Chapter 1: Spring Cleaning
Song: Baboon
( watch?v=xrVLexJwkmA)
The burning new Spring Sun rose above the vast white plains, casting a deep, stark shadow upon the smoldering remains of a Bulblin Chieftain. Link stood to embrace the blinding dawn, a simple sword, still dripping with Bulblin blood, clutched firmly in his white knuckled hand. The pungent scents of sulfur and copper filled Link's senses as he looked out over the Hyrule Plains. A vast field of blood red flowers, wet with the fresh rain that has served to set the scene of Link's latest kill, filled his vision.
As the cool, damp wind wound it's way in and around the Hero's forest green tunic, now dark with dirt and blood, Link could not help but harbor a fierce and overflowing rage. The whole and complete uselessness of his current existence filled him to bursting. He was the Hero of Courage; He alone defeated the dark lord Ganondorf. But how now, has this great Hero reduced to combating these brutish, idiotic masses of dumb flesh!
Link looked down at his sword, now tainted with the sticky black Bulblin blood. A new surge of rage consumed him.
I once wielded the Master Sword! THE Sacred Blade, forged for the sole purpose of desolating and banishing the greatest of evils from Hyrule. Now I just swing this dull lump of metal! A baser weapon fitting for baser foes I suppose.
Link looked up at the vast morning sky. Why am I here? Why am I still here, where a hero is no-longer needed. Why do I continue in this dull, grinding life?
The answer came to him in a single word. It rang through his mind as a thrashing maelstrom of anger, frustration, and agony:
Her.
He stood there: Pure power, stripped of meaning.
Sky Burning, Spring cleaning.
The rain began again, striking and rolling down his skyward face. Link let loose a guttural scream, echoing for miles off the broad plains as the Sun rose into the day.
Zelda sat, perfectly poised as always, behind a strong, Mahogany desk upon which lay several tall stacks of heavy parchment. She wore a small pair of reading glasses and an expression of frustration and discontent, masked expertly by her regnit features. She worked in a somewhat small study, composed mostly of stone and wood, with shelves of old, dusty tomes covering every available patch of wall. The day had only just begun, but the candles which littered the study stood as small, worn down nubs, casting weak, flickering light. Zelda was straining to read the latest report on Hyrule's pottery shortage when a strong, violent slam shocked her composure and rustled the stacks of paper, causing quite a few minor cascades of tax reports and case files.
The broad, tall stone doors to the study were at once and with fervent passion flung open, the strong gust they produced serving to extinguish the feeble licks of candle flame. The look of surprise and alarm on Zelda's countenance were instantly replaced with a unique and highly refined mixture of resentment and appreciation. For there, standing in doorway, silhouetted by the brilliant morning sun, stood Link, calm and composed and seething. His spirit no longer willing, but his flesh very, very strong.
"The Bulbin Clan from the western hills wont be bothering your precious trade routes anymore." Link spat out.
Zelda accepted the guile with her ever consistent regality and aloofness. "That is fantastic news. Thank you Link." She replied, returning to her reports. It had taken quite a while for her to perfect that thank you, the layers and layers of subtext and resentment were subtle and complex and blatantly obvious.
A silence fell. Link remained, unwavering in the doorway. She tried to resist the bitter urges in her heart. With a quick upward glance at the man's eyes, she failed.
"I'm glad the Bulbin Clan was able to listen to reason. You did try to reason with them, as I specifically instructed, didn't you?"
Link finding courage in his bile, took a heavy step toward the desk.
"Oh yes, I reasoned with them really hard." He replied, his sarcasm palpable. Another heavy step.
"I gave each and every one of them a nice, strong reason. Hell, some I even gave two!" Another heavy step. Zelda, who up until now had managed to keep her focus on the report, faltered, falling into the trap that was the boy's fiery eyes.
"And as for the Chief, I gave him the greatest reason of all!" Mere inches from the desk now, Link drew the his sword, brandishing it with a manic smile before Zelda.
"Look, you can even see some remnants of his feeble 'retorts'." He said, gesturing to the faint sticky stains which remained on the sword. "They were flowing from him quite freely at the end." For the faintest of moments, Zelda's porcelain composure fractured, her eyes flashing with fear and hatred. Link relished it.
After a few tense moments, Zelda retreated, standing up slowly and walking behind her to retrieve a book for no apparent reason. Link, his fury and passion fueled by the unprecedented victory, was about to press again. However, at the last moment Zelda regained her composure.
