GREEN IS THE LONELIEST COLOUR
A/N: This is a stand-alone short, completely unrelated to my other Mass Effect story.
Trying to prepare the mind to start a semester of academia. Ridding myself of all impure asari thoughts. Enjoy.
Adult Content Warning - I'll be blunt. There's smut coming up. You've been warned...
"Maybe sometime, when I'm not organising the colony, and you're not doing whatever it is you do…"
The words were out of Shiala's mouth before she could control them. The gentle caress of the commander's shoulder plate had been fleeting, an impulsive movement. If she was honest with herself, she had run her fingertips over Shepard's shiny black armour only as a way to stop herself from reaching out for the exposed flesh. To touch the nape of the long, elegant neck, the blush of the pink lips, the softness of the strands of loose red hair.
To her surprise, there was a smile in return. The smile curved the mouth slightly, giving the face an entirely new look. But it didn't quite meet the blue eyes, which seemed to be a mirror of her own loneliness.
"How long are you staying on Illium for?" Shepard asked, her curiosity well and truly piqued by the voluptuous, softly spoken asari.
Shepard's reply was so quiet and unexpected, Shiala thought she'd imagined it. But there it was in the eyes; interest, and the expectation of an answer.
"My shuttle leaves in two days." Shiala's numb tongue finally forced the response out.
There was a small nod in return, and for a moment, the smile met the commander's eyes. Shepard felt a slight flutter in her belly. It had been a long, long time since a woman had looked at her the way that Shiala was. Even longer since the last time she'd been touched, or kissed, or stroked…
"We're actually here for a major restock," Shepard responded with a quick glance over her shoulder at her turian and drell escorts. "It'll take at least another eight hours. I could take you out for dinner? If you're interested… that is…"
The commander suddenly dropped her gaze and swiped a thumb self consciously across the deep scars working their way along her jawline. They were fading, slowly but surely, but she was always aware of them.
Shiala felt absurd at the increase in her heart rate. 450 years old, a hardened commando, one of Matriarch Benezia's most esteemed acolytes, and yet there she was, blushing over a human.
"Yes. I am interested," was Shiala's simple reply, which made Shepard's eyes immediately lift to meet her gaze as they lit up with excitement.
"Send me the navpoint for your hotel, and I'll pick you up at eight."
Shepard started mentally going through her wardrobe options in her mind. Nothing but uniforms and exercise gear. Definitely nothing that was even remotely date worthy. Miranda might have something sexy she could borrow, but the Cerberus operative was much more shapely than Shepard; it would end up making the commander look like a teenage boy wearing his mother's dress. Kasumi might have something appropriate, but she was much too short; anything she could lend out wouldn't sit right. Maybe Jack... No, definitely not. Shepard would have to find some way to make it work - she wasn't missing her first date in three years over something as petty as clothing.
Shiala flicked her wrist and lit up her omni-tool, quickly punching in the address and linking it with the commander's, which let off a quiet beep in alert at the new message. The commander used her teeth to capture her own bottom lip, biting back the smile that threatened to take over her face.
"I am looking forward to it, Commander," Shiala said with a small bow of her head.
Shepard reached out a hand awkwardly, not knowing where to put it. The face seemed too intimate, as did the hand, hip, crest, all the other interesting pieces of flesh she was dying to feel in her grasp. She opted for the same spot on Shiala's body that Shiala had gone for, the shoulder.
"Call me Shepard."
Shiala pulled on her simple black bodysuit. It wasn't nice enough, it didn't show off the curves off her body the way she wanted it to, but it would have to do. She hadn't been expecting to go on a… date… or whatever this was, when she'd packed to leave Feros.
At 7:30pm, she sat down with a glass of wine and waited. She still heard the whispers of the Thorian in the back of her brain, but now, almost two and a half years after its death, they were shadows, mere echoes of what they were when she had been trapped in its mind.
