A/N: Ever since I heard this song I've equated it with vampires. I've always been a freak for vampire stories and Twilight fell right into my little fettish. After reading Twilight I thought Haunted would be a good part of the movie soundtrack except it doesn't quite fit with SM's sparkly world. But after reading and writing fanfiction for almost a year I finally figured out that I can write my own that does fit. Interestingly enough, this story has no vampires in it. Not the bloodsucking kind.

Haunted
By Evanescence

Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you, loving you
I won't let you pull me down

Hunting you, I can smell you - alive
Your heart pounding in my head

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Saving me, raping me, watching me

Watching me, wanting me
I can feel you pull me down
Fearing you... loving you
I won't let you pull me down

Look it up on youtube and hear it's eerie sound if you are unfamiliar with it.
I love this song.

Each chapter will feature a section of the lyrics.

It's dark. It's dirty. It's AU.

Stephenie Meyer owns the rights to all her characters. I just like playing with them.

Long lost words whisper slowly to me
Still can't find what keeps me here
When all this time I've been so hollow inside
I know you're still there

Four months and she could still feel his breath on her neck as he whispered the words calculated to open her heart—and her legs.

"I love you, Bella," he'd murmured in a low tone that seemed to resonate through her heart, her bones, her being. Her soul. "Do you know how sexy you are?" He had a way of touching her that could leave her both panting and wanting, sated and needing. All at once. And no one had ever thought she was sexy.

Edward.

It was such a common name yet so formal. It made her think of the classic literature she loved to read with noble, yet slightly flawed heroes who always made some cathartic change to secure the happily ever after. That's what drew her back to him again and again. All the great love stories are angst filled, right? She knew because she was double majoring in both American and British literature. She figured she'd read them all the great romances by the time she was finished with her Ph.D. But, that was a long way off.

"Stop it." The growl of her best friend also had a way of rumbling in her chest. It could be comforting, but half of the time it just pissed her off. He always thought he knew what she was thinking. If he actually did, she probably wouldn't have been in the whole Edward mess.

"What?" she asked feigning an innocent voice she was sure was convincing. "I'm reading my assignment."

"Whatever," Jacob replied, "eat your lunch or I'm going to tell Dr. Gerandy." She knew he loved her and was concerned about her, but she was getting better. It frustrated her that he failed to recognize the little steps she was taking.

Bella looked from her friend's dark eyes down to the plate in front of her that was virtually untouched, back up the teak stillness that seemed to swallow her excuses and spit them back at her when he didn't like them. She'd try anyway.

"Sorry, I was just reading," Bella tried, "it's really a great book. Seriously Jake, you need to get a life instead of monitoring every single bite of food I eat." She pulled her lip in between her teeth as if she could absorb some nutrients from it while she waited to see if he bought her excuse. She didn't need him shadowing her again. Well, any more than he already did.

"You've been reading that same page for five minutes and you're not eating your lunch. That's the problem." He leaned his hulking, muscular frame forward, across the table and hitched one corner of his mouth up in a smirk. Jacob was sort of beautiful and Bella never wondered why girls threw themselves at him. He would never be lonely as long as he flashed that sweet smile which offset his predatory air. His spiky hair and rugged attire gave him the bad boy look that made girls cream themselves and his dimpled, toothy smile made them want to take him home to meet mom and dad. Her dad already knew him and she had grown out her infatuation for him long ago. Her solace at never having Jake see her like he saw other women was that he was still her friend. Jake didn't have girlfriends, he fucked girls. A lot.

"Am I going to have to feed you bite by bite?" Her heart flipped when he said it and her eyes widened infinitesimally. His question reminded her of the first time Edward indicated what he really wanted from her. She'd never told Jake, though.

"No, you jackass. I can feed myself." Her heart pounded as she pushed the memory down. She'd think about it when Jacob's omniscient eyes weren't across from her.

"Then fucking do it," he said, again through a grin that both showed his concern and his irritation. He was so good at that. He leaned back in this chair and shoved about three inches of his foot-long sandwich into his mouth as if showing her by example.

Bella set down her book and picked up her own sandwich and took, what she thought would be a huge bite. "Happy?" she mumbled and a piece of onion flew out and landed on the table. Jake just nodded, chewing his own monstrous bite. Bella couldn't believe how fast he could down food. Mayonnaise squirted out the back of Jake's sandwich with his next bite.

