This one's dedicated to my friend, the Doctor. Love you, Pond :)

The First Batch

"Do you have a teaspoon?"

When Jack picked up his phone as he was heading outside to mow his lawn, the last thing he ever dreamed he would hear was a request for a teaspoon. Mystified, but amused, Jack leaned against the counter and asked, "Cooking are we?"

"Baking actually. Do you?"

Someone sounded stressed.

"I'm sure I do." Jack answered, "You don't?"

"If I had one would I be calling you?"

"I doubt it."

"I'm sure one came with the set, but it's missing."

"And you're desperate for a teaspoon?"

"Yes. Teal'c! Wait…"

Jack smiled as Daniel's voice took on a panicked quality and seemed just a bit further away as he was talking to Teal'c.

"No, don't…"

"I believe it called for two eggs, Daniel Jackson." Jack could just barely hear Teal'c's deep voice in the background.

"Yes, yes it did," Daniel sounded resigned, "but you have to crack the shells first, Teal'c. You don't just throw the whole egg in there! Now you're gonna have to pick out all of the shell."

"I do not understand."

"Stop stirring!" Daniel's voice was suddenly closer to the phone, "Jack, if it isn't too much trouble could you please bring us a teaspoon?"

Even if it had been too much trouble, by this point, Jack was far too interested in seeing exactly what sort of a mess Teal'c was creating to let the interruption in his plans bother him. The grass could wait. "Sure, I'll be right over. Need anything else?"

"Eggs."

The line went dead. Jack shook his head and grinned as he headed for his kitchen.

Earlier

It was just after nine in the morning when they walked into the kitchen, arms laden with supplies. Daniel spread the baking goods across the kitchen table while Teal'c set his bags down on the counter and began stocking the refrigerator. Looking around his kitchen, Daniel blew out a slow breath and wondered exactly what he had been thinking. What had he been thinking when he had agreed to bring an alien to his apartment in order to bake brownies?

"DanielJackson."

Teal'c's deep voice was suddenly close to his left shoulder and he jumped a bit. Looking up, Daniel asked, "Yes, Teal'c?"

"Is this an item which requires use of the cooling receptacle?"

It took a moment for Daniel's brain to process cooling receptacle and translate it into refrigerator, then he nodded, "Yeah, the butter can go in the fridge for now. We'll need it in a few minutes."

"Very well."

Daniel lined up the sugar, flour, cocoa, and other supplies as he watched the Jaffa place the butter in the fridge. It had all started very simply. Captain Carter...Sam, he corrected himself, had been chatting with another officer while standing in line in the mess. They had mentioned brownies and Teal'c had quickly become curious. Daniel joined Sam and Teal'c for lunch that day and found her trying to explain brownies to the alien soldier. Apparently, the Jaffa were not much for baking. As Sam tried to explain what a brownie was, Daniel attempted to translate and assist with determining a Jaffa equivalent. There didn't seem to be any equivalent. Jaffa ate mostly grains and meat pies. The concept of baking was completely foreign to Teal'c.

The fact that Teal'c had no concept of baking and seemed to be naturally curious led to their current situation. Teal'c had asked Captain Carter if she would teach him to bake a brownie and she had laughed. She didn't do much baking and admitted that her oven wasn't even hooked up. Daniel saw the disappointment on Teal'c's face. Obviously the alien warrior was genuinely eager to learn about baking. After Sam had left the table, the two men continued discussing food and traditions of Chulak and Earth. Teal'c had resubmitted his question and Daniel had decided that he could probably offer up his kitchen for a few hours to help the Jaffa to bake a brownie.

"Is the order of the food particles important for the creation of this brownie?" Teal'c asked, hands behind his back, leaning forward so his nose was level with the counter top, his eyes scanning the ingredients.

Daniel took a deep breath, feeling instantly and already out of his depth. He'd never baked anything in his entire life. Ever. But they'd bought a cook book at the book store on their way to the supermarket. The woman had been very helpful and insisted the book with the red checked cover was the best one. Having no grounds to disagree, Daniel had bought it.

