Tsuki no Kazahana: Snowflakes of the Moon
Author's Note: This story contains boy/boy situations, so if you don't like that kind of stuff, don't read. Otherwise, enjoy the story and R&R.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything related to or of the Rockman Exe. Series.
Pairing: Netto x Tohru
Summary:
Hikari Netto always thought he knew what "love" meant. That is, until a shocking confession forces him into seclusion on a weeklong vacation away from his Net Savior duties.
…
Chapter 1: Light
"I like you."
"What?"
"Wait, no…That's not enough. I-I love you."
The words had entered his ears sharply, boring the moment into his mind…a timeless moment in which only silence lingered. He had tried to gather his thoughts, but his mind had drawn a blank, just as it did now.
Prior to hearing those infinitely nebulous words, the teenager had concentrated solely on enjoying his vacation. For his outstanding work in aiding the Net Police as a Net Savior of Japan, Hikari Netto and a friend of his choice had been awarded with a week's worth of paid vacation in Ameroupe. The accommodations were fancy and relaxing, yet had lost their luster the second he hit the bed.
"I like you. No, I love you. I like you. No, I love you. I like you. No, I love you…" The same phrases repeated themselves in his head. It was an endless chatter that wound down to an unavoidable conclusion: He loved Netto.
"I wish Rockman were here. He'd know what to do," Netto murmured to himself, remembering that he had left his Navi with his parents the morning of his flight. "Why couldn't anyone else have come along? Why did it have to be him?"
Even though he was telling himself this, Netto could not escape the truth. He had welcomed his friend's company with open arms. Everyone else had refused his offer, stating that they were too busy or too sick to travel with him. Now he understood their true reasons for leaving him alone.
They had known all along. It was as simple as that. They knew that he was interested. They knew that he would accept without question, and that is why they refused.
Netto mentally kicked himself for not seeing it sooner. "He followed me around a lot…We played and ate together at the school fair…He only smiled while I was around. Why was I so stupid? Was I really that blind?"
His eyes concentrated on the golden ceiling of the hotel above the bed, decorated with singing angels and harpists on clouds. It did little to quell his troubled psyche.
"So this is what people call love. Not love for a parent or love for pet, but love for another person. I never thought it could be so painful for the person being loved…me. Is that all he sees? Me? Does he think I'm hot? Is that why he's checking me out? No, it can't be…I know him, he would never-"
That's when the brunette realized how little he actually did know.
"He's a stranger. Ever since we met, and up until now, he's been a stranger to me. I barely know anything about him. His childhood, his favourite foods, his favourite TV show…I know jack squat! And what do I have to say about it in the end? Nothing! I'm just acting like my stubborn self, trying to comprehend something that I shouldn't even care about! Is it so hard for me to just skip over this as if it had never happened and get on with my life? What the hell is wrong with me?"
The answer was immediate, and it sent a shiver up his spine.
"I lost it. I lost my temper over a few words. I was afraid…afraid that he was judging me, afraid that he would look at me differently, afraid of being loved. So loud…I yelled so loud that everyone at the outdoor ice skating rink heard me."
He started to cry, tears welling up in his eyes and spilling over his reddened cheeks.
"Stay away from me! I'm not like that!" Netto recalled the distress in his own scream.
"And I pushed him. Down onto the ice…and I heard him yelp as my hands collided with his body. He scraped his knee as he fell. I saw the blood. Then he looked at me with a sad expression, his lips twisted in agony and his eyes filled with tears as mine are now. He said nothing to me…just stared at me and wept. Other skaters gathered around to see what had happened. He didn't try to get up. They didn't help him up either. I couldn't take it…The dozens of eyes trained on me and my foul deed. But the pair that affected me the most was his. The two deep brown spheres unfalteringly cast themselves upon me. I felt mad, weak, traumatized, and violated all at once. Those orbs focussed on my every movement, waiting for me to crack. Not even the beads of sweat that ran off the edges of my face were missed…I could tell. Maybe I would have offered him a hand up had I stayed longer. Maybe we could have spoken after the event and worked things out…But we didn't. I ran off…Away from the shock, away from the silence, away from those ill-enduring eyes. Was I wrong? I was scared. Wasn't that reason enough? Reason for what? Reason to push him? No matter how much I think back on what transpired at the time, four hours ago by now I think, I can't come up with a clear answer to that question. He probably hates me now. It's better if he hates me. That way, we'll never have to mention this to each other or anyone ever again! Then I can finally have some peace…perhaps do a little netbattling, and…Who am I kidding?"
He wiped away the tears with his sleeve.
"I'm such an idiot. Saving the world from the Darkloids wasn't half the burden this is. I'm such an idiot…Idiot, idiot, idiot…! I'll say it a hundred times if it will just go away. I should have said it then, the second he fell I should have said it…but everything went wrong. I messed up…I always mess up. I'll say it again! I am such an idiot! Please…someone make it go away…Please, I'm begging you…Make it stop. What will it take? I-I'll give you anything! I don't want…to be…hated…"