Promises Kept

(Author's Note: This prologue takes place during the episode All About Eve, and shows bits and pieces of a few weeks following it, in order to set the stage for the rest of the story. This makes the Prologue a bit longer than I intend for the rest of the chapters. I watched the episode carefully for details and for correct timing, as I want to stay as close to the Earth 2 canon as possible. I also tried hard to find what the writers of Earth 2 had intended for John and Devon, and incorporated that into my story. If you spot any mistakes, I will be happy to consider fixing them.)

PROLOGUE

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She was fading in and out. She could feel how hard it was for her to concentrate, and the Terrians made it known that her time was short. She was so tired, but she couldn't stop now. There was the Colony ship to think about, and her dream of a home and a cure for Syndrome families. All the members of Eden Advance were counting on her knowledge and her plans to help them arrive safely, to start a new life at New Pacifica, or to hitch a ride back to their old one. And there were the Terrians to think about, too.

There were so many people with so many plans, but right now all that mattered was getting to New Pacifica safely. That was first. The rest would come later. Someone had to know all the things she had inside her head. Someone had to understand why she made all her decisions. Someone had to be able to take her place.

The Terrians on the Dreamplane with her told her again that her time was short. The person they were calling to was not responding. His heart and his head were heavy with worry, and his reluctance to dream was strong.

Devon couldn't give up now. There wasn't much time, and there was so much to do. She called to him, "John!...John!...John, I need you!"

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He turned restlessly in his sleep. He wanted nothing more than to sink into blackness for just a few hours. The days were hard, and like everyone else he hadn't been feeling top form lately. A few hours could do him good. Except something kept calling him upwards into light. Ignore it, he thought to himself. Blackness, blackness. He called back the dark, and could feel it coming back over him.

Then, as if far in the distance, he was hearing his name called. What is it now? he thought irately. You'd think things couldn't run for a few hours without me. He turned around, slowly swimming towards the area in his mind that seemed filled with bright lights. He regretfully felt the darkness falling away behind him, and determined to really give someone hell. He went purposefully forward, a familiar voice breaking through the dimness.

"…you stubborn idiot, Danziger! There isn't much time and you're wasting it ignoring my voice just so you can sleep a little long—"

"Adair?" John boomed. He heard little echoes in the background whispering, Adair? Adair? Adair! Adair! in varying tones around the edges of his hearing. "What's going on here!" What…what…what's going on here? the echoes repeated. John gritted his teeth, and attempted to ignore the echoes, and focus on Devon right in front of him. But her image kept swaying and swirling. He was gonna get a headache. Damn, if only he'd had more sleep. And what the hell was she doing up, anyway? She'd collapsed just that day, lunging at Bennett. She looked like she was going to fall over any minute now, and here she is chewing HIM out.

He opened his mouth to really lay into her asinine ideas, when she said, "No, John! Listen to me! There's no time!"

He had no idea what she was talking about. She was talking fast, and he could just make out some of the words. New Pacifica. The Terrians. Eden Advance. Something about knowledge. She was worried. He could tell. She was always worried, and he could always tell, but this was different. She was bone-deep scared out of her mind.

"Devon, what is it? What do you need?" He saw a look in her eyes that terrified him. He didn't know why.

"Promise, John….Take care of…Eden….group…kids…New Pacifica…" He could tell she was weak, and somehow that affected how many of her words were clear enough to hear. But he knew what she was saying anyhow.

"Devon, you're gonna get better. We're all going to be fine. We'll find a way."

"John!" she cried, frustrated that he wasn't understanding, "Promise, John!"

"Adair!" he roared at her, failing to understand her attitude. It sounded like Devon was going to give up. Like she knew something they didn't. And the fact that she could be hiding something really pissed him off. The fact that she sounded like she was about to do something stupid like sacrifice herself for the greater good, pissed him off even MORE. "What is going on here? Tell me what's going on right now!"

She just closed her eyes, obviously feeling weak. "John?" she begged.

He hated to hear it. He hated to say the words; it felt like admitting something was going to go wrong. "Devon, I already promised you. You know I'll do everything in my power to make sure Eden Advance reaches New Pacfica together. And I won't let anything happen to Uly. I promise, I promise, okay!"

