre knew all about it, just because Trowa was here now it meant he hadn't been here earlier. "You followed me." he told Trowa accusingly.
"So..." Trowa continued to stare out the window, but he could see Quatre in the reflection coming off it. Even if he hadn't been able too, he would have known what Quatre would look like. His hair and clothes would be ruffled slightly from the wind, and from running up there as soon as he'd gotten home. Because he ran, he'd be a little bit out of breath, and his cheeks would be pink like his shirt. His posture wouldn't be tall and erect like normal. His eyebrows would be knitted together in a frustrated not, as his eyes tried to figure out what had happened, and how to calm himself back down. "You knew, then."
"You're such an idiot, Trowa." There was still a bit of teasing in his voice as he spoke, and he somehow knew that it wouldn't be there soon. "My space heart told me that you were there."
"I had to be there." Trowa answered calmly.
"Because you were following me." Quatre continued to accuse.
"Yes. I was following you, Quatre." Trowa admitted. He blinked slowly. "And now, I know the truth."
"And just what truth would that be?" he asked, confused by Trowa's words. At least Trowa had admitted to spying on him. Quatre really hoped that Trowa would say what he thought he was going to say. Quatre didn't know how much longer he could take it. For months now, Trowa kept accusing Quatre about his emotions, all over the littlest things: 'you didn't give me a hug as soon as you saw me', 'you went out grocery shopping without me'. Then, he'd start the accusing: 'You helped Heero with Wing Zero, so how come you won't help me with Heavyarms?', 'How come you went to all the trouble of making Wufei mushroom fried rice?', 'Why do you have to flirt with Duo? You are *my* boyfriend!"
Trowa wasn't like that all the time, much to Quatre's joy, but at least once a month the jealous streak came. And when it came, it was a natural disaster. Quatre didn't see how it mattered if she didn't hug Trowa when he saw him in the morning, or if he went out and did something without Trowa. Heero had asked for Quatre's help with the Zero system, Wufei was looking lonely and Quatre wanted to cheer him up with something that would remind him of home, and just because Duo and Quatre teased and laughed with each other, it didn't mean he was flirting with him. For Pete's sake, Duo had a girlfriend, and Quatre respected Hilde very much!
Sometimes, it made Quatre wonder wether or not Trowa remembered everything Quatre did for him, and him alone: like the time that Trowa got sick with chicken pox, considering he hadn't been around young kids during his childhood and thus hadn't developed the immunity against them. Trowa had been sick for two whole weeks, and Quatre had stayed by his side the entire time. Or their six month anniversary, where he'd baked Trowa his favourite dishes. All the times he flirted with Trowa, and became overjoyed that Trowa flirted back with him.
After the accusations came that one line Quatre would go nuts if he ever heard again, and right now Trowa was saying it.
"You hate me, you don't love me anymore."
It was like a physical blow each time he said it. Usually Quatre would calm himself down by telling himself that Trowa was just angry, and he'd run up and hug Trowa, only to be told to leave him alone because Quatre didn't love him anymore, at which point Quatre would turn around to leave, waiting for Trowa would calm down. By this point in time though, Quatre was ready to pull out his hair.
"That's why you took Duo to the baseball game instead of me. You don't love me anymore and you are leaving me for Duo."
'Trowa, you are such an ass.' Quatre thought, glaring as he did so. 'You don't even like baseball! Duo does!' He felt something inside him snap, and he stomped his foot, feeling the floor shake at it. "Damn it Trowa!"
His words caught Trowa by surprise. Quatre hardly ever swore, and he most definitely didn't go around stomping floor boards. Through the window's reflection, he saw Heero, Duo, and Wufei peak their heads into the room. Quatre's yelling had obviously reached their ears.
"I've had enough of this! I'm not leaving you for Duo! I love you, and you know that! How come you keep accusing me of such... insane things! I don't hate anybody, and you know that too! So how come you keep telling me I do."
"Because."
"Because? That's not an answer, Trowa! I demand a better one!"
"Why?"
"Simply because I deserve a better answer then that! It's also not even a real answer!"
"It's the best answer you are going to get. I don't even see why you need another one."
"Every time you say that I hate you, I feel like a little piece of me dies, Trowa! I get so confused by your emotional mood swings, and your answer are just confusing me more because they don't tell me anything! Not a single, damn thing about how to fix it, how to make it stop, or how to make you believe that..." he paused, seeing the truth. "You don't trust me, do you Trowa?"
"No. I don't trust anybody."
"You should at least trust your friends! I'm not saying that you should be gullible or anything, I'm saying that you should trust those you care about. You and I have something special Trowa! Can't you at least trust me? Why don't you trust me? I've never given you a reason not to!"
'Other then the whole fact that when I went insane on the Zero system, I nearly killed him.' Quatre thought to himself.
"Because."
Quatre was ready to smash something. "Will you quit saying that? I know you don't say much when you talk, Trowa, but you usually say a lot of stuff to me! Isn't that a sign of trust? Why won't you talk to me now?"
"You want to know why I won't give you a better reason then a single word?"
"Dammit, yes, Trowa!"
His eyes narrowed, and his glare was so dangerous as he turned around, that Heero saw it and backed up, as did Duo and Wufei. Quatre held his ground as Trowa approached him. "That's too damn bad, Quatre. That's the only answer you deserve."
With that, Trowa swiftly exited the room. The door clicked shut, and Quatre managed to regain what little composure he had left before he fell to the floor in a crumpled heap of emotions. He didn't feel like any of his muscles were working at all, he just collapsed. His body shook with sobs as he let the tears he had been holding in for months finally come out.
~~~~To Be Continued