I was a god once. Only for a little while, but that's more than most people can say. He didn't make me a god on purpose. I think it was a side effect he had no idea even existed.
It started with a one-night stand. I was in Stuttgart for the weekend. I was taking classes in Berlin and decided to go see the Benz museum, amongst other things. The Saturday night ended with me at a wine bar alone, happy to try something new and to watch the people around me. He was one of them. I was attracted to his eyes. I was used to seeing blonde men with blue eyes, but his black hair made those eyes stand out even more. He caught me looking and raised a glass from down the bar. I raised mine back. We said little, but I invited him back to the hotel. I rarely do those kinds of things, but for the right pretty face when I'm in a good mood...well, I make exceptions to every rule I have in the right conditions.
He watched every move I made that night and the next morning as we went out for breakfast. I wasn't used to dates being backwards this way- sex then food, rather than the other way around. It seemed right, so I went along with it. We parted ways and I never expected to see him again. I admit, though, I wouldn't have minded it one bit.
A few days later, his face was all over the news as he caused chaos at a fancy to-do. I chose to separate the one-night-stand from the man on the screen, to keep my fantasy alive and well. He was pretty and he was fun for a night and that was what I was going to remember.
Of course, a few months later and I discovered that I was pregnant. I swore a lot, but decided that I could handle a baby. Classes were easy I wasn't planning on leaving Berlin anytime soon, so I let things happen as they may. That's where the god part comes in. Strange things began happening in my body, and they weren't the strange things I read about online that were supposed to happen in pregnancy. As my abdomen stretched, it took on a blue tinge. My strength and appetite increased threefold. I think I may have thrown a classmate across the hallway on accident when I ran into her on the way to the bathroom to heave. There wasn't much I could do about any of it. I started seeing things, too- dreams that happened when I was awake of things happening in strange places. I learned to tune them out, but I seriously doubted my sanity. I told no one about these things, afraid they would lock me up for being crazy.
After Rosa was born, the strange things started to fade away. The dreams were less vivid, the strength waned, and thank goodness the appetite did, too. My abdomen wasn't blue, though my daughter looked like she was tinged blue under certain lights. It certainly disconcerted her doctor, who had no idea what to make of it. I started going out again to the cafes in the mornings or for lunch. She came with me to classes and either nursed or slept or both most of the time. She was an overall easy child and people were stunned by her light eyes and dark, curly hair.
On the one year anniversary of the alien invasion of New York, she and I were sitting in a coffee shop while I did homework. I hadn't paid much attention to the news from New York while it was happening- it seemed so far away and I had problems of my own to deal with. I passively watched the footage from my seat. A woman a couple of tables over was watching with great interest, her eyes lighting up whenever the now-named Avengers were shown on screen. Then a familiar figure graced the screen, riding one of the alien hovercraft things. She nearly spilled her coffee. So did I. I looked at Rosa and realised that her father had led a very-nearly successful assault on earth with an alien army. Suddenly the things that had been happening through my pregnancy didn't seem quite so strange. I asked the woman a few tables over if she knew him, the dark haired man with the stunning eyes. She said yes, he was her boyfriend's adopted brother. I invited her to join me and introduced Rosa- her boyfriend's adopted brother's daughter. The woman introduced herself as Jane and told me that we really ought to make a journey to introduce her to the family and see if Rosa had any unique talents. I didn't ask what those might be, fearing the answer, but I did ask what her boyfriend's were. Strength, she said, and a magic hammer that was infinitely heavy and could make him fly. I thought she was crazy, but she knew Rosa's father's name- Loki.
Being a student of mythology and literature has its perks. One of them is that you understand references on a deeper level than everyone else. On the other hand, it often means you make references that no one gets, too. I asked her about other people in her boyfriend's family and decided that if she was crazy, she was also very thorough. She said she knew how to take me to where they lived so Rosa could meet the family. I was really hesitant, but wrote down the time and place she wanted to meet on a napkin. She had to finish a science convention before we could make the journey.
I didn't plan on meeting her. In fact, I'd planned on conveniently losing the napkin somewhere so if I ran into her again, I had an excuse. But on the day she said she'd meet me, I packed a bag, packed Rosa's bag, and the two of us headed to the park she'd indicated. I don't know why I went. I thought I didn't need to know where Rosa's father was from, that it was irrelevant, but something in the back of my head wondered if she'd be like him and if she'd need to know these strange people she'd come from in order to grow up understanding herself. So I went.
