Title: Dark Nights, Brighter Horizons
Author: ForensicFreak (a.k.a. Emmy)
Rating: PG, just to be safe
Disclaimer: I don't own CSI or any of the characters... but wouldn't it be so cool if a G/S 'shipper DID own the show? Man, that would totally rock.../end wishful thinking I also don't own the lyrics at the end of the fic (those belong to Sarah McLachlan). The song is "Answer" from her Afterglow CD.
Summary: (Post-ep "Bloodlines") Everyone has their moments of weakness. Hers was now. {GSR}
Classification: angsty fluff, or just angst, or fluff.... however you want to interpret it
Spoilers: um, none that are specific enough to mention
Archiving: Ask first, and it'll be totally cool.
Author's Note: Many, many kudos to my beta reader, Ash. I had serious doubts about posting this, but she (as well as some other friends of mine) said it's good -- why shouldn't I post it?, they all said. My first CSI fic, so feedback is very much appreciated... flames will be used to build a bonfire (mm, toasty!).
=================================================================
She sat in front of the windows, watching the rain cascade down as lightning flashed across the sky. Candles were burning strategically around her apartment, giving it a decidedly saddened glow. The power had gone out about an hour after Grissom had brought her home, and she had yet to move from where she had sat down two hours earlier. The rain held her transfixed, the beauty of it, how it cleansed everything it touched. An occasional tear would roll down her cheek as she thought about everything that had happened in the past four years since she moved to Las Vegas. Most of her memories were good ones; but the more she thought about recent times, the faster the tears feel. She couldn't stop them... nor did she really want to.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He had been sitting outside her apartment building for the past hour and forty-five minutes. The storm had knocked out the power at his townhouse, and he wanted to check up on Sara to make sure she was ok. He sat in his SUV, contemplating whether or not he should go up to see her. The memories of the last two years, when things had started going bad for them, flooded his mind. He feared checking in on her, not wanting to seem like he didn't trust her to be alone, but not wanted to seem uncaring or unconcerned. As another bright flash of lightning lit up the sky, he decided that it was now or never. He took a deep breath and opening the door of his Denali, made a mad dash to the safety of her building as the heavens let loose the rain.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
She felt, more than heard, someone enter her apartment. It wasn't until he was within a few feet of her that he said anything. "Sara, are you ok?"
When he didn't get a response, he gently touched her shoulder as a loud clap of thunder crashed, making the windows vibrate. Whether she jumped at his touch or from the sound, he couldn't tell; but he knelt down beside her, moving his hand to her back in a soothing gesture nonetheless. She finally turned to him, the tear stains evident on her cheeks.
"I'm so tired, Grissom. So tired of fighting with you, and trying so hard to please you so you'll look at me instead of past me... tired of fighting this thing between us."
His heart broke at her pained expression and toneless, detached voice. Grissom had often wondered when the shell of the woman who had sat beside him at the police station had replaced the Sara he used to know... the Sara who had, what seemed to be, never-ending amounts of energy and a grin always at the ready.
She turned to look outside again and continued. "There are so many reasons why I should leave, start over new somewhere else... but I can't, because you won't be there. I'm so in love with you that no matter where I am, my heart will always be here, with you. Which is why I started drinking. I drank because it helped me to forget how you and everyone else treated me... the bad cases and the nightmares... the pain of just living. It was a substitute to what used to help: work. Whenever I would feel depressed, I'd work... it helped dull the ache. Now, it just makes the pain worse." The tears had started again, and they were falling faster than the rain. "Please, help me, Gil. Make the pain go away..."
Her soulful plea broke down all of the walls surrounding his heart, all the reasons why he had pushed her away, and he took her into his arms. She sobbed on his shoulder, her hot tears bringing wetness to his own eyes. He slowly rubbed her back while whispering small words of comfort to her. "It's ok honey, I'm here now. Everything's going to be alright..."
When her tears finally stopped, he pulled her to her feet and led her in the direction he hoped was her bedroom. At the end of the hallway, he pushed a door open and waited as she walked in and got her clothes to change into for bed. She walked back out into what he assumed was the bathroom, and shut the door. He slowly walked into her room, taking in every detail. The pale reds and purples of the decor were a perfect compliment to her personality: dark, beautiful, and mysterious. He turned back the sheets on her bed, preparing it for her return. She quietly walked back in, her size-too-big t-shirt coming down to her knees. He pulled the covers over her when she climbed into the bed, gently tucking her in as if she might break if handled wrong. She gave a tired sigh, and he smiled as he gently caressed her cheek with the back of his hand. No words were needed; everything that had to be said could wait until tomorrow. He backed out of her room and cast a loving glance at her one last time before shutting the door quietly behind him. He blew out the candles scattered around her apartment as he made his way back to her living room. Shedding his jacket and toeing off his shoes, he settled back into her couch.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
As they each drifted off to sleep, they shared the same comforting thought: when they awoke in the morning, everything would be better because someone would be there, someone who cared.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
While the storm raged on outside, Sara's normally dark and horrific nightmares finally gave way to a brighter horizon... a brighter horizon that would also dawn over the city of sin the next morning.
Cast me gently into morning
For the night has been unkind...