"I really wish you didn't feel the need to resort to violence every time I give you a task." She said calmly into her book.
Under normal circumstances, Link would swallow his anger, his frustration, and apologize. He would make up some bullshit resolve to do better in the future and hobble back to his room, castrated and dejected.
But here, now, in this vital moment, Link choked on his anger, was asphyxiated by his frustration. He could bury it no longer. All at once, it was vomited forth, a veritable typhoon of hatred.
The balance was all at once broken, and they would never be the same for it.
"I'm the goddamn Hero woman, what do you think I am supposed to do!? You didn't seem to get pissy when I chose not to reason with Ganondorf!" He spewed, waving the Master Sword erratically.
"Every time you bring this up! Yes, you defeated Ganondorf, with my aid." Zelda replied, still composed, but faltering.
Link's eyes burned even hotter. "With your aid!? ahhaha! do you really think your feeble fucking arrows did any fucking use for anyone? All you really did was get captured and possessed. REALLY fucking helpful there." Zelda replaced the book, and turned to Link. She spoke slowly and calmly.
"You and I both know that without the arrows' magic to weakening his defences, you would never have been able to get close enough to use the Master Sword. Right now you are letting your emotions cloud your better judgement, and I forgive you for these words I know you don't really mean. You know I have the utmost thanks for you and your actions. Hyrule owes you a great debt. Now I believe it would be best if you returned to your room and slept off these errant emotions."
Their eyes met. Determination met determination. Sparks flew and fires raged. Slowly, a small smile grew on Link's lips. Followed by a deep, manic laugh which lasted an uncomfortable amount of time. Zelda was just about to reach out her hand to the boy when his eyes flashed.
"FUCK THAT!" He yelled, plunging his sword deep into the top of the Desk, just barely missing Zelda's outstretched hand. The shock was all that was needed to break her composure finally and completely. Link bellowed and spewed.
"I fought for you! All my fucking life I fought! I've killed more people and creatures and demons, I have more blood on my hands than Ganondorf ever did! And all of this, all my suffering and pain and sorrows, I DID ALL OF IT FOR YOU!" He was around the table now, mere inches away from Zelda, causing her to back pedal slowly.
"And what do I get in return?! WHAT DOES THE HERO OF ALL HYRULE GET IN EXCHANGE FOR HIS SUFFERING AND STRUGGLE!?" Legitimate terror now flooded Zelda's complexion. All regality banished from her, she stood raw and exposed.
"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! NOTHING BUT MORE THANKLESS WORK AND A SELFISH PRUDE LITTLE CLOSE-LEGGED BITCH!" In a singular moment crystallizing eons of anger and frustration across all the worlds, Link's hand, imbued with the anger of thousands, struck Zelda's pale, perfect cheek. The resounding smack echoed across time and space. His unrestricted force, combined with the utter shock of the act, send Zelda back, tripping over an errant paper, and falling backward, to be pinned by Link against the bookcase.
In that singular moment, something was awoken. A piece of Zelda, a trait buried so long ago that not even she had memory of the aspect of her character that now poured forth. Faced with this hulking, brutish mass of rage before her, she felt not fear or betrayal. What awoke in her was not the regal purity, the perfect princess. Instantly and completely, she was filled with a sea of refined, pure, pristine, wholly unadulterated hatred. Rage consumed her, banished the perfect girl she had been trained for so very long to be. In that moment, she was no longer the Zelda which Hyrule needed, but the Zelda that she truly was: a used and abused woman who wanted to be selfish for once in her goddamn life.
Her eyes flashed, consumed and forged in her seething anger. Link was instantly and completely taken aback. His grip weakened, and that was all the opening she needed. Zelda's hand few with a just vindictiveness which rivaled and even perhaps surpassed Link's. Her blow not only sent the Hero staggering back, but also resulted in three shallow cuts on his left cheek. The sight of blood only seemed to fuel her primal passions.
"You selfish, insolent, self-entitled, child!" Her voice, making full use of her royal training, filled the space with unwavering authority. "Just because you saved Hyrule by no means implies that you are entitled to my body! What kind of flighty whore do you take me, Your Queen, for? Yes, you are the Hero of Courage. Yes, you wield the Master Sword. Yes, you were the only one capable of defeating Ganondorf. But these were actions done for Hyrule! I never asked you to do any of it! I owe absolutely NOTHING to you!" She walked fiercely over to the desk, ripping off a piece of paper, a long bill, that had been skewered by the Master Sword and brandished it before Link.
