Disclaimer: I'm neither Joss Whedon nor Stan Lee, and do not own Marvel. Also, Alice Blackwood is the creation of the wonderful chernaya_aliska on AO3.
Warnings: Excessive swearing, fluff, and the appearance of one Wanda Maximoff; not meant for Team Cap fans.
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."
-Victor Hugo
"Do you know how much money you assholes cost me?"
Tony winced. It would seem that Rhodey had wasted no time in finding the strong stuff, judging from the slightly slurred words and, of course, the half-empty glass of brandy in his hand, his written speech abandoned. So much for a sober best man.
"I mean, seriously, three more goddamn days - was it that hard for you to keep your libidos in check, Tony - "
"In fairness, Rhodes, it took two to tango," Alice Blackwood interjected with a shudder, much to Tony's glee - it had been a good day, to say the least. James, on the other hand was alternately blushing and snickering into Tony's shoulder. "I may enjoy the view as much as the next person, but Christ - "
"Not the point, Alice. Three. More. Days. Three - Three days!" Yep. Definitely drunk, Rhodey bear.
"I came this close - this close! - to winning the pot after putting up with all of the damn sexual tension for so long, but no - these emotionally constipated idiots manage to get their act together, right before I finally manage to win a hundred bucks off of the lovely Director Blackwood over there. Seriously, everyone, you all have no idea how painful it was, watching these two give each fucking - cow eyes every time they were convinced that the other's back was turned -"
"I live with Summers and Grey, bub; think I've got a pretty good idea." Logan called out; said mutants grinned sheepishly.
"Just, forget a knife," Rhodey continued undeterred. "A-A machete was needed to cut through the lovey-dovey stupidity." Tony grinned, giving his best friend a look of faux naïveté while clutching his arc reactor.
"But honey bear - "
"Shut up, Tony, I'm not done yet. At least do an old man - "
"Hah! You finally admit it - "
"-the favor of letting him finish before you and Barnes publicly proclaim your eternal love to each other again and we all get diabetes from the sugar - and I'm not that old, dammit." Rhodey finished, a familiar gleam of goddamnit Tony why in his eyes before he turned back to their amused motley audience, mostly consisting of New Avengers, really random Asgardians - seriously, why the fuck was Loki here, he should just give up attempting to be sneaky, Tony knew it was him - X-Men, and the Fantastic Four, a very uncomfortable-looking Johnny Storm included Tony noted with a little pity. Poor kid should probably consider dying his hair or something. Wouldn't do to get punched out by Happy again.
"And you know the worst thing, and I'm not talking about the walking in on them acting like horny teenagers bit - which does not make it better, Tones," He added, eyes narrowed in an attempt at drunken mock intimidation. "I have no desire to see your pasty ass all over my Compound. No, the point is, it's not that."
"It's just how fucking much they care and make each other better." Startled, Tony glanced at his better half, who only held his gaze with a familiar look. Damn it, James. It should be illegal to give someone that face.
"From day one, these two were dancing around each other and fixing each other's emotional shit, which I can totally get behind, considering, well everything. And then. And then, they fell in love, and had the nerve to be constipated morons who we really should have just locked in a closet and gotten it over with, because really, there's only so much I can take from such pains in my ass who are just fucking perfect for each other, when I actually have a life, especially when you two - Jesus fucking Christ, you two." Rhodey swallowed and tilted his head back, blinking furiously at the ceiling. Oh, that's ... not expected.
Tony stood up and placed a hand on his shoulder, unsure of what to do with this situation. "Alright, excitement's over, Platypus, I love you too."
He gently took the microphone as the colonel took a ragged breath in and sat down while Tony fired off a cheery "That's all, folks!" before handing it off to his new husband, one James Buchanan Barnes.
"And now, ladies, gentlemen, and undecided - big round of applause, please - thanks, Stephen, I told you, no fucking magic at my wedding - as I give you my even more wonderful partner and husband, James Barnes!" As his aforementioned partner stood up, Tony gave him a kiss on the cheek as he sat down.
"Thanks, doll," James replied fondly, before sobering as he started his speech. "I wouldn't be here today without Tony. When I was first pardoned and came here, I was quite simply, a mess. I had only one arm, a head full of triggers, and felt the entire world was out to get me. And then, I came to a place I had been told would kill me given half a chance. You all know about my ... tenure as the Winter Soldier, what I did. Tony knew better than most."
The room was deathly silent. Tony's eyes were fixed on James. "He was under no obligation whatsoever, and would have been more than justified to hate my existence, want nothing to do with me or anything related to me."
James turned, and took the mechanic's hand, a small, genuine smile playing on his lips before turning back to their transfixed audience.
"But as you all know, Tony being, well, Tony, he didn't. Instead, he took it upon himself to give me a home, a new arm, a family - " Suddenly he broke off, staring hard at the floor for a minute. When he started to talk again, his voice was rough. "Tony gave me myself back - as Colonel Rhodes so aptly put it, made me better."
The world could have ended at that very moment, and Tony would have been the happiest fucking man alive, pinned by that look.
