Disclaimer: I own nothing!!
The voyage of the heart is a dangerous journey into the unknown. People can either stray into it or be trapped. But of course you get the few that are deliberately on that track of self destruct. Me? Well I was trapped . Sucked into a vortex of hazardous emotions. My mind and my heart a battle field. Conflicted. I know what I want and what I know can't happen. Since she moved here everything changed. It's like nothing I've ever known before. I was standing on the edge of a cliff. And she gave me a push. I'm falling. Free-falling into a bottomless pit I'm not so sure I want to reach the bottom of. Afraid of the this rush ending. Afraid of my high reaching a low. I like being high on love. It masks all things. It's my blind-spot in the corner of my eye. Shielding me from all.
It shields me from these masks. She wears one. She says she can't have it. But she wants it. I want it. But it's like looking into a toy-shop and wanting everything. For that is what she is everything. Everything I've looked for since I was old enough to understand. And that is my conclusion. I want this like nothing I've ever wanted before. My heart was prey. And the predator has stolen it. All I can do is watch as it flows in there wake.
I long for her. I shall til the ends of the earth. But that is something even I cannot achieve. For there are many things a human needs to survive. Food. Water. Air. And love. The most important of all. But for love you need a beating heart. And mine was stolen. It's squeezed tightly around hers. Not wanting to let got. It's held in place. Not by my will. But by hers.
We fight each other. It's a love, hate relationship some might say. But I do not. It's all love. But it's a hostile country. And were there's hostility there's violence. The violence of my heart predeceases me. I wish – I wish with all my might that someone was there to save me from this free-fall. I want it to be her.
There have been many occasions I thought I'd loose her. Loose that net, that net that protected me from the tightrope I was walking. When she was at that bomb. I thought she was dead when I heard the alert of the radio. Again when I got a call from a friend. It wasn't til I saw her standing, did I fell my heart beat again. She wishes to torture me. Earn my hearts place beside hers. She risked all she had to pretend to be someone she wasn't. She risked my sanity. The sound of the grenade exploding sounded no different from a gunshot over a radio. I pulled her close. I held her close to my chest not letting her go. Her hair tickling my face. I wanted her.
Now she gets bitten. Why I ask do I have to be tried. All I want is to have her as mine. But forces unknown to me are against it. As I walk to the door hands by my side, beer on the table, I long for the visitor to be her. The door opens. The wind blowing down the corridor. A wet women standing on my doorstep. She was there. She had come. She was my saviour in the darkness. And all I wanted was her.
'Linds?'