Sir Mix Alot Memories
Another Greg Fic
Disclaimer: I don't own the song or any of the CSI characters
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It was a very slow night at the lab. The CSI's were all out on a case, and Greg had nothing to process.
Maybe he shouldn't have drunk those 2 cups of coffee. He was going to go crazy if he didn't find something to do.
He eyed his radio that was sitting up on the cabinet. He had left his CD's in the car, but maybe there was something to listen to on the radio.
Turning from station to station, he was beginning to become frustrated. There was nothing on except traffic reports and weather.
He was about to turn it off when "Baby Got Back" boomed through the speaker and he smiled.
Oh my god Becky, look at her butt
It is so big
She looks like one of those rap guys girlfriends
Who understands those rap guys
They only talk to her because she looks like a total prostitute, ok?
I mean her butt It's just so big I can't believe it's so round
It's just out there I mean, it's gross
Look, she's just so black
When he was younger, he used to spy on his sister and her friends all the time. One night she was having a sleepover, and he heard "Baby Got Back" booming through the walls.
He took his video camera and stood outside her open door. He could see the girls lip syncing the lyrics. They were shaking their butts in front of the mirror.
It took all his power to stay still and not bust in on them.
He played the tape when his sister brought her newest boyfriend home.
Let's just say the whole family had a big laugh that night
I like big butts and I cannot lie
You other brothers can't deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung
Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed
Deep in the jeans she's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh, baby I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
Me so horny
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Benz
Well use me, use me cuz you ain't that average groupy
After he showed the tape, his sister chased him around the house. She trapped him in a corner and threatened his life if he didn't hand over the tape. He gave her an innocent smile and handed it over. She didn't know that he had made copies for future use.
I've seen them dancin'
The hell with romancin'
She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette
I'm tired of magazines
saying flat butt's the only thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back, so
Fellas (yeah), fellas (yeah)
Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah)
Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt
Baby got back
He started singing along with the song, smiling when he remembered how he had shown the tape at the last family reunion.
Yeah baby
When it comes to females
Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection
36-24-36
Only if she's 5'3"
He was really getting into the song, the lyrics coming back
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda
Playin' workout tapes by Fonda
But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda
My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon
You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt
Some brothers wanna play that hard role
and tell you that the butt need to go
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
So Cosmo says you're fat
Well I ain't down with that
Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'
His sister's husband laughed when he saw the tape. His sister didn't share the same expression. It didn't help that he had taken a picture of her face after he showed it. She had chased him down, just like old times.
To the beanpole dames in the magazines
You ain't it Miss Thang
Give me a sista I can't resist her
Red beans and rice didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
Cuz his girls were on my list
He had game but he chose to hit 'em
And pulled up quick to get with 'em
So ladies if the butt is round
And you wanna triple X throw down
Dial 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts
Baby got back
He heard someone clearing their throat behind him and turned around. His face flushed when he saw the CSI's standing there, laughing.
"I was just..." He tried to explain
"No, I don't want to know. Just process these, please," Grissom said, handing him some samples
Grissom gave him another look and left with Catherine, trailing behind him.
"We need to put Greg on American Idol" He heard Warrick say
"Yeah, he could give Sir Mix Alot a run for his money" Nick said and they all laughed.
At least they didn't videotape him. He thought
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A/N: Another humorous Greg fic
Review, Review, Review please...
A/N 2: From my other fic about phobias, the peanut butter phobia is real!