When I saw her in the park, she looked comfortable, not nervous, and she didn't look like she was waiting for someone to jump me. I asked her how we did this and she told me just to hang on to Rosa and our gear and she'd hold me. She put her arms around me and called out to somebody named Heimdall. It took a moment, but then we were in a tunnel of light, jettisoning through the sky. Rosa, thank god, had nursed herself to sleep and was cuddled against me in the sling, still suckling. If she hadn't have been, she'd have been screaming. I nearly was. When we landed in the place Jane called Asgard, we were met by a tall dark-skinned man with golden eyes. I told myself I wasn't in Kansas anymore. Jane talked to the man, introduced him as Heimdall, and told me that we were going to see her boyfriend first.
Her boyfriend was very very good looking. Not in the same way Loki was, but when she introduced me to Thor and he greeted me with a kiss on the hand, I had a moment of jealousy. It passed quickly, but still...here he was, beside her, and I was standing by myself with a baby. His name was Thor.
Thor told me not to expect much from Loki, possibly not to expect him even to remember me. Apparently things had gone south in the family and Loki was in prison after some kind of fight with their father. I was wondering if I was visiting a family of crazy people when Thor assured me that Loki had been adopted and his imprisonment was more than just about a fight and also had to do with the fact that Loki had tried to kill everyone on Earth with the alien creatures, though that had sort of been an accident. I was only somewhat paying attention because Rosa was waking up. Thor promised to have me taken to see his brother as soon as possible and made arrangements for me to travel with friends of his down to the dungeons.
Rosa's father. Loki. He stared at us from the cell he was trapped in. I asked if he remembered me. He said he did, but only vaguely. I showed him the little girl curled against my chest who had his eyes, his hair, and I thought I saw something flicker across his face that could have been a smile. It was gone, though, as fast as it had come. He shook his head, denying that he could possibly have a child. I was heartbroken, but for Rosa, not for me. I left with Thor's friends without saying another word.
I met Thor's father, Odin, later that day. He wasn't too pleased that Jane and I were in Asgard, but Thor explained why I was there with the child and suddenly he was a different person. Rosa was his grandchild. I let him hold her and she curled up to him without making a sound. It was pretty remarkable. I let Thor and Jane hold her, too. They were proud of her, both of them happy to have us both in the family. Odin invited me to stay a few days to regain my strength before journeying back home. Jane offered me space to stay in her rooms. I accepted, not sure what was going on, but my head filled with so many questions that it would at least take that long to answer them.
I thank whatever other powers are out there in this universe that Thor was patient with me, explaining this thing about nine realms, about how the people of Asgard are different than those of Midgard, which is what he called Earth. I learned about dark elves and frost giants and about how Loki came to be a part of their family. I learned that my daughter would likely have one foot in each world as she grew up, that her childhood would be different from that of other children as she discovered that she had some of the strengths of each of her parents' realms.
I don't have much family of my own. My sister disappeared years ago when she got married and cut us out of her life due to her conversion to a new religion. My parents are dead. I have no other siblings and have never been close to my aunts and uncles. What I saw in Odin, Thor, and Jane was a family that I couldn't provide for Rosa and people who could help me to figure out how to raise a child who is part frost giant and part me. I wanted that help. I needed that help. I didn't want to leave Germany, though. I still had things there to do and places to see.
Jane offered to help me when she could and Thor promised to visit. I returned to Berlin with Rosa. I thought. I thought a lot. I didn't know how to tell her about her family, but we did visit them when we could, and Jane brought Thor to visit us when he was around. It was nice to know that if something strange happened in Rosa's development, there would be someone there from another world to help me figure out how to deal with it. I knew for sure that her doctor wouldn't know how to treat an infant frost giant if there was anything really different about her.
She's three now. Or she will be in a month. I still don't know how to tell her about her father, or how to explain that her life will be so much different from that of other children. I don't know how to explain to her that we travel on a mythical bridge of light to visit her grandfather and that we shouldn't tell other people that when we are out in public, or even if we are in our own home with someone I met from the university.
I've been invited, though, to change that. To change everything. Odin has asked if we'd like to come live in Asgard so they can help me with Rosa, especially if she has the magic skills that her father has. He still won't see her, despite the fact that she looks so much like him. Odin says good riddance to him, then. Thor says it's because Loki can't fathom being a father and so he refuses to even acknowledge his child. I don't know why. I might try to talk to him when we get there, but Rosa is going to be sheltered from all that until I figure out just what to tell her.
I'm glad, though, that Odin, Thor, and Jane have all taken us into their lives. Whatever I decide, they will still be there for us. For Rosa. I just hope that some day, Loki will want to be a part of this family, too.