"Emily Reed, seventeen years old.." says the agent.
"Thank you but I can talk by my own." I interrupt him sarcastically. He glances at me, nervous.
"I would quit joking around, you are in trouble now."
The policeman doesn't quit holding my arm while another man, behind the counter, is searching for some files on his computer. They look too satisfied they've found me and got to arrest me like I'm some kind of really dangerous criminal.
I can almost hear Dean yelling at me, his face inflated by anger, while he says "I can't recognize you anymore, Emily, what's happening to you?" as he always does when I get in trouble.
"You are really lucky you are not in jail already, with all of this aggression charges." Continue saying the agent, without letting me go. "Maybe a night or two in the cooler will change your mind about violence, uh?"
"Yeah, sure…" I keep my sarcasm on, I know I'll be out of here in less than two hours. "Shouldn't you give me the right to make a phone call?" They give me an old cordless phone and I dial Dean's number.
"Hello?" His voice is suspicious as he answers the call.
"I'm Emily, Dean, can you pick me up?" In that moment the sound of police's cars fills the room, revealing my position.
"Have you been arrested? Again?!" He sounds upset.
"I'm sorry, Dean." I apologize. "I'll explain you later."
"Are you hurt?"
"No, I'm not, just come pick me up, would you?" I close the communication and make a big, fake smile to the agents, handing them their phone. After a couple of seconds, my own starts vibrating in the pocket. As I answer I hear my brother Sam's voice: "Emily, where in the hell are you?" Great, he's upset too.
"Sam, don't do this again. I'm with Dean and I am fine." I move away from the policeman, pointing the bathroom. I open the door and I sit on the toilet. "You don't want him to know you are alive? Fine. But stop calling me, use the damn telepathy." I whisper.
"It's not working anymore. Tell me where are you, Emily. I think you are in danger."
"I don't need you to protect me. You know it. I'm at Sioux Fall by the way, at Bobby's." If he doesn't want them to know he's alive, he can't come.
"I'm coming." Sam hangs the phone without leaving me time to say anything else.
If Dean founds out I knew Sam was alive and that I talked to him telepathically for all this time, he is probably going to hit me in the face and for a good reason.
Maybe it's just destiny and they are meant to meet again and me to be the glue that holds this family united.
Since Sam's so-called death, Dean and I tried to live a supernatural-free life, in a real house, with a real work. For him, after accepting Sam wasn't coming back, everything was easier, but I started to hear Sam's voice calling me out. If I didn't see him die, that wouldn't have been so strange: we always used to talk with telepathy.
I found out he wasn't dead when he called me on the phone the first time. He is working to understand what brought him back and why, but want me and Dean out of that world, he says we deserve a normal life and shouldn't get involved again, but it's not that easy. We don't fit normal life. Dean is drinking all the time and I keep getting in trouble with the police. We fight each other to a physical point for seventy percent of the time we are at home together and the other thirty percent we cry in frustration and comfort each other. He can't stand living without Sam, I can't stand looking at him so miserable.
We are more wrecked now that when he had to fight demons and ghosts.
I begged Sam to join us for a long time, but he doesn't want. He doesn't care about anything else more than find what brought him back.
I get out of the bathroom and find out that Dean is already waiting for me. "I swear one day I'm going to tie you to a freaking chair. Maybe like that, you won't end up arrested every day." He sounds upset but he looks given up. I follow him outside of the room.
"I'm sorry, Dean. That guy…"
"I couldn't care less about who did what. You can't hurt anybody lays a hand on someone you know." He is drunk again.
"You are the one who taught me that in the first place."
"I know, but not now. I can't let you get hurt."
"I'm not going to get hurt." I sigh. "I'm driving." I take the keys from his jacket's pocket and I get in the car. He follows me reluctantly.
I hope Sam is not already at Bobby's. I start driving in the night.
We arrive home in ten minutes and Dean immediately goes in the kitchen to drink. Bobby glances at me. "You should stop getting in trouble. You are making him feel even worst."
"Give me a break," I tell him lighting up a cigarette. I lower my voice. "It's the demon blood. I can't help it."
"Don't talk about it. If he knows you are still having trouble with it…"
"…it would drive him crazy. I know." I'm so tired of hiding things to my brother. I wish we could just get back to normal. But I'm so angry with Sam I don't want him in my life. He doesn't look like him anymore. The Sam I knew wouldn't let his brother suffer like that. I finish my cigarette and head to the kitchen, grab a glass and sit in front of Dean. He fills both our glasses and drinks.
"Dean, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to worry about me. I mean it."
"I know."
"Do you want to hang out tonight? I will offer you dinner." I try to cheer him up.
