This story is told from Garfield's, or Beast Boy's, point of view. Most of the story is told in flashbacks. BBRae oneshot. Enjoy!
I don't own Teen Titans. But you are all smart enough to figure that out, right?
I walked down the street on Halloween, my feet choosing their own route as my eyes watched the happy trick-or-treaters open their bags full of candy as the doors were flung open, their eyes begging for candy.
I smiled as one boy dressed in a green Tyrannosaurus Rex costume ran from behind me, saying, "Excuse me, Mister," as he went. His mother followed him, calling, "Wait for me, Jeremy!"
I chuckled as I remembered the last time I had been a Tyrannosaurus Rex. That dinosaur had been real, life-sized, and out for revenge. That time had been the last fight of the Teen Titans.
/Flashback/
The five of us were fighting the Brain and his minions, determined not to let them get away this time. The Doom Patrol was assisting us in our battle, as were the Titans East, Thunder and Lightning, and a few members of the HIVE who had realized the error of their ways.
We had managed to take down the Brain's three main assistants, and moved on to forcing our way through the circle of villains that circled the Brain. He shouted out orders in his robotic voice, giving his followers plans and strategies.
This we could deal with easily, being able to counter the plans we heard before we had to fight them. However, when the Brain started shouting out our weaknesses… That was when we lost control.
He had all of his minions concentrate of subduing Starfire, just to get inside Robin's head. Red X was the leader of that attack, and it was not long until Robin had gone mad with hate. With Starfire under the control of Red X, and Robin doing all he could to get at him, we had lost two of our best fighters.
Although what they had done to Starfire made something inside of me snap, it was nothing compared to what would have happened if they had concentrated on Raven. I had secretly liked her as more than a friend ever since Trigon had taken control of the world. Having to survive without her made me realize just how much Raven meant to me.
No sooner had I thought this than the Brain shouted out to Malchior in a strange language. Malchior morphed from a dragon into a man, and began countering all of Raven's spells with more powerful ones of his own. Cyborg and I had been concentrating on Mumbo Jumbo, Mad Mod, and Killer Moth, and were unable to help her.
Not long after, Malchior had captured Raven, and began whispering something in her ear. She groaned, moaning, "No. You can't make me. I will not be my mother!" At that time, I had no clue as to what she meant, but the thing that had snapped inside of me before broke into a million pieces.
I felt myself lose control of my body, becoming the Beast. I charged towards Malchior, sending countless Billy Numerouses flying. Malchior, who was too involved with whatever he was doing to Raven, did not notice me. I changed into a Tyrannosaurus Rex, roaring with a desire for revenge.
Raven had noticed me coming, and, almost as if she had planned for this, managed to extract herself from Malchior's grasp, just in the knick of time. My clawed foot came down on Malchior's vulnerable man form, crushing him.
I morphed back into my human form, and took Raven's limp form into my arms. She was trembling from head to toe. I stroked her hair lovingly, holding her tight against my chest. She turned so as to look up into my face, her eyes barely open. She smiled, before almost subconsciously snuggling closer to me, her head resting on my shoulder.
"I love you, Raven," I said, before lifting her weak body up off the ground so I was holding her like a husband holds his wife on their wedding day.
"I love you too," She said in barely more than a whisper, before closing her eyes.
/Flashback over/
My face abruptly turned from a slight smile into a frown as I remembered that battle. True, we had been successful in capturing and destroying the Brain and the rest of the Brotherhood of Evil, but because of that battle, Raven had become more distant with the rest of us.
I had expected the exact opposite, seeing as we had confessed our true feelings for one another. But the two of us had grown farther apart. Raven and I barely spoke, save the occasional, "Good morning," or "Good night." In fact, we hardly saw one another. Raven spent all her time locked up in her room, while I morphed into different animals and roamed through the city.
I still remember the fateful day Robin informed us he was leaving.
/Flashback/
It was the typical day in Jump City. Cyborg and I were having our usual argument about meat and tofu, mainly to keep the room from falling deathly silent. Raven was locked away in her room, and Starfire was visiting Tamaran.
Robin came into the living room. He carried a suitcase, and no longer wore his crime fighting suit. He had donned a suit and tie, and had combed his hair back neatly. Cyborg and I had still been immersed in our childish argument, and only noticed him when we heard the unfamiliar clack of formal loafers on the hard floor.