She felt a worm of anxiety wriggle it's way into her belly at the thought of what the evening would hold. Would the commander even turn up? Would she want to have sex after dinner? Would she want to join?
Shiala knew that she herself wanted that very much. The commander's body had been a night-time fantasy of hers since their first meeting all those years ago. Upon hearing of the woman's KIA status, she had allowed herself a small window of grief. Seeing her alive on Ilium, in the flesh, looking only a little bit worse for wear, had been like having the sun move out from behind a cloud. It had been five hours since their surprise reunion. Shepard would need to be back on her ship and flying off into Goddess knows what in three hours. Shiala wanted to make the most of every moment.
She went to refill her glass, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. She straightened herself out and took a deep breath, before opening the door.
There stood Commander Shepard. Her ear-length red hair had been styled casually, and her uniform included a pair of black fatigues and a figure hugging grey tee-shirt. She held a bunch of blue Ilium roses in her hand.
Shepard was relieved to see that Shiala wasn't made up for the date either. She still looked stunning though, the pretty features of her face and the smooth line of her curves making for a most welcome sight.
"Hi," Shepard breathed out, looking Shiala up and down with a barely contained spark of desire. She paused, wondering whether to go in for a kiss on the cheek, a handshake, or nothing. She decided to keep it simple; a compliment. "You look beautiful. I booked us a table at the restaurant downstairs."
Shiala stood rooted in place, fighting an inner war between the two versions of herself. The confident, strong, fearless commando that she used to be, valiantly attempted to scratch her way to the surface against the shy, self conscious, matron that she had become under her years of slavery at the hands of Sovereign and the Thorian.
Shepard took a deep swallow. Shiala was staring at her with an unreadable expression on her face. The commander shifted uncomfortably under the gaze. This was why she avoided mirrors. After several seconds of silence, she knew she had to do something.
The commander reached out her hand again, but this time, she ran the backs of her soft knuckles against the asari's cheek. "Are you okay, Shiala? I can leave, if you've changed your mind?" Shepard asked, suddenly becoming self aware and retracting her hand.
Shiala closed her eyes for a moment, willing herself to have the strength to take what she wanted. The commando finally won the mental battle against the matron, and Shiala reached forward with both hands, grabbing the human by the waist. She didn't ask permission, she didn't need to. The way the commander's eyes had drifted over her body upon her opening the door had been all the encouragement she needed.
There was a small cry of surprise emitted from the back of the commander's throat as Shiala brought their lips crashing together. It felt like an eternity since the asari had known intimacy. It had been an eternity. She'd lived out dozens of lifetimes in the endless, eternal consciousness of the Thorian. She was an ancient soul, put back in the body of an asari barely out of her maiden stage.
The commander accepted the kiss with enthusiasm, returning the pressure and wrapping her arms around Shiala's neck. The roses dropped to the ground, temporarily abandoned, as the asari inched backwards, coaxing the commander with her. There was a sudden movement on Shepard's part, and the hissing sound of a door. Shiala opened her eyes, and saw that the commander had used a backwards kick to shut the door behind them, giving them complete privacy.
Breaking apart for a moment to catch their breaths, Shepard took the moment to double check. "Are you sure?"
Shiala moved quickly, pushing the commander backwards and smacking her shoulders against the door, before planting another claiming kiss on her lips. Shepard moaned into the asari's mouth, parting her lips to welcome the embrace of an emerald green tongue. Shiala probed the commander's soft mouth, experiencing the taste and sensation of a human for the first time. Shepard's tongue met Shiala's and massaged it, while the asari's deft hands began gripping the human's hips bony hips, digging her nails into the tender flesh.
Shepard was accustomed to being in charge of her sexual experiences, and had been mentally prepared to be in the driver's seat if the night's date had ended in bed. The asari's sudden confidence and dominance was both unexpected and exciting.