"I don't feel like it, sorry Em." I failed. Great.
"Okay then, I'm going to bed. Call out if you need something." I kiss his forehead and go upstairs. He stands still, not smiling, nor crying, the whiskey still in his glass.
I enter my room and sit on the bed. I don't know how to take care of him anymore. The more I try the less it works. He just wants to die and I can't do anything about it. I close my eyes for a moment, enough to fall asleep.
I wake up hearing Bobby's voice yelling at Dean:" This is not how you stop suffering!" Oh god, not again.
"You always talk about protecting Emily, that she is the last thing you have, but now you are obsessed with killing yourself. You guys already lost too much, at least try to stick together."
I stand up and take a deep breath. A sip of rum from the bottle I left on the floor last night. I walk downstairs in time to see Dean grab a gun from the counter. I walk towards him quietly while he points it to his head. Bobby sees me but doesn't talk. The moment I touch Dean's hand to take the gun away from him, he freezes for a second, then starts shaking.
"It's okay, Bobby. Can you grab us a glass of water?" He nods and goes to the kitchen counter. I take the gun and put in my back pocket.
Dean is sobbing giving me his back. One year ago I would have never believed somebody telling me my big brother was going to become depressed at this point. He's so broken I don't know where to start to fix him. But I swear, I will.
I turn around Dean from his shoulders. It's not the first time this happens, but every time I don't know what to say. Nothing feels right.
"Dean…"
"I know. Sorry."
"There is nothing to be sorry about. I know how you feel."
"Yeah, tell me about it."
"Dean, I mean it. I won't let you die." In that moment Bobby comes back in the living room and offers us two glasses.
"You should." Says Dean trying to turn away.
"How much have you been drinking today?" He doesn't answer. "Did you go to work?" Silence. In the back, Bobby says no with his head. I take another deep breath and make him sign to leave us alone. He goes outside.
"Why don't you talk with me? I'm your sister."
"That's…That's exactly the point." Sobs Dean.
"What are you talking about?"
"You are seventeen. You are not meant to listen to me about my suicide obsession. You should go to school, have friends, have a normal, happy life."
"Bobby's right. We have lost enough. Mom, Dad, and even Sam. We must be here one for another. It's the only way to survive." I look at him and understand he is going to break down. "Let's go to sleep, shall we?" I say pointing at the stairs. "I'm going to stay with you."
"You don't have to."
"Unfortunately, I want to. I'm staying." I would tell him that Sam's alive but I'm afraid he would start obsessing on finding him and killing himself.
I'm going to pretend Sam's dead until he shows up. Because for me, he is dead and he is not my brother. Not until he would keep this play going. This show he is acting is destroying our lives and I hate him for this.
Dean and I head to his room. He lies on his bed without saying a single thing. He doesn't want me to sleep in his bed, he says I'm not five anymore and we are too grown up to sleep together. Actually, I couldn't care less because every time I do it, he sleeps better. He doesn't have any nightmare, he just snores all night long.
I sit near his hand and touch his forehead with two fingers. He immediately falls asleep thanks to my power. I hate using it on him but he is so drunk that tomorrow he won't remember a single thing that happened tonight. In nights like this, it's the only way to make him rest.
Suddenly, I hear a car in the parking lot. I quietly go downstairs. Bobby glances at me while he holds a rifle. I take the gun I had in my back pocket and charge it.
The door opens: Sam is here. Bobby immediately takes his flask and spray some holy water on him.
"Bobby, don't worry. He is Sam."
"What?"
"Yeah, he is alive. But he is not staying."
"What?" He repeats. "You knew it?"
"Sam, go away."
"Emily, would you please explain to me what the hell is going on?"
"Okay," I say. "But let's go outside." The men head outside and I follow him making sure I close the door.
"Sam's alive. I've been knowing it for a year now."
"A…A year?" Yells Bobby. "Did it ever come to your mind that knowing it would have helped your brother?" He points at the house door.
"Sam didn't want to come back. He says we have a normal life." I say angrily glancing at Sam.
"You guys are idiots!" The man keeps yelling. "How can you hide something like this?"
"I'm sorry. I wanted Dean to live a real life." Answers Sam.
"This is not a normal life. This is shit."
"You can go to school, work, have a life, a family and…" I walk to him ready to hit him.
"Your brother just tried to kill himself because of you." I hit him in the face and he falls on the ground. "I spend more time saving him from himself than I do sleeping. He is drunk twenty-four-seven and remembers half of the things he does and says. Do you call this a normal life? Do you?" I keep hitting him on his face with all the anger I've stored. Bobby blocks me and separates us.
