Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the associated characters. I also do not own the song this is based on.
Hope you guys enjoy it, it's short but I think it works.
When You See The Cherry Blossoms.
It's unseasonably cold for April but I am well prepared for harsh weather, smothered in layer after layer of clothing. He used to mock me for my insistence upon layers and they would frustrate him no end when we were alone but he never complained. He accepted I built my barriers physically and mentally and they would only come down delicately, one brick at a time.
And with his Potter charm he brought them down, gently at first then he frantically tore at them. I was exposed, he knew me so fully. I did not even know things about myself he did…
Recently it's been impossible to erase him from my mind and I know it's the haunting changes of Spring, his season. The time of rebirth, of renewal…
A dash of black unruly hair in the corner of my eye whips my head round but it's not him…it never is.
My feet have gained their own form of intelligence and I no longer have any control over their wanderings. Unfortunately they have none of my mind's distinct distaste of remembering and they lead me somewhere horribly familiar.
There are two of them and their branches tangle. Their frank beauty brings his face to my mind and his perfect image floats in front of me.
The sharp, pinkness of their flowers bring me his cheeks, flushed with the slight April wind and his eagerness. His obsession with these trees I never understood, especially when he delighted in the falling petals falling on his unruly hair and the feel of them between his fingers
But even though I could not understand his behaviour, in those moments, although I never told him, I loved him uncontrollably. My chest constricting as I watch the joy light his eyes and I fought for any possible way to bottle his stark innocence.
Now their branches are offensive, a reminder of him.
His delicate laughter masking the seriousness of his words…
"But try to remember me when you see the cherry blossoms."
Silly man, thinking I could ever forget him. Did he honestly believe I needed an infernal and practically useless plant to bring his face to me?
Although I fell for him completely I was never unrealistic, we both knew what we had was fleeting. How could it not be? He was much too young to handle my bitterness and I was much too old to warm to his suffocating happiness, his simple joy at finally living his life.
But now I cannot escape the memories.
But I also cannot rid myself of the haunting thoughts of his present, is he enjoying this suffocating season with someone else. I hope he is, I could not handle the thought he was missing me.
I am meant to miss him, he should never long for me.
I needed him and he taught me how to be human. How to love and though I will never love anyone else the lesson was needed, I know understand his overwhelming power and Lily's. I will never resent another's joy, I appreciate how precious those moments are and how you despair when they leave you.
For Harry I could do anything and sacrifice everything and all he ever asked was that I let him go…
My feet begin journeying again until I am under the braches, I lean against the trunk and slide down until I am resting in the slightly moist earth at the bottom and my long legs are stretched out in the damp grass.
Another memory hits me, our first Spring.
He grabbed my hand and ran, I puffed behind him, my fitness slipping after the lazy years of inaction following the war. Suddenly he halted and I ran flat into his back, despite his lithe build he did not yield to my weight against him. Smiling he pulled me against him.
"Where's the infamous Snape composure now?" he laughed, his eyes glittery excitedly in the afternoon sunshine.
"Back there with my energy, what are we doing here Potter?"
He raised his arm and motioned in their direction.
The stood, majestic and elegant, the heavy weight of the candyfloss pink petals not hindering them at all. Below them, the scattered dashes of pink looked like confetti and only added to their striking beauty.
By the time I had drunk in the sights of the trees he was already under their shelter and had a pile of the pink mass in his hands.
"Sev!" he called to me.
I walked calmly to him, trying to contain the smile that threatened as he giggled.
When I stood in front of him he leaned forward and placed a delicate kiss on my lips and winked, then as I expected, he showered the pile of petals over my head. They caught in my hair like raindrops.
"April showers," he laughed.
"Of stupid pink petals?"
"You think they are pretty really."
I did not reply, my silence taken as a positive answer as Harry continued to scatter the flowers around me, a silly grin plastered across his features.
Finally, I took a few steps back and watched him. He had tapped one of the branches and stared above him as the petals scattered over him as he spun in circles. His cheeks the same shade of pink as the petals which poured over him.
I sigh and take a clump of the vicious pink shreds beside me and sprinkle them on the ground to my right. Their attraction has dissolved like his presence and all I can do is imagine him and try to recall their before affect.
I hear a peal of laughter behind me and look round the other side of the tree.
She's beautiful, her blonde hair curls in a waterfall down her shoulders and her eyes sparkle like sapphires in the rays of the April sunshine. Her lime green Mac is open and she's wearing a long string of pearls which also catch the light and sparkle.
In her extended hand lay a pile of the rotting leaves, their pinkness harsh to her creamy skin. With a smile to her partner she blows the flowers over him and he laughs back, the dimples in his cheeks distorting his face.
I watch them for an unknown amount of them, relishing their frolicking without envy. They deserve these cherished moments of happiness before the storm…
Finally I regain control of my feet and tear myself away from the trees and I step back onto the harsh concrete pavements, away from his wonderful memory and back to my blank existence.
But this time I cannot walk away, his words dance in my mind, they sing, they scream.
"Try to remember me when you see the cherry blossom."
I can't see the insulting flowers but his face is still there.
He promised me I could forget him all the other times…
But I can't…
I reach into my pockets and there they are, the silken renaments of Harry James Potter and as I rub my fingers over them, I hear the soft whisper of his words…
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