HEY: D
Well if u have just as weird humor like we (me and my cousin) u will enjoy this story, otherwise u will just think "what the hell is their problem?"
We wrote this just for fun ^ (Just so we have made that clear)
Btw, We don't own Twilight it all belongs to SM
(svenska mästerskap :D)
Our English is not so good, hope u will understand anyway
Bikini Bottom / Kohage
It was a sunny day in Forks – which was very unusual. So me and Bella was walking in the sunlight. When Bella suddenly got a very unusual vampire-attack; she jumped up on my back, and bite my neck. "You bit me, so now I'm biting you back! Vampire freak." Oh shit she's crazy! She undone my pants and pulled down my shorts. "Bella!" I squeal like a cow. I bend down to pull up my pants at the same time as Bella flew over me and splash down in a slope.
"Eeeedwaaardd", Bella screamed, and she made me so scared that I fell down in a mile-long-puddle of water. Oh my Bella! How deep can a puddle be? I'm not a puddle-expert but I think this is unusual deep! My butt hurt when I landed in the soft sand. Where the Esme am I? Have i died of Bella's scream? Was this hell?
Suddenly I saw someone walking towards me, and at the same moment I saw how it was… It was my Bella. "Bella", I cried happily. And smiled my Barbie-smile.
"Bella? You can't possibly have all the tomatoes on the right place…. I'm SpongeBob SquarePants!" said the yellow thing that reminds me of Bella.
"SquarePants? That's a funny last name" and I burst out laughing like a geek. Oh my Bella I sounded just like that nerd-stalker Mike Newton!
"that was my great grandfathers last name" said the yellow thing that apparently was named SpongeBob. The thought of a old-guy named SquarePants made my Newton-laugh become even bigger. The thought was interrupted when SpongeBob looked terrified at me. And took his hands and covered his eyes.
"what's wrong Bel.. I mean Bobby?"
"PUTT ON YOUR PANTS YOU NAKED FREAK!" Bobby roar and started to cry.
Embarrassed I pulled up my pink shorts, and added: "my name is not naked freak, its Edward Cullen." Bobby looked skeptical before he burst out in a girly-laugh.
"Edward!? What kind of name is that? Was year are you from 1800?"
"stupid yellow sponge-idiot" I mumbled angrily, and was just about to go when I felt that my throat was dry as a raisin – which was a little strange because I was in a puddle of water. I need blooooooood!
"Bobby do you know where I can find blood, in this puddle?" I asked a confused SpongeBob. "puddle? We're not in a puddle Eddie! We're in Bikini Bottom... wait, blood? Whata heck are you gonna have blood to, crazy-pantless-paleface!?" No human-ear could possibly have understand what Bobby just said….Wait, did he just called me Eddie? "handsome are a more suiting nickname, sponge" I said proudly and I threw my hair at the side. Of course was I very happy with my look. I'm so hooott!
"Palefaces is not handsome!" The yellow thing said.
"Yellow-sponges are even uglier"
"Not uglier than palefaces"
"Even Jacob Black is prettier than you" I scream to the cocky sponge.
"Edward…?" SpongeBob suddenly whispered kindly.
"yes?"
"Do you want to be my friend?" The sponge smiled at me. Was he serious? Never ever that I was going to be friend with a sponge. But… He looks like Bella; and I miss my blood-drinking-muffin. "If you show me were I can find blood." I said reminded of how thirsty I am.
"Sure buddy!"
"So…lets go to the bikini bottom hospital, and get some fish-blood" I suggest.
"We have no hospital here, silly boy" SpongeBob laughed like an old man.
"Well.." I hesitate before I continue: "So what do you have here in Bikini Bottom?" I asked thoughtfully.
"We have Krusty Krab" said Bobby happily.
"Ooh… Is that like a blood bank for sponges or something?" I gave SpongeBob a are-you-completely-out-of-your-mind look.
"No I am not completely out of my mind, Sweet thiiing, and its not a blood bank, its like burger king. Duh!" said SpongeBob and threw his hand at the side like angry bitch girls does on Tv.
SpongeBob was even more like a girl than Bella is!
"Sweet thiiing? Are you possibly a homosexual sponge?" I asked politely.
I do hate this feminine sponge but it reminds me of when the time when everybody thought I was… gay.
The sponge looked at me with big eyes "How.. How did you know?"
"It's a talent I have", I said proudly.
"Are your talent to see homosexual people?", The sponge asked me with an admired look.
' He's pretty cute even though he's pale '
"What? No! I am married sponge-face"
"With a guy?"
"NOOO! With a girl.. eh, Woman!"
"Oh I see, so you are bisexual?"
"No!!"
"Wait. How did you know that I thought you were gay?"
"Um.."
Fuck, I have just exposed my biggest secret!
I start running away until my head crashed into a big hard nose.
"HELL" I swore and put my hands on my sore head.
"I don't care who you are, apologize! Or I will personally send Emmett on you!" I threaten and wave with my fist.
"My name is Squidward, and I would rather have my ass kicked by this Emmett than spend my days with SpongeBob" , The big nose said.
"So you neither like SpongeBob?" I asked and suddenly get the feeling that I and Squidward will get along well.
Please, came with ideas for the next chapter.. Review :D