"Is Dean really so miserable?" Asks Sam, visibly surprised.
"I told you hundreds of times. Did you think I was lying?"
"I…I…"
"I can't believe you are THIS stupid." I'm going to hit him again but Bobby blocks me another time.
"Stop this. Talk like two human beings or you are going to wake up Dean." He whispers in my ear.
"How can I keep calm in front of him? How can you?" I ask Bobby.
"I'm not saying I'm happy he did this. Just… stop throwing punches to everything that moves, okay?"
"Fine." I agree. "Sam, why did you come here?"
"I think something is going on. I can't contact you with telepathy and there are strange happenings going on. Like if the city is locked out. No phone signal outside of here, the internet doesn't work and TV is going crazy."
"You are a hunter, can't you take care of it by yourself?"
"I need your help."
"Where were you when we needed you?" Yells Bobby. "When I sewed your sister's skin after she had a panic crisis and tried to kill herself? And when your brother pointed a gun at himself this evening? What about when Dean decided to sell his soul to a crossroad demons and Emily had to make sure he didn't?"
"Okay. I get it, you are angry. You're right."
"Angry is reductive." I say to Sam.
"I'm here to fix things."
"There is nothing to be fixed. Go away, Sam."
The door slams behind me. "Sam?" I turn back as I hear Dean's voice. His face is full or surprise, almost relieved. If he only knew. God, I wish he doesn't have to know, it will probably kill him.
"You're...you're alive!" Sam nods. "How?"
"I don't know… I'm working on it."
"Working on it? When did you come back?"
Me and Sam glance at each other.
Please, Sam, lie to him. He can't take another one. Not tonight.
"A year ago." Dean freezes. All the relief he found seeing Sam crushes in him and now he looks angrier than before. In a minute he fixed his whole world and It got broken again.
"What are you talking about? A year? And you never thought I'd like to know my brother is alive?" He's starting to cry again. I glance at Bobby. He's thinking the same things I do: this is not ending well.
I walk to his left and move a hand in his direction.
"Emily, did you know?" I hesitate. Should I say the truth? Can he stand it?
If I lie to him, He's going to know another way and it'll be worst.
"Sam didn't want you to know. He said we deserve a real life and didn't believe me when I told we needed him to have one."
Dean makes a step back. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"He wouldn't have come. He didn't want to."
"Emily's right." Says Sam. "I didn't want you to get involved. But right now…"
"Sam, no. This is not going to happen." I interrupt him.
"You are in danger!"
"Why should I trust you? You destroyed my life in the last year. We all needed you, I told you but you became an egoistic bastard with no feelings! I had to deal with Dean not eating, I had to fix every single thing he broke when he had anger explosions. Basically, I was fighting the Dean-pocalypse. In the meantime, I had to fight my own pain. Then, you show up. And ruin everything. Only because now you need help? You know dozens of hunters."
"I'm sorry, I mean it."
"I don't care, I mean it." I emulate him.
Dean is still looking at me. I know how upset he is. "You… knew…"
"I did." There no need to hide it anymore. "I'm sorry." He is stopping himself from hitting me right now. I guess I deserve it. Saying 'I'm sorry' is not enough and I knew it when I decided not to tell him. I didn't know what else to do, but now I see that I should have gone with the plain truth. I just was blinded by what was going on between me and Dean and I haven't thought of the consequences.
I let him hit on my face the harder he can. I don't react as he let everything. Bobby doesn't do anything. Sam neither. At one point I grab Dean's wrist and stop him.
"Listen to me," I say to him. He doesn't stop trying to hit me but I'm not drunk, so I'm physically stronger. "I know you are angry. But listen to me. I've made a mistake not telling you about Sam but put yourself in my shoes. He talked to me telepathically. What if I was making everything up? You were… are wrecked. I wanted to protect you."
"You were the only person I've relied on in the last year. You saved me in ways you can't even imagine. I saw you destroy yourself so many times as you saw me being an angry drunk."
"I know. Can you imagine what would have happened to us if we started to search for him and then find out he actually was dead? Try to think about it. One year ago I was sure that we were going to be okay soon. I was sure you could handle everything and make it work. I failed, everything went wrong. You got worse and I couldn't help it. With hindsight, I would have told you the second I knew it." Dean lowers his arm. "This does not end here." I nod. Sam's still standing there, without doing nothing. He doesn't even look human, he seems to have no feelings. "There's no time to discuss right now. Let's head inside, something is going on, we have to find out what."
Bobby doesn't seem to trust him, but he let Sam in the house. I and the old man stay outside a little more. "I'm keeping my gun loaded. I don't trust him." I whisper to the old man. He nods, then changes the topic: "You did the right thing, Emily. However this is going, I'm proud of you and of the woman you're becoming."
