I awaken with a scream, the breath dying in my throat as soon as it left it, she pulls me close, holding me like a child until my breathing becomes more even and I am able to catch up with my racing heart and my head becomes less fuzzy. Nightmares - the dreams that come when I least expect it - paralysing fear, my only weakness apart from her. Most of the time they don't even make sense but still they wake me from rightful sleep and cause me to scream into the darkness, the darkness which will never leave me no matter how hard I try.
I look up at her, the wide eyed terror still evident in my eyes and she smiles softly down at me - I am a moth to her flame. I know the irony in this - I am supposed to be 'all powerful' but truth is she has more power over me than she'll ever begin to realise - than I can convey into words. Anywhere she went I would follow her as surely as a lamb. She has no idea that she can bring me to my knees with her voice, with her touch. I burn for her as she burns for me, I hunger for her touch, her kiss, her caress. When my times comes I will die happy because I have tasted a piece of heaven and its name is Christine.
She pulls me closer and runs her free hand down my cheek to cup my chin. In her eyes I can see forever, I see my own mirrored and again I feel the sting of tears blind me... and again I'm weeping. Great sobs shake my body and I'm lost and found at the same time, my soul bare to the one who guards me, to the one I would lay down my life for without a second thought. Words could not explain the depths of my feelings for her, music could not explain the depths of how far she is engraved into me - as much a part of me as even myself. Every breath I take I love her more, every tear I cry is like a baptism of fire in my soul but it is all for her - everything I have ever done is for her. I bury my face into chest and let wave and wave of emotion run over my body.
She whispers words of love into my ear, words that comfort and tease and pull at my heart making me want to shout my love for her from the very rooftops. Without her by my side I am absolutely nothing - my life is nothing if she is not in it. I am hers as completely as she is mine - mind body and soul I lay at her feet for just a moment by her side.
She lifts me up by my chin and wipes each stray tear with her thumb. Bending down from her vantage point above me she kisses me on the forehead, the nose and finally the lips, as softly as heaven itself. In her eyes I see more than she can ever say in words alone - a look that I have been longing for - no pity, no anger, only love and complete devotion. She sighs contentedly and whispers: "I Love You Erik" and again I find myself choking back the tears as I echo her words - the three most important words I have ever said in my 50 years on this earth and for ever more. Pulling myself closer to her I rest my head on her shoulder and she hums a soft lullaby and sleep claims a willing victim.
She holds me close and I am one with her,
She holds me close and I am calm,
She holds me close,
And I weep into her chest and send thanks to a God who up until she entered my life I thought had forsaken me.
I cling to her for dear life for I'm afraid that if she lets me go I'll drown,
In my want, my need, my loneliness if shes not by my side.
I sleep safe in the knwoledge that my angel will always watch over me.
"In the arms of an Angel fly away from here From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie You're in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here"