Mina: Konyanyachiwa! I'm the lovely, talented, beautiful Mina-chan! ^.^ *strikes a pose, men cheer and wolfwhistle* Aw, thank you! Now, for some reason, Phibby didn't want to take this job again. He actually threatened me with some little orb thing and ran off screaming 'Never again!! Never again!' *pauses, shrugs and giggles* Oh well! ^_^; Here's my new stage manager, my merblemikey!
**A creature that can be described only as the cutest little thing in the whole entire world waddles out and is picked up and cuddled by Mina**
Merblemikey: Merble. Merblemerblemerble-merble. Meef!
Mina: Oh, so true.. so true. *nods sagely and pats him on the head* So here's our bachelorette,…Z--*blinks* Zel!?
Zelgadiss: This damn dress still won't frigging come off! I'm not a woman, really! Lina put me on this cause she thought it would be funny!
*Camera pans over to Lina, who's laughing hysterically*
Mina: Er…well…let's see our contestants. Bachelor number one!
*Xelloss appears on the stool, smiling cutely, and there's a thump as Lina laughs so hard she falls off her chair.*
Xelloss: Hello Mina-chan! ^.^
Mina: o.o; Hello, Bachelor number one.
Xelloss: Remember me?
Mina: u.u; Sadly, yes.
Xelloss: ^_^;
Mina: Bachelor number two?
**Milphey-yu walks out in his Haz Knights uniform, looking absolutely serious and solemn like he had never smiled in his life and he damn well wasn't gonna start now**
Mina: Well.. hell-o there..
Milphey-yu: Hello, Lady Mina.
Mina: Aren't you a handsome one.
Milphey-yu: *changes into his 'female form'* Well that's certainly what Carrot-chan told me last night! *giggles and waves*
Carrot: (from audience) Shut up, goddamnit!!
Mina: ... I'm beginning to see why Phibrizzo didn't take this job.. Bachelor number three?
**Yue walks out wearing flowing white robes, his huge wings nearly hitting the camera person and almost knocking Milphey-yu off his stool**
Mina: O_O
Merblemikey: o_o
Every woman in the audience: O_O!
Yue: Good eve.
Mina: O_O H..hi. *blinks* . Don't I know you from somewhere?
Yue: o.o;; . . .; No.
Mina: Alrighty then. Let's get onto our first question. Zel? .;;
**Zelgadiss is trying to chew the dress off. He looks up with a mouth full of lace**
Zelgadiss: Mmph?
Mina: Stop that, you'll wreck your teeth. .;;
Zelgadiss: *grumbles but stops gnawing* Fine, Bachelor number one. I--*blinks and sweatdrops* Mina-chan, this is embarassing, do I have to read these?
Mina: Yyep.
Zelgadiss: u.u; Bachelor number one. I love a nice bubble bath alone at night to relax my tired body. What do you do to relax?
Xelloss: *puts his hand to his chin in thought* Well let's see.. I do have a rather certain fondness for making people's lives a living hell ^_^
Mina: .;
Milphey-Yu: Relax? As a Haz Knight, we don't relax *changes back into Mille* But if Carrot-chan would take me up on my offer, I could relax -him-...
Carrot: AUGH!
Yue: I don't understand the question.
Mina: You know. Relax.
Yue: I am a guardian. I never relax.
Mina:...Very well then, onto the next question, Zel.
Zelgadiss: This is so humilating.
**Xelloss smiles happily**
Zelgadiss: Which do you prefer, top or bottom---*blinks* MINA!!
Mina: *shrugs* I didn't write them.
Zelgadiss: Well who the hell did?!
Merblemikey: ^_^ *raises a kawaii little paw* Merble!
Zelgadiss: Oh, I see.
Xelloss: Top.
Milphey-yu: Sideways.
Mina: o.o;; Kinky.
Yue: *blinks a bit and mumbles 'top or bottom..'* I prefer floating. *smiles even though he doesn't understand the question, then blinks* Oh..-that-.. Bottom. *mumbles 'thank you, Yukito.'*
Mina: . Do I even want to know?
Yue: No you don't.
Mina: Okay. Zel, you have the next question?
Zelgadiss: No, I burned it ^_^
**Merblemikey waddles over and hands Zelgadiss another set of questions**
Zelgadiss: .; Gee.. thanks. What is the most romantic thing you could say to me?
Xelloss: I won't kill you yet?
**Silence**
Xelloss: . . What?!
Mille: You're almost as kawaii as Carrot-chan!
Carrot: SHUT UP!! *is restrained by Marron and Gateau as he tries to go ontstage to strangle Mille*
Yue: Uh..well.. *goes silent for a moment and appears to be listening* Your eyes are the color of the most beautiful lake I could only hope to swim in? *raises an eyebrow* Yukito.. *sighs* I can't believe you made me say it.
Mina: Well, while our two shizophrenics and our resident fruitcake ..