Shiala felt the inside of her skull begin to hum, her arousal pushing forth the almost forgotten urge of her consciousness to join with another. She fought the instinct, wanting to hold out for as long as she could, not sure if she'd be able to sustain a bond after what her mind had been subjected to. Instead, she threaded her fingers through Shepard's hair. She let out a soft gasp at the sensation, the hundreds of fine, silken strands running their way over her finger tips.
Shepard responded by exploring the folds at the back of Shiala's neck, working her way up from the base of the skull to the crests. Shiala moaned in response at Shepard touching the unknown erogenous zone with gentle, curious fingertips. Shiala unconsciously ground her hips, setting off a dull, longing, throb between both women's legs.
Breaking the kiss and stepping away before she lost control and forced a meld, Shiala looked the commander up and down. "Undress yourself, Commander," she ordered, getting a gleam of desire in the redhead's eyes.
Shepard gathered the fabric of her tee-shirt in her hands and paused before pulling it over her head. The asari wanted her, and, judging by her response to Shepard's hair, she hadn't been with a human before. Still, the niggling self-doubt made her release the fabric.
"Shiala…" she said uncomfortably, "There's something you should probably know."
With a frustrated groan, the asari started undoing her own suit, pulling the fabric away quickly, exposing large expanses of semi-textured, green flesh.
Shepard felt a fresh wave of arousal as the asari stripped herself bare. Their bodies were as similar as she had suspected. Ridded of her self-doubt, Shepard pulled her tee-shirt off and threw it across the room, before hastily unbuttoning her pants and stepping out of them. She moved across the room to help the asari out of her suit, her breath hitching in her throat as a pair of large, beautiful, breasts were exposed.
"So alike…" Shepard murmured, admiring the womanly body as Shiala pulled off the rest of her suit and stood in a pair of black panties.
Shiala moved forward, extending her hands and letting them rest on Shepard's waist. The commander was in white underwear and a matching bra, something which the asari planned on relieving the human of very quickly. The feel of the skin beneath her hands was incredible, so soft and warm, with a tiny hint of fuzz.
She looked into Shepard's eyes, and felt the prickling again, being peaked by her own overwhelming desire. She wouldn't be able to hold off much longer.
"I've never been with an asari before," Shepard blurted out, before her cheeks coloured and she dropped her gaze.
"And I have never bonded with a human," Shiala admitted reluctantly. "Your species had not yet joined the galactic community the last time I…"
Shepard's eyes widened with the revelation, and Shiala nearly ducked her head with the flush of embarrassment.
"It's okay, Shiala," Shepard said, cupping the asari's cheek. "It's been a long time for me too. I… had a bit of an accident after I met you on Feros. I'm not even sure if my body still works the way I want it to. I... haven't even tested it out for myself yet..."
Shiala smiled and moved in closer for another kiss, this one being more tender, and lacking the intensity of earlier. "Will you join with me, Shepard? We can show each other what pleases us, rather than speaking."
Shepard swallowed loudly and nodded. "Yes."
Shiala let passion overwhelm her at the whispered assent, bringing the commander in for another long kiss. Her mind lunged forward, its relentless fights against indoctrination from Sovereign and the Thorian making it too powerful. The meld was too fast, too strong, too deep, and as Shepard stepped back and hissed through her teeth, Shiala felt the echo of the splitting pain in her own head through the mental link. She severed the connection quickly, and the commander sank to her knees, holding her forehead in her hands.
"Commander?" Shiala asked, squatting in front of the human and resting her hands on her shoulders.
"I'm alright, I'm alright," Shepard said, getting unsteadily to her feet, "Just took me by surprise. Is that what it's supposed to feel like?"
Shiala bit her lip and felt the unconfident matron assume control. She turned her back and crossed the floor, resting her hands on the windowsill and looking out across the Ilium skyline. "I am afraid I am no longer fully in control of my mind, Shepard. I cannot meld as a normal asari can."
She blinked back tears at her failure, wondering if she would ever know the intimate caress of another soul again.
