A/N: This is written by me and Josefine, (awezumee at AO3)
"Oh, hai gun barrel!" Johnny said as he put the di- thing in his mouth. Suddenly the door flung open and Denny's body appeared in the doorway.
"Oh hi Johhny, what's up?" Denny D asked while throwing his football into the air. He didn't catch it. Damn.
"Oh hi Denny, nothing really. Just about to shoot myself" Johnny answered.
"I can't hear you because of that thing in your mouth," Denny said confusedly.
"Oh sorry" Johnny said and pulled the thing out of his mouth. Denny seemed relieved, finally being able to hear what Johnny said.
"Denny can you go and buy me a dozen red roses please?" Johnny said in an attempt to get the kid out of the apartment. Denny was about to answer when suddenly Lisa ran into the room, hysterically screaming "WHAT IS GOING ON JASHFASK".
Johnny's Mark-dar went off as he heard more footsteps outside. "Oh hi Mark!" he shouted even before Mark was visible. Because Johnny was that talented. Everyone loved Johnny. Johnny for Jesus 2003. Mark immediately saw the football, and picked it up and left.
"Oh bye Mark," Johnny da king shouted after him, suddenly standing up. "I need to go to the flower shop," he said simply, and left after putting on his sunglasses.
Denny was waiting for Johnny outside the flower shop. "Oh hi Denny," Johnny said as if Denny hadn't just fucking teleported there.
"Hi Johnny, can I kiss Lisa?" Denny said apprehensively.
"No but you can marry that girl in the alley over there," Johnny said and pointed at a spoon.
"Okay! :D" Denny replied and bounced away towards the spoon, leaving Johnny to contemplate life as he entered the flower shop.
"I would like to buy a dozen of red roses" he loudly announced as he entered the shop, taking of his sunglasses.
"Oh hi Johnny I didn't know it was you" the woman behind the desk said surprisedly.
"How much is it?" Johnny asked as the woman reached for the already pre-made bouquet.
"That'll be eighteen dollars."
"HERE YOU GO KEEP THE CHANGE," Johnny said quickly as fuck and handed her the money. And speaking of money…
"What are you gonna do with the roses?" Denny asked with a big smile on his face.
"WHERE'S MY FUCKING MONEY DENNY?" a dodgy dude screamed as he entered the store as well, making it crowded since it was so damn tiny with loads of plants everywhere.
Denny reached for the money that Johnny had placed on the counter and rushed towards the drug dealer.
"Oh hi drug dealer" Johnny said, taken by surprise, and he was even more surprised when Mark dashed into the store and jumped at the drug dealer. This made Johnny want to do that as well, and they both managed to grab the dude.
"We're taking him to the police," Johnny said seriously and exited the shop with the drug dealer and Mark.
After just five seconds they were able to give the drug dealer to the police.
"You have to put this very dangerous man in jail" Mark said, and the police did exactly what he said, because that's what nice people do.
Suddenly remembering Denny, Johnny ran back to the flower shop and saw another argument going down.
"Where's my fucking money, Denny?" the lady behind the counter shouted, as she had been deprived of the flower money that Denny took from her.
"I'll give them to you in five minutes" Denny said when Johnny decided that this was a very dangerous woman. "WE'RE TAKING HER TO THE POLICE" Johnny shouted and jumped over the desk. Johnny went back to the police station, this time with a dangerous woman instead of a dangerous man since Johnny loved equality.
When the very dangerous woman was in jail as well, Denny came in through the bathroom door. "I have a confession to make," he started. No one answered. Since that's how The Room works. He continued. "I have parents."
"But Johnny is like a father to you" Lisa said, because she was apparently there as well.
"Their names…."
"Say it, Denny," Mark said. "I want to hear you say it."
"Their names are….."
"Their names are what?" Johnny said, tears streaming down his face. "Are you to afraid to say it? You're just a chicken, chip chip chip chip chip!"
"I CAN'T" Denny cried out.
"Johnny hit me," Lisa blurted out.
"I did naaaaawt, oh hi Mark" Johnny replied quickly. "You are lying, I never hit you. YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA!"
"But my parents?" Denny tried to interrupt Johnny.
"NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR PARENTS" Mark screamed.
"WE ARE HIS PARENTS" a man shouted as he and a ginger woman entered the police station.
"NO YOU'RE NOT!" Lisa shouted, crying.
"So… anyways, how is your sexlife?" Johnny said, turning to Mark. And then everything went dark.