"Thank you, Bobby, I hope Dean doesn't hate me for this."
"I'm sure you two will get out of this stronger than ever. You always do, Emily. You and Dean have a really special relationship and this… thing will only tighten it."
"I really hope so." We enter the room too. Sam and Dean are looking at each other in the middle of the room.
"So… What's happening?" I say, interrupting them.
"I think demons are preparing for a battle. Tonight."
"Okay, let's go, shall we?" I point the door.
"Don't you think we should know who are they going to fight against?"
"I do think I don't give a fuck and that I'm willing to get back to my normal life. So we are going to load our guns, take our holy water and kill some demons."
"I'm in." Says Bobby. Dean doesn't answer.
"Guys, come on, we can't just walk into them and hope to survive. This is suicidal!"
"Oh, so now you care. How cute. Let's go." Dean and Bobby reluctantly go outside, I grab Sam's jacket and stop him. "Sam, after tonight, I don't want you to come back to this house again. I'm going to edit Dean's memory, he won't remember you. But if I ever meet you again, you are dead. Understand?"
"Why can't you…"
"That's my last word about it," I say firmly. "I don't want you to talk about this anymore. You'll do exactly like I said. Did I make myself clear or do I have to shoot you?"
"When did you become this bossy?"
"The moment I stopped being a victim and became a warrior of this war. Now take your ass out of this house." I push him out of the room and follow him.
"Is everything okay?" Asks Bobby.
"Yeah, don't worry. Let's go." I get in the car and start the engine. Nobody talks in the car, I can feel the stress in the air. Tonight Dean will know I still use my powers. I'm being such a disappointment for him.
We arrive at Sioux Falls' city entrance and notice immediately something is wrong.
A long line of people is placing on the main street. They are kids, men, women and old people. Every resident of the city is there. Black eyes, angry face.
"They are a lot. How do we fight them?" Asks Bobby.
"Let's see what happens before doing something stupid." Sam answers and Dean glances at him. He's not talking. He's not trusting anybody in this car anymore. I'm about to talk to him when a big light distracts me. In front of the row of people, form the big light, a man appears. He's black haired and wears a beige coat. The demons attack him but as they get close, they light up and fall down.
"What in the hell…" Bobby sounds really surprised. Nobody in the car dares to move. A flash in the sky lights up the city and the shadow of a pair of wings appears behind the man. I glance at Bobby and we load our guns. We open the car door and start running to the group of demons that is being smited on after one. Bobby slows them down with holy water and I touch them, exorcising them. Sam and Dean got to us and they are helping exorcised people who are still alive. I can see Dean looking at me every time I exorcise one. When Bobby runs out of holy water, they become too fast and too numerous. A demon attacks me, but somebody exorcises him the same way I would have. I look up and there is Sam with a hand on the demon's head.
"Did you just…"
"There's no time for this." Says him helping me to get up.
"Okay, you go with Dean, I go with Bobby. Save as many people as you can."
"I'll." He reaches Dean and we start to fight again. The black-haired man doesn't look bothered as he kills every demon that approaches him.
Finally, the last demon is exorcised and we only have a large group of people panicking and crying, and we have to bring them all to their houses. Bobby offers to do it and we stay there with the black haired man.
"I'm glad you've come." He says.
"Who are you?" Asks Sam.
"The one who saved you, Sam."
"You did what?" I ask, surprised.
"I saved your brother, Emily."
"How do you know my name?" I point my gun at him.
"You are famous in heaven. Everybody knows your name. Apparently, even demons. You are the reason they were here."
"What are you talking about?"
"Your powers. They are not from the demon's blood. Not all of them." Dean looks at me, disappointed.
"Am I some kind of angel with demon blood rushing through my veins?"
"You are born from an angel and a human. You are not an angel, but you have some of our powers."
"So, my mom was… an angel?"
"She fell on heart when she met your father. She was in love with a human and couldn't stay."
"Okay, okay, slow down, you two." Says Dean. "Emily, how many other things are you hiding from me?"
"I don't…" I try to apologize but he doesn't listen.
"Sam's alive, you still have your powers, you use them… What else?"
"I know you are disappointed…"
"Disappointed? I'm furious!" Yells the man.
"I'm not hiding you anything more. I swear."
"I really hope so, Emily." He sighs. "I really do."
I take a deep breath and face the man. "What's your name?"
"My name's Castiel."
"Okay, Castiel… Why did you come here?"
"The demons were here to kill you. It was a trap to reunite Sam to you and push you to hunt again."
