Panda tapped the end of his pencil. The page was still blank. After hours of sitting there, planning out his vision and stroke order, he had nothing to show for it. He leaned back in his chair and sighed, kicking his heel on top of his desk. Removing his thick-framed glasses, he rubbed his eyes. Leaning back an inch further, his heel slipped from the edge of the desk and slammed to the ground with a thud. Panda yelped and attempted to lean forward, reaching for his foot, but the chair slid across the floor, and he flew off, landing hard on his bottom. "Ow!" he groaned, touching his forehead, feeling around for a knot.
"You okay, Pan-Pan?" Grizz asked from the other room.
"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." Panda dusted himself off before grumpily stomping out of his bedroom, heading toward the kitchen.
"Hey, bro! Wanna join? The boss level is coming up!"
"Ice Bears kills evil bourgeoisie with ax."
Grizz turns to their youngest brother. "Dude, lighten up and chill. I didn't get one hit last round."
"Sorry." Ice Bear turned back to stare at the selection screen on the TV.
"So, what do you say, Pan?"
Panda ran a finger across the gnash on his forehead, "Ugh, not now! I'm getting a headache and I have to post new art by tonight for my fans!" He crept toward the sink and turned on the faucet to let clean water run.
"Aw! I'm so proud of you, bro! How many fans you got now?"
"Well," Panda shrugged, a sheepish smile crossed his face, "I got three likes on the last thing I posted on Rumblr." He grabbed the first glass he could find in the cabinet, then headed back to the sink.
"Oh, that's less than last time...I'm sure people will love whatever you post next though!" Grizz offered an encouraging smile, though his brother couldn't see it.
"Yeah," he somberly responded, lifting the glass of water to his lips. The window before him offered a nice distraction for the moment. The sun had set an hour ago, but there was still a glow off in the horizon, glistening against the deep forest and highlighting the emerging stars. He bit his lip and wondered what Charlie could be doing now. Charlie. He didn't want to admit it, but he kept thinking of him to the point where he couldn't sleep and couldn't draw what he wanted to. Months had past since he first painted Charlie, but he was still struggling to paint anything at that level. Whenever he paints Charlie, no matter how bad the line art is, the piece itself is always leagues beyond his fanart.
The forest background presented an alternative for his artist block. He could paint a landscape of the environment. which would be a different direction compared to his usual pursuits.
"You're a genius, Panda," he told his reflection, beaming at the prospect of his new project. Then, tipped the glass back to take another sip.
Bang! A large hand smacked against the window. A face appeared smiling brightly. Charlie smudged his expression against the glass as he began to speak, "Oh, hey, Pumpkin!"
"Charlie!" he spattered, spewing water from his mouth.
Grizz piped up from the couch and yelled, "Oh, Charlie! What's up!?"
"Ice Bear beat level fifty boss," Ice stated nonchalantly, setting the controlled aside.
"Wait, what? How'd you do that? We couldn't get past the locked door!"
His brothers' antics were nothing more than soft background noise to the sound of his heart pounding. Panda stood still, transfixed by Charlie's presence. A dribble of water was still on his cheek, but he couldn't bother wiping it away, making a bigger fool of himself. His mouth was slowly dropping, amazed by the creature before him. "Charlie," he silently mouthed.
"Don't worry. I'll go around to the front door," Charlie waved and peeled himself away from the window.
Panda's shoulders sunk as his mind whirled. Blush emerged across his cheeks as he slowly made his way into the living room.
Charlie opened the front door and entered. "So, do my buddies have any plans for tonight?" He languidly made his way to the couch and sat in between Grizz and Ice Bear.
Panda's heart was slowly sinking, but he couldn't place the reason why.
"Well, we were playing Hungry Boss Fighters 4, but bro here nearly ruined it," Grizz gestured to Ice Bear.
"Needs more challenge and weapons."
"Ooooh! What about we download that mod I was telling you about!? We could totally use that heavy ham hammer on the butcher level!"
"Sounds good," Ice Bear agreed, and the two immediately began to search online for ways to enhance their gaming experience.
Charlie looked on in amazement, asking relevant questions as the bears tried to answer him the best they could.
Panda stood at the edge of the room, rubbing his arm while clumsily holding the half filled cup of water. He surveyed the room, then turned back to the hallway. "Well, I have to get back to working -"
"Ok, bro! Don't want to interrupt the art groove, but come out when you can."
"Huh?" Panda turned around abruptly, caught off guard by the comment.
"Come out of your room when you're ready to take a break. You can't be cooped up all night," Grizz added.
"Ice Bear agrees."