"And I thank the universe every day for it. Solnishko, ya lyubyu tebya." He put the mike down as applause rang through the reception, and Tony stood up to take the mike and reveled in the warm feeling, for once, in his chest as he reached across his husband for the microphone.
"And on that note, I am dragging him away from you all for hot monkey sex. Don't bother looking for either of us for the next three days. Rhodey, this means you." Cue the groans, the genius-billionaire-philanthropist-no-longer-playboy thought gleefully, and, "Damn it, Tony, I said no sex in the Compound!" echoed through the room.
"Dance first, Tony." Tony looked at the dark-haired man pleadingly, hoping for an early escape before being forced to fraternize with Reed Goddamn Richards of all people, who was currently eyeing as Tony in a way all too well - that is, the I-fully-intend-to-argue-with-you-for-two-hours-when-any-sane-being-knows-to-leave-portals-alone-already way.
"James, love of my life - " Very deliberately, he ignored the fact that he was fighting a losing battle against a forties man who was insisted on traditions at the strangest times, Tony shamelessly gave him the biggest puppy eyes he could muster - even Rhodey had issues with them when Tony broke those bad boys out. Sadly, it would seem the Winter Soldier was immune to such tactics as he wielded his own weaponry.
"It's tradition - please?"
Fuck it. I am calling Governor Osborn in the morning and having him make that expression illegal in the state of New York.
"James?"
"Yeah?"
"You make life worth living for me, too."
"Loki, I know you are there, underneath that glamour." In his guise as yet another favored employee invited to Stark and Barnes's wedding, Loki did not flinch when Thor approached him from behind, two glasses in his hands.
"I do hope you are not about to make a scene, Thor. It would be dreadfully dull of you." His idiot brother smiled, and took the relatively neutral barb as an invitation to sit. He took a deep drink from one glass of Midgardian alcohol before offering the other to Loki, who only looked at it with disdain. Thor placed it on the table in front of them, and shifted his gaze to the focus of Loki's attention: the two grooms.
"There is no shame for tears on this joyous day of union for our comrades." At this, Loki did whip his head to him, eyebrow raised in challenge.
"I have not the faintest idea of what you speak."
"I merely wish to tell you that there is no shame in weeping upon this good day." The oaf of thunder blandly replied, face earnest. "Anthony and James are an excellent match, and will do well together."
The god of mischief did not reply, and the two not-yet-were siblings sat in silence that was comfortable - for them.
"They are well suited." Loki admitted at last, eyes still locked upon the oblivious couple, still swaying to the music. Unconsciously, he took note of the newly-disappeared strain from the Man of Iron's shoulders, and the faint new laugh lines upon the face of the Soldier of Winter.
Neither sibling spoke for some time, until the last strains of the ballad disappeared, and Thor stood up.
"I must rejoin my Lady Jane, brother."
The blond Asgardian left, but it was another minute or so before Loki rose, and strode the door, still in his guise as yet another mortal. But before making his exit, he lingered at the door. Finally, he spoke in a strange, formal tone. "I wish you nothing but the best; James Barnes, Anthony Stark, may you live in interesting and blessed times."
He turned and walked out into the night before vanishing, leaving nothing but broken cameras, a brief trail of prints and the faintest echo of a cackle for befuddled guards to discover later.
As Jane conversed with her partner and Hope Van Dyne about her latest advancements in the Einstein-Rosen bridge, the son of Odin smiled. His brother's blessing would prove extraordinarily ... fitting to such unique individuals.
He missed her, sometimes.
Not during the day, or even at night, most of the time; but when he had only the ghost of another anchoring him, or could see such pure happiness humans found together, of the kind Tony and James had found, something in his chest hurt; he still couldn't quite understand it, though. Vision certainly didn't miss her personality. Even with all of JARVIS's knowledge and the power of the Mind Stone at his virtual fingertips, he could never quite understand just what it would take for someone to so casually betray someone they cared about, someone they lo-
Unless, of course, said person never actually cared at all. That would make it quite easy, as history showed.
"Vision, there you are!" Snapped out of his thoughts, Vision looked to see the source of the disturbance: an approaching Virginia "Pepper" Potts, resplendent in a green evening gown. Accompanying her, he noted with interest as he stood, was a kind-looking man in a wheelchair, and a striking woman with shining white hair.
"Professor, Ororo, I would like you to meet the Vision. Vision, I'd like you to meet Professor Charles Xavier of the X-Men - " Pepper introduced, gesturing with a slight smile to the now recognizable man in the chair. Vision shook his hand.
"An honor to meet you, sir. I've read your paper on compassion and human condition - I found it to be extremely enlightening; you write very well." Professor Xavier smiled, somewhat awkwardly - no, sheepishly.
"I must admit, I had some help on that one. An old friend." He responded. The android was surprised to note that his mouth tightened at the mention of his friend - a common sign of negative emotion in humans, he knew. Usually, it was a common sign of grief. But before he could ponder any further, Pepper continued.
