I'm new at this writing thing, so bear with me please. I dont own twilight, the wonderful SM does.

Hi, my name is Isabella Marie Swan. I go by Bella, or Swan depending on whose talking to me. I'm 27 years old, single like really really single. I work in a coffee shop as a general manager but I long to be a writer. I didn't realize I wanted to be a writer until I graduated a very expensive trade school and worked in so called field for two years. Waste of $36,000 dollars is you ask me. I live alone in a small apartment complex, you know the apartment complex in Melrose place. Like that except I am surrounded by old people that smell of ben gay and moth balls. Here is my life in a nut shell.

I've been over weight my whole life, well as soon as I was in the second grade I was a normal happy skinny kid. Then that summer it all changed I got fat. I have lived with it my whole life, nothing new to me. I don't know why I am fat, I have had an ok life. Nothing too traumatizing. Then again someone always has something from their child hood that has screwed them up. I can name so many excuses as to why still at 27 I am overweight. This is the only thing I know, I'm lazy, I like food, I don't care about myself, but when it comes down to it I just have no motivation. Well this year I am wishing I get some motivation.

I don't date, I don't even know how to flirt. I have never had a boyfriend. I have been too busy with my school and work. I live vicariously thru my friend's love lives. I have had sex, I'm not that much of a recluse. It was only a few times with a guy that I really didn't care for. It wasn't all its cracked up to be. I was never the type of girl that was like I am going to wait until I get married. screw that, I knew early on that probably wasn't in the picture for me. Even though I dream about getting married one day for some reason I just don't see it happening. Any ways so I was with this guy maybe a total of 3 times. I don't think he really knew what he was doing, but neither did I for that matter. I also have a lot of trust issues, I'm afraid every little thing I do will embarrass me, therefore I don't do anything when it comes to men.

So I see myself becoming that old cat lady, just like the one two apartments down from me. She has like ten million cats. Some have even migrated to my place. I'm too much like my mother, I see an animal and I want it. I feed them or give them milk and they just keep coming back and crapping on my porch and eating all my tuna because I don't think to pick up cat food at the grocery store. My friends, I think they pity me sometimes but when I come out on my porch to read a book and a silly cat jumps on my lap and sits with me its just I don't know, peaceful. I think that is the only time I am truly content.

I grew up with two parents. They didn't really like each other. My mom drank her sorrows away and my dad was a mean man and a cop to boot. Mean and cop just go together don't they? When I was 9 years old my mother moved out. She wanted me to go with her but because my friends and school were where my dad was. I stayed with him. That and I didn't really know what to do, I just wanted to crawl into the corner and never come out. My mom lived a life I didn't even know about. I didn't see her often but I talked to her everyday on the phone, it wasn't until I was 15 that I hung out with her every Saturday. We went over to her friends shop and helped out, and then my mom and her friend would get plastered after the shop closed. I think I was her excuse to go out every Saturday so she could get drunk. Her new boyfriend didn't like her drinking, so I was her scapegoat. I love my mother don't get me wrong, people make mistakes. She has traits that a lot of people don't agree with but I learn from her bad traits and refuse to do the same things she did. Well my dad he's another story, he means well I know he does, and I know he loves me with all his heart but that didn't stop him from being a nasty fuck when he wanted to be. I moved out when I was 18 and have been on my own ever since. I am still in contact with my parents but just don't hang out with them except for holidays and the few Saturdays here and there. They live in Seattle, I live in Forks. A good 3 hours away.

So after I went to school,I went straight into work. I work on average 6 days a week, about 60-70 hrs a week. That doesn't leave me much time to have a social life. I have two close friends, have been friends with them since high school. Both I see on a regular basis. Alice is an elementary school teacher, she is eccentric to say the least. She is very opinionated and if you don't agree with her she will fight with you until you agree. She is fun to be around, Alice gets me out of the house. She is really into astrological signs, just tell her what your sign is and she will give you a run down on the things you like, how you act, what your compatible sign is and so forth. My second friend is Rose, Rosalie. Beautiful name isn't it? Yeah well she's stunning, every time we go out the men just gravitate towards her. Forget I am sitting right next to her, its like no one else exists except for Rose. She doesn't let it get to her head, she's extremely smart as well, she stays at home no job per say. Rose does do a lot of charity work and by charity I mean me. Her and Emmett are trying to procreate, haven't had much luck but I think this will be a good year for them. Rose was meant to be a mother. Both of them have met their soul mates, please soul mates! Who believes that shit any more? I do have to admit Jasper and Emmett do seem like they were made for Alice and Rose. I think I got jipped in that department; no one out there was "made" for me.

It was another long day at work, crappy guests that come in thinking their shit doesn't stink and that my staff and I don't know what we are doing with our lives there fore we serve them coffee. Whatever I just grin and bear it. I make a decent living, I can afford things that I want, I am debt free. So for right now I will stick with what I am doing. My writing can be my secret life that no one knows about, I can have a different pen name. They used to do that back in the day, hell I can pretend I am a man. No one will read my stuff so who cares? I finally left the shop, traffic was a bitch, the music on the radio station gets boring after a while so I couldn't wait to get home. I pulled up, parked, locked my car. Stopped by the gates at the community mailbox and picked up my mail. This is what I do day in and day out. Today was no different, or was it? Someone new was moving in, they had movers as well. Funny how old people accumulate so much money they can afford movers. Not me I'm afraid, I moved that shit in myself, well of course I had Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett to help but still. I wonder what kind of person was moving in, a sweet little grandmother or a horny old man that had nothing better to do then hit on me whenever I got my mail. As I was walking to my apartment just one spot down from the new person I happened to sneak a peak and what I saw I think I almost fainted right there, well I was knocked out cold but not from fainting I walked right into one of the cement columns. Did I happen to mention I don't have one ounce of grace in me? Yeah well I don't. I woke up to some nasty smelling shit and the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my entire life.

Well if anyone is reading out there, leave me some love....good or bad thanks :)