"Too bad we are not going to hunt again after tonight."
"You will get killed."
"Listen to me, angel of my ass." I go near to him. "You are not telling me what to do, are you?"
"My job's to keep you and your brothers alive."
"Yeah, and my job is to prevent this family to break down. We have pretty similar jobs, don't we? There's just a problem: I was here when everything was falling apart. You were on your cloud in heaven."
"I see you don't trust me."
"No, actually, I don't."
"I'm here to help."
"We don't need your help, Castiel." Hearing this, he seems offended and disappears.
We are back to Bobby's house. "I can't believe you were hiding so many things to me." Says Dean grabbing my arm.
"I didn't want you to feel worse. Until tonight, I thought you were doing better."
In that moment, Sam enters the room. "Emily, can we talk for a moment?"
"I told you…"
"I know. I just need to talk to you for a moment. Alone." Dean leaves us alone and in a moment I hear him drinking in the kitchen.
"Okay, we are alone. What's this about?"
"It's about Dean. I didn't mean to make him feel like this."
"You did."
"Look, I know you don't trust me anymore and want me out of your life. I get it. I'm asking for a second chance. I talked to Bobby and you told me everything you guys went through."
"And?"
"And I'm proud of you." I roll my eyes.
"Why are you asking me for a second chance?"
"I...I want to show you how much I care about you and how much I'm sorry."
"Sam, during this year, Dean and I had all kinds of troubles and you know it. We built a strong bond that allowed us to know when the other one was feeling bad. When you showed up, you destroyed everything. Now, Dean doesn't trust me anymore. Do you know what would happen if he has another of his angry drunk nights? I will not be able to calm him. He will kill me if I even try to touch him. Bobby already tried and it didn't ended up well."
"I'm sorry. I didn't want this to happen."
"But it did. Listen, you can stay." His face lights up in joy. "But I do have one condition."
"I'm in."
"I'm the boss."
"No way."
"Sam." I say firmly. "I've been the grown-up one for over a year. I took care of everything since you died. You are not taking my place."
He hesitates seeing I'm completely serious. "I… I guess that's okay."
"You have no choice. I need a shower, you can sleep in the living room or take a room upstairs, it's up to you." He nods. I go into the kitchen and drink a glass of whiskey with Dean. Then, I stand behind his chair.
"I'm sorry about tonight. We will talk about this tomorrow. Now stop thinking about it and go to sleep, ok?" My voice is not imperative but sweet. I close the bottle and put it away. I gently pet his shoulder.
"Emily, I can't be angry with you." Says Dean before emptying his glass.
"Why? I disappointed you in every single way I could have."
"Yes, but in the meantime you kept me alive for all this time. I never realized how much you did and do for me until now." His voice is drunk and broken. "I would have done the same thing if I were in you."
"You watched over me for seventeen years. It's okay. You have done enough." I help him to stand up and we walk to the living room. "Now stop thinking about it." We are on the top the stairs, in front of his room. "Do you want me to stick around while you fall asleep?"
"I don't think I need it." He lies down on his bed.
"Okay, I'm right here in the room next to your if you need something."
"Okay." He yawns.
"Goodnight, Dean." I say opening the door. I feel snoring behind me, sign that he already fell asleep. I hesitate for a moment on the door. He's everything I have and I will never allow anybody to hurt him anymore. I won't allow Sam either.
I go to my room and lie down still wearing shoes. I feel tears pushing to get out. I put my head under the pillow so that nobody will be able to hear me if I cry.
I wish I could put myself to sleep like I did with Dean this afternoon, but I can't use my powers on myself. I hope nobody hears me crying but I really need to let everything out. Suddenly, I hear somebody knocking at my room's door. Bobby opens it and enters.
"Are you okay? I heard you while I was going to sleep."
"Yeah, Bobby, I'm okay… don't worry about me."
He rolls his eyes. "Come here." Says the man. I follow his order and go next to him. He hugs me while I keep crying.
"I know it's hard. You everything you can to make everybody feel good but sometimes… sometimes it just doesn't work. You are not supposed to feel good. You are only seventeen, you should be the little sister who gets all the love, but instead, you are acting like the mother those boys never had." I deeply breathe and try to calm down. "Remember that I see everything that happens here. If you need a big old man to talk to, I'll always be there for you."
I nod drying my face with the back of my sleeve.
"Bobby you should have had kids. You'd an awesome dad."
"I've had you guys. I never got to hold you when you were a toddler but when you got here you were four and you carried more anger and fear than your body could store. I took care of you guys for my whole life, and in moments like this I see how good I was at it. I'm really proud of you, Emily."