Future by Mandarax
Rated K
Summary –Obviously things are going to change. Nothing lasts forever, right? Sam angst. Threads episode tag.
Disclaimer – yup. I know.
***
She leaned against the porch doorframe, her fingers laced around a steaming cup of coffee, her eyes gazing unfocused through the glass door outside at the wooden porch, the pond, the trees, all barely lit by the stars above.
It was early. Too early. She was never one to sleep in but 0500 hours on a weekend and while on a sort of vacation was early even for her. It was the location and the situation, she told herself. There were perfectly fine excuses for why she couldn't sleep. She's away from her familiar surroundings – her home, her bed. Away even her home-away from home - her SGC quarters. She was lying to herself and she knew it, but for reasons she didn't particularly want to dig deeper into at 0510 in the morning, the lies comforted her.
If she did try to be honest with herself for once, she would at least be able to admit to herself that things were good now. She had almost everything she wanted. She could settle for that. Maybe her father wasn't right. As a kid he always told her that she couldn't have everything. She ought to stick with what she knows, she realized. And this was nice, really. The four of them, SG1, kicking back, fishing, talking, relaxing, and taking random trips down memory lane. They'd been eating and drinking and laughing and generally not doing much for most of the day. They spent the evening on the porch she was currently staring over reminiscing. As they headed each to their respective bed, Daniel idly commented that perhaps they'll spend the rest of their downtime talking about the future and not the past. He smiled at her when they heard the General mutter something about this being a vacation and no plans please before he closed his bedroom door. She shook her head at him, amused, and closed her own door.
But she hadn't been able to sleep. What if there was a reason they weren't talking about the future? What if this was goodbye? What if she wouldn't see any of them ever again? Well no, that would never happen. But what if they would never be just the four of them together again? Obviously there won't any missions off world again anytime soon. This was the end of SG1 as they knew it. the first blow came when then Colonel O'Neill made General and left the team to run the SGC. But at least he was still around. And now the team was breaking up completely.
She sighed softly to herself and took another sip of her coffee. Okay, so maybe she was over-reacting. They are her family. She knows them better than she knows her flash and blood brother. She couldn't think of a day passing without talking to either of them. But obviously things are going to change. Nothing lasts forever, right? Daniel would be leaving for Atlantis soon. Teal'c's joining Bra'tac, R'yac and the New Jaffa Nation high council, and thus leaving Earth. And General O'Neill is heading to Washington DC to take General Hammond's place as the head of Homeworld Security. There was no reason for her to stay at the SGC, it would only serve to remind of what used to be. Which was why she accepted a posting as head of R&D at Area 51. She always wanted to have the time to investigate the gadgets and gizmos they'd brought back from off world missions before they were sent to Area 51, she told herself. Now would be her chance.
She took another sip of her coffee. The cabin and the lake and trees really were beautiful, she had to admit. And just as relaxing as he always said it would be. She wasn't sure how to refer to him anymore. The General and General O'Neill are too formal for someone she regard with such high esteem and related to on a close personal level that could be well established as a close friend. On the other hand, Jack is too informal for someone who is, in fact, still her commanding officer. At least for the next few days. In a few days time she won't be in his direct chain of command, but he's still always going to be her superior. Where would that leave them? They were friends, certainly, but were they more? Was what they'd locked in the observation room four years earlier still there, waiting to be let out? She let out a soft chuckle. Yes, of course it is. She always knew it. It was why Pete was gone. It was why Kerry was gone. The real question was what they would do about it now.
The sun was coming up above the treeline now, coloring the earth with beautiful reds and yellows and blues. She set her back straight, pulling away from the doorframe. Okay. So things are going to change. Daniel will be away for a while but he'll still visit and eventually he'll come back. Teal'c's going to be safe and has scheduled check-ins with the SGC. The Jaffa are Earth's allies and will keep in touch. And Jack, she'd settled on Jack, well, he'll be in DC. Of the three of them, he's the only one staying in the same Galaxy, on the same planet as her. That had to be a plus. And she'll be in Nevada with Cassie.
She looked down at her now empty cup of coffee and back out at the blossoming day.
A sound behind her alerted to another presence in the room and she glanced out the corner of her eye in the direction of the sound.
"Can't sleep?" she murmured.
He moved to stand next to her, shoulder to shoulder. "What's your excuse?"
"Been trying to come up with one for the last half hour," she looked up at him with a small half smile. "You?"
"These things keep running in my head which is fine except I can't sleep."
She chuckled, "what's on your mind?"
"You first," he said as he half turned towards her.
She stared outside silently for a moment, surveying the early morning sun now working its way up the sky. "It's beautiful here."
"I told you."
She was surprised when his voice was so near her ear. She was even more surprised when she felt his lips on her shoulder.
"Yes, you did," she breathed as her eyes fluttered close. "This is new."
His hands landed on her waist and he pulled her back against his chest. "Kind of wasn't allowed to do this before." His lips were moving up the nape of her neck. "This is what's been on my mind," he said between tiny kisses.
"Technically you're still now allowed," she whispered and turned her head to allow him better access.
"I can stop if you want."
"No," she said quickly. "Don't you dare."
But he stopped anyway when he reached her earlobe. He planted a kiss right behind her ear and took the empty coffee cup from her hand. He set it down on the coffee table, using the piece of furniture to physically distance himself from her.
"You stopped," she moaned as she opened her eyes and turned to look at him.
"Sorry," he smiled.
"Jack – " she wanted to tell him to come back, to never stop, that nothing mattered anymore. Only him, only them.
"I'm still your CO," he shrugged. "At least for another couple of days."
"And then what?" she crossed her arms in front of her. It was a defensive move and they both knew it but she needed to protect herself just in case he didn't intend to finish what he'd just started.
"And then you go to Nevada and I go play bureaucrat in DC." He shrugged his shoulders as if it was obvious. Maybe it was.
She bit the inside of her cheek trying to decide what she had to say to that. It's not that she expected heartfelt confessions from this man who didn't know how to share feelings. Hell, she wasn't sure she could share hers either. They'd both been hiding behind masks for so long. She didn't know what to say. But she didn't need to say anything. He was talking again.
"And when we can both get away we'll spend time together. I'll probably have to come to Nevada to inspect some toy your team is going to work on at some point, and I can promise you the head of Area 51's R&D department is going to have to come visit the big leagues in the Pentagon at least once a month."
"Is that all we get?" she whispered.
"There's the holidays. Paper pushers have a tendency to take half the year off just because it's the holiday season. We'll come here," he said with a disarming smile.
He moved to her, took her in his arms. "I know it isn't much. But it's for now. We can work out the rest later."
"You have it all figured out, haven't you?" she smiled up at him, her hand sliding up his arm to cup his face.
"I figured you're going to over-think everything so I better get a head start."
She laughed softly at his words, because he knew her so well. He knew she would try to solve this as best they can, working with the variables they had – both not prepared to quit the Air Force quite yet, both going to be far away from home, both knowing that what they do is much too important to stop now. For now this will work. "Alright," she whispered.
"Alright," he smiled. "Now I'm going to seal the deal with a kiss if you don't mind."
She nodded once and he lowered his lips to hers, kissing her softly, gently, slowly with a promise of so much more. When he pulled away she sighed softly and lay her head against his chest.
"Now come to bed, it's way too early to have a discussion about the future," he whispered as he tugged her hand.
As she let him led her to his bed, she realized that maybe her dad was right, she could have it all. Maybe the future wasn't set in stone. Maybe Daniel won't go to Atlantis and Teal'c won't leave Earth after all. Maybe she won't stay at Area 51. The only thing she knew for certain was that his role in her future was about to change completely.