She was starting to fade away, and John was starting to panic. He got it now. He didn't have any Dreamplane experience, but he knew this had to be where he was. That's why Devon had the energy to get up and yell at him, when only today…today?...she didn't have the energy to stand. He noticed there was a ring of Terrians around them, staffs raised. They didn't look ready to attack, but they were definitely ready to do something.

He called out to Devon's twisting image, "Devon, you have to tell me what's going on. You didn't need my promise. Why did you call me here?"

"…have to…have to…take me with you…" she tried to force the words out, but was having trouble.

"What? To New Pacifica? Of course we're going to take you with us! Devon, we are not leaving you behind!" He felt his anger rising. Anger at her, for being so sick, anger at this world, for making them all sick, anger at Bennett for refusing to help them, and anger at himself because he couldn't stop the worst from happening, and because right now he couldn't even understand what she needed.

"John, take me!" Devon cried, fighting with all her strength to stay on the Dreamplane, reaching out to the Terrians to help her. None of them moved. John strode forward to grab her, but it was like holding on to nothing, she was only partially there.

"…not…body…till Terrians cure…take me…promise to take me, let me in, John! Take me…take me…take me…" She was really getting weak now. She could barely think straight. No wonder she wasn't making any sense. It was getting too close. She could feel herself breaking down and breaking apart.

John just held her tighter, made afraid by her urgency and her fear. "I promise, Devon. I promise. Whatever you want, whatever you need. Devon, don't go yet…"

She looked at him, relief in her eyes. She turned toward the Terrians, "Is that enough? Did you hear?"

They had heard. They lowered their heads, and their staffs began to spark. Looking around him, John got suspicious. He wished he knew what was going on. He felt Devon collapse in his arms, slowly fading out. His stomach wrenched, knowing the dream was over. He was going to have to face the world now, a world with Devon Adair dying in her sleep. He didn't know if he could endure that. He called to her repeatedly, wishing she'd come back and yell at him. Then he yelled at the Terrians, accusing them of taking her away.

When the blast of light hit him, he barely even noticed, so great was his grief and rage, it was as if his own mind and heart exploded. In the silence he heard words whispered around him, echoes, "take me…take me…me…me…" And his own cry, "Devon!"

And then there was peace. And whatever had happened was over. The blackness came back to him, and settled around his mind. An image of Devon the only thing left for him to see. He reached, and a more familiar, a more comforting dream of Devon came to him.

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He was being called again. He resisted. It couldn't be Devon this time. She was in his arms, sleeping. She was safe. He held her tighter, and felt her begin to thin and disappear. No! Not again! he grabbed at her, but she was fading. Fading, and leaving him…

A crack of early morning light burst through his eyelids, shattering the peaceful darkness. His head felt heavy, like he'd just banged it on the underside of the TransRover. Images flooded him in a swirl. He didn't try to make sense of them. He just pushed and pushed until they were all gone.

It was True calling him. "Daddy? Daddy!" It was a little-girl thing to say. She only did it when something was wrong.

John Danziger sat up straight in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, suddenly painfully alert, and focused on only one person. "What's wrong, baby?" She was standing by his bed, and he reached out to grab her, instinct kicking in to automatically check if anything was wrong.

"Daddy, I—" her voice sounded near tears, "I was calling to you and you didn't wake up. I thought…I thought maybe something had happened to you." She hugged him hard. He just held her, stroking her back. It was only two days ago they'd had to bury Eben. Bess had collapsed that night, with Devon collapsing yesterday. And Bennett had died last night, for different reasons. True must have found out. Everyone was feeling weak, everyone was worried they would be next.

Except, apparently True wasn't worried she would be next, True was worried about something much worse, that HE would be next. He just held her hard, and promised that they would all be fine as soon as they figured out how to fix this thing. He promised he would never leave her. In the back of his mind, he wryly observed that he was just making promises left and right. He hoped he could make them all come true. If he couldn't, it didn't really matter, they wouldn't know. But he would know. He would die knowing he couldn't keep his promises.