Shepard crossed the floor and came up behind the asari. Wrapping her arms around the slender green waist and bringing her hands to rest on the flat plain of the commando's stomach, she pulled the asari in close, pressing her small breasts against the green, softly muscled back.
Not really sure what she was doing, she brought her mouth to the folds and crevices of Shiala's neck, brushing her lips up and down the soft skin gently. Shiala arched into the contact, letting out a quiet moan. Shepard worked her way to the side of her neck, identifying the small fold that seemed to work as an ear.
"Let's try again?" Shepard whispered.
Shiala's breathing started getting heavier as Shepard's fingernails dragged light trails up and down her abdomen, coming tauntingly close to the waist band of her already wet underwear.
"I could not guarantee that it would not happen again," Shiala answered regretfully.
Shepard planted her hands on the asari's hips and used them to slowly spin her around.
"That meld hurt," Shepard admitted, "But it also sent a particularly strong image of something you wanted me to do to you. I'd like to try that, if you'd let me. While I'm doing that, I want you to try and join with me again. A bit slower, this time."
Shiala wasn't sure what image she had accidentally sent. There were at least a dozen different things she wanted the commander to do to her body, but she nodded, and stood still while the commander took charge.
Shepard smiled and guided Shiala against the pane of glass of the large window, bringing her hands up and cupping both breasts. She brought her mouth to the asari's neck and planted a trail of open mouthed kisses along it, before sliding out a warm, pink tongue and running it along Shiala's collarbone.
Shiala stayed still, locked in place with nervousness, managing to run her hands through Shepard's hair and not much else.
"You are so gorgeous," Shepard murmured as she massaged the breasts with her hands and used the pads of her thumbs to tease the nipples.
Shiala opened her mouth to respond, but a strangled moan came out instead. Shepard laughed softly and looked into Shiala's eyes for a moment. "I want you to start trying to meld with me now."
Shiala swallowed and took a deep breath, relaxing enough to let her mind expand as Shepard took a nipple into her mouth and tickled it with her tongue.
Shiala brushed against the first layer of Shepard's consciousness, slowly immersing herself. She could hear shallow thoughts, and smiled at some of the new and unusual human slang that Shepard was using in her stream of consciousness. She went the next layer down, where she got to find the memories and meanings associated with the thoughts she was hearing.
Shepard dropped to her knees, eyeing off the panty-clad package with mixed parts curiosity and excitement. She could hear whispers in the back of her mind, thoughts that she knew weren't hers, but were too quick and too quiet for her to latch onto and understand.
Shiala let out a small giggle, and Shepard looked up to see that her entire eyes had become shining, onyx orbs.
"Yes, Commander," Shiala said with a smile as she heard the unspoken question, "I do want you to 'fuck me with your mouth'."
A small groan of desire escaped Shepard, as she experienced the passion both in Shiala's spoken words, and in her thoughts. Using her teeth to grab hold of the waist band, Shepard dragged the underwear down Shiala's hairless thighs, stopping at the knees as the asari stepped out of them.
Shepard could smell the scent of Shiala's arousal, an intoxicating sweetness that reminded her of the bouquet of fruit. Physically, it looked very similar to what human women had hidden below their belt-lines.
Shiala deepened the meld another layer, getting to experience the commander's emotions. She got hit by a wave of arousal that nearly bowled her over. Beneath that, there was a strong feeling of respect, and a warm, fuzzy sense of affection. And mercy. The memory of the mercy that Shepard had showed her over two years earlier. Below those feelings, she could sense a deep, abating confusion, and a palpable loneliness. They seemed so similar to her own hidden feelings, she wasn't sure if she was reading Shepard's emotions, or simply projecting her own. On Shepard's end, she felt an inexplicable rise in her own lust as she felt Shiala's wanton need combine with her own. Behind it, she felt a roil physical attraction, a wave of admiration, and a crushing sense of gratitude at the life she had spared.