I hardly recognized our leader as he stood in front of us, a serious look on his face. The Robin we knew and loved had gone, to be replaced by someone who looked as if they were a business man.
"You're leaving," Cyborg let the words escape his mouth. Robin scratched a spot on his mask-less face in a self conscious way before answering.
"Yes," He said in a matter-of-fact tone that did not suit him. "I have been summoned to Gotham City as a result of the tragic death of Bruce insert last name here. I do not expect you to know this, but he was Batman. I will be taking over his crime fighting duties in Gotham City. I trust that you will be a good Titan leader, Cyborg."
I glanced over to where Cyborg stood. His half-robotic face still bore the look of shock that plainly said he had barely heard anything after Robin had uttered the word 'yes.'
"Does Starfire know?" I found the words coming out of my mouth as I turned back to face Robin.
"Yes," He said, looking at the ground for a split second before lifting his head up once more. "That-that's why she's visiting Tamaran. She didn't want to be here when I left." He reached into his jacket, and produced an envelope. He offered it to me, and I took it into my hands, feeling as if I was holding the order for someone's execution.
"There's a letter in here for each of you. Please give Starfire and Raven theirs for me."
Without another word, our friend, our leader, our brother, walked out of the door and left the Titans forever.
/End flashback/
I reached into the pocket of my jacket and pulled out a slightly yellow and crinkled piece of paper. It was ripped in some places from my constant smoothing and re-reading. It read,
Dear Beast Boy,
It is with my deepest regret that I must leave the Teen Titans. After our last fight with the Brain, I felt the growing tension between all of us, and knew that we must eventually separate and go our own ways.
I cannot tell you how much I am going to miss you. Although we never really had an opportunity to learn very much about each other, you were like a brother to me. You were the brother that always had a cheerful word no matter what, the person that could make me smile no matter what situation we were in.
My time with the Titans has been the happiest of my life. You were all there for me when I was under Slade's control; you were there to help us fight to get Cyborg out of Brother Blood's clutches; and you were there, fighting harder than the rest of us, when we had to fight to get Raven back safely.
I have many memories of the times I have had with you, and I know they will never fade away. I will always think of you as one of my very best friends, and just remember to call on me if you need anything. I must ask that you address me as Richard from now on. It is imperative that no one in Gotham City find out who Robin really is. I know I can trust you and the rest of the Titans with my secret, and please do not let these new safety precautions prevent you from contacting me.
My address and telephone number are as follows…
I stopped reading at this point, having no need to read Robin's – or should I say Richard's – address and phone number having memorized them soon after receiving this letter. I folded up the letter and stuffed it back in my pocket, silently cursing as the folding resulted in a new rip in the paper.
As hard as it was to read the letter after Robin left, it had been even worse when I had had to give Raven and Starfire their letters.
/Flashback/
"Raven?" I called, knocking politely on her locked door. As I had expected, there was no answer. "Raven, I have a letter for you."
"Who's it from?" I heard a hoarse and almost weak voice say quietly.
"Robin," I answered, looking at the former Titan leader's spiky writing on the outside of Raven's letter.
Raven's door slid halfway open. She had dark circles under her eyes, her hair was unbrushed, her blue cape was faded and dirty, and she had grown so thin that her ribs could be seen through her form-fitting black leotard.
"Are you alright?" I asked as I handed over the letter. She took it from me with one of her thin, pale hands.
"I'm fine," She said in a brittle voice. She hastily withdrew into the darkness of her room, but not before I caught a glimpse of a tear running down her cheek.
/End flashback/
/Flashback/
Cyborg and I were attempting to have combat practice without Robin. Cyborg was able to create a course for me using the control panel, but his knowledge concerning our weakest and strongest combat techniques was limited. He did not know how to keep challenging me as a wolf as Robin did, so he had me move straight on to a machine designed for my gopher form.
He also did not know that the gopher was one of my weakest animals. He had seen Robin challenge me in this form countless times, and that is my guess as to why he put the green gopher through its paces. He did not know when enough is enough, and my gopher form was unable to keep up with the machine.
However, the rules that applied to me in combat practice were 1, do not stay as your strongest animal the entire time, and 2, do not change form until you have defeated the obstacle.