Feeling better, True said she would go help Bess, and Danziger got up to get dressed. A glance out the tent door showed him that the day was well begun. He cursed automatically, the loss of working daylight hours grating his sense of efficiency. No wonder True was worried, he didn't often sleep into full morning. There wasn't much that needed to be done, and there was that chance that tomorrow none of this would matter. But if today or tomorrow or the next day or the next is the day they needed to leave, he wanted them to be ready. They couldn't rely on chances. But if one appeared, they had to be ready to take it.

He headed out to start work on the rail. He'd been hearing a rattle he didn't like, and figured he'd ask Alonzo to help him pinpoint it. The bright light from the sun stabbed at his eyes, and for a minute he felt dizzy, confused. It reminded him of…something. He shook his head, trying to clear it of images that kept trying to crowd in. The echoes of a dream he could barely remember just brushed the edges of his mind. He knew there were more promises. He struggled to remember.

Devon! Some of the dream rushed back to him. Of Devon weak and begging. Fading away in his arms…

Oh, God. Panic gripped him. He'd forgotten. Was it just a dream? He turned, searching for her tent, the disorientation from the biostat chip giving him a momentary lost feeling. He couldn't focus, afraid of what he'd see. He stopped his legs from running to her tent, and yanking her door aside just so he could see for himself that she was still alive, still breathing. He forced himself to walk. He forced himself not to yell for Julia. Even on this world, sometimes dreams were still dreams. Please let it all be some crazy dream, some hallucination that he can blame on Eve.

He was halfway across the camp, on wobbly knees, when he heard her voice. Low, steady, talking casually. She was there, seated at a table off to the side, her head turned away from him. She wasn't in her death throes. The life wasn't slowly leaking out of her, leaving them all leaderless and heartbroken. Devon Adair was still alive, and as healthy as any of the rest of them who were dying slowly on this far-flung world.

He closed his eyes, took a second to breathe, and felt his heartbeat pumping harshly through his veins. He told himself he would react the same way if any of the group fell ill. They were a family, and it hurt to lose any of his family. It didn't mean more, it didn't hurt deeper just because it was her.

He opened his eyes again, and looked directly at her. She was pale, moving carefully like she was fragile. Devon, fragile? He snorted to himself. That woman had a backbone of steel. Every one of them could keel over from this thing, and she would crawl across the continent all by herself if it meant finding a way to save them. She was not fragile.

But when she got up to talk to Yale, she shook just a little bit, as if it were hard to keep her balance. John felt an answering quiver in his legs, and he turned away before the fear could shoot through him again. He gruffly yelled out, "Solace!" not bothering to check where Alonzo was, or if he was busy.

When Alonzo came around a tent with a questioning look, John ignored it and just pointed at the Rail. He wouldn't let the damn dream interrupt any more of his day.

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He couldn't watch. He didn't think he could bear it. Devon had placed a weight on him, he had promised, and if the group needed a leader, they would have one. But that meant he couldn't watch while the door was sealed. He couldn't get up every day and tell them to move forward with the picture of that door closing on the cryo-chamber emblazoned behind his eyelids.

That's what he repeated to himself as he turned away. He had to be strong for the group. But he didn't believe it as he heard the door hiss and lock, the temperature inside falling rapidly, freezing Devon's failing body. He could give a million good reasons why it was best that he didn't look, but he didn't have any good ones. He only had the truth, and that was that it just hurt too much. He didn't know why his heart ached so fiercely. Maybe it was remembering Elle, and how she had lain so quiet and still on the neuro-support units. Maybe it was knowing that he was now responsible for making sure the rest of the group never had to face a similar circumstance.

Maybe it was something else. Maybe. She had been a leader to the group, a pain in the ass, yes, but she gave the group a purpose and a dream. She drove them to their limits. Painfully exacting, but never afraid to show that she was willing to work just as hard to achieve the results they all needed. She was what everyone needed in a tight spot. They had argued to hell and back again, but she had been his friend. And maybe…maybe…

Hell, he didn't know. But he did know he would give anything to trade places with her behind that glass. Devon, he whispered in his mind. I can't do this without you.

His world went black.

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It had only been a couple of weeks since he had made the decision to move out, and continue the quest towards New Pacifica. Someone had to say the words. The decision, while everyone ultimately agreed, had to be spoken by someone. And he couldn't put that responsibility on anyone else. It was the right thing to do. It was the only way to keep Devon's dream of building a home for the Syndrome families from falling to pieces.