"That's disgusting," she said as he licked the mayo off the heel of his hand.

"Bells, not liking mayo is, like, un-American or something. It's like being communist in the '50s. There's got to be a Congressional committee that investigates that sort of thing." Bella shook her head at him as she tried to chew her mouthful of food. He was taking a class on the Cold War and he'd been making references to it all damn semester. She'd be glad when term was over.

Jacob turned his sandwich around and licked another glob of mayo that was threatening suicide and Bella shuddered trying to not lose the little bit of her lunch she had managed to swallow. "And I won't be happy until you chew that bite, swallow it, finished the rest, and Let. It. Digest." His eyes were serious with no hint of levity in them at all. Again, it irritated her. He always thought he knew—most of the time he was right. That is what was so irritating. Bella swallowed half of what was in her mouth and then stuck her tongue out to show him the rest.

"How old are you? Seriously?" Jake scoffed at her display of chewed up food.

"Thought you'd want to check that I was chewing and swallowing," Bella bit out sarcastically. She loved it when she could surprise him. It didn't happen often.

"And I'm the disgusting one?" Jake asked, smirk back in place. "I'm not a bird, I don't share food that way." Bella finished swallowing.

"No, but you're a wolf who will eat anything." Bella raised her eyebrow, "and I do mean anything." As if the cosmos wanted to illustrate her point Jake's phone buzzed. Bella took another bite, but smaller this time.

"Jealous?" Jake leered as he licked his lip before he looked down at his phone where his fingers typed in his passcode. Her heart flipped again. She was. But it was because she missed him. She couldn't tell Jake that, though.

"In your dreams," Bella scoffed. She swallowed and ate a hand full of chips. She knew he'd noticed if she didn't.

"Speaking of wet dreams," Jacob's smile always lessoned the crassness of his words, "looks like I won't need one tonight." His huge thumbs navigated the touch screen of his phone deftly. He had to get one of those huge phones that almost looked like a tablet, but everything about Jacob was big.

"Who was that?" she asked before taking another bite. His playful eyes met hers and they were full of excitement.

"Jessica." His phone buzzed again and whatever she typed back to him made him groan with pleasure and shift in his seat.

"So skank is on the menu for tonight," Bella said through another mouthful. "You really will eat anything."

"She gives it good and doesn't demand what I don't want to give," Jake said distractedly still looking at his phone. "Mmm-mm!" he growled as his phone buzzed again.

"God, don't tell me she sent a picture." Bella really hated the technological age. It took all the romance out of everything. Jacob's gaze met hers and he winked.

"Damn, she's hot! Wanna see?" He clucked his tongue against the back of his teeth.

"No," her tone was resolute. "You don't send that kind of shit back do you? There aren't pictures of little Jakey out there in cyberspace are there?" Bella had an irrational fear about media and pictures on the internet.

"No," Jake put his phone back on the table, "if you don't get to see it live, then you don't get to see it." He leaned forward again, "and there ain't nothin' little about it." He waggled his eyebrows.

"I'm one of the few girls on this campus who doesn't have first-hand knowledge. I'll just take your word for it," Bella replied. She popped the last of her sandwich in her mouth and stuck out her tongue again.

"I could show you a few things," Jake smirked. Her heart flipped again. Why did everything he said today remind her of Edward?

"I've been shown enough," she mumbled. "What time is the skank buffet? When will it be safe to come home?"

"We'll be at her place. Her roommate is gone for the weekend. I gotta get home and shower. Wanna ride?" Jake offered.

"No, I have to go to the library and finish my paper."

"Bells," Jake whined, "don't go there. You always get depressed when you go to the library." He knew that's where she'd met Edward. He didn't know all the other things that happened there. But when she was in this mood, it was the only place that offered any kind of relief.

"I have to, Jake. I have to do some research," she defended.

"That's what the internet is for," Jake countered.

"I want to," Bell started and Jake joined her to finish the sentence, "feel the books in my hands."

"Promise me that you'll let that food digest." Bella hadn't thrown up in two months and just gave him an irritated scowl.

"Promise me you'll wrap little Jakey up tight so that skank's fluids don't contaminate you."

"Fine," he promised. "I better go to the store and stock up though."

"You're disgusting," Bella shook her head.

"So you've been telling me." Jake said and a shadow crossed his face. It was so slight and so quick Bella thought she imagined it. Jake gathered the trash from both their lunches and stood up to throw it in the nearest trash can. His movements had the grace of an athlete, though he only played intramurals. He'd been recruited to play for the school, but he didn't like the pressure. Bella always admired his physicality and the comfort he seemed to have in his own skin.