Xelloss: ^_^ v
Mina: .. relax after round one, we'll go to a commercial.
Zelgadiss: Not another Mr. Sock commercial.
Mina: Nope, even better!
Zelgadiss: I can only wonder..
**Commercial Break**
**A large phallus shaped thing with a giant green afro wig and two googly eyes 'walks' into view**
Bob: Hi there! ^.^ Do you have problems getting women?
Allen Schezar: . Nope.
Carrot: Shut up, dude, I wanna hear this.
Bob: Well I have just the thing for you. Bob the Talking Dildo's Clinic for Getting a Chick!
Carrot: Sounds catchy.
Bob: This Saturday at 123 Sex Drive (Sex Drive. Get it?), 9 pm - 11 pm. $20 cover charge. I'll see you there!
Mina: We're back. ^_^;;
**Studio audience/Contestants** O_O;;
Zelgadiss: .;; Mina..
Mina: Onto the next question!
Zelgadiss: *sigh* What's the kind of song you would use to get us in the mood? u.u;
Xelloss: *thinks* Sore wa, himitsu--*blinks* Uh.. I mean....; Some..uh..boy band song.
Mille: Something..romaaantic *giggles* Like.. um.. "Romantic Soldier"!
Yue: Romantic? The wind beneath my wings o.o;
Mina: .
Zelgadiss: It's the last question! Thank god!! What would you do to me if you had the chance..*voice trails off*
Merblemikey: ^_^;
Xelloss: *just..laughs* Don't tease me!
Milphey-Yu: *clears throat* I would sit you down and have a nice conversation with you over coffee, I suppose.
**Tumbleweed rolls by**
Yue: I'd dress you up like Clow-sama ^_^
Mina: Well.. now that the questions were answered..uh.. we'll let the audience vote. Bachelor number one?
**The audience claps and the Clap-O-Meter goes up to 200**
Mina: Wow, good job, Bachelor number one!
Xelloss: ^_^ v
Mina: Number two?
**Carrot boos, faint applause. It goes up to 65**
Mina: Number three?
**Applause, it goes up to 71**
Mina: Looks like you and bachelor number one are going on a fabulous date together!!
**Zelgadiss peeks over the screen and screams**
Zelgadiss: AAAH!! NOT YOU!!
Xelloss: I knew we were destined to be together, Zel-kun! ^.^ *chases him around the stage*
**Mille jumps into the audience and glomps onto Carrot, and Yue walks off dejectedly before Mina grabs him and pulls him into the green room**
Merblemikey: *pauses in turning audience members into koosh balls* Um..merblemerble merble.. meefmerf..merble! *waves*
**blackout**
**A creature that can be described only as the cutest little thing in the whole entire world waddles out and is picked up and cuddled by Mina**
Merblemikey: Merble. Merblemerblemerble-merble. Meef!
Mina: Oh, so true.. so true. *nods sagely and pats him on the head* So here's our bachelorette,…Z--*blinks* Zel!?
Zelgadiss: This damn dress still won't frigging come off! I'm not a woman, really! Lina put me on this cause she thought it would be funny!
*Camera pans over to Lina, who's laughing hysterically*
Mina: Er…well…let's see our contestants. Bachelor number one!
*Xelloss appears on the stool, smiling cutely, and there's a thump as Lina laughs so hard she falls off her chair.*
Xelloss: Hello Mina-chan! ^.^
Mina: o.o; Hello, Bachelor number one.
Xelloss: Remember me?
Mina: u.u; Sadly, yes.
Xelloss: ^_^;
Mina: Bachelor number two?
**Milphey-yu walks out in his Haz Knights uniform, looking absolutely serious and solemn like he had never smiled in his life and he damn well wasn't gonna start now**
Mina: Well.. hell-o there..
Milphey-yu: Hello, Lady Mina.
Mina: Aren't you a handsome one.
Milphey-yu: *changes into his 'female form'* Well that's certainly what Carrot-chan told me last night! *giggles and waves*
Carrot: (from audience) Shut up, goddamnit!!
Mina: ... I'm beginning to see why Phibrizzo didn't take this job.. Bachelor number three?
**Yue walks out wearing flowing white robes, his huge wings nearly hitting the camera person and almost knocking Milphey-yu off his stool**
Mina: O_O
Merblemikey: o_o
Every woman in the audience: O_O!
Yue: Good eve.
Mina: O_O H..hi. *blinks* . Don't I know you from somewhere?
Yue: o.o;; . . .; No.
Mina: Alrighty then. Let's get onto our first question. Zel? .;;
**Zelgadiss is trying to chew the dress off. He looks up with a mouth full of lace**
Zelgadiss: Mmph?
Mina: Stop that, you'll wreck your teeth. .;;
Zelgadiss: *grumbles but stops gnawing* Fine, Bachelor number one. I--*blinks and sweatdrops* Mina-chan, this is embarassing, do I have to read these?