The trouble was that having been the one to make the decision, every step he took away from that desolate spot in the desert made marks on his heart. It didn't help much that he knew it was what Devon would have wanted.

In fact, actually, it made things worse. He was constantly debating with himself over things that Devon would have wanted. Would she do this? Would she do that? He found himself asking out loud, sometimes. He found himself answering out loud, sometimes. He tried to keep it from the group, since they already thought he was sort of going crazy with responsibility. He didn't want them to think he was talking to himself, too. Arguing, really.

He rubbed at his face as he walked alongside the TransRover. All the walking every day seemed to just give him hours of empty space with which to ponder the would-haves and the should-haves. He tried to fill all his hours with work, and since there was much to do, most of his mind could be kept occupied.

But the silent hours where everyone wearily trudged forward, and he only had his thoughts for company…those were the times he'd run over his choices and his decisions, not the least one being to leave Devon behind in her cryogenic sleep pod. And if he thought hard enough, and dug deep enough he'd find himself playing the "What would Devon do?" game. Or "What would Devon think?" "What would Devon say?"

God, he missed her. Not just her laugh or her smile or the sunlight glinting off her hair, or a thousand other things that Lonz could probably recite off the top of his head as being typical. No, he missed the way she led people. The way she could infuse her dreams into other people. What did they run on for all those months, if not the fuel of her passion and her will?

There was a drag in the group now. Everyone was tired. Depressed, maybe. They'd lost Eben. They'd nearly lost Bess, and Alonzo. They'd nearly lost everyone, matter of fact. And then, of course…Devon. This group needed someone to revive them, to build them up, to give them a purpose, and a direction.

That was what Devon would do. Not because she felt the group needed it, but because that's what she did. That's who she was.

He rubbed his eyes again. He couldn't stop thinking about her. At night, he dreamt about her. Nothing he could ever recall. She was just always there.

Liar. Some dreams he could recall. But they were always the ones he preferred not to think about. It was the ones that seemed important that always slipped his mind. Not the ones where she was laughing or where they argued just to hear each other's voices...those ones came through every morning crystal clear. But he knew there was something important he was supposed to know, and he could never get it out in the open.

Something about promises. He remembered making promises. Yeah, the kids, Eden Advance…Like he'd really needed to say them. He would die before letting anything happen to those kids, and he'd work himself to the bone if it meant Eden Advance made it safely to their destination. She knew that. Then why did she need the promises? Again?

An image came back to him. It was an image of himself, looking scared and confused, and saying, "I promise, I promise." And the image swiveled to face the Terrians. "Is that enough? Did you hear?"

The Terrians, what did they have to do with all of this? His brow contracted in annoyance as he pondered the significance. He forgot to wonder why the image in the memory was of himself and not of Devon.

He felt a grief in the back of his mind, and he closed himself to it. He wouldn't let it distract him. There was so much to do now. Deciding to let Devon rest for a while wasn't the end of things just the beginning of a whole lot more work for everyone else.

He cursed. He could have been back in cryo-sleep himself. Hurtling away from this planet at near-light speed, back to…back to…back to what? To the Stations? To the life of a Drone? A life he promised himself his daughter would not grow up to raise her own children in? She'd be no safer there than here.

He ran his hands through his unruly hair. There was two now. He had two children to watch out for. Had to go and leave, didn't you, Adair? And who was going to end up having to lead this ragtag bunch of misfits? Me, that's right.

He looked up at the sky, and his thoughts abruptly went on pause. The sun was slinking down over the mountain ranges, and if they wanted to set up camp before full dark they should start now. This was as good a place as any. He raised his hand, and yelled at the ATV up ahead to slow down and make camp. He heard the group's thankful sighs. They were tired. Most of them had fully recovered from the illness that came with the biostat implants, but they still had long days and short nights and miles to cover. Everyone was tired.

For the next few hours, John kept himself busy. There was stuff that needed to be done. He had to check with all the guards for guard duty, he had to consult with the others over their plans for the next few days, he had to update his log over the ground they had covered. Julia insisted on it. She said they couldn't risk that something important be forgotten because someone hadn't thought to record it somewhere. That someone, pointedly, being him. Whatever, it made good sense, so he did it faithfully everyday.

