Deformity is an Understatement
Written by Cartman's Girl and Invader Poe

Notes: Since something botched, here is the story all over again. But now, with shorter chapters for you busy folk. Enjoy!

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Chapter One (since I'm too bored to think up proper names!)

It was a typical night in the ghettos of Irk - the wind was cold and dusty, howling through the testaments and warehouses that stood in haphazard patterns, the old, abandoned, outgrown and unplanned part of the capital city. The wind tussled the extremely long, half-curled antennae of pale-skinned Irken, jangling the piercings stuck in the sensory organ. He lifted his head from his perch, a rusted garbage container, which he had been rooting around for food in - he was tall and lean, starved, technically an older adolescent but the wear and tear of slum life made him look much older and world-weary. The wind carried voices in it, and he leapt off of his perch with a sort of animal grace, pausing by the opening of the dark alley he was in and listening. Outside, strolling down the road was two older Irkens.

"...and yeah, can you believe it? A Noble of that standards, coming into the slums like this." said the taller one, the shorter Reject furrowed his brow.

"But still, she got that guy out of the slums and back to the Irken society. That's pretty neat... 'n all." the taller Reject shrugged, the two coming to a stop.

"Still, if I had a chance I'd take it like that." he snapped his gloved fingers. He jumped slightly and pulled back into the shadows before they spotted him, but it was too late. He saw them look in his direction and froze, staring at them with almost wild fear, and the shorter Irken tilted his head, looking over at his companion,

"It just me, or does that kid look like that Noble?"

"Hey yeah he does... pale skin and the antennae thing." the taller one said, then nudged his companion in the head. "Whattya wanna bet they're related? Not every day you see a light toned Irken."

"You kiddin? Related to a Noble like that, what's he doin out here?" They shrugged, and the shorter one turned back to the young, darkly-dressed Irken,

"You got a name, kid?" He just stared at them blankly, like he didn't quite comprehend, backing away. The shorter of the two Irkens frowned,

"I don't know, maybe we should leave him alone, he's actin like he got Bit.."

"The Bite?" the taller one eyed the Irken, then waved a hand. "Then there's no hope for him."

"Yeah, let's leave before he--"

"…w…wait." The black-eyed Irken managed, taking a deep breath,

"I can… I can control it… " He folded his antennae back, "Really… I'm… I'm Poe."

"Poe? ...well, hi Poe. I'm Way, and this here is Yeh." Way stood back, his antennae quirking. Poe nodded a greeting at them, then looked back at where they had come,

"Where… did you see this Irken… that'd looked like me?" He had been looking for his parents, after an old local crime lord had dropped an enigmatic hint about them being around and being important in the Irken world after Poe had distracted the Patrollers for him.

"Oh, Noble Xyth." Yeh nodded, jutting his thumb back the way they came. "She usually comes around here, helping out Rejects as much as she cane."

"I think she's at the old Voot Cruiser Painting Plant." Way added.

"Hm…" He nodded his head at the other Irkens slightly, "…thank you." He wasn't one for many words, and started past them, heading down the road. Yeh and Way watched him walk off, before exchanging glances.

"Nice kid."

"For a Bite victim." with that, the two walked off.

Meanwhile, over at the old Voot Cruiser Painting Plant, a few Rejects were stood outside, looking in through the broken windows. Not every day they saw a Noble, let alone a female Noble in their mist. She, Noble Xyth was looking around the wrecked building, her long curled antennae blowing in the wind gently - and causing a piercing in her left antennae to jangle. Poe wandered up to the crowd hesitantly; he didn't do well around groups, after all. He stood up, straightening his back to see over the other Irkens, tilting his head at the window. The female inside did look sort of like him, but he perished the thought; Yeh and Way were right, how could a garbage-eater possibly be related to a Noble? At that moment, Xyth turned her gaze to the broken windows. She saw the Rejects looking in on her, and she smiled gently. Then she saw Poe looking in on her, and she tilted her head slightly to the side, before turning around to face the group through the windows.

Poe jumped when their eyes almost seemed to meet, and he scrunched back, drumming his fingers together, considering retreating at a fast pace. There was always the chance she recognized him from want posters, after all. Xyth stood taller as he retreated slowly, before walking up to the window, then leaning out through the broken doorway. Some Rejects did start to retreat, even if they knew she was on their side, trusting a Tall Noble was risky business. She spotted Poe again in the group, looking at him with a concerned look, then motioned him to come closer.