He took it straight into the supermarket with them and they poured over the ingredient list for the Best Ever Brownies while they stood in the baking aisle. It took nearly an hour for them to find everything they needed. Teal'c was completely enthralled by the grocery store and asked about a million questions along the way. Daniel wasn't at all familiar with the baking aisle and wasn't sure where things were. Their heads together, Daniel and Teal'c had studied the recipe carefully, then scoured the aisles until they found everything they needed.

"Uh, well, I don't think they have to be lined up right now in a specific order." He stared at the line of ingredients and wondered what he'd gotten himself into. He looked at the recipe carefully, "I think we have to put them into the bowl in order, though."

"I see." Teal'c stood up, staring at the ingredients with the same degree of healthy fear that Daniel was exhibiting.

Teal'c looked over at the other man and waited. This entire situation was very unusual. He was a warrior. A man who once served a parasitic race which enslaved millions of innocent victims across the stars. Teal'c had never set foot in the room of food preparations. That was the realm of women. A great warrior would not be caught in such a room. Ever. The food preparation was done in an out building and not spoken of.

But now, now that he had renounced his former life, Teal'c was finding himself curious about many things. The Tau'ri did their food preparations in a room known as a kitchen. These kitchens were a prominent part of the Tau'ri home. Those from Earth obviously placed a great deal of importance on the task of eating. For the Jaffa, food was a tool. A tool to keep one strong. It was simply there. It was nothing that was celebrated, nothing that was embellished.

"I guess we could just get started." Daniel finally said, looking up from the recipe. It was simple. It was straightforward. It was written out in plain, clear English. So why was he feeling like he was staring at something written in hieroglyphs? Actually, hieroglyphs would be easier to understand.

"Indeed."

Daniel nodded, realizing he was the only one who had even half an idea what he was doing. "Hand me that bowl."

Teal'c handed him the bowl and read over his shoulder. "Should we not grease the pan?"

"Sure. You can use the butter, just smear it on the pan." Daniel nodded, reading ahead. First step, he needed to melt the butter in the bowl. Then came the sugar and cocoa. Nothing too difficult. He measured the butter and dropped it into the bowl, putting it in the microwave and starting to feel better. What had he been worried about? People baked all the time. Nothing to it.

A crash rang out behind him and Daniel whirled to see Teal'c standing helplessly beside the counter, both hands completely slathered in butter. The glass pan was in a few dozen pieces on the floor in front of him. Daniel blinked at the mess, realizing that Teal'c had evidently greased the pan. Inside and out. No wonder he had dropped it.

"I extend my apologies for the damage to your pan, Daniel Jackson."

"Um, thanks, Teal'c. It's not a big deal. It was just something Dr. Frasier had given me."

"I must extend my apologies to Dr. Frasier."

"No, I'm sure it's fine." Daniel leaned down and carefully picked up a few pieces. "She just gave me a bunch of her old dishes when I moved in. She's got new stuff, it was just a hand me down."

"A hand me down?" Teal'c inquired, leaning down to pick up some pieces. He failed continually as his hands were slick with butter.

"Teal'c, why don't you wash your hands. You might slice your finger if your hand slips on the glass." Teal'c rose to wash his hands and Daniel threw the pieces in the garbage. "Yes, a hand me down. It's something that one person doesn't want or need any more so they hand it over to someone else."

"Why is it not called a hand it over, then?"

Daniel smiled, "Well, I guess that would actually make some sense, wouldn't it?" He finished throwing out the pieces of the pan and washed the butter off his hands, "I believe the phrase came from the fact that the item tended to be an article of clothing that was handed down to a younger sibling."

"Are you Dr. Frasier's younger sibling?"

"No. Like I said, that phrase started out being used like that. Then it became common to use the phrase for other similar reasons."