Almost overcome by it all, she grabbed Shiala's hips with both hands, and brought her mouth into contact with the asari's sex, pressing a kiss onto the soft folds.
Shiala's knees dipped ever so slightly at the small amount of contact, urging Shepard forward. Using the tip of her tongue, the commander started low, dipping shallowly into the asari's wet entrance, before slowly tracing her way up the crevice. She could taste a hint of Shiala's flavour, which was just as sweet as it smelled. Getting a gasp of pleasure from the asari and a fresh swell of desire, she pushed forward, parting the folds with her eager tongue and getting a buck of approval from Shiala.
Shiala braced herself against the window as the commander's tongue found her clit. She could hear the relief in the commander's thoughts that their bodies were as similar as she had hoped. Unconsciously grinding her hips a second time, Shiala deepened the meld again, sharing physical sensations. She could taste the echo of her own arousal on the end of her tongue, could feel the soft flesh being bent to Shepard's will as if it were her own mouth doing the work.
Shepard faltered slightly when she felt the tingling between her legs of her own tongue, knowing that Shiala had sunk herself deeper into her mind. Determined not to be distracted by all the new sensations and thoughts running through her head, she doubled her efforts, lavishing the asari's bud with caress after caress of her tongue, switching between soft, broad strokes, and more stiff, precise twirls.
Shiala was panting hard and had a light-green knuckled grip on the window sill, when a thought came to mind. Sensing Shepard's need for stimulation, her human, primal instinct to be filled, she sent forward an image.
Shepard moaned in response and emanated a fresh wave of lust, as she released one of Shiala's hips, sliding the hand down into her own soaked underwear. Using two fingers, she slipped them into herself, her slickness allowing for the stretch quite easily. Thrusting in and out of herself with a progressing speed, she felt her own breath begin to come out in short, ragged, puffs.
Shiala felt the phantom grip wrap it's way over her middle and index fingers, as both the women began writhing at the dual sensations of having their walls filled, while having a tongue play with their bundle of nerves.
Shiala could feel the pressure building in her core, the human's talented ministrations bringing her closer to her first proper orgasm in decades. She grabbed two handfuls of red hair and dragged her fingernails across the sensitive skin of Shepard's scalp.
Shepard struggled to stave off the impending climax, trying to drag out the first sexual contact she'd had in three years. But the asari tasted so delicious, and her arousal through the meld was slowly drowning out Shepard's self control, as she used her own curved fingers to graze along her g-spot with every new plunge.
The sensations were becoming too much, and Shiala gripped the hair tightly, pulling Shepard in as close as possible. She ground her hips against the commander's face, feeling the echo of Shepard's thrusts becoming quicker and deeper.
Shepard sensed the urgency in the asari. She would've been able to tell she was close even without the aide of the meld, body language alone being a big indicator. Shepard slid a third finger inside herself, increasing the stretch for both of them. Then, she used her lips to form a light, sucking seal over the asari's nub, stroking it with quick, gentle flicks of her tongue.
Shiala could hold on no longer, having been teetering on the edge of ecstacy for too long now. She deepened the meld once again, reaching down to the deepest level. There was a momentary push back as Shepard's subconsciousness instinctively fought the intruder, but with an audible breath, Shepard relaxed herself, allowing the asari to settle into her like a warm bath. As Shiala slipped inside the commander's mind, she felt her physical banks break.
With a heated internal explosion, Shiala threw back her head and moaned loudly as the climax hit her. Wave after wave of pleasure pulsed from her central core, outwards, the warmth spreading through her entire body. She arched her back and her thighs trembled as her knees began to give out under her own weight. She was vaguely aware of Shepard's tongue stiffly attempting to continue its massage, her inner walls clamped down too tightly over her fingers to attempt movement as she battled her own crashing orgasm.
There was a lot of yelling, her own voice calling out to the Goddess, Shepard's voice calling out to someone named "Sweet Jesus," but she soon realised that the cries were being voiced internally through the meld, and the room was relatively quiet except for their combined panting.
