Yuki: Welcome one, and everyone! Welcome to the—
Yume: Doom of us all.
Yuki: Security.
Security: ::take Yume away to the Room With a Moose::
Yume: NOOOO!! NOT THE ROOM WITH THE MOOSE!! NOT THE ROOM WITH THE MOOOOOooooooooooooose....
Everyone else: o.o Cheese....
Yuki: SHUT IT.
Hikari: Welcome to Yuki-chan's first ever fan fiction! Please leave all flames at the door and proceed to read the randomness that is Yuki's insanely awesome creativeness!
Yuki: Why thank you, Hikari. NOW! LET THE ASSIGNING— I mean... fan fic... BEGIN!!
Disclaimer of DOOM: I own not anything that belongs not to me.
Everyone: o.O???
Disclaimer for Dummies: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho.
Introducing... the first of many chapters... The Beginning of the Madness
Yuki was the first to awake in the large mansion that was the fortress of the Ministry of Silly Walks crew. She dressed in her "Meats of Evil" shirt and jeans. She equipped her feets with black flip-flops and her back with a blue jean jacket. She walked across her room to where Hiei slept and gave him his usual wake-up call.
"GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED NOW, JAGANSHI!!"
She ran.
Yuki was not one to walk down the stairs like a good little Ice demon should. She had Hiei hot on her trail so she did as usual, and iced the banister. She slid down. As she did so, she pulled a blue jean baseball cap out of Hammer Space and placed it on her head. Backwards. Strange as it may be, the stairs ended (or started, whichever you prefer), in the kitchen. And strange as it may be, by the time Hiei had returned the banister to normal and turned to face Yuki, she had already begun with the... WAFFLES!
"How did you..."
The Ice apparition pointed at the cabinet that usually contained waffle mix crap. It had been opened and emptied of its contents.
"But that still doesn't explain how you did that that fas—"
"DO NOT QUESTION MY SPEEDY AUTHORITY, LITTLE MAN!" the yelling had, of course, woken Touya, Jin, Yuusuke, and Kurama, who slept on the first floor. They moseyed into the kitchen and checked out the scene.
"Every... single... morning...." Yuusuke said through a yawn.
"What did Hiei say, sister?"
Yuki turned to face her brother. She sweatdropped. "NOTHING!"
Touya, Jin, Yuusuke, and Kurama then proceeded to participate in the classic anime fall.
"The' wha' di' 'appen, eh?"
"What did he say?" Yuki whispered to Touya.
"Can you never understand anything sister?" he said with a sigh.
"Obviously not." Came a voice from behind them.
Yuki's eyes were sparkly. IT'S YOUU!!! She ran towards Hikari who had just come down from the second floor. She held her little dog, Jack, in her arms.
"IT'S YOUU!!!" Hikari put Jack down, who immediately started chewing on the bottom of Yuusuke's flannel pajama pants. She glomped Yuki.
"HOLY—!!"
People laughed.
"GET — THE HELL — OFFA ME — HIKARI!!"
And she did.
"Youuuuuu duuuun't liiiiiiiike meeeeeeee!" Hikari began to sob. Yuki, Touya, and Hiei then began to head towards the tallest tree they could find. To get far, far away from Hikari.
THREE HOURS LATER'D!
Hiei and Yuki still sit in the tree. Azumi, Hikari, and Kurama sit by the lake outside the mansion talking about Invader ZIM. Kaze was taking a nap. In the middle of the lake. On a giant floaty boat. Kyoko and Kuwabara were engaged in a battle of wits. Yuusuke, Touya, Jin, Yume, Hark, Charlie, and Kitty were running around having an acorn war. Yuki almost joined, but when she got hit in the eye with one....
"CHARLIE!!" she jumped out of the tree and ran to Charlie.
"o.o I'm doomed...." Charlie took off towards the mansion.
"DAMN STRAIGHT! GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE PUNK!" Once Yuki caught up to Charlie, she grabbed the nearest breakable object she could. A lamp. She beat Charlie over the head with it multiple times until it broke. She decided to use her awesome ninja skills. Soon Charlie and Yuki were in an all-out fist furry. Azumi and Touya ran in.
"YUKI! That was our mother's demon lamp! She got it from Yuusuke's dad, remember?!?"
"Obviously not!"
Azumi used her nifty levitation technique and lifted Yuki and Charlie far, far away from each other. Yuusuke, Kazuma, Jin, Hark, and Yume came to observe the scene.
"Lemme go, Azumi! Put me down!" Yuki shouted.
"Lemme think about it.... Mmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooo." (1)
"Guyyyyyyyyyyys!" Kaze's voice floated down from the third floor game room. "Sweeeeeeeet snooooooooow!"
"SWEET SNOW!!" everyone ran upstairs to Kaze. As Azumi left, Charlie and Yuki fell to the ground. Charlie began up the stairs, but was forced to stop as Yuki proceeded to beat him some more.
"Ow! Yuki! Sweet snow, remember?!"
"OH YEAH!" she took off up the stairs.
PAGE BREAK!
Once everyone was full to bursting with sweet snow, Hikari decided to get an idea.
"LET'S PLAY TAG!!"
"HELL NO!" everyone else shouted.
"I never?" (2)
"Well that works." Azumi said.
When everyone had their sodas, Kaze went first.
"Um... I never... climbed the Empire State Building and jumped off."
Yuki took a drink. Kuwabara, who was sneaking a drink, spit it out.
"WHEN WAS THAT?!?"
"Well," Yuki explained, "I once climbed up to the very tippy-top of the Empire State Building and did a beautiful swan dive off. I shot out a web right before I hit the ground and sped along about an inch from the pavement. I shot another out and I swung high into the air, then jumped and landed on top of another building. The judge gave me a nine point five. "
".........................................::spaz::"
"What?! I was playing Spider-Man!!"
"Well that clears that up, then." Yume said.
"OOH! OOH! OOH! ME NEXT!!" Hikari shouted. "I neverrrrrr... ate a bean."
"For real, Hikari."
She pouted. "Fine. I neverrrrrr... kissed a guy." Yuki and Hiei glanced at each other, as did Yume and Kurama, before reluctantly taking a sip.
"HA! BLACKMAIL!!" Yuusuke and Kazuma high-fived and ran out of the room.
"Well, shit." Yuki said.
"Yep. We're doomed." Kurama agreed.
"Not if I have anything to say about it...."
Yuki: And so ends the random plotless chapter the first.
Yume: The Spider-Man thing actually happened. The judge was Yuki's bro's friend, Ty.
Hikari: What are Yuusuke and Kuwabara plotting?! Will Yume, Kurama, Yuki, and Hiei be able to stop them in time?! Find out in the next chapter of "The Ministry Takes a Twist!"
Yuki: I need at least three positive reviews before I can update.
Azumi: R&R! R&R NOW!
(1) Thanks to Aya for that quote.
(2) Got the idea from my friend P.A.'s fan fiction "Party At P.A.'s". You people should read it sometime. It's greatness.