"But I DID feel grateful to you! I gave you housing in the castle, I knighted you, I even support your horrendous spending and drinking habits! I am the ONLY reason you aren't passed out drunk in a gutter somewhere! You have very little money left, and you've got no sense, and I'll have none of your Goddamned Impudence!"
In a normal argument, a normal fight, Zelda would be feeling a sense of self satisfaction, Link would feel defeated. One would apologize, claim the title of Beta, and allow the Alpha his or her rightful place. But not here, not now. This fated couple, this fated moment, forged through eons of frustration and anger, will come together into the rare, destructive, and wholly impressive force simply known as: The Alpha Couple.
Link felt no humility, no feelings of regret. Even the slap, which still left a Rupy read mark on Zelda's otherwise pure white cheek, filled him will an even greater sense of determination. He longed to mark up that mocking perfection further. He wished to pull out the true, marred, scratched and swollen Zelda, expose her for all the world to see.
"My defences may be working with a skeleton crew, but I'll be skinned alive before I take this from you!" Link yelled, surging forward, and with a sweeping motion casted off all the papers from the desk.
"What the fuck Link!" Zelda yelled, the obscenity flowing from her lips sending an exhilarating shock down her spine. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! You're just a spoiled little brat! I foolish boy I have indulged for far too damn-"
She was cut off abruptly when Link, his eyes wholly wild, gripped Zelda by the throat and with a sudden and terrifying burst of strengths picked her up and threw the porcelain princess onto the desk. The breath was knocked from Zelda's lungs as she collided with the desk. Her mind was awash with shock and anger and something else. Something deeper and more primal. It was a vague but burning passion that began consuming her.
Within Seconds Link was on top of her, Straddling Zelda and pinning her shoulders. He looked down upon her face. The redness of her cheek was now sweeping across her entire face. Her normally prim and perfect hair was now a wild nest of brilliant gold. A single trickle of deep red blood trailed down her cheek. The the sword, still embedded in the desk, stood against her face, it's razor sharp blade just grazing her. The woman's eyes were filled with shock and awe, but also something deeper, and pulsing. It aroused a similar vague, primal urge in Link.
"I'm no longer a boy. I am a Man, who knows what he wants. And is prepared to take it."
Their eyes fought and danced and seethed and sparked. Both succumbed to their anger, their hatred, their passion. With a sudden jolt Zelda reached up behind Link's head and grabbed a fist full of the man's sandy locks. Link growled in retaliation, a grin forming on his manic face. He could sense her finally giving in, at long last he would lay claim to his bitch.
With a grace and ease befitting her stature, Zelda slammed Links head into the desk. The impact was so clean and hard and pure that a single thin crack formed along it's length. Within seconds Zelda mounted the howling and severely dazed Link.
Still holding him by his locks, Zelda brandished his head against the embedded sword.
"Don't you EVER think of me as some bitch you can lay claim to. If you even try, you'll find yourself the one being claimed." She spat, pressing his face against the blade, sending a small trail of dark blood trickling down it's length.
Zelda relished the moment. The feeling of power, of triumph. It fed and encouraged that primal urge now pulsing within her.
Link lay there, stunned. How had he let the tides be turned so suddenly upon him? How had he, the Hero, been so easily beaten? He shot a glance back up at Zelda. Her eyes were burning brilliantly and with a searing veracity. They invoked a drive deep in Link's soul.
He knew the feeling well. It was what has always driven him. It was what fueled his soul and gave purpose to his acts.
It was that glorious, terrifying sensation: Rivalry.
"Very well." He spoke, his sudden, confident voice breaking Zelda from her thoughts.
"If it is a fight you want, it is a fight you'll have. M'lady." His words, spewed forth with impressive disdain, stoked Zelda's fury to its apex. Their eyes met, will matching willl, passion matching passion, fury combating fury.
What followed was a primal mass of biting, growling, claiming and reclaiming. It was an eternal fight for dominance, which neither party ever completely attained. By the end of their carnival of passions, they had managed to collapse six shelves, eviscerate a dozen books, and break the Mahogany desk cleanly in half.
As they lay in the ruins of their endeavor, panting and sweating and twinge-ing and bleeding, the early morning Sun broke through the clouds out west, casting down all the colors of the rainbow through the door and into the broken room.
Day breaking, Spring Cleaning.