He thought about what Adair would say when she listened to them. He thought about how she would pick apart his plans and his decisions, and he would defend them all, even when she was right. He winced. It was the Devon Game, again.

He turned around to go find something to occupy his time, and he came across the kids, sitting near the fire, discussing intently whatever subject Yale had just taught them about.

"…that's why your hair is curly!" True was excitedly telling Uly. "Even though Devon's isn't at all. You must have gotten that from your father's genes!"

"Yeah?" Uly said, uncertain why he felt like arguing at all, "well, your hair is straight. Does that mean your mother's hair was straight, since your dad's isn't?"

True was unimpressed with the comeback. "Duh. My dad said so lots of times. Doesn't your mom talk about your dad at all?"

"No, she doesn't. Maybe he did have curly hair." He didn't sound happy about the prospect. It could have been just the mention of Devon had him feeling sad, or he could have thought that he might never get to hear about his father if Devon never woke up. John quickly stepped in, afraid to let the discussion turn into something morbid.

"Hey kiddos," he ruffled True's hair. And on second thought, he ruffled Uly's, too. "What sort of knowledge have you been picking up from this computer brain here?"

"Biogenetics, dad." True informed him. One thing John had regretted was that he would never be able to afford the type of teaching that True deserved. She was quick and smart, but all she could have while her dad was just a Drone was the public schools in the Quadrant, where you could find yourself with a knife to your head before any real knowledge filled it. And now she had a Yale to teach her. It pleased him to see that she wasn't wasting the opportunity to get an education.

"Biogenetics? That's too much for me!" He mimed warding off his head from an overflow of information. He was rewarded with a giggle. Uly wasn't comfortable yet being close to anyone, but he was slowly beginning to act normal again. It helped that everyone was always nice to him, not treating him like there was something wrong. He liked Mr. Danziger.

"Mr. Danziger," Uly began. John interrupted and told him for the second time just that day that it was alright to call him by his first name. Uly didn't acknowledge this. He continued, "You think my dad had curly hair?" A finger reached up to twirl one of the light brown locks self-consciously. "True says it doesn't look at all like my mom's."

A flash of pain came to John. Devon would have seen it right away. Devon would have spotted it a mile away, and offered this boy the reassurance he needed. John was nearly too late. The boy had just lost—if only temporarily—his mother and thus his whole world. He was losing his connections to her, and to replace one with the image of a father he'd never met was to lose even more.

John reached up to touch Uly's hair. Two pictures flashed in his mind. One was of a young man in a grey suit. His eyes were dark, and so was his straight hair. He was neat and clean, the picture of perfection with his hair styled perfectly into place. He would be handsome if it wasn't for the displeasure vivid on his face, and the flash of anger in his eyes. The other picture was of an older man, wavy hair cropped close to his head. This man was in a suit from a decade or two earlier, but obviously very expensively tailored. His features appeared chiseled into his face, and his eyes were unreadable, but not unkind.

"Actually, Uly" John spoke, "your dad had straight hair, too. Dark, like your mom's. You get these curls," and he playfully tugged at a couple "from Grandfather Adair."

"Really?" Uly looked hopeful. "But…Grandfather Adair is bald."

True laughed. She was more than two years older than him. That meant she was probably, like, twice as smart. "He wasn't ALWAYS bald, probably. When he was younger, I guess, he had hair like yours, before it all started falling out because of stress and stuff."

Uly laughed. "Hey Yale," he turned to the tutor. John had nearly forgotten he'd been sitting there listening to the conversation. "Is that what happened to you? Why you don't have hair, I mean?"

Yale was looking at John funny, but he spared a glance at True and Uly to assure them that his hair fell out just because he was old, not because he was stressed out about anything. The kids accepted this explanation and then decided they would go bug Bess to see about giving them something to snack on before dinner.

John called out to them not to cause any trouble, but he smiled to himself as they ran off. Two weeks ago Uly wouldn't run anywhere, let alone to find something like a snack. If it took a pilfered fruit or two to make him feel more at ease, then John was willing to spare it.

He turned back to Yale to see him on the verge of speaking. Yale was not one for spontaneous exchange of words. John could see him choosing his vocabulary carefully, and he lifted a wary eyebrow.