"Oh, yeah. You're right," Panda chuckled and turned back around. "I'll try to keep that in mind." He limped away only a few inches, avoiding putting weight onto his scuffed heel. A hand pulled him back. Panda's head swiveled to see Charlie standing above him, the overhead light blinding his vision.
"Pan-Pan, are you okay?"
"What? I'm fine!"
Charlie ran a finger across the gnash on Panda's forehead. Panda winced. "Oh no, my Panda's hurt! How did I not see this earlier?"
"I'm fine, Charlie! It's just a cut," he protested, but Charlie didn't listen, and led Panda to the couch. Grizz scooted toward Ice Bear to make room (and to avoid having Charlie sit next to either of them).
"Sit right here! I'll go get some ice." Charlie meandered away and began to knock over pots on the kitchen counter. "Don't worry! It's fine! I got it!"
"But Ice is right here!" Ice Bear mocked and raised his hand.
Grizz leaned over to the middle brother and whispered, "Hey, if you want to go back to your room, I'll cover for you."
Panda glowered, taken aback from his brother's offer.
"Ice Bear wants Panda to make art."
He responded back with a sigh and lowered his head. "He's just trying to help, and I know you guys are too, but..." Panda looked into the kitchen with sullen eyes. Charlie was making ruckus and grumbling to himself. Panda allowed himself to smile at the thought of Charlie being a total goof in the next room. If he had gone back to the blank page to try to draw, while listening to Charlie chat with his brothers, the page will remain blank. He'd grow frustrated, anxious, and even farther from his goal.
"Oh look, Panda! It's your muse!" Grizz pointed at the screen. "You can get a Miki-Chan skin and play as her -and download!"
Charlie walked back into the room, hands full of bare ice. He gasped, a dropped cubes onto the floor. "Can I play as me!? That'd be so cool if I could play alongside Panda!" He bent down and began picking up the melting ice, but other pieces fell from his arms all the while. "My bad! I got this!"
"Charlie -" Panda reached out to warn him, but it was too late. He had slipped on the forming puddle, causing more ice to fly everywhere.
"Whoops!" Charlie landed on his back, splashing droplets into the air.
Grizz and Ice Bear leaned over out of concern, though Ice was glaring at Charlie. "Ice Bear's ice...destroyed."
"Ah, don't worry, guys! I'm fine." He held up an ice cube to Panda. "Here you go, Pumpkin."
Panda took it reluctantly. "Uh, thanks, but I think you need it more than me." Despite not wanting it, he pressed the cold cube against his forehead. He began to relax, feeling as if it actually eased his mild headache. The relaxing feeling went as quickly as it came when the ice cube began to melt, allowing water to drip onto his eyelid.
"Oh, we can share some!" Charlie said, squeezing in between Grizz and Panda. He cradled the remaining ice cubes in his arms. "I got plenty for both of us," Charlie placed a cube on his own skidded knee, then passed another over to Panda and pressed it against the bear's forehead. Panda unintentionally let blush roll across his cheeks. Charlie gleamed, looking into Panda's eyes. "There, there. You'll be all better now that I'm here, Pan-Pan." Charlie wrapped an arm around Panda and squeezed him close.
Panda's hand slipped and dropped a piece of ice, streaking more water across his face. "Ugh, Charlie!"
Grizz tapped Charlie's shoulder. "Hey, man, you can put the ice in a plastic baggy -"
"Plastic kills our environment," Ice Bear interjected.
"-and maybe get some Band-Aids for the cuts," Grizz continued.
"Oh gosh! That's a great idea! Why didn't I think of that?" Charlie placed the ice in Panda's lap and started to waddle away. "Oh, wait. Where do you keep your bags and Band-Aids?"
"Ah, I think the last bag is in Panda's room. He was using it for art supplies. You done with bag, bro?"
Panda's heart began beating fast, watching Charlie walk around their cave. "Yeah, yeah. It's on my desk." His desk. The empty paper with no inspiration. God, why did Charlie have to go into his room?
"So when are you going to tell him?" Grizz whispered.
"What?" Panda jumped.
"Ice Bear's rooting for you."
"If you don't want him to help, you can just say so, Pan."
"Oh, that...Yeah," Panda rubbed his arm again and watched the ice melt in his lap. He looked at what little reflection of his face showed up on the ice cubes. Lately, looking at himself has been causing a lot of emotional pain. He didn't want to be reminded what he looked like. He never had a successful relationship and his chubby, feminine face definitely contributed to that. He just wanted to be looked at and loved for who he is. Charlie was just making things more complicated.
"Panda!" Charlie shouted out with delight from the room. He stomped out, running up to Panda like a child, and held out a canvas painting. The painting showed Charlie sitting on a cliff overlooking the city with the sun setting. In it, Charlie's gaze was toward the audience, rather than the city. The colors were cool, yet vibrant, combining the calmness of blues and greens.
