CHAPTER 1

Things shouldn't be like this. They were supposed to be together, weren't they? After all, their alternate selves had gotten together in every reality they'd come across, and she just figured they would too, eventually. And then the time came when the Goa'uld were vanquished, the Replicators too. So this was their time, right? Wrong.

Lt. Colonel Samantha Carter, former member of SG-1, and assigned to R&D at Area 51, was currently on loan to the SGC at Cheyenne Mountain. And while it was sort of good to be back here with her old friends Daniel and Teal'c, the one person she really wanted to see was not here. After General Jack O'Neill's appointment to head Homeworld Security, she thought she would hear from him, at least occasionally. But now, ten months later, he still hadn't written, hadn't phoned, hadn't e-mailed, and she worried he never would. So, what was up with the man who'd said he'd always be there for her? Always. He'd said it. Had it meant nothing to him?

They had been so close. Well, as close as two Airmen could be, considering he was her CO. They had worked together for almost nine years and had become good friends. They had shared experiences that no other two people had, taking the fight to the enemy on alien planets. And, although only two people had witnessed it, they had admitted to having inappropriate feelings for one another. It had happened under duress and was never to be mentioned 'out of the room.' But she had not forgotten his words the day of that Zatarc incident, when both of them had bared their souls. She had not forgotten, and her feelings for the man had only grown. She couldn't stop caring. Not even when she'd tried to start a life with someone else. She'd become engaged but had called it off, knowing that no man could complete her the way that Jack O'Neill could.

Finally the time came when the enemy had been defeated, at least for a time. Things were more relaxed, and hope bloomed inside her to replace the despondency.

For a short time she and her team members had basked in the feeling of a job well done. She and Jack had spent more downtime with one another, although their two closest friends, Dr. Daniel Jackson and the Jaffa Teal'c, were always included. And the Regulations were still in place; he was still her CO, even though he wasn't going off world anymore with SG-1. So she waited.

Then suddenly one day he announced he was leaving; he'd been offered a new job in Washington, D.C., one that he felt he couldn't turn down. Jack had told them all on one of their frequent team nights, this one occuring at his house. He talked excitedly about his future, as he plied them with beer and burnt steaks. Daniel and Teal'c expressed enthusiasm, and Sam...well, Sam had tried to act happy for him. In truth, she had died a little inside.

He couldn't love her, or he wouldn't have left, her brain reasoned. But her foolish heart just wouldn't listen. How in the hell could her breaking heart hold onto the hope they could be lovers, when they were no longer friends?

Her reaction was to immediately ask for reassignment to a place that would not remind her of General Jack O'Neill. And so they had parted ways. And now, here she was, back at Cheyenne Mountain with all its memories of things that could have been.

Cameron Mitchell, the new leader of SG-1, was a fine military man, a great Air Force pilot. Everyone knew he had helped save the Prometheus in the battle over the Antarctic. He was brave, dedicated to defending his country, his planet. He showed a sense of humor not unlike that of Jack O'Neill, albeit without the cynicism that Jack had displayed.

Sam Carter could see that Daniel Jackson and Teal'c had come to respect and trust Colonel Mitchell. He wasn't Jack O'Neill, but in some ways he was the next best thing. And for the time being, Col. Mitchell was her CO. She had no complaints with that, even though, if she had stayed at the SGC, the unit would have been her command. She didn't begrudge Mitchell the position. She just wished things could have been like they used to be, before she and Jack had saved the frakin world.

General Hank Landry had been chosen to head the SGC. He had replaced Jack O'Neill in the minds of the people who worked at the SGC, if not in their hearts. To many, including Landry, the SGC, and particularly SG-1, would always be Jack O'Neill's baby. And now, meeting for the first time with the officer who had been O'Neill's second for over nine years, General Landry weighed his words carefully. He had been apprised by George Hammond former head of the SGC that Samantha Carter was prepared to step in whenever her expertise was needed. Landry felt, as did Hammond, that her expertise was needed here on a daily basis. But could he convince her of that?

Lt. Col. Samantha Carter of the U.S. Air Force and Doctor of Theoretical Astrophysics, knew more about all things Stargate related than anyone on earth and probably anyone in the galaxy. And as promised, when Landry had requested her help, she had come to do her duty. It was clear, however, that now that the current problem had been solved, she really, really wanted to return to Area 51. General Landry had no intention of letting that happen.

He had to wonder what had happened that caused her to lose interest in going off world. What had happened to cause her to want to leave the SGC? Had she just become tired of the fast pace of the facility, the pressures involved with her old assignment, or was there something else? He'd have a talk with George Hammond. Maybe the man could shed some light on the matter. But in the meantime he had to try and convince her to stay.

"Colonel Carter, I understand there are probably projects at Area 51 that you would like to complete, but I really feel your place is with the SGC, finding new technology first hand. No one with your knowledge of science also has the military training and experience to carry out the work we do here. Why not resume your place here permanently with SG-1? You can even have your old lab back," the man promised, wondering how much it would take to get her to stay.

"Thank you, General Landry, but I really think I should return to Nevada."

Sam had been at the SGC for two months now, and things were going well between her and Mitchell. And she had to admit it was great working with Daniel and Teal'c again. But the place reminded her too much of the man who had broken her heart. She had to get away from here, before she had a total meltdown.

Ever since she had arrived at Cheyenne Mountain and taken residence in her old quarters, memories of Jack O'Neill had come flooding back. She was unable to sleep most nights, waking up in a cold sweat after dreaming about him. Usually the dreams were about seeing him get shot or hurt somehow, memories of past experiences. Sometimes they were erotic fantasies, things that had never actually happened. And everything about the place reminded her of him. She even thought she heard him walking toward her in the commissary one day, only to look and up and see a young Airman walking past her table. No, she thought miserably, this just wouldn't do.

But Landry was not going to give up so easily. He had Mitchell on his side too, the man practically begging him to make her stay. Landry would get her to change her mind, even if he had to create a reason to keep her here. For now he decided to let her think she had won.

TBC