I was not about to defeat this obstacle, and was saved when a shower of green starbolts fell from the sky, hitting the machine in its weakest point.
I turned back into my human form, and looked up into the sky, shading my eyes from the sun.
"Starfire!" I called happily as her form came into sight. As the beautiful alien landed on the ground, she pulled me into a bone-breaking hug. I hugged her back, though not as tightly.
She released me, then hurried over to Cyborg, who was busy shutting down the rest of the training machines.
"It fills me with great joy to see you, friends," She said, smiling brightly as only Starfire can. "Tell me, where are our friends Raven and Robin?"
Cyborg and I gave each other shifty glances. Cyborg busied himself with shutting down the combat practice panel, wordlessly giving me the job to tell Starfire about our two friends.
"Raven's up in her room," I said, praying that she wouldn't ask about Robin. She must have interpreted the look on my face, for her large green eyes suddenly filled with tears, and her smile faded.
"Robin has left, yes?" She asked quietly.
"Yeah," I said, looking at the ground. I fumbled with my belt, and drew from one of its pockets a carefully folded letter. "This is from him."
As I handed her the letter, she unfolded it and immediately began reading. As the wind blew around us, I noticed for the first time that Starfire's letter was more than a page long. A silver staple gleamed in the upper left hand corner, and I watched the three sheets of paper separate as the wind played with them.
/End flashback/
I jerked myself out of memory lane, mentally berating myself for dwelling on these unpleasant thoughts. Perhaps it was the holiday that had made me remember, for on Halloween night four years ago, the last Titan had left the tower.
Starfire had followed Robin's lead only a month after he had gone. I found out later that she too had taken up a home in Gotham City. Cyborg was the next to move out, for he had been offered a job as a computer technician. Then it had been just Raven and me alone in the tower for three lonely months. Then it had been my turn.
/Flashback/
I looked around my room. All my clothes and belongings were in two suitcases by my door. My bed and dresser were placed in their familiar places in my room, but even with them the room looked empty.
I began searching the tower for Raven. The two of us had been living in the tower for three months, but I had barely seen her once over that time. I searched every floor of the entire tower. I must have called out her name a hundred times before finding her on the roof.
"Raven," I whispered, so quietly that she could not hear me as I stepped out onto the roof. She was levitating at the edge of the tower. I could see her knees at either side of the cape that hung down her back, which indicated she was sitting cross-legged, most likely meditating.
"Raven," I said, this time louder. Still levitating cross-legged, the turned to face me. She levitated herself closer to me, and I saw just how thin she was. If she had been thin the day Robin left, it was nothing to how she looked now.
Her once form-fitting leotard hung loose in some places, but I could see her emaciated ribcage. Her cheeks were hollow, and her arms and legs were so thin they looked as if they could have been snapped to pieces. Her eyes were red, from both crying and lack of sleep. I could tell from the dark circles under her eyes and the tear stains on her face.
"You're leaving, aren't you?" She asked in a voice hoarse from disuse.
"Yeah," I said uncomfortably. "Are you gonna be all right here by yourself?"
"I can take care of myself, Beast Boy," She said, her voice now sounding defeated. "I'll be fine."
"Here," I handed her an envelope, not unlike what I had done five months ago. "Inside are my address and phone number." She took the envelope from me with trembling hands. She unfolded her legs, set her feet on the ground, and looked down. I cupped my hand under her chin and tilted her face up so she was looking straight at me. "Promise me you'll keep in touch, Raven. Please."
"I'll do my best," Her voice shook with the tears that were now running down her cheeks. With my free hand I wiped them away, keeping the other under her chin.
"I'm really gonna miss you," I said, looking into her eyes for what I feared would be the last time. I threw my arms around her, embracing her frail form in my arms. She hugged me back, and the two of us held each other as if it was our dying day.
"Will you stay at the tower?" I asked once we released each other.
"Most likely," Raven said, looking uncomfortably at the floor of the disused rooftop basketball court.
"Promise you'll let me know if you move somewhere else," I said, taking one of her bony hands into my own.
"I promise," She said, looking me in the eye. "I will."
I leaned down and kissed her cheek before walking down off the roof and leaving the tower forever.
