Disclaimer: I do not own Law and Order: SVU or any of it's characters.
A/N: So this is a light hearted humor fic, if you're looking for drama or angst this is not your stop, but if you just wanted to see some fluff then here you go :) the actual quote that inspired this story can be found in the author note at the bottom... I didn't want to give anything away.
It was the night of the office Christmas party and everyone at the precinct was having a great time, despite the fact that the friendly gathering was held once again down in the morgue. Carisi found this set up strange. He wondered how people could be so relaxed and carefree with a bunch of dead bodies only a few feet away from them, albeit they were stashed away out of sight and smell but still the knowledge of their proximity still stands.
Fin was once again flirting with Melinda, the pair had been secretly seeing each other since she had gotten her divorce. They believed that no one knew and everyone secretly made bets on when they would go public. Carisi refused to place any money down on the game, out of respect for Amanda, even though he had his own ideas of when they would disclose.
At the thought of the blonde SVU detective Carisi looked around for her noticing that it had been awhile since he had last scene her. They had gotten in a heated argument earlier in the day and he believed that she was avoiding him. In truth he felt guilty about the whole thing.
Carisi had been teasing Amanda about the identity of Jesse's father. He pulled up several random names all in good fun. He had even thrown out Fin's name at one point and received an actual laugh from the young mother. But a good natured jest quickly turned into an argument when Carisi continued to push past Amanda's tolerance level. Out of his own frustration Carisi had snarkily remarked "What it's not like Chief Dodds is her father". As soon as the words left his mouth he regretted them. The look of hurt instantly befell Amanda's face and she quickly called him several names and disappeared.
The moment Amanda was out of his sight he hit him self. He had completely forgotten what her old deputy chief had put her through, what he did to her. He wouldn't have been surprised if she hated him for the rest of her life. He had instantly set about trying to apologize but the blonde had been very skilled in dodging his attempts the whole day.
"Hey have you seen Amanda around" he asked as he approached Olivia. She stood talking to one of the many uniformed officers who also worked in the precinct. They both stood next to the food table that was cover with a variety of items. Everything from homemade mac and cheese to store bought donuts littered the long table. Carisi approached the punch bowl as he waited for his boss to give him an answer.
"No, not for a while actually" Olivia answered honestly "She may have gone home to Jesse already, because last I saw her she was headed up stairs"
Carisi nodded as he poured himself a glass of punch. After a small sip he shook his head strongly "Whoa, that's pretty potent" the Italian detective stated as the lingering taste of Alcohol could still be felt on his lips "who ever spiked this had a thing for Tequila"
"Tequila?" Olivia questioned as she heard her younger detective "Fin!" she said scoldingly
"I didn't do it" Fin said with a smile as he held up his hands. Melinda smirked besides him.
"Ya, and I like how you're already denying it even though I didn't say what you did yet" Olivia laughed knowing she caught her old friend red handed.
Carisi laughed along with the others until a sudden thought struck him. "Oh no" he mumbled under his breath as he silently excused himself. Earlier in the party he had remembered seeing Amanda drink several cups of the punch, and he knew that she hadn't drank anything for nearly a year with just having Jesse. Her tolerance was probably at an all time low.
"Amanda?" Carisi hollered as he entered the empty squad room. He hoped Amanda was in there or else he would have to drive to her place to ensure she made it home. He would have to make sure first hand because she wasn't picking up her phone for some reason. "Amanda?" he called again but this time he received a response.
"Go away, Carisi" she yelled back as he entered the break room to see the blonde in a near embrace with the vending machine "just leave us alone" she said as she rubbed her hand drunkenly up and down the side of the machine.
"Us?" Carisi repeated confused
"Me and this wonderful machine" she answered back without missing a beat and patted the front of the large rectangular metal box.
"Ooookaaay, Rollins" he drawled out his words trying to hold in his laughter "I think it's time to get you home"
"No, you're not separating us, I love my vending machine" she said adamantly while tightening her grip on the food dispenser.