Shepard could barely keep her mouth moving, her throaty moans causing a vibrating sensation to go shooting across Shiala's skin. Shiala finally released her death grip on Shepard's hair, allowing the commander some air and space, as both their bodies began to calm. Shepard used her tongue to clean up the slick fluid that had been released by the asari during her climax, savouring every delicious drop.
She became aware of Shiala pulling back from the meld, inch by inch, the way she had gone in. First, she lost the ghostly sensation of her own tongue working its way into her engorged folds. Then, she lost the warm, embracing affection, groaning mournfully at its loss. Then, the whispers, the unfamiliar thoughts disappeared, and Shepard was alone again. She looked up, only to see Shiala looking down at her, her skin damp and flushed. Her mouth displayed a small, satisfied smile, and her eyes had returned to their natural colour, but they were empty, full of loss.
Shiala leaned back, feeling the whispers of Shepard's thoughts be replaced by the Thorian's echo once more. Shiala felt bereft of the connection, of the warm, husky voice filling her mind with strange words and wanton imagery. She missed the warm, encompassing affection.
"Shepard…" she started to say, although she didn't know how to finish that sentence.
Shepard stood unsteadily, taking the asari in her arms. "That was… I've never… Wow…"
"Thank you, Commander," Shiala murmured into the soldier's shoulder, "I cannot tell you how much I needed that."
"Likewise," Shepard whispered, kissing the asari's forehead.
"Uh, Commander?" Shepard's omni-tool sparked to life, a direct connection with the Normandy via the emergency channel.
"Yes Joker?" she asked irritably, breaking away only slightly from the asari's embrace.
"You know we were meant to leave like, 20 minutes ago, right?" he chirped glibly.
Shepard looked over Shiala's shoulder. The Ilium skyline, which had been bathed in both natural and artificial light when she arrived, was now completely dark. The wispy rays of light of the setting sun had disappeared, and the restaurants and shopping centres were all closed for the night. She shook her head in confusion, and checked the time on display on her omni-tool. She'd been with Shiala for over three hours.
"How is that… possible?" she asked, feeling the pain in her knees and the stiffness in her tongue.
"The bond often blurs time, Commander," Shiala answered sheepishly. "It is not uncommon for a couple to remain joined for days."
Shepard raised her eyebrows, clearly impressed.
"Are you coming, Commander?" Joker asked impatiently. "Coz your XO is about to throw a total bitch-fit."
Shepard shifted uncomfortably before responding. "On my way, Joker," she said, closing her omni-tool and looking at Shiala sadly.
"I'm sorry, I had no idea we'd been so long. I've… I've gotta go."
Shiala nodded her head and swallowed hard. She understood, better than most, the sacrifices made in the name of duty.
"I'd like to see you again… But I don't really know when that'll be," Shepard said, shrugging away and crossing the room to find her clothes.
Shiala watched her mournfully. She hadn't even had the chance to get the commander out of her underwear.
"We will meet again if the universe wills it, Shepard," Shiala said, pushing away from the sweat slicked windowpane to gather her own belongings.
"Screw that," Shepard said, pulling her pants up quickly. "I've got your omni-address. When I can, I'll contact you."
"As you wish, Commander," Shiala said, not quite believing her.
Shepard pulled her tee-shirt on and crossed the space between them quickly, pushing a forceful, possessive kiss onto Shiala's mouth. Shiala melted into it, moulding herself into the commander's embrace. A small whimper escaped her mouth when Shepard finally pulled away.
"I mean it. I'll message you as soon as I'm done with my mission. I want to see you again."
Shiala looked into the commander's eyes, and saw the resounding truth resting in them. "Then I will await your return, Commander."
Running her hand along the asari's cheek, Shepard smiled and gave her one last kiss. "My name is Shepard."
Shiala perched on the end of the bed as the commander walked out of her hotel room. "I will miss you, Shepard."