"John," he began, hesitating. "I am curious about something. If you don't think it is too personal a question?" He looked at Eden Advance's new leader, afraid to overstep his boundaries, but when Danziger didn't say anything, he felt it safe to continue. "How did you have that information about Uly's father and his grandfather? Was it something that Devon shared with you?"

There was a silence from John.

Icicles dripping down my back, was all he could think of. That's what it felt like when Yale's words finally made sense to him. Like frozen water was coursing through his veins from the top of his head all the way down to his toes. He remembered seeing the two images in his mind. He knew who they were. He knew what it meant regarding Uly. He knew Devon had never shared any such thing with him.

He was getting very cold. He opened his mouth to answer, but his tongue was too dry. He looked at Yale, seeing confusion on the tutor's face. Wetting his lips, he slowly said, "Was I right, Yale?"

His only answer was a short nod. The world reeled just a little bit, and John firmly put it back into place. It was just a coincidence, of course. Yet another one of the strange things that happens when you put people into tough situations, and take away their sleep and make them face the unknown. Of course.

John gave a short laugh, and got up and left the fireside.

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"Are you saying I'm crazy, Doc?" Danziger asked, point-blank. His stance was belligerent, his jaw set.

Julia hesitated, unwilling to condemn or deny. She leaned forward from her perch on her chair. "I'm saying, John, that the grieving process is different for everyone. There are thoughts and emotions that must be dealt with, and how that happens depends on the person."

"She's not dead," he said. Firmly. Because he couldn't afford to be the one to suggest that it might be more the other way around. "There's nothing to grieve."

Alonzo looked sideways at Julia. She looked helplessly back at him. He cleared his throat, "No one's saying she's dead, Danziger. We're still going to find a way to help her, and when we do, we'll come back and get her. But that doesn't change the fact that she's not here right now. And I think that's the part that Julia's talking about."

Danziger was pacing the floor in the med-tent that Julia called home. He rubbed at his face, trying to make sense of the last hour. It didn't do much good since the purpose of the last hour was trying to make sense of how Danziger knew things he shouldn't know. He had thought that the incident with Uly was an isolated one. But after that he noticed how more and more he was having flashes of memories that weren't his. How he made decisions that were based on two opinions coming out of his one mind.

It was the Devon Game, but suddenly it was feeling more and more real. Maybe he was going crazy. It would sure be easy to explain everything away. He muttered to himself.

Alonzo caught it and lifted a brow, a small smile on his face. Julia looked at him questioningly. "What did he say?"

Alonzo looked at John who had stopped pacing just long enough to give Alonzo a leveling look. Alonzo didn't budge. He turned to Julia and repeated Danziger's words, loudly, clearly. "He said that if she wasn't here right now then why the hell was she arguing with him."

Her sharp gaze immediately went to John's face. "You feel like Devon's here arguing with you, John?" Her arm was very still where it was resting on her desktop, her face trying to convey an innocence to her question, but John heard the doubt.

He turned around to face the wall, and she and Alonzo both heard a weary sigh. When he turned back around he just looked tired. "Yeah, I mean no. I mean, I know she's not here. And she's not…arguing with me. Just, while I've been sitting here explaining to you everything that's going on, I've been getting this nagging feeling that I'm not saying things the right way. Like this part of me keeps saying that if Devon were here, she would say this differently, or do that differently. Sometimes the feeling is just there, but sometimes, like now" he scowled, "it's strong. Almost makes me want to start an argument with someone, anyone, so that I shut it up."

Alonzo grinned. "Nagging, huh? Sounds like Devon all right."

Julia ignored that comment and asked the first logical question to come to her mind. "When did this…feeling…start?" Danziger just looked at her, knowing what she would say if he told her it's been ever since Devon was put into cryo-sleep. Seeing Danziger's intent on silence, Julia shrugged and tried a different tactic.

"Okay, well, let's say that somehow Devon is finding a way to…influence the decisions you make, or the things you think, and that somehow you are sharing memories with her. How do you think that could be, since she's in cryo-sleep and neurologically unaware?"

Alonzo glared at her for the disbelief that came through her voice so strongly, and she threw up her hands. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know it sounds like I don't believe you, John. I do. I just don't understand it any better than you do, and I'm trying to make sense of it, that's all."

