I was just the loser with glasses, I never had very many friends and I was never invited to those fancy parties everyone raved about on Monday's. I was shy and quiet, everyone thinks I'm content with my personality but just because I'm like this, doesn't mean I want to be like this. It's like having stage fright, but in real life and talking to people just frightens you. Not because they're scary but because you're afraid of rejection and humiliation.
It all started when my parents split up, it was hard because they were always the lovey dovey couple and I never saw it coming. My parents began to fight a lot, they faught like I wasn't even there as if I was invisible and I spent most of my nights, starving, in my room with music blasting so loud that my parents began to yell at me because they couldn't hear themselves think.
Soon everything changed, my father moved out and I was thrown between them every weekend. By the time I was ten, I just went with the flow and stopped talking. It wasn't until I turned twelve that my Dad got me my first iPod, which my Mother didn't approve of but it was the only thing that I had a connection to. The only thing that mattered, were the three minute songs and soon I was just reading books with my head phones in.
In between these years, I had developed a sense of music and began writing lyrics to some music I just heard in my head. I wrote sad songs most of the time, but some songs were motivational and I had notebooks full of just lyrics. Sometimes not just whole songs but maybe just snippets. I was very proud of my lyrics, they were like my diary and I never let anyone touch them.
When I was fourteen, it was my first year of high school and I walked in not knowing where to go or what to do. I ended up missing all my classes and sitting at the back of the school, writing lyrics in my new notebooks until school ended and my very angry father picked me up. He then ordered a 'guide' be assigned to me the next day.
I was already convinced everyone thought I was a freak, no I didn't wear all black but I did talk to a few people who did and they seemed nice. But I wore band t-shirts my older cousin gave me, they had various artists from The Beatles to Van Halen. I wasn't particularly picky about the kind of music I listened too, classical was probably my least favourite but I could still listen to it.
But now I'm graduating, I didn't get into any Universities or Collages bcecause of my lack of speech and my parents were on the verge of kicking my out. I'm eighteen, all I have for a future is music writing and I only had one of them that actually kept me from my dark thoughts.
It was called Weightless