Hey guys! Yes I'm alive... sorry I've been inactive for so long, lots of stuffs going on in my life. Stress, work, little writer's block even some hibernation because it was so freeakkking cold in january (yes I'm canadian so I have to indulge in our favorite sport which is whining about the weather lol ^^) so I haven't been extremely inspired lately, was full of self-doubts and I feel more than guilty for you all waiting on me to get my head out of my a** (sorry for being vulgar lol) and for those who follow Kissed, I'll have a more extensive note below.
About this little story here, it was just a little something that was running in my head and that helped me working out my writing muscle :) As C.C. is always going on about Alec and Magnus' eyes, I decided to give them the spotlight a bit but from their's love point of view ;) It's a little cute something that I hope you'll love. I have other one shots going on that I've been having a lot of fun with and they should be up soon.
Little note to everyone, I'm now using my profile to give you a constant updates about my stories. I don't like 'teasing' readers by posting A/N in a story, knowing they hope a chapter and just get an apologies message... So from now on, my profile will be updated rigorously so you know what's going on. I invite you to look it up weekly so you're kept informed :)
Hope you enjoy this little two-shot, see you soon! And thanks to all who haven't given up on me yet, I love you deeply ^^
Disclaimer : Don't own! Also, for those who don't know (why would be suprising^^) The wonderful image I used for this story is from the ever sooooo amazing Cassandra Jean, follow her tumblr, she's my goddess of illustration *insert awed expression here*!
Chapter 1 : The Color of Eternity
When I first met them, they spoke of a lifetime of pain, shame and hatred. The youth surrounding them seemed lying, as if beneath the dazzling blue, you could encounter an infinity of life, stories and moments... most unbearable for the common being. I thought about somebody else for a moment then turned out wrong when I looked better. I was lost and hooked. The swirls of innocence mixed with an estranged feel of maturity dragged me in and all I could think about was that I could gaze into these aquamarine dephts forever. When they glanced back at me I saw vulnerability with some strength, shyness and maybe wonder.
Ever since that moment I've been remembered of this awed feeling we seemed to share from the start, as if we'd finally found each other, as if we'd encountered what we'd been searching for. Even when the blue darken in fear, when they turn grey with pain and suffering, and in those rare moments when they sparkle like a summer sky in one of those cherished laugh, I'm struck by his beauty. Always, when these big eyes seek mine deeply, the blue profound and enlightened with a sincere and assured confidence, gazing up at me as if they'd seen nothing better in their whole life... They take away 800 years of misery, the constant nagging memory of feeling as a forgotten piece in the thread of time, the loss and injuries that accumulate dust on the shelfs of my being, the hatred of what I am, the fear of losing myself over the years, the anguish that I do not matter... It's all gone when their blue fill my vision, remembering me of why I'm still here, that I lived so long only to wait for him, that no matter what happens as long as he hold me tight I'll never get lost, I'll stand still in the fury of the world, the injuries and losses will fade because I still have him forever. I matter to him. And then I know — the blues now took the color of eternity. I know I never want to lose myself in any other eyes. I'd wandered so long to finally find my path home.
Home is an half-angel with a body marked by life, scars that speak of courage and selfless sacrifice, dark hair that blows in the wind with the smell of our familiarity, a stance that gained confidence and pride under my awed and caring gaze, a mouth that smile crookedly breaking the beat of my heart, a laughter that echoes like bell chimes which I want to hear every minute of every day — and most of all, it's blue eyes framed with black lashes that says they know me, all of me. Eyes that made me leave all pretenses behind, opening myself to everything I'd missed before, unafraid and trusting of what I am, what I'll become and what I've been — because they know me, they saw my flaws, they don't care, they're still there and always wish to be. They love me unconditionally and so do I.
Everyday I'm amazed, the blues that captured me with their ever changing emotions lead and drive the rythym of my heart. I can't wait to wake up to see them again, knowing that I'll do everything to see the sparkles of his summer sky, the turquoise of his desire, the peaceful aqua of his happiness, even the midnight sky of his anger. Because he's mine forever. And if I get to meet the sad grey of his long years, the remembrance of what and everyone he'd lost, I'll hold him close and shelter his raging sea until the tide wash it away, because I love him and he's it for me. I'll still find them the greatest sight I've ever encountered and nothing will take me away from another of his storming ocean blue. I'll be beside him throughout all the colors of his emotions — Forever. I finally know what love is. And I'm never living without it again.
Hello again! Here's my explanation for what kept Kissed on hold so long. I would appreciate if you give me some feedback about my concerns :( Love you guys and whatever you have to say always give me the hand out and the push I need to keep going :) Thanks!
Okay... so sorry for that. I got a tiny whiny little block with this story (well it's been a month and a half, I apologize deeply) that should solve soon. I'm sorry I've left you guys hanging with this but I have came across some issues with the last two The Bane Chronicles. They've been twisting around my perception of Magnus and the unraveling of Malec story and I'm stuck with a choice that I feel bad doing by myself. I'm contemplating reworking on some parts of Kissed to make the story completely accurate to anything C.C. has come up with, trying as much as possible to salvage the plot line (although I'll definitely never consider the last upcoming TBC; the course of true love and first dates as I very much like my draft of Malec's first date and all my plot is based on that) without redoing the whole thing. Magnus Bane has pictured himself much more reluctant to his relationship with Alec then I'd foresaw (compared to the first TBC, where Magnus is portrayed like a love bee) and that bother me. My other option would be to leave the story as is, no matter the little flaws here and there, just to keep my story flowing like I had first wrote it. Now if you guys could PM me with your opinion, that would be wonderful. My other issue is that I'm now up to Max's passing and feel very self-conscious writing about death when I've never lost someone dear to me. I wouldn't want to offend anyone who'd lived that by sounding cliché and unfeeling but I'll try to be as emotional and realist as possible. Nonetheless, I do not intend on leaving this story on hiatus for much more longer, I feel bad enough already. Thank you all for your understanding. A new chapter should be up soon.