Danziger finally sat down. He put his head in his hands. He was going to tell them. He had not planned on saying anything to them about this. But the pesky "feeling" that was inhabiting the forefront of his brain as of late was putting the images strongly into the center of his mind. Better to go along with it, he supposed. It could be his own subconscious giving him hints. It didn't necessarily have to be the mind of a woman who was miles away and completely unconscious.

"I had a dream," he stated flatly. Alonzo exchanged another look with Julia, and Julia elbowed him in the ribcage before Danziger looked up. "The night she collapsed, the first time. She had asked me that night to promise to look after Uly and keep the group together and stuff. I'd thought it was strange, but I remember doing a similar thing when I thought I might die and leave behind a child with no family and no home. So I promised. But then I had a dream later that night where she asked me the same thing. Kept harping on about promises. I thought later that it was just because of what she'd said earlier, kinda weighing on my mind."

He paused to think. The little not-really-voice in his head didn't agree that the dream was just a product of his worried brain. He absently raised his hand to rub the side of his head. "It was very real. She'd been dying in the dream. Fading as I watched. When I woke up and remembered it, I was afraid that it had been real. That somehow she had died while she slept, but not before she made me promise."

The memory was vivid. It had been blurry that first day. But every day after when he called it back, it became clearer and clearer. He could see her fears etched on her face. He could feel her again as she clung to his arms and got weaker and weaker. He could hear her voice rasping at him to say the words. What words? The promises, he guessed. The scene flashed in his mind again where she asked the Terrians if they had heard his promise.

He frowned, concentrating, trying to understand what the Terrians had done. Alonzo and Julia saw this and called him back to the present.

"So you think that maybe the dream was on the Dreamplane?" Alonzo asked. "Most people don't think their dreams have real-life significance. But Dreamplane dreams, we know those can be very real."

Danziger nodded. "Well, I don't have much experience on the Dreamplane. It was all kinda hard to focus on, anyway. But I saw Terrians there, and that really sorta tipped me off."

"Terrians?" Julia asked, sitting up straighter. Terrians with Devon the night before she had a total system collapse could be very significant. Elizabeth had told Devon, while others listened, that the planet was going to reject them. She had kept her eyes on Devon, and the image had haunted Julia for many nights, as if Elizabeth was delivering a warning. If only Julia had known ahead of time that Devon was suffering from something unrelated to the illnesses of the others, maybe she could have found something to stop the planet's rejection. Maybe she could have struck a deal with Terrians.

Maybe that's what Devon did. Alonzo had obviously reached a similar conclusion, since he demanded a full accounting from Danziger.

So John started from the beginning. Said how he'd been called from sleep, and arrived in the dream to have Adair yelling at him for not listening to her. But then she turned desperate to have him promise things.

"What things, exactly?" Julia asked.

Danziger thought about it, trying to explain something he wasn't entirely sure of. "It was hard to hear her. She was weak and sorta fading in and out. She mentioned the kids, and Eden Advance, and New Pacifica."

Alonzo digested this and said, "Yeah, but those were things that you'd already promised her."

"I know, I know. I thought so, too." He waved his hand in the air, dismissing that idea. "But then she went on to something else that didn't make any sense. She kept saying something about taking her." He didn't have to look at Alonzo to hear the humor in his voice when he asked, "Take her? You dreamed she told you take her, and you think that didn't make any sense?"

John just scowled. "Give it a rest, Solace."

Julia decided it was up to her to ask the obvious question. "Take her where? To New Pacifica?"

"I don't know. I thought maybe that was what she meant. I said of course we were going to take her. I didn't know at the time that she was going to be so sick, or that we'd have to leave her behind in a cryo-pod. I just thought that if we were well enough to move on, she'd be with us. But she made like that wasn't going to happen. Said the Terrians had to cure her or something, but I still had to take her."

"Wait," Julia interrupted John's story. "She said the Terrians were going to cure her? Why would they cure her, and not the rest of us? For that matter, why would the rest of us be able to move on without a cure, and she had to wait?"

Alonzo answered, moving to her side while he thought it out. "She obviously knew that she didn't have a biostat chip, Julia. When she figured that out, she figured out that if the rest of us made it out of here, she'd still have to deal with whatever it was that was making her sick."