/End flashback/
I felt a tear come to my eye as I remembered that night. That was the last time I saw or heard from Raven. She had not come to Robin and Starfire's wedding, nor had she come to the christening of their first child. She had not made an appearance at Cyborg and Bumblebee's wedding, and she didn't show up at any of the Jump City Superhero parades.
I had been writing to the tower every day for the last four years. For six months, I received no word from Raven, no indicator that she was in or out of the tower. After those six months, however, my letters began coming back to me. I sent a letter every day for a week, and every one came back to me.
I waited for a month for Raven to write to me or call to let me know where she was. After that month had passed, I gave up hope. I stopped sending letters, though I kept a journal and wrote a letter to Raven in it every day.
I shook myself, willing myself to let go of these thoughts. I looked up and down the street, and found the boy dressed as a Tyrannosaurus Rex once more. He was clutching his mother's hand and pulling her over to the next house.
As I watched the little boy, I noticed a woman.
She was walking down the sidewalk on the other side of the street. She was alone and wrapped in a blue blanket. She was disheveled and looked exhausted, almost like a homeless woman. Her hair was long and pulled back into a loose braid that reached halfway down her back. She walked through the beam of light produced by a streetlamp, and I noticed something that made my heart jump into my throat and start hammering away.
Her hair was purple.
She looked around her nervously as she turned into a dark alleyway. I watched her until her form was swallowed up by the darkness. I began to cross the street, determined to find out if this strange woman really was who I thought she was when I noticed someone else.
Someone who was wearing a mask and all black clothing was following this woman's path. I assumed that this person was a man by his build, and he was looking behind him a little more often than necessary. He paused and glanced around him before walking into the same alleyway.
Assuming the worst, I hurried across the street and into the same alleyway. For a few seconds I could see nothing, but then my eyes became used to the darkness and I could see clearly.
The woman had been backed into a wall by the man. She still clutched her blanket around her shoulders. A look of pure terror was pasted on her face. She opened her mouth to scream, but no noise came out.
I made to turn into a wolf and attack the man, but all of a sudden, the woman opened her blanket to reveal that it wasn't a blanket at all. It was actually a long blue cape. Underneath the cape she wore a black leotard and a golden belt with large red stones set in it.
I felt my heart begin to thump so wildly I was sure she would hear it. She did not, however, and thrust her arms in front of her, shouting, "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" The man was encased in black magic and pushed up against the wall.
"You should know better than to try that on me, Johnny," She said coldly. Her magic ripped the mask off of the man's face. He had black eyes, a large nose, and a mouth that was turned down into a frown. I recognized him as Johnny Rancid.
"You will turn yourself into the police and apologize for what you have already done," The woman said slowly, pushing Johnny even higher with her magic.
"And what if I don't?" Johnny asked, attempting to sneer.
"Then I'll be there to remind you," She dropped Johnny to the ground with a loud thump. Johnny immediately stood up and ran away.
"And you'd better get going unless you want that to happen to you too," The woman said, her eyes glaring at me.
"Raven?" I asked, taking a step closer. She rose her arms up in self defense. "Raven, it's me." It felt so strange to utter that name after all these years.
I watched as the woman took a step forward. Now that she was farther out from the shadows of the alley, I could see the Raven I had known four years ago peering back at me. Although she was now a grown woman, her eyes still looked as mysterious and full of sadness as they had when we had parted and her ruby-red chakra gleamed on her forehead. The only major difference in her was her complexion. Her skin was no longer so pale that I had an almost gray tinge to it. She was tanned a light brown, which made her look healthier and livelier.
"Beast Boy?" She asked, peering deeply into my eyes, as if hoping to enter my mind and be able to prove it was me.
"I go by Garfield now," I said, smiling as her eyes traveled from my eyes to my green hair, then onto my pointed ears.
"Garfield suits you," She said slowly, before exclaiming, "I can't believe it!" Raven flung her arms around me and hugged me tightly. I wrapped my own arms around her, picked her up off the ground, and spun around in circles. I stopped after a few seconds, feeling dizzy. I set her gently back on the ground, and took her hands.
"It's really you?" I asked, beginning to lead her out of the dark alley and into the brighter lit street.
"Yes," She said, smiling as my eyes grew wide with happiness.
