HEY GUYS! MY NAME is Summer and I've read so many fanfictions, that I decided to write one of my own. I have never in my life written a story, and I'm pretty nervous about writing one but at the same time I'm super excited. Hopefully this story goes well, but you never know, anyways let me know what you think. I do not own anything. Oh and thank you so much to Jigsaw for editing the beginning of my story, I really appreciate it.
Ally strolled through the busy and crowded streets of New York filled with people, tourists and horrible traffic. The sound of honking cars echoed in her ears, Even though Ally had been living in New York since she was a 6, she was not used to this. Her parents moved from Miami to New York City for personal reasons. To be more specific, the whole Dawson's moved because Ally's mom needed special help. Her beautiful mom with brown curls, that her child later inherited, was suicidal. Ally continued scurrying towards her destination, her ombre curls bouncing with every step she took. Ally blended in as everyone else there was. The seventeen year old, wavy-haired brunet wore tight beige cotton pants and a loose cotton shirt striped with shades of pink and purple. As she was walking and bumping into strangers, her eyes drifted towards the gun shop and she stopped dead in her tracks, the color draining from her face. Her memory was triggered as she remembered the horrible incident that happened when she was 15.
"Mom don't do it!" Ally frantically shouted at her fragile looking mom, who was holding an 1891 Argentine mauser gun to her own head.
"Ally, you've grown to be a beautiful young woman and I'm so happy I got to witnessed it, but I have to do this. I've reached to a conclusion that my existence has no meaning and neither medication nor doctor can fix me. Things won't change. And the stars and sky will still come out every day," her mom said, her voice breaking with every word that escaped her quivering lips.
"Don't you dare be selfish enough to believe you aren't important to us, and don't you dare tell me things won't change because they will! T he stars and sky will be out but without you, we don't want them!" screamed Ally.
S he felt the wet, hot tears sting her eyes and her throat closed tight. Each word pitched higher than the last in order to squeak out the words that were bottled inside of her. Her tears split over and flowed down her pale skin like a river escaping a dam. Ally just needed a few minutes till the paramedics came; they had said that they were on their way but every second felt as if it was her last with her mother.
"Im so sorry Ally , I love you and your dad I always will, but I'm tired and exhausted and the only sleep I crave is the type of sleep I don't want to wake up from," Ally's mom said. Her voice filled with various emotions. Ally could sense her mother's determination to end her life. With trembling, delicate hands, she clamped the fatal steel of the gun halfway, deciding if it was worth leaving her husband of 13 years and her beautiful daughter. Ally's body felt weak. Sweat covered every inch of her body and her hands shook with fear and pain.
No more pain," her mother softly whispered. Her finger summoned the courage to contract and a deafening roar pierced the air, followed by a ghastly silence. The wall behind her was immediately splattered with red, a pool of blood staining the ground. Ally fell to her knees. It hurt to breathe. With closing lids, her mother slipped into eternal darkness.
Ally snapped out of her thoughts as soon as she heard her phone ringing. With her heart beating wildly, she firmly grabbed her phone out of her tight jeans, trying to block out all of the noisy people of New York, and answered it without checking the ID.
"Hello?" Ally said in a croaky voice.
He checked on her every single day since she moved out of his house to be independent. Larry, Ally's father, repeatedly told his daughter that she didn't have to move out in order to feel bold and liberated. She moved out of the house anyway.
Of course knowing that your daughter has depression and is suicidal is very hard on a parent -Especially hearing the fact that his beautiful angel no longer had sufficient strength to get out of bed and go to the bathroom. He knew Ally going to the therapist was a humongous step, she didn't like talking about her feelings and she absolutely loathed crowds. Every time she was around a group of people she would have a panic attack. Larry, like every parent was protective, but he knew he had to be more protective. After all he didn't want the same thing to happen to his only daughter as his wife did. He remembered when his daughter was first diagnosed with depression as if it was yesterday. The memories of that day infused his mind.
Both Ally and Larry were sitting in the doctor's office, Ally shifting uncomfortably shifting in her seat. She impatiently shook her leg up and down waiting for the results that may change her life. Ally never really thought she had depression. Of course she had difficulty concentrating in school and she also noticed her energy decreasing. She noticed how tired she had become and yes, she also thought of suicide but she always told herself it was just a silly phase of losing a loved one.
She examined her surrounding, turning her head left to right, hoping she wouldn't see the gentlemen in his mid 40's wearing a doctor's uniform. A sigh of relief came from Ally's lip. She veered her head to the right and saw a lanky baby with huge hands and feet. The baby was making all types of weird expressions and just by looking at it, it looked so precious and light. Ally never was fond of children; they were noisy, annoying, and so innocent. Ally just knew she wasn't here in the physical world to have a baby or marry.
"Ally Dawson? Doctor Chafer would like to see you in his office" a soft voice spoke. It had been the 36 year old looking nurse with the hair shade of mahagony and piercing blue eyes.
Ally cleared her throat and departed herself from the uncomfortable chairs and walked towards the inside of the doctor's office.
"ok, I'm ready" she said almost too quietly. She had begun to shake frantically and her mouth hurt from all the times she bit down on them when she was nervous, which was all the time.
"It's going to be ok" said Larry while gripping his daughter's daughter, trying to comfort her.
