Everything Makes Sense in Canada. (by eenodol.)
(chapter 1)
"You and your goddamn skirt, you look like a goddamn faggot!"
"Helga, you know that's not nice. You shouldn't judge people on their outward appearances. It's not a skirt anyway!"
"Yeah, that's exactly what a queer would say!"
"Fuck off, Helga!"
Helga watched in amazement as Arnold stormed off into the storeroom of Slightly Irregular Womens Clothing.
"Crimeny, what's up with him? All I wanted was a slightly irregular pink dress."
Meanwhile, as Arnold sobs in the storeroom, kept company only by his right handed alter ego..
"She knows I'm gay, she knows I'm gay.. She's going to tell everybody, I know it.."
"She doesn't know you're gay, you dumbass."
"She does too, and don't say that, that's a bad word."
"She doesn't know. She's just insulting you."
"No ones that mean. People don't say things like that unless they know they're true."
"Fine, fine. She knows you're a blatent homosexual. why don't you just run away to Canada, you wimpy left handed queer?"
"Hey, that's not so bad of an idea, Righty."
"What, you thought I was serious, you dumbfuck?"
"I don't care if you were seious, I think I will run away. But, my shift doesn't end for another two hours. Is she still out there?"
"Yep, she's still out there, Lefty."
"Good, I'm gonna go confront her."
"Are you sure you want to do that?"
"Yes, now stay here." With that comment Arnold emerged from the store room and walked up to Helga.
"Hey, watch where you're going, you idiot! Why are your eyes all puffy? Were you crying you football-headed little baby?"
"Okay Helga. I'm going to ring up your dress for you now."
"Fine. But I'm not giving you a tip."
Arnold glanced up at Helga and said in monotone, "We aren't allowed to get tips, Helga."
"Oh, well, whatever, footballhead."
The two walked to the register, Arnold carrying Helga's purchase. After Helga paid for her dress, Arnold bagged it and slid it across the counter.
"Thank you for shoppipng at Slightly Irregular Womens Clothing and if you tell anyone else I'm gay, I'll kill you. Now get out."
"Fine, whatever, footballhead."
Helga grabbed her bag and stormed out of the store. Leaning against a lightpost, she sighed.
"Oh, my sweet oblong shaped head of a love has touched this.. and it's going to touch me.. I'll never wash it! Never never never never never never never! Waitaminute, gay? Oh what cruel fate has been bestowed upon me! My one true love, a homosexual!"
(chapter 1)
"You and your goddamn skirt, you look like a goddamn faggot!"
"Helga, you know that's not nice. You shouldn't judge people on their outward appearances. It's not a skirt anyway!"
"Yeah, that's exactly what a queer would say!"
"Fuck off, Helga!"
Helga watched in amazement as Arnold stormed off into the storeroom of Slightly Irregular Womens Clothing.
"Crimeny, what's up with him? All I wanted was a slightly irregular pink dress."
Meanwhile, as Arnold sobs in the storeroom, kept company only by his right handed alter ego..
"She knows I'm gay, she knows I'm gay.. She's going to tell everybody, I know it.."
"She doesn't know you're gay, you dumbass."
"She does too, and don't say that, that's a bad word."
"She doesn't know. She's just insulting you."
"No ones that mean. People don't say things like that unless they know they're true."
"Fine, fine. She knows you're a blatent homosexual. why don't you just run away to Canada, you wimpy left handed queer?"
"Hey, that's not so bad of an idea, Righty."
"What, you thought I was serious, you dumbfuck?"
"I don't care if you were seious, I think I will run away. But, my shift doesn't end for another two hours. Is she still out there?"
"Yep, she's still out there, Lefty."
"Good, I'm gonna go confront her."
"Are you sure you want to do that?"
"Yes, now stay here." With that comment Arnold emerged from the store room and walked up to Helga.
"Hey, watch where you're going, you idiot! Why are your eyes all puffy? Were you crying you football-headed little baby?"
"Okay Helga. I'm going to ring up your dress for you now."
"Fine. But I'm not giving you a tip."
Arnold glanced up at Helga and said in monotone, "We aren't allowed to get tips, Helga."
"Oh, well, whatever, footballhead."
The two walked to the register, Arnold carrying Helga's purchase. After Helga paid for her dress, Arnold bagged it and slid it across the counter.
"Thank you for shoppipng at Slightly Irregular Womens Clothing and if you tell anyone else I'm gay, I'll kill you. Now get out."
"Fine, whatever, footballhead."
Helga grabbed her bag and stormed out of the store. Leaning against a lightpost, she sighed.
"Oh, my sweet oblong shaped head of a love has touched this.. and it's going to touch me.. I'll never wash it! Never never never never never never never! Waitaminute, gay? Oh what cruel fate has been bestowed upon me! My one true love, a homosexual!"