"I see." Teal'c found it made very little sense to use a phrase meant for one specific thing for another. "I still regret that I have caused damage to your hand me down pan."

"It's ok. We can use a different pan. Look in the cupboard there. I know she gave me a metal pan too." Daniel said, realizing the microwave was still cooking and there were disconcerting snapping noises coming from it. He crossed the kitchen quickly and pulled the door open. The smell of something well and truly burned accosted his nose and he stared in dismay at the disaster in his microwave. He hadn't paid any attention to how long he had left the butter cooking, but clearly only a few seconds had been necessary.

"I believe we must cease our efforts."

Daniel turned from the disaster in his microwave to find Teal'c holding up the metal pan. "Why?"

"This pan does not fit the necessary dimensions indicated in the recipe. It is larger than indicated in the recipe. We will be unsuccessful in our efforts should we continue."

"No, it's ok. The brownie will just come out a bit thinner."

"It would be most unwise to deviate from the directions, DanielJackson."

Daniel started cleaning his microwave, "Teal'c, it will be fine. Trust me. The pan size doesn't matter. That's a negotiable part of the recipe. Just butter the inside of the pan this time. Not the outside."

"Very well." Teal'c's voice indicated his disapproval with the plan.

The first batch lay in a sad grave in the garbage.

Daniel wasn't sure what had gone wrong with that batch. Something had gone very wrong with it though, and it had come out looking like a heavy black brick. Feeling Teal'c's disapproving presence looming over his shoulder as he stared down at it, Daniel was once again faced with the realization that he had no idea what he was doing.

"It was unwise to deviate from the directions."

Daniel looked up at Teal'c, then back at the brick. With a sigh, he put the empty pan on the counter. "Teal'c, the pan size doesn't matter. Honestly. It just changes how thick the brownies are."

"But would it not also affect the time required for the heating of the batter?" Teal'c inquired, hands clasped behind his back, a frown on his face as he stared at the brick in the trash.

He was right, of course. Turning back to the counter that was currently littered with opened baking supplies, Daniel stared at the recipe and realized Teal'c had a very good point. How was it that the alien was right about the baking and he'd been wrong? Well, there was only one explanation as far as he could tell. He was nervous. Nervous about the baking and nervous about the Jaffa who stood beside him.

They had only been teammates for a few months now. While he was comfortable with Teal'c in general, and certainly trusted him completely when on a mission, Daniel had to admit to himself that to have the Jaffa over for a morning of baking brownies was stretching his comfort level. Although, it certainly wasn't the most terrifying thing he had done in his life.

He smiled and shrugged at the Jaffa. "I did tell you that I hadn't really ever done this, right?"

"You did inform me." Teal'c inclined his head and moved away from the garbage. They faced each other across the counter.

Daniel said, "We can adjust the baking time."

"This would be wise."

"So, you up for another batch?"

"I very much desire to taste this brownie DanielJackson."

Daniel grinned, the Jaffa was so serious, but had an almost childlike eagerness. "Ok, let's start again."

"Indeed."

For several moments they worked in silence, each carrying out the tasks they had completed the first time. Daniel was taking his time with each step of the process. There was no way he wanted to mess up a second brownie. The silence was finally broken by Teal'c, "DanielJackson, we must make haste."

"What?" Daniel looked up in surprise. Did the Jaffa have somewhere he needed to be? "What do you mean?"

Teal'c passed the recipe over and said, "The recipe states that preparation time is 20 minutes. We will soon run out of time. Please mix the batter more quickly."

Laughing, Daniel shook his head, "No, it's ok, Teal'c. That just means a rough estimate of how long it should take to make the brownies up. It isn't a required time."

Teal'c gave him another disbelieving and disapproving look.

"Really. I'm sure people mix up the brownies much faster than 20 minutes." He stared at the mess all over his kitchen, "Considering neither of us has ever baked brownies before, I think it is understandable that we're taking longer."

It still didn't look like Teal'c was convinced.