They walked through the door of a quite spacious room. The walls are white, along with the ceiling and the light filters into the room through the blinds. Standing in front of them is the same doctor that had taken tests on Ally in order to classify if she had depression.
Doctor Chaffer cleared his throat and said,
"As you know I had to rule out other conditions that may cause depression with a physical examination, personal interview, and lab tests. I also had to conduct a complete diagnostic evaluation, discussing any family history of depression or other mental illness. Furthermore, the resu-" he was cut off by Ally.
"Can you just hurry the fuck up and tell me if you diagnosed me with depression?" Ally snapped.
Larry quickly responded and said
"Godamnit Ally, he's just doing his job" he turned to and quickly apologized for her behavior.
"To get to the point, yes Ally I am diagnosing you with depression. I have scheduled you an appointment with one of the best therapist there is, and I'm assigning you atypical antidepressants and tricyclic antidepressant. I know you can get through this, just remember every day may not be good, but there is something good in everyday.
Ally's dead voice spoke,
"Yes im on my way to the therapist I don't want to see"
She waited a couple of seconds before saying anything
"Dad are you there?"
Her dad snapped out of it and responded with a quick "yeah".
Ally sighed and ran a finger through her hair. Ally knew her every day schedule was, 1. Getting out of bed, 2. Surviving, and 3. Going back to bed. She didn't want to tamper with the system, but she had to in order to go to the therapist.
She was standing in awe outside of the office of the therapist she was assigned to. The building was enormous and it made her feel so tiny and insignificant. The base of the building covered a whole block, she didn't know that there were so many people with depression, it shocked her.
"I'm standing right outside the office, its umm really big" said Ally.
"Yeah, said it was one of the best depression clinics and therapists there are. Ally Honey, I'm going to a convention in Miami and hopefully I will hopefully be back Thursday, I love you and please just try to talk about your feelings with your therapist. Just think about it, the more you talk about it, the more you get off your chest and they might even consider you not going to the therapist" her dad said.
Ally knew her dad knew how she dreaded talking about her feelings, so she stopped talking about her feelings as soon as she realized no cared anyway. She was also terrified of rejection so she swallowed her feelings and put up with some abuse than take the chance of making anyone mad at her.
"Ok Dad, I Love you too, have a nice trip". She said blankly.
She walked through the automatic door and went up to the receptionist. The receptionist looked up and Ally noticed her features. She had a rectangular face with a defined, slightly pointed chin and a sturdy jaw line, but that wasn't what stood out the most. What stood out the most was her purple hair, obviously dyed.
Ally said,
"I'm here for an appointment with Mrs. Needon -" Ally paused to check her watch only to find out that it was only 2:30.
"At 3:00, I know I'm a bit early but I would like to get this over with. So if she has time right now, can we start our session?" Ally Said impatiently.
Normally Ally wasn't rude to anyone, especially strangers but today just was one of those days where her tolerance level wasn't high. Ally looked over at the purple hair woman's name tag and saw "Donna" written in neat cursive. She then looked over shoulder to find a blond man with a sturdy, compact body. He was neatly dressed in a pressed suit, shined shoes, and perfectly rolled-up sleeves. He looked around her age, 18, maybe 19. He felt a pair of eyes on him and he slowly turned around only for his chocolate brown eyes with tones of amber in them that seemed to dance in the sunlight connected with the brunettes chocolate brown eyes that held warmth and knowledge in them but secrets as well. Ally diverted her eyes from him and to Donna.
Donna kindly smiled and said in a small voice,
"Mrs. Needon is ready to start your session, please enter her office oh and make yourself at home". Ally nodded quickly at her and enetered Mrs. Needons office.
As soon as she entered, the tall slim figure automatically stood up and held out her hand out to Ally. Ally firmly shook her hand and sat down.
Mrs. Needon was a middle aged woman with faded gray hair that was originally black. She was in great shape, on the short side (just like Ally), and had wrinkles below her forehead and under her eyes. Mrs. Needon smiled, just a little smile at first, but as it grew it pressed her rosy cheeks up and slowly revealed her teeth, like a perfect Pearl necklace. Ally didn't return the smile; instead she stared blankly at her.
"You must be Ally, it's such a pleasure to meet you" said Mrs. Needon sitting down in her regular seat.
"Thanks, you too" said Ally not at all trying to be convincing.
"Let me just start by doing an exercise that I always do with my patients. I will ask you a simple question and then we can go from them" she cleared her throat and proceeded to talk to Ally.
"Tell me a depression thought that you've repeatedly have" she said.
Ally stared at her thinking to herself,"she has to be kidding". Ally obviously didn't want to continue but quickly changed her mind when she remembered what her dad said to her. The more you get off your chest the more they will consider you not going to the therapist. So she gave in and said,
"In a 100 years almost everyone that's alive now will be dead and the world will be inhabited by 10 billion or so completely new people".
Mrs. Needon responded
"Maybe these new people will be less bigoted, sexist, and racist.
Ally sighed and bit her bottom lip, Mrs. Needon wasn't completely wrong. What Ally said next caught Mrs. Needon off.
" I won't live to see that world" said Ally quietly . The room was quite for a few seconds before Mrs Needon said,
"You can help create that world."