Hello there. This marks my first composition on FFN on this account. :D

I intended each chapter to stand on its own, and for this to be a little collection of fics about Kotetsu and Barnaby. They're a little pointless and nonsensical and might or might not connect with each other, but I hope you enjoy them. They aren't set anywhere in particular in the series' timeline, but I like to think that they're in this little vacuum of timespace where everyone os just living their daily lives in Sternbild.

With pleasure,

-panzerkatzen

1 - Impeccable

Barnaby Brooks Jr, for all his fans and his publicity made him out to be, was not perfect.

His immaculate golden buttery curls were a bright, shining mess in the morning when he got up. He'd make his way to the bathroom in a half-dreaming state, take a good look at himself and wonder how it was that curly haired-men managed to tame their locks in the morning. After having a light breakfast and a quick shower, Barnaby Brooks Jr would set aside some 30 minutes or so (or more, if he'd woken up with a particularly bad case of bed head) with a small collection of hair products to work on his milliom dollar locks.

Kotetsu's only culinary specialty was fried rice, but Barnaby wasn't much better. He could do the basics all right - omelettes, pasta, simple fried food - but with his hectic schedule he rarely had time to practice making more elaborate foods. He would sometimes set one rest day to perfect a recipe or an old time favorite that Ms. Samantha made him as a kid. He'd start the day with a spread of elaborate high quality ingredients and a look of determination. On less fortituous attempts he would sometimes regretfully order Chinese takeout. On better attempts he would sit and watch the Sternbild news channels with a smug look of triumph on his face.

The month that he'd tried making fried rice, he'd gone to several specialty stores to purchase different varieties of rice. He'd messed up the first batch of rice that he'd made. (He'd gotten a Hero alert from Agnes, you see. It had totally slipped his mind.) The next day he immediately bought a multipurpose rice cooker (the kind that you could use for hot pot) and resolved to try better. Then when he tried frying it, it stuck to the pan.

Barnaby Brooks Jr was good at driving, but had a weakness common to many drivers - parking. He would periodically grapple with this enemy when he visited Kotetsu over on the Bronze stage. Why Kotetsu didn't have a garage was perplexing to him. He bought his particular apartment because he could have his car parked by a valet. Any time he could borrow the Apollon Media company car (and driver), he would borrow it.

Barnaby found women (and the occasional man; some men simply made everyone's heads turn. Barnaby Brooks Jr was one such man.) attractive, but had never been able to hold onto one for longer than a year. He couldn't date a fan, he thought it improper. Neither would he think of dating anyone at work. Before becoming a Hero he would sometimes go on blind dates... but somehow he never really managed to find a lot to talk about aside from literature and operas he was familiar with.

Kotetsu and Nathan would sometimes try to give him tips for this, borrowing Karina (or Ivan, when Karina was busy, because Ivan made for a very pretty woman when told to be) for practice. Karina was heard to remark afterwards that for all of Barnaby's good looks, he wasn't a person that would work very well on the market. (Ivan on the other hand, thought Barnaby was just fine, and at one point seemed to even ask Barnaby for any physical preferences he may have had for a date. Nathan thought his enthusiasm charming; Barnaby did not share the same sentiment.)

There was one aspect of life wherein Barnaby was pretty damn close to perfect, and that was in the workplace. All his paperwork was turned in straight on time without a leaf out of place or a signature missing. His reports were detailed but concise, informative but succinct. His interviews to the press were stellar, and every published photo of him put him in a very attractive light. He was always nice and civil to his fans, but held his job and duty as a priority. He even stepped in to help Kotetsu with his paperwork every so often.

For a time however there was one little thing that Barnaby did not have in the workplace, and that was a friend. Barmaby did not envy the Apollon Media staff that would go out drinking in the evening after work, nor did he ever go with them. He was invited once or twice but Barnaby knew that he was being asked out of politeness. Either way, he didn't feel like he would get along with them very well.

When Kotetsu started dragging him to bars, Barnaby would voice out his complaints. He had work the next day, he'd say, and so do you, ojisan, but Kotetsu kept at it and soon had Barnaby going to their weekly happy hour with Antonio (and occasionally Nathan when he wasn't too busy running his company). Kotetsu would order beer, sometimes shochu or sake, and Barnaby would order a light beer and sometimes a simple cocktail. Cocktails are for women, Kotetsu would say, and order Barnaby some more powerful drink to try, just once, you'll like it, I promise.

And inevitably at some point in the evening Barnaby would get drunk, because he wasn't very used to this sort of thing and was usually a drinker of white or red wines over dinner. And Kotetsu would usually bring Barnaby home, type in the password for the keypad (which Barmaby did not ever remember giving to him), drag Barnaby into bed and tuck him in. On nights when even Kotetsu was wasted, Barnaby would find him snoring loudly in his one and only armchair.

Barnaby would sigh and head to the bathroom and realize that he would have to fix his hair again for the morning.