Title: Hopeless
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Summary: Dean has been through so much in his life.
Notes: I own nothing.
Spoilers for season 7.
Dean sometimes wondered if there was a way to measure exactly how broken he had become. He was fucked up, he knew it, and it was impossible to remember any time when he wasn't at least a little broken. But damn it if his life hadn't gotten worse in leaps and bounds in the last few years. There was him going to Hell, Sam going to Hell, and all their friends and family that just kept dying.
How much more was he going to have to suffer?
But he kept going. Even when all he had was Sam, it was enough to keep him running – and if a monster they were hunting happened to get a good hit on his baby brother, well, he couldn't be blamed if he lost his mind for a few moments, now could he? It was hard, though. He wanted everyone back. He wanted Bobby. He wanted Cas.
"What happens to an angel when they die?" he asks said angel, tucked away in a dream. He dreamt of Cas a lot lately, lazy chats and cuddles, far too often and pointless to suggest his angel was actually there this time.
"I don't know," that rumbly voice says, his hand gently squeezing Dean's own. Dean closes his eyes and sighs. Of course he wouldn't know. This was all in his own head. "Perhaps it is simply this."
Dean opens his eyes. The night sky looks horrifyingly blank, and he isn't sure what the two of them are laying on. It is comfy, at the very least.
"I want you back, Cas." This time his confession is much softer. The first few dreams he yelled at the other man, even punching him a few times. At least in his dreams that action didn't break his fist. He closes his eyes again, this time tightly.
"I know." Cas' voice softens, and Dean hears the rustle of fabric as the angel shifts. Cas ghosts a soft kiss to his ear, at the corner of his jawbone, then presses his face into Dean's collarbone. He can feel the edges of wakefulness tugging at him, and when Dean opens his eyes he's back in the motel room.
He curls up, but refuses to cry.
It's just another crack in his heart.