"And one of his colleagues, as well as an old friend of mine: Miss Ororo Munroe - though you may know her better as Storm." Oddly enough, Pepper's grin widened as she introduced her old friend. Vision smiled, and enacted a rather old-fashioned Earth tradition - nonetheless, Tony claimed it was a good idea when meeting an attractive woman to kiss her hand.
It seemed effective, as Miss Munroe gave him a genuine smile. Objectively - and subjectively, to be honest - it was quite aesthetically pleasing.
"It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Munroe."
"The pleasure is all mine, Mister Vision - but please, call me Ororo." The android's own grin widened, and oddly enough, felt hope.
She had only the link between her and Vision to preserve her hope, created during his birth. Tragically, she could no longer access it, not after one of Stark's allies, calling himself a "Sorcerer Supreme" - a fancy title for another killer, she just knew - had chosen to visit her. He had the same arrogance, and had possessed the nerve to take away her powers, despite her clear self-control and how she had never done anything bad - she, after all, had been told by the so-called captain it wouldn't matter, that she was just a kid.
Now, she could do nothing, couldn't reach out to him, her last connection, as it frayed, day by day - a work of Stark, no dou-
Wait-
Why, why was it suddenly so dark -
There had been no shock, no sudden disappearance, no ending of her vision - just nothing. Like she had been nothing in the first place but that cou-
There would be no last-minute rescue, no infatuated AI savior for the witch.
There in her cell, Wanda Maximoff began to scream, as another took her imagined place to move forward, happy.
As Vision took a cautious sip of the cocktail Miss - Ororo had gotten for him while she laughed, he suddenly ... twitched, oddly enough.
"Vision, are you all right?" Ororo inquired, freely showing concern instead of the interest and amusement she had nearly broadcasted for the past fifteen minutes and twenty-six seconds. Vision slowly nodded, considering as he ran an internal check of his systems.
"I thought I had felt ... something. Almost as if I had felt a string snap, but now, I feel ... I would almost say ... free. But I am now - more than fine, is the phrase, I believe." The African woman grinned, mild relief now prevalent in her body language.
"Dear, as long as you're sure. Now, I believe you were about to explain why Mister Stark name a robot 'dummy'." Vision gladly acquiesced, but before continuing, he ran one last diagnostic at the odd feeling he was in possession of before he realized the emotion he was feeling was what Tony called excitement. He was - happy.
"Funnily enough, Richards, closing portal after shoving the anti-matter creature does not in fact qualify you as anything more than your own inverse! Do something other than create a mess and clean it up for once, and for the love of Science!, stay the hell away from other dimensions!"
Infuriated by the other man, Tony stalked off to find his husband, who was quietly listening to Harley Keener chatter away about his latest invention. Tony stepped beside him and slid his arm around his waist.
"Say, how about we say our niceties to everyone and then blow this - "
But before Tony could clarify as to what would be blown, there was a giant crash as something - - and it was fucking huge - hurtled out of the sky, and took out the wall furthest from Tony and James, knocking nearly everyone to the ground.
But as the dust and debris slowly cleared, no one wasted any time in reaching for their closest weapon as they rose. The Winter Soldier stood up in front of Tony, Sig-sauer in hand and unerringly aimed into the settling cloud; likewise, Tony had activated his gauntlet and already called the suit, Thor planted himself in front of Darcy and his Lady Jane with Mjölnir raised, the X-Men and Vision formed a ring around Xavier, the Fantastic Four came together back-to-back, clones and other dimensions forgotten, and every vigilante and soldier in the room pulled their weapon of choice out from beneath their formal wear.
But before the Hulk could do more than roar, every last SI employee, vigilante, and hero became fixated on what was without a doubt, one of the strangest sights Tony - or anyone else, including the Wolverine - had ever seen.
A racoon, of all things, had stepped out first, and it was eyeing James's arm rather disturbingly as what looked like a tree stood behind him. Tony glanced over at a bemused Betsy Braddock, who only responded in his mind, wonderingly, They're real.
Yeah, no fucking shit, sweetheart. But what the hell are they?
Suddenly, every superhero in the room tensed as a large, colorful humanoid - easily as tall as Thor - stepped forward and raised his arms.
"HELLO! We come in peace, from a faraway planet, in search of the Man of Iron, whose deeds are of great renown throughout the galaxy!" Beside the odd being, a shorter, blonde man face-palmed and groaned as Tony's mind - his genius, beautiful, mind - froze.
"Drax ..."
Wait just a minute -
Rhodey stepped forward, face grim. "Identify yoursel-"
"YES!" Tony shrieked triumphantly. "Rogers, you can kiss my sweet ass - I. Was. RIGHT!"
A/N: My first foray out of Harry Potter! Really nervous about writing these characters for the first time, but I hope I did them justice.
I was inspired by this one after reading chernaya_aliska's marvelous Winter's End over on Archive of Our Own, which I fully recommend checking out - it is bloody fantastic. This entire thing is essentially an AU of her story, with full permission from said author. Went a little crazy with the crossover and all the cliches, but what can you do? ;)
-Solnishko, ya lyubyu tebya: Russian (According to Google Translate). Translates as "Sun, [Endearment] I love you."