Rating: T because I'm paranoid. Since there's insinuated yaoi….
Disclaimer: enjoy your presents guys, and leave me be. I'm not smart enough to steal characters.
A/N: a short little crack fic I wrote for the holiday's. It has nothing to do with Christmas, and doesn't fit into the storyline of Death Note at all, but I wrote it anyway for fun. It's an innocent little piece and I hope you all enjoy :)
I have to know…what color they are.
Light discreetly peeked over his novel toward the detective. Christmas isn't as big a deal as it is toward the west, so the young man had no qualms with volunteering to stay for that holiday when L had asked him if he minded. Of course he wouldn't mind.
"Light-kun."
"Hm?" he hummed casually, flicking his eyes back to the book.
"The shampoo I use is primarily H&S. If you like, I can get you a bottle." He said simply.
Light lowered his book to stare at him again, but this time it was openly. "Ryuzaki," he started slowly, almost cautiously, "that's nice and everything, but what in the world brought that up?"
He turned around on his spinny chair, crouched down like a monkey and scratched at his scalp, "You were looking at me. And from the angle the two of us are at, you would be seeing the back of my head. By the number of times I caught you looking, I can only assume that you were fascinated by my hair and I do admit, I spend some amount of time shampooing it."
Needless to say, Yagami Light was struck dumb for a moment. "That's…nice, Ryuzaki."
"You're welcome." He spun back to his computer.
--
What color are they…?
Light found him sifting through his clothes. It was in a lazy manner, but there was some urgency in his search also. Still, the fact that L was going through his clothes made him panic a tiny bit, and struck him as very strange. "Ryuzaki, what are you doing?"
He looked up from the drawer where he was decimating all the neatly folded garments, "Light-kun…I lost my crackers."
Yes. Yes you did. "…" he decided not to say that. "So why are you looking for them in there? Wouldn't it make sense to look in the kitchen?"
"Watari hid them from me." he said despondently, "So, I am searching for them."
He walked over to the slouched man and closed the drawer slowly, after tucking in the clothes that hung out of the wood box, "I'm very sure that your crackers are not in my clothes."
"How do you know that, Light-kun?" he challenged, wide eyes going closer to his face, "You cannot dismiss anything without evidence."
He really didn't want to argue right now, so the young man decided to just go along with him for now. Honestly, what was with this guy today? "I'll tell you what, I'll help you find your crackers as long as you keep out of my stuff. If we still can't find them after searching absolutely everywhere, then we can go through my belongings. And don't even start with the whole Kira speech and how it's suspicious that I don't want you to look through my underwear. I swear, Ryuzaki, or I'll-"
"Agreed."
"Ah- oh. Really?" Light stuttered.
"Watari hid my Pucca crackers from me. I wish to snack on them while I read, so the sooner we find them, the better."
"Ok then, let's start in the kitchen." Light kept a close eye on the man as the both of them walked out of the bedroom they shared in headquarters and into the kitchen downstairs. He had a strong feeling that they were either going to find what they are looking for almost immediately, or they'll spend nearly an entire day searching the building up and down for a box of Pucca crackers. The day wasn't going to be fun.
L started on the bottom cabinets, while Light went to the top cabinets above the sink. It was all full of L's junk food, Japanese snacks as well as German, English, Korean and American snacks. They were all mostly chocolates, crackers and wafers of many kinds. "Ryuzaki, why can't you just eat some of these?"
"I want my Pucca crackers, Light-kun."
He gave out a stifled sigh and continued to go through the numerous colorful boxes. As he was searching, he caught a glimpse of L staring at something behind him, and at closer examination, he looked to be very focused on what he was seeing. Light paused and tried to see what he was focusing on, but there was nothing of interest behind him. He then followed the man's eyes and traced it to Light's own backside. He was staring at his butt? "Ryuzaki." He said warningly, "I'm going to kick you if you keep that up."
"No need to be hostile, Light-kun." He turned back to the cabinet.