Panda's heart sank. "Uh, I can explain -"
"It's gorgeous! I love it!" Charlie held it high up to the ceiling. "I didn't know you still drew me!"
Grizz and Ice Bear glanced at the painting, then eyed Panda, then looked at Charlie.
"That's from-" Panda tried to get the words out, but he was at a lost, and begin tripping over his sentence.
"Ice Bear's impressed."
"Yeah, that's really good, bro. What made you draw Charlie again?"
"I didn't! Those are old! When I tried recreating the last one," he lied. "Where's the plastic baggy, Charlie?" He grew impatient and wanted to change the subject.
"Oh, here you go, Pumpkin." Charlie laid down the bag on the coffee table.
"Thank you!" Panda sighed, exasperated, and began to pile the ice into the baggy.
"Panda, I'm sorry that I looked at them. I hope you don't mind. But there were so many of them! If I could keep them all, I would. You're such a great artist, Panda."
"Wait, there's more than that? Panda, how many pictures -" Grizz began to ask, growing both confused and concerned for his brother.
Panda ignored the question and passed the baggy of ice to Charlie. "Here, you need it more than I do."
"Oh, thanks, Pan-Pan. But what about your forehead?" Charlie sat on the ground now holding the baggy to his knee and reacting in amazement at how the ice made the swelling feel.
"Eh, I didn't really need it in the first place, but it's nice -thoughtful, actually- that you went to care for me."
"Well, of course, I'd care for you! I always care for you!"
Panda looked away and blushed. "You don't have to say it like that."
"Hey, Charlie! Can I see that?" Grizz gestured toward the painting and picked it up. Him and Ice Bear inspected it closer, their mouths dropping. "This is so good. Did you say there were more?"
Panda groaned that he went back to that question. Grizz wasn't going to let it go that easily.
"Oh yeah! Tons! They weren't hidden either. I would never intentionally go through your stuff, Panda," he reached out his hand to comfort his best bud. "They were all sitting there in a pile in the corner, like right by the door! Ah, I can't believe you like me that much, Pan-Man, and you didn't even tell me you had them!" Charlie began to ramble. Panda, unsure of what to say, giggled every now and then and shook his head in an attempt to deflect any praise. "Oh, there was these sketchbook pages of Panda in a suit! It looked so nice!"
Panda's eyes went wide, realizing how much Charlie saw of the art. There wasn't just exclusively Charlie art in the pile. There were also concept pieces that were overly personal. He had drawn all of his bros in a suit and even one of Charlie in one -except that one didn't turn out as well as he would have liked.
Grizz poured over the painting. "These get any likes on Rumblr?"
"I -uh- don't post them there."
"What? Why not? The quality is so good! You could get so many likes, bro," Grizz spread out his arms to show his excitement.
"Because they were a secret. Secret art, if you will," he shrugged.
Charlie began to back peddle his rambling. "Oh gosh, Panda! I'm sorry. I didn't know they were a secret. I wouldn't have looked as much as I did, or showed it to your brothers. Can you forgive me?"
"Charlie, it's fine. I couldn't keep the secret forever."
Grizz looked to Ice Bear in confusion before speaking. "Panda, if you've been drawing these in secret, then wouldn't that make them recent?"
I shiver shot down Panda's back. "Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't know what else to draw, and Charlie just comes so naturally now."
"Aw shucks," Charlie flapped away the compliment, blushing.
"Ice Bear thinks art block is gone."
Grizz stared, dumbfounded as his brain began connecting the dots, then he lit up. "Panda! Why didn't you tell us!?"
Without even thinking, Panda jumped toward his brother and covered his mouth. The realization was bubbling up, and Panda couldn't let his brothers be the ones to state the obvious first.
"Oh, what's going on over there, buds? Is this a new game?" Charlie inquired, wondering what on Earth Panda could be doing.
"More art," Ice Bear expressed bluntly to defuse the situation.
"Aw man, I could go get some! If you don't mind that is, Panda?" Charlie stood up and prepared to go back into Panda's room.
"Uh, no... That's fine. You can go bring back some more." Panda released his hand away from Grizz.
In the silence, the three brothers began to contemplate on what was being shared between them; the secret that was unfolding quickly before their eyes.
"Your art is always amazing when it includes Charlie," he stated slowly.
"Yeah, I know," Panda sunk deeper into the couch, then smiled when Charlie re-entered the room. "It is."
"This one is my favorite! Oh wait, maybe this one is! Look at all of us in our suits! And this one has flower crowns. Oh, and look, even Panda Jr. has his own fanart!"
"So, when are you going to tell him?"
"It's a secret."