"See you tomorrow sometime?" Jake leaned down and kissed her forehead as he picked up his backpack.

"I might be awake when you crawl in," she smirked up at him. Jake never stayed the night with his skanks and the tramps never stayed the night at their place either. "Come check on me." It was an invitation for him to make sure she was alright after spending time at the library. He nodded and gave her the Jake smile she'd known her whole life that seemed to right every wrong and make her forget that the world had problems.

Bella trudged across campus to the library and, against her better judgment, sat at the table where the whole mess began. The book she was reading and analyzing for class brought up so many issues she had yet to resolve she almost couldn't help herself. She opened her book to the page that Jacob accused her of reading for five minutes. If he only knew she'd been stuck on it all morning. She finally let her mind run away in her memories:

"Aren't you Bella Swan?" A gentle voice asked rousing Bella from her book. Bella pulled her glasses off her nose when she looked up at the sculpted face topped with a tangled mess of bronze hair. He was beautiful and his voice was…well it was magic.

"Yes?" she made it sound like a question.

"You sound like you're not sure," his lips hitched into a crooked grin and made her squeeze her thighs together.

"Yes." Bella said more assuredly, annoyed with herself. "And you are?" His green eyes crinkled in the corners as the other half of his mouth joined in the grin.

"I'm Edward Cullen, my father is your advisor, Dr. Cullen," he offered his hand. She took it and it was warm and soft. She couldn't help but notice the unscarred skin wrapped around Edward's pale tapered fingers. It was so different from Jake's hands which were russet colored, calloused, and scarred. Edward's fingers seemed refined and fit well on this lanky and lean body which was accented with tailored clothing that hinted of sophistication.

"Nice to meet you," Bella said shyly. "Dr. Cullen never mentioned that he had a son around my age. Of course," Bella lowered her eyes hoping what she said wasn't offensive, "I mean," she stammered, "I'm just assuming you're about my age."

"Give or take a few years," Edward smile his crooked smile again. "He's probably mentioned Emmett or Jasper," Edward supplied, "since theyare finished with school and I'm still stuck here." Bella couldn't seem to think straight, he was so beautiful. And he was talking to her. "He's mentioned you to them, though." This caught Bella off guard a little.

"Me? Why?" Bella had no idea why Dr. Cullen would mention her to any of his sons.

"Because he thinks you're bright and a promising student. He likes his sons matched with nice young ladies." Edward motioned to the chair across from her, "may I?"

"Sure," Bella stammered and she made to clear away her stacks of papers and books that had increasingly spread out across the table as her day progressed.

"But I'd noticed you before he pointed you out," his emerald eyes left hers and dropped to the table at his admission, "I just didn't know your name. He gave me an excuse to come talk to you." Slowly, so slowly that Bella could feel the seconds tick with each pound of her heart which seemed to take an eternity as his eyes raised from the table and drank in every bit of her until they reached hers again. "Come have a bite with me," his silky smooth tone made her throb and she was dumbstruck.

"I, uh," she stuttered and his mouth twitched in amusement, "I really have a lot to study, uh…"

"You've been here for hours; I've been watching you." His eyes sparkled and Bella thought she saw something deep move behind them. She wondered why she didn't find that creepy, but she didn't care. She was actually flattered. "Come on," his mouth twisted that sexy crooked smile, "take a break."

She packed up her bag in agreement and they headed to the coffee shop where they ordered lattes and chocolate filled croissants. Edward chose a secluded booth in the corner and he slid in next to her instead of across from her. Her heart thumped at how close to her he sat, though he didn't quite touch her. His proximity promised intimacy, but only hinted. The potential left her yearning and even squirming. His tall frame blocked her view from the rest of the shop and that set the tone for the rest of their relationship. All she ever saw was Edward. He dominated all her thoughts and all her actions.

"Would you like to try a bite of my croissant?" Edward crooned after they had discussed her major, her plans for the future and even a little bit about her high school life. He focused on her and wanted to know all about her. Bella had never felt so special.

"They're the same aren't they?" she asked looking down at her own confection. She felt his finger under her chin as he lifted her face back up to his gaze. Her skin zinged at the contact and she reveled in it.