Why am I stuck with this weirdo? He asked himself, and by then was absolutely sure that his Pucca crackers weren't going to be found. He had gone through the entire row of cabinets, and L was still crouching at the first one he approached. "L, why don't we just go out and buy a new box of Pucca? They're everywhere around here, I'm sure we'll find one."
"You see, Light-kun, I am very attached to my crackers. I cannot simply replace them." he said bluntly.
I have to know what color!!
"Ryuzaki are you serious?" he exasperated, "I went through all the snack cabinets and they're not here, there's no reason why they would be anywhere outside the kitchen. Either they don't exist or they were already eaten. We can just get another box if you want Pucca that much!"
"Why is Light-kun insisting we go outside?" he countered.
"Because you're annoying!"
"How awful. You've hurt my feelings." He said in a monotone.
Light tried to calm himself down and took a big breath, "Fine. I'll go get it myself. You can even watch me from a camera or something, I'll probably find a box of Pucca across the street anyway."
L nodded carefully, as if thinking hard about something. "Before Light-kun goes out, you will have to change into suitable clothes for the outdoors?"
He looked down at himself. He was wearing a simple black t-shirt and pressed jeans, so he didn't really need to change. All he needed was a jacket and pocket money and he was good to go. But hearing the hope in the man's voice gave his left eyebrow a small twitch at his perversity. "Why? Do you want to watch me change in case the Pucca falls out of my pants?"
"It's possible, Light-kun."
"I don't think so." He said defensively, "You on the other hand, do have to change. Look at you! Your pants are all stained and gross."
"They are very clean, I assure you." He said tersely. "And what happened to your offer of going by yourself?"
"Shot to the ground by your leeching hopes." He replied. "You're coming with me."
"…" L scuffed the floor with his toes.
--
Light dug through his closet to find a jacket that was warm enough, but went well with his jeans as well. He was wearing black denim, so he couldn't wear a black jacket…so maybe a beige one? All the while L stared holes into his back.
"I am ready."
Light turned as he shrugged into his jacket, "What about your shoes?"
"Watari is delivering them this moment."
"Alright then." Light sat down at the edge of the bed, "After that we should get going."
"Are you cold?" the man asked suddenly.
The young man looked up at him, "No, why?"
"You have already buttoned up your jacket."
"Yeah…is that a problem?"
"…Of course not, Light-kun." He said sullenly.
A soft knock was heard at the door and Watari walked in with a pair of beat up tennis shoes. He placed them in front of L and as he was about to step into them, Light burst out "You're going to wear them barefoot? It's cold outside, Ryuzaki!"
The man paused his foot in midair, and Watari's moustache twitched in a smirk at his ward, as if he had fought and lost this battle so many times before. "You sound so concerned, Light-kun. But I am fine."
"No, if you're going to wear those worn shoes, you have to at least wear socks." he pushed.
"I will go fetch them." Watari said quickly, and left the room without L's consent.
"Watari…you." L muttered beneath his breathe. He turned on Light, "I will not wear them, Light-kun. I hate socks."
"Aw come on, Ryuzaki, they'll keep your feet warm."
"Then take off your jacket."
Light blinked in surprise. "What for?"
"If you're going to make me wear socks I want compensation."
"Compensation- what the hell, Ryuzaki? Are you out of your mind?!"
I need to see what color it is….
"Please take off your jacket."
What is this…Light wasn't sure of how to take this. Was he trying to see something, or make him do something? "Tell me what you're up to, Ryuzaki. I don't think I have to tell you that I feel very uncomfortable."
They glowered at each other from opposite side of the room, both unrelenting. The curiosity was eating at him, and if the other didn't crack, he didn't know what would happen.
The old man came through the doorway just as L finally blurted it out. "Show me your belt, Light-kun! What color is it?!"
"Wha-? My belt?"
After a short awkward pause, Watari began edging out the door, until Light called him out, "Wait Watari!"
He looked shocked, but answered, "…Yes, Yagami-san?"
"Do you have Ryuzaki's socks?"
"I do." He said cautiously.
"What color are they?" Light asked urgently.
A/N: Happy Holiday's, and have a good year :)
-Zak