Disclaimer I do not own Demons or anything to do with it.
24th of January 2009 9:30pm
Forever is an age that most people will never reach, but at 150 I'd say I stand a better chance than most, the blood of Dracula running through my veins keeping me looking the same now as I did then, stuck while everyone I knew and loved died, my poor sweet Jonathon, and Quincy our son, he wasn't always so dangerous, I saved his life more than once, I was so blinded by the love I felt for my son, who had once reminded me so much of his father, that I didn't care. I could see him for what he was. A monster. But I didn't care, he was my son, my only son and the last part of the past I so desperately desired. I know his death was for the best, still after so long apart I didn't think it would be this hard. Being here in the stacks helps, and not being alone, having Luke and Galvin and even, dare I say it Ruby also helps. She was right Ruby, being able to see again for so long, even if it only for a few hours, being able to see colours, lights and shapes instead of a never-ending darkness. In a strange way though I like the darkness, it's familiar and safe. It's also the thing reminding me of my humanity, the choice I make every day the choice between my sight and my humanity, that to gain one thing I have to give up another, a choice I made a long time ago, a choice that I intend to keep, the only choice that's keeping me alive. "She is one of us, however if she starts acting different, we grade her and smite her" Luke thinks that's too harsh but I don't want to live as a monster, I made Galvin promise when we first met, that if it happened, he would make sure I couldn't hurt anyone, and although I know it would be hard for him, he would do it anyway because he knows it's the right decision and the one I would have made if I was capable, but for now it's not a decision that needs making and hopefully one that won't need making for a long while.