"Mine has a cream filling," he raised his other finger to her lips which she saw had a dollop of vanilla custard on the top, "try it." His sultry whisper elicited a gasp which forced her lips to part. He took that opportunity to place his finger on her tongue gently. His eyes darted down to where her lips closed around his finger and then his lids fell closed. Bella had never been more turned on in her life. She gently sucked the cream off his finger and he groaned as he pulled it out of her mouth.

"Bella," he leaned in to whisper in her ear, "are you as turned on as I am?" Bella didn't know how to answer or even if she could. Her eyes found his and seemed to give him the answer he needed and then his eyes dropped to her lips.

"Bella?" he whispered with a crooked smile again. She didn't answer—she was too dazzled—but he continued anyway. "You have chocolate on your lip. Can I get that for you?" Before she could respond, her bottom lip was between his. He nibbled her lip and soothed it with his tongue before he pulled away and whispered, "You are so sweet."

She wasn't sweet. She'd been tarnished, but Edward didn't know that. And, the rest of the afternoon was delectably sweet. Hell, there were two weeks of hot yet frustrating seduction that were both sweet and sensual. He followed the same pattern of being painfully close and alluring and not touching her; winding her up, when he'd finally give in what he claimed were his uncontrollable desires. He told her that it took all his control not to ravage her all the time. She liked feeling desired instead of broken and dirty. Edward made her feel sexy and beautiful because he was sexy and beautiful and he wanted her. It took less than two weeks of a steady and free supply of Edward to get her hooked. Even after Bella found out about his wife, she couldn't stop herself. She was addicted. She needed his words, his touch, his breath. She needed him. He seemed to need her as much as she needed him also. He had all the right reasons and explanations to continue their affair too. He told Bella that his wife sucked him dry. But Bella filled the void.

Even after he left four months ago, to "protect her" from the fallout of his jealous wife who had discovered he was having an affair, she could feel his memory lurking all around her. The library, the coffee shop, and the many classrooms where they met for trysts were constant reminders of her scandalous affair with a married man. She was weighed down with guilt and remorse and the more she missed him and his touch, the guiltier she felt. She'd seen what infidelity had done to her father and now she was the "other woman." It left her hollow and more unsure of herself than ever before.

Jake forced her to move out of the dorms—where much of their affair had happened—and in with him so he could make sure she was eating. She'd completely lost her appetite and when she did force food down, she had a very hard time keeping it down. She'd been much better the past few weeks—well, months actually. But on days like today, when she knew Jake was off with some slut-muffin, she needed to be in a place that she associated with being desired.

Bella knew it was wrong. Bella finally admitted to herself that Edward was not the kind of man to settle down with anyone and he was just using her. After a few weeks of therapy and a frank discussion with Dr. Cullen, it became clear that Edward was a complete womanizer and his wife's behavior encouraged it. But he had made her feel wanted.

Love was born from desire and Edward was the only man who had ever desired her in her adult life.

Bella desperately wanted to be wanted.

Bella's phone buzzed loudly and scooted across the library table. She fumbled for it self-consciously hoping that it was Jake telling her his plans had fallen through. Jake may not desire her, but he was happy to spend time with her at least.

You're lost in thought, Love. I hope it's me you're thinking about right now. I miss your scent. I miss how you taste.

Bella's heart dropped and she closed her eyes in disbelief. Another memory danced across the back of her lids.

"Edward, someone's going to see us," Bella giggled as his lips sucked the side of her neck. He pushed her against a shelf of books from behind.

"Don't draw attention to us then," he purred in her ear. His fingers found the waistband of her yoga pants and dipped in and down to her hot, slick folds. She gasped at his brazenness in public. "Fuck, Bella, you're not wearing any underwear!" His middle finger found its way inside her where he pumped a few times. Another gasp escaped her lips as he pulled them out and spun her around in time for her to see him suck her essence off the finger he'd just finger-fucked her with.

"You taste so good," he said and kissed her, sliding his tongue into her mouth so she could taste, too. "Let's go."

Bella opened her eyes from the memory and her eyes roamed to the stacks where it had actually happened. She gasped when, leaning on end of the row where she was pondering, she saw his bronze hair and crooked smile. He stood up, pressed a button on his phone and disappeared into the stacks. Bella's phone buzzed again.

Come and relive a memory.

A/N: Leave me your thoughts. I like to hear them.
Pssst: the better the response, the more likely I am to update faster.
Chapter 2 is written and ready.