Julia followed his line of thinking. "So she makes a deal with the Terrians?" She frowned. That didn't sound like Devon. To do something like that without telling the group, knowing how important it could be to them and to her son. Especially if she wanted the group to move on without her.

John didn't think that was how it went. "I think the Terrians caused it. She kept saying how her time was short. It was like she knew she only had a day or so, and how would she know that unless someone told her? How would THEY know that unless they had something to do with it?"

Alonzo protested. "Hey, that's jumping to conclusions. They were there, okay, in this dream that we think happened on the Dreamplane. But they could have been there to help her, just as much as to stop her. Was there anything else that happened in the dream? Did you promise to" his mouth twitched, avoiding a smile, "take her?"

John grimaced, sensing a long-running joke in the making. "I promised her whatever she wanted, whatever she needed. She was falling over, and while I was holding her up I could feel her just collapsing. I was worried. I promised. And then she looked over at the Terrians and asked if they had heard, and if it was enough."

As always, Julia's mind was carefully piecing together details. "If they had heard what?"

"I dunno. My promise, I think. It's the only thing we were talking about."

"Well then," she began slowly, "what would it have to be enough for?"

Alonzo considered it. "The Terrians don't deal much with deception. So if someone says they'll do something, there's no two ways about it. But they are also careful to make sure that the person really says they'll do it. When Devon made her promise to the Terrians, she never got any specifics. But she said she'd do anything, and they held it to her. I think John just made a promise without specifics. He said whatever she wanted, whatever she needed. The Terrians obviously took that as consent to something."

"The flash of light." John remembered. "There was a flash of light. She was dying, I felt it, and I turned to yell at the Terrians. They raised their staffs, and I always thought it was because of my anger. But then I got hit by this bright light, and…nothing happened. I went back to sleep. I didn't wake up until morning, and barely remembered anything right away. Maybe they did something with that flash of light."

"Like link you together?" Julia asked.

Alonzo brightened. "Hey, maybe that has something to do with why you fainted that day we put Devon into that pod."

John answered the jab dutifully, "I did not faint, Solace. I don't faint."

Julia wisely didn't comment on this, and turned to Alonzo and asked him, "Have you been in contact with any Terrians recently?"

Alonzo shook his head. "Ever since they had found Bennett and Anson, the Terrians hadn't really made themselves known. "But I could try to reach them. Ask them if they know what's going on. We'll figure it out, Danziger. Don't worry, I don't think you're in any danger or anything."

John just muttered something. Again Alonzo caught it and relayed it to Julia, just to annoy Danziger. It was fun having something to tease him with every once in a while. Danziger was just so serious and busy all the time. "He said some people would think slowly being driven insane by Adair was dangerous."

On his way out, he playfully punched John in the shoulder. "Women, they make you insane. But sometimes it's worth it."

John scowled at his retreating form. And Julia tried not to smile. At the risk of having him scowl at her, too, she ventured to ask, "You miss her a lot?"

John sighed. "I am not making this up, Julia. This is not some psychological way of dealing with grief."

Julia got up from her seat and began to bustle around the tent. There were things she needed to clean up before the day ended. "I'm not saying that." She carefully stacked some of her slides, and set them aside for her to examine early tomorrow before they moved out. This talk had cut into some of the time she'd had planed on cataloguing the vegetation in the area. "I miss her, too. She was the heart of this group. It's harder to move forward without her. You're doing a great job, John."

"But I'm not Devon" he concluded.

Julia carefully didn't look at him as she put away her Diaglove. "Well, we'll see what the Terrians have to say, and then decide that."

She heard him stomp out of the tent, and permitted herself a quiet laugh. She knew why Lonz was having fun teasing him. No one did it anymore. As if being the leader of this group meant that he was outside the realm of jokes. Or maybe they were just trying to respect his responsibility, or his grief.

If somehow John had a connection to Devon that was assisted by the Terrians, then she didn't see how it could be a negative thing. Devon was smart and she had been planning this expedition for years. Her loss had been a hard one, and to have some part of her available to consult was more than they could hope for.

It might drive Danziger crazy for a little while, but only until he understood that it meant there was still hope for Devon to get out of that cryo-pod.