"Where have you been all this time? Why haven't you written to me? Why weren't you at Starfire and Robin's and Cyborg and Bumblebee's weddings? Why –"
I was cut off as she abruptly planted her lips on mine. Not caring that the two of us were standing halfway out of a dark alley, I wrapped my arms around her again, pulling her closer to me. I felt her arms encircle my neck, and their warmth made me feel as if fireworks were going off inside me.
Still keeping herself close to me, Raven broke the kiss.
"Miss me that much?" She asked in an almost sarcastic way.
"You have no idea," I said. The two of us wordlessly broke apart, and began walking down the street together.
"So, where have you been all this time?" I asked, taking a step closer and taking her hand in mine. I saw a faint blush creep into her tanned cheeks as I did this.
"I hope you have time for a long story," She said, and without waiting for a reply, began telling me about her life in the past four years.
"Well, after you left I stayed at the Tower for six months. I know I promised to write to you, but every time I started writing, everything just came out wrong. The letter was either too sad, or angry, or just falsely cheerful. I have a shoebox full of letters I wrote to you, I just didn't send any.
"Then, exactly four years ago, I was summoned to Azarath. I was to tell no one where I was going. That included you." Raven move closer to me, and I put an arm around her shoulders. "I can't tell you how many times in the week I had before I left I wrote a letter to you. To all of you, telling you where I was going."
"Is that why you weren't at Robin and Star's wedding?" I asked, now understanding why Raven had not returned any of my letters. "You were in Azarath?"
"Actually, I did get the invitation to the wedding, but the day of was the last day I had here," Raven said, a note of regret in her voice.
"Then why didn't you come?" I asked, looking at her strangely as we continued to walk down the sidewalk, my arm still wrapped protectively around her.
"I knew that if I did, I wouldn't want to leave. I wouldn't have been able to tear myself away from my friends again.
"But I was there. I watched from outside the chapel. I carefully took out a single pane of glass from a stained glass window and watched through there. I put it back once the ceremony was over.
"I never told anyone this, but, being a half-demon, I can't go inside churches for ceremonies, whether it be a mass, baptism, or wedding. Anything of the sort would purify me. Although I would like nothing more, I would die in the process."
"So, you've been in Azarath all this time?" I asked, feeling as if there was more to the story. I was right.
"No," She admitted. "I was in Azarath for three years, helping them rebuild the world Trigon destroyed. I've been back here for a year."
"Where've you been staying?" I asked, cutting her off quickly. "Why didn't you tell anyone where you were?"
"I went back to the tower. You have no idea how dirty a place gets with no one taking care of it for three years. For the past year, I've done little else than scrubbing away at the ceiling, walls, and floors, trying to make the tower a suitable place to live."
"How much did you clean?" I asked, imagining Raven scrubbing away at three year's worth of dust and mold. I shuddered involuntarily at the thought.
"Almost the entire tower," She said, smiling at my unbelieving look. "Except for one room. Even after four years, I still can't go in it."
"Which room's that?" I asked, a little frightened to hear the answer.
"Terra's room," She said, looking down at the pavement. "I don't know why, but every time I try and go inside it, something holds me back. And it's not like I still have a grudge against her. I mean, I visit her statue a lot, and I cleaned it off. There was dirt, moss, and graffiti all over it."
"Well, you're doing better than I am," I said, feeling a swoop of sadness overtake me. "I can't even go near the place her statue is without breaking down."
She pulled her hand from mine gently and placed it on my shoulder, squeezing it.
"I understand," She said in a tone that clearly said that she did.
"So, what was all that in the alley about?" I asked as she released my shoulder. I took her hand once more.
"Well, I figured that I might as well stop some criminals while I'm here," She smiled cockily. "So I decided to lure people into traps."
"So that's why you were acting all weak and scared?"
"Yeah."
"Well, it sure was convincing. I fell for it."
"Good," Raven said, smiling once more. "I have another one to catch. He's supposed to live somewhere around here, just like Johnny."
"I'll help," I said automatically. "It'll be like old times. The Teen Titans will reunite once more!"
"Just do me one favor," She said, looking at me with her violet eyes twinkling.
"What?" I asked, a sudden pang of foreboding coming over me.
"Don't yell 'Titans Go!'"
"How did you know I was gonna ask you if I could?" I asked.