Mina: Yyep.
Zelgadiss: u.u; Bachelor number one. I love a nice bubble bath alone at night to relax my tired body. What do you do to relax?
Xelloss: *puts his hand to his chin in thought* Well let's see.. I do have a rather certain fondness for making people's lives a living hell ^_^
Mina: .;
Milphey-Yu: Relax? As a Haz Knight, we don't relax *changes back into Mille* But if Carrot-chan would take me up on my offer, I could relax -him-...
Carrot: AUGH!
Yue: I don't understand the question.
Mina: You know. Relax.
Yue: I am a guardian. I never relax.
Mina:...Very well then, onto the next question, Zel.
Zelgadiss: This is so humilating.
**Xelloss smiles happily**
Zelgadiss: Which do you prefer, top or bottom---*blinks* MINA!!
Mina: *shrugs* I didn't write them.
Zelgadiss: Well who the hell did?!
Merblemikey: ^_^ *raises a kawaii little paw* Merble!
Zelgadiss: Oh, I see.
Xelloss: Top.
Milphey-yu: Sideways.
Mina: o.o;; Kinky.
Yue: *blinks a bit and mumbles 'top or bottom..'* I prefer floating. *smiles even though he doesn't understand the question, then blinks* Oh..-that-.. Bottom. *mumbles 'thank you, Yukito.'*
Mina: . Do I even want to know?
Yue: No you don't.
Mina: Okay. Zel, you have the next question?
Zelgadiss: No, I burned it ^_^
**Merblemikey waddles over and hands Zelgadiss another set of questions**
Zelgadiss: .; Gee.. thanks. What is the most romantic thing you could say to me?
Xelloss: I won't kill you yet?
**Silence**
Xelloss: . . What?!
Mille: You're almost as kawaii as Carrot-chan!
Carrot: SHUT UP!! *is restrained by Marron and Gateau as he tries to go ontstage to strangle Mille*
Yue: Uh..well.. *goes silent for a moment and appears to be listening* Your eyes are the color of the most beautiful lake I could only hope to swim in? *raises an eyebrow* Yukito.. *sighs* I can't believe you made me say it.
Mina: Well, while our two shizophrenics and our resident fruitcake ..
Xelloss: ^_^ v
Mina: .. relax after round one, we'll go to a commercial.
Zelgadiss: Not another Mr. Sock commercial.
Mina: Nope, even better!
Zelgadiss: I can only wonder..
**Commercial Break**
**A large phallus shaped thing with a giant green afro wig and two googly eyes 'walks' into view**
Bob: Hi there! ^.^ Do you have problems getting women?
Allen Schezar: . Nope.
Carrot: Shut up, dude, I wanna hear this.
Bob: Well I have just the thing for you. Bob the Talking Dildo's Clinic for Getting a Chick!
Carrot: Sounds catchy.
Bob: This Saturday at 123 Sex Drive (Sex Drive. Get it?), 9 pm - 11 pm. $20 cover charge. I'll see you there!
Mina: We're back. ^_^;;
**Studio audience/Contestants** O_O;;
Zelgadiss: .;; Mina..
Mina: Onto the next question!
Zelgadiss: *sigh* What's the kind of song you would use to get us in the mood? u.u;
Xelloss: *thinks* Sore wa, himitsu--*blinks* Uh.. I mean....; Some..uh..boy band song.
Mille: Something..romaaantic *giggles* Like.. um.. "Romantic Soldier"!
Yue: Romantic? The wind beneath my wings o.o;
Mina: .
Zelgadiss: It's the last question! Thank god!! What would you do to me if you had the chance..*voice trails off*
Merblemikey: ^_^;
Xelloss: *just..laughs* Don't tease me!
Milphey-Yu: *clears throat* I would sit you down and have a nice conversation with you over coffee, I suppose.
**Tumbleweed rolls by**
Yue: I'd dress you up like Clow-sama ^_^
Mina: Well.. now that the questions were answered..uh.. we'll let the audience vote. Bachelor number one?
**The audience claps and the Clap-O-Meter goes up to 200**
Mina: Wow, good job, Bachelor number one!
Xelloss: ^_^ v
Mina: Number two?
**Carrot boos, faint applause. It goes up to 65**
Mina: Number three?
**Applause, it goes up to 71**
Mina: Looks like you and bachelor number one are going on a fabulous date together!!
**Zelgadiss peeks over the screen and screams**
Zelgadiss: AAAH!! NOT YOU!!
Xelloss: I knew we were destined to be together, Zel-kun! ^.^ *chases him around the stage*
**Mille jumps into the audience and glomps onto Carrot, and Yue walks off dejectedly before Mina grabs him and pulls him into the green room**
Merblemikey: *pauses in turning audience members into koosh balls* Um..merblemerble merble.. meefmerf..merble! *waves*
**blackout**