"You love it" he laughed out unable to keep in his amusement any longer "Rollins, it's not real"
"Don't say that!" she yelled back "he is to me and that's all that matters. It's so simple to be with him. It never talks back, doesn't hurt me..."
"Ya, until it fall on you" he interrupted her but she seemed unfazed and continued
"... he always gives me what I want. It's as simple as pressing a button, and all it takes is a little money. It's like the perfect relationship" She finished as she ran her hands up and down the buttons
"So, it's your true love because you pay it and it gives you exactly what you want..." Carisi paused for a minute wondering if she was even listening to him "Amanda you do realize that you just described a prostitute right"
"Don't say it like that" Amanda admonishes "You wouldn't understand because you have no heart"
Carisi took a deep breath and turned away. He rubbed the back of his head and decided his next course of action "Okay Amanda, whatever you say... but it's time to go home to Jesse"
After several intense separation attempts Carisi was finally able to get Amanda off the machine and back home. He thanked the babysitter as she told him that Jesse was down for the night. The tall brunette led Amanda to her room and tried to wrestle the drunk woman into laying down. She fought him every step of the way, but the moment she landed on top of the soft mattress she was instantly out.
"Whoa, Amanda" Carisi breathed out trying to catch his breath "If I knew this was how I'd finally get you in bed..." he joked to himself as he pulled the bed cover over to lightly lay it on the sleeping woman.
Carisi left the room and quietly shut the door behind him. He walked to the refrigerator to grab something to drink but stopped when he noticed how empty the fridge was "jeez Amanda really... you don't even have any eggs or milk". After shutting the door he sighed to himself deciding he had to take matters into his own hand if Amanda and Jesse were going to have any sort of healthy meals.
Several hours later Amanda was awoken from her slumber by the sweet smell of bacon and eggs. She slowly sat up disoriented. Her head was pounding and she had no memory of how she got home. As she noticed the smell again her heart dropped... did she bring someone home, she thought to herself. She noticed that she was completely dressed so she wasn't too frightened.
The young mother walked slowly to the kitchen but froze the moment she saw Carisi at her stove making breakfast. She had hoped it would be Fin who had taken her home. Fin she could handle. Carisi, though she had no idea how this was going to play out.
"Mornin Rollins" Carisi beamed as he noticed the blonde's presence "I hope you're ready to eat because it's almost done. Oh and don't worry about Jesse she was hungry so I fed her first" he said as he pointed to the baby sitting happily on her highchair eating cheerios
"Carisi?" she asked in a confused voice "what are you doing here?"
"Well that's no way to say thank you" he playfully stated as he turned off the stove and set the table. Amanda noticed how at home the other detective felt. "I slept here after I got you home, didn't want to leave you drunk and alone with the baby... don't worry I was on the couch" he added at the look Amanda gave him.
"Where did this food come from?" Amanda questioned, knowing full well that her home was always short on edible substances
"I bought it last night as an apology" Carisi said as he sat down with a plate full of food and motioned for her to do the same "I felt so bad separating you and your true love last night"
"True love?" a flash of fear crossed over her face. She had no idea what he was talking about
"Ya, it was pretty difficult to make you let go of him, and you seemed so sad after" he smiled mischievously as he handed her a picture face down. He was able to capture the moment before he convinced her to leave and developed the picture at a 24 hour store while getting the groceries.
"Oh God" Amanda said shocked as she saw herself nearly embracing a vending machine
"Oh it was so much better with commentary from you" Carisi laughed out "I never knew you had such strong feelings on love" she crumpled up the picture and threw it at him as she slumped down in the chair "don't worry this will stay strictly between us" he finished reassuringly
"Ya but you're never going to let me live this down"
"Oh not a chance"
A/N: This story was inspired by a quote I saw online somewhere on Tumblr "I ship Amanda Rollins with vending Machines" after laughing for a few seconds I thought it would actually make a funny idea for a story. I would love to give credit to the person who originally said the quote but I have no idea who that was. I hope you guys liked this little fun chapter, I feel that there just isn't enough stories about these two so I try to write down the story every time I think I have a good feeling about one. Thanks for reading :)