"Empathic ability," Raven tapped her forehead, "and a lucky guess."
The two of us took off running, earning some strange looks from the remaining trick-or-treaters, but we ignored them.
"He lives somewhere in here," Raven said breathlessly, pulling me into a darkened street. "I think the address is fifteen-twenty one."
"There," I stopped running, and pointed to a house. The numbers fifteen and twenty one were nailed to the red mailbox. Raven pulled me away from the sidewalk and into the shadow of a neighboring house.
"Now, I'll do my thing again," She said, pulling her hood up and wrapping her cloak around her as she spoke. "If it gets messy, come and help. Got it?"
"Got it," I said. "Be careful." I said, a note of concern in my voice.
"I'm nothing but," She said, smiling, and stepped out of the shadow of the house and began walking down the sidewalk, casting shifty looks over her shoulder as she went.
I transformed myself into a crow and flew up to perch on the top of one of the houses. As I watched with a bird's-eye view, Raven walked past the house where the man was supposed to live.
As she began to pass the next house, I saw the door open and close silently. I large figure that was cast in shadow walked out. He began following Raven.
I lifted off the roof and flew slowly a little bit behind him. Feeling that I was making a little too much noise, I transformed into an owl mid-wing beat, and was satisfied with the silent gliding I was now doing.
Raven looked behind her, and, seeing someone following her, began to walk a bit faster. The person behind her also picked up his pace. I began to fly faster as well.
The man was now gaining on Raven. They were barely a house length apart, and that distance was closing rapidly. I felt my owl's heart beating away madly in my chest, my nerves getting the better of me. Feeling uneasy, I sped up so that I was in front of the man, and landed on a chimney.
Raven was barely three feet in front of the man when she turned around, and asked, in a petrified and almost squeaky voice, "What do you want?"
"Only what any other stalker does," The man said in a gruff voice.
"Well, then, I guess," Raven began opening her cape, "you're out of luck!" She thrust her hands in front of her once more, and yelled, "Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos!" The man was encased in black magic, and Raven pushed him high up in the sky.
"What the –" The man sputtered, taken aback by Raven's attack. I felt a warm wave of relief pass over me, and I flew down to land next to Raven. I turned back into a human and smiled at her.
"Nice one, Rae," I said.
"I'll let the name slide just this once," She said while slamming the man to the ground roughly.
"Please, let me go!" The man struggled against the black magic that encased him.
"Apologize," Raven said harshly. "And turn yourself in."
"Sorry!" The man said quickly. "I'm sorry."
"Now, start moving along to that police station, or I'll have to pop up again to give you a little reminder," Raven said, smiling smugly before releasing him. The man, just like Johnny, began running away.
"All right, Raven!" I exclaimed, holding a hand up for a high five. She slapped it, and I caught her hand and pulled her into a hug. "I can't tell you how scared I was during that whole thing."
"Come on, you know I can take care of myself," She said as I released her from my hug. She took my hand and began half-pulling me down the street, back to the brighter lit one we had been walking on before.
"If you don't mind me asking," I began as we entered the brighter-lit street that as still dotted here and there with older trick-or-treaters, "why are you going after those guys?"
"Did I ever tell you about my mother?" She asked quietly, looking at the ground.
"No," I said, putting an arm around her shoulders that were now shaking, with either nerves or anger.
"Trigon took advantage of her," Raven said angrily. I looked at her directly, to see tears running down her frowning face, "and he…" She trailed away, the tears now enveloping her. I pulled her into a hug, holding her shaking body tightly. She buried her face in my chest before saying, in barely more than a whisper, "That's how I came to be."
I now understood why Raven had been going after these men. As I thought back to the last fight of the Titans, I remembered Raven telling Malchior she would not be her mother. I felt hot tears of anger fill my eyes as I finally understood what he had been trying to do.
"I'm sorry," I said, not able to come up with any other words to comfort her.
"It still pains me to this day," She said quietly, her head still resting on my chest. "What he did to her. How her people failed to protect her." I stroked her hair, not unlike what I had done when I had held her after killing Malchior.
"I've missed you, Raven," I said, feeling stupid as I said these words.
"I've missed you too," She said, smiling through her tears as she looked up into my eyes.
"Never let me lose you again, Raven," I said. "Promise?"
"I promise," She said quietly.
♥