The Insane Nintendogs Story

Chapter One: Welcome to the Neighborhood, you Loser!

Sharlene never actually fit anywhere in the so-called modern life society. She lived in a rundown apartment owned my a lowlife who was in serious dept to the city's mafia. The owner had a serious addiction to carousels and he had borrowed way too many quarters. So the mafia arrived at the apartment housings on their super cool pink scooters to pay their pal a visit.

They busted down a random door by using the most fat member of the mob to find that they have visited the wrong room. An old lady emerged from the shadows within the depths of her living quarters wielding the most destructive weapon the mafia had ever seen: A plastic spork!

"What is the meaning of this?! Busting down my door?" the old lady with the plastic spork of doom demanded, "I just fixed the door from last time!"

"Sorry, ma'am!" the don of the mafia(who was wearing a rainbow wig) held up his hands defensively, "We was just lookin' for the guy who owns dis joint."

"He's next door." she replied.

"Thanks." The mafia broke down the door next to the old lady's room, "AHA!"

"PLEASE DON'T BREAK MY LEGS, MR. DON BOSS SIR! I TOLD YOU I WOULD PAY YOU BACK!" the pathetic human being exclaimed hysterically as he curled up into a ball in the corner.

"You're time is up, Doctor Dept. And I told you I prefer bein' called 'Cotton Candy'!" the rainbow wigged don said to Doctor Dept.

"W-What are you g-going t-to do with m-m-me?" the bum whimpered.

"What's comin' to youse! Sick 'em, Mista Dumplins!" A tiny champagne colored Chihuahua came from behind Cotton Candy and attacked his victim.

"Darn that landlord!" Sharlene cursed, "Now where will I live?" Right on cue, a page from the classifieds flew into Sharlene's face. She reached out desperately to find her way around the hobo-infested streets of the city.

"Help! I can't see!" Sharlene cried out, but expected no help from any of the city's residents who just didn't care, "I'm blind!"

Sharlene wandered onto the roadway that was heavy with traffic. People honked their horns and shouted out naughty words at her as she staggered about blindly. The driver of a semi slammed on his breaks and skidded sideways. It tripped over a neon taxi, flew into the air, landed on more neon taxis, and exploded. A fire truck came in three seconds to put out the blaze. Sharlene wandered onto the other side of the street after causing more destruction and chaos and then she suddenly had the sense to remove the newspaper from her face.

"Whew... that was scary. I could've wandered into traffic and caused destruction and chaos..." Sharlene said to herself while being oblivious of the fiery semi covering the mass of crushed taxis and fire trucks and ambulances right next to her. Then her eyes came across an article in the classifieds, "What's this? 'Home for Sale in peaceful city of Nintendogs. Wonderful neighborhood with many friendly people. Beautiful environment with parks, fountains, farms, and an ocean scenery. Call: Quibbyroastybrass.' This place sounds great! I better call right away!"

Sharlene accessed a pay phone that had magically appeared into thin air and she called Quibbyroastybrass, head of the Nintendogs real estate.

"Hello, Nintendogs Real Estate and Pizza Delivery Services. This is Quibbyroastybrass speaking." An semi enthusiastic voice answered Sharlene's call.

"Yeah, I would like to order a small double cheese and pepperoni pizza, please." said Sharlene.

"Anything else for you, miss?" Quibbyroastybrass asked.

"Yeah! I want to buy the house I saw in the ad!" Sharlene said hyperactively.

"Sure, but there's a catch."

"I never tried pizza with ketchup."

"No! A catch! A condition you have to meet in order to be able to purchase the house in the Nintendogs town."

"I thought it was a city."

"It's both."

"Oh... Well, what's the catch?"

"Thought you'd never ask. The catch is: As soon as you move into your new house, you have to get a puppy."

"A puppy? I LOVE PUPPIES!"

"That's the spirit! I'll send a horse-drawn carriage over to ya so you can get your patootie over here!"

"Patootie?"

"...Yeah..."

"Sorry, I never heard anyone say 'Patootie' before."

"You'll get use to it." After that, Quibbyroastybrass hung up.

This was it. Sharlene moved into her new house, signed the contract with Quibbyroastybrass, and now she was making her way to the Kennel. She knocked musically on the door and she looked down at the doormat that said 'Wipe Your Paws' until it was answered. Sharlene was immediately tackled to the ground by the loony who had answered the door.

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU MISSIONARIES?! I AM NOT INTERESTED IN JOINING YOU!" the man bellowed in Sharlene's face.

"What's a missionary?" Sharlene asked innocently. The madman helped the uncorrupted girl to her feet and he apologized for tackling her.

"Thank goodness you haven't yet been corrupted by the evilness of the evilly evil missionaries! If any ever come up to your doorstep lock your doors, shut your windows, turn the lights off, and hide in your closet!"

"Okay!" Sharlene nodded happily.

"Good. Now have you come for a puppy?" the loony asked.

Sharlene nodded happily again.

"Come with me... uh... What's your name?"

"Sharlene." Sharlene replied.

"Come with me, Sharlene, and we will find you your new best friend!" the loony lead Sharlene deeper into the Kennel and showed her the many different breeds.

"There's so many!"

"Duh."

Sharlene watched the little ones frolic with each other, sniff each other, and plot world domination with each other, "They're all so cute! I don't know which one to pick!"

"Will this take a while?" the loony asked.

Sharlene nodded happily once again.

"Alright..." the loony pulled up a chair and began reading a book while Sharlene observed each puppy.