"Slark.." he murmured under his breath, but he knew he'd only be in more trouble if he tried to run now, and slowly took a step towards her, then another; for Xyth it was a lot like trying to coerce a wild animal into coming to her. Seeing him come closer she slowly knelt down, getting her dress now rather dirty, not like she minded at all. Now knelt down she sat there waiting for him to come close enough to at least speak with him. Poe finally got within range, looking up at her with his dark eyes, eyes she'd probably only seen on only one other Irken.

"Y… yes, Miss… um… Noble?" He flinched at his lack of etiquette.

"Hello there." she said gently, her voice sounding very soft. Xyth still smiled at him, her antennae tensing slightly as, even if through all the smells he had on him, the young Irken seemed very familiar.

"H-hi," he was still hunched up, trying to disappear into the ground, his antennae limp at the sides of his head in submission and no longer showing their curved shape. "Am I… in… trouble?"

"No dear," Xyth slowly shook her head, before smiling at him gently. "Can I know your name, please?"

"I'm Poe…" He seemed to relax a bit, straightening a bit and showing off some of his true height, he came up past her waist and was still somewhat slumped.

"I thought so." she smiled, "You're not very old, are you Poe?"

"I'm… uh…" He looked down at the ground and thought for a moment, "I think… I'm… 17." Something about this female was making him act well, more kid-like, though. The Noble nodded slightly, before looking at him again.

"I believe I know you, Poe." He paled further, if that was possible, starting to think he was in trouble, "Y-y-you do?"

"Yes, I do." she seemed to sense how he felt, and raised her hands. "It isn't a bad kind of knowing either dear."

"It… isn't?" He asked tentatively, then looked up at her. "How… how do you know me?" She placed her hands in her lap, before bowing her head slightly to him.

"I do believe I'm your Mother." Xyth smiled at him as she raised her head, "For you have my previous mate's eyes, and the name I gave my smeet."

"I… what? But that… that's impossible… I'm just a Reject…"

"I know that Poe." Xyth replied, "You… you were classified as a Reject shortly after you hatched. I couldn't do anything to save you." she closed her eyes, looking slightly upset as remembering it again. "That… you were the reason why I started helping Rejects out… knowing my first smeet was one, I felt I had to do something." He nodded slightly,

"So.. do you think." He folded his antennae back again, staring at the ground. It hadn't been a good night, his illness was starting to come into full bloom, so to speak, and it was making him weak and scared, and the thought that here was his Mother, a tall, powerful Irken, was hard to comprehend. He couldn't stand life here, anymore - anywhere would be better. "You think… you'd be able… to help me?"

"I can only help if you want me to." Xyth replied. "And… I do hope you'll let me."

"I… I hate it here." He glanced around at the buildings, "Everything it's all… it's just too hard…" She then slowly held her hand out to him,

"Then, let me help you." Poe looked at her outstretched claw, and reached forward warily, slowly placing his slightly smaller claws onto her's. Xyth smiled at him, before taking his other hand into her free one. Soon Xyth was making her way back through the slums, actually carrying Poe. Not that he needed to, seemed he wanted to be carried by his Mother, since it had never happened to him before in his life. Poe sighed, he felt rather silly of course, he was almost an adult - but he'd never been close, physically or otherwise, to anyone before, unless you count brawls. His eyelids sagged, and he started to nod off, leaning his head on Xyth's shoulder. After some conversation at the gate, Xyth was able to let Poe through.

As soon as they had walked down a small alley way from the Slums to the real Irken city the whole area was jammed packed with Irkens. Short Maids and Butlers or assistances, even robots running about doing errands for their Masters. Voot Cruisers flew over head. Quite noisy, but Xyth kept one hand over the back of Poe's antennae gently to somewhat help drown out the loud noises. 'Course he was scared, startled by all the noises and such, not to mention the fact he'd never even seen this part of the city, and was getting more than a few stares. He managed to not squirm away, though, despite every instinct he had telling him to break away and run.

"It'll be all right Poe." Xyth said quietly into his antennae, feeling his grip on her tighten somewhat. "We'll be out of here soon enough…" she returned some of the glances the two got, but seeing as how she was pretty much towering over most of the Irkens there, they let her be. Poe squeezed his eyes shut and tried to relax, her voice being unusually soothing. It was sort of like a female version of his own voice, actually. The two left the Markets soon enough, entering the upper-crust part of the city.

"We'll be taking a transporter up to the Massive… hopefully I can meet with them." she said as they entered a rather tall purple-ish red building. Inside the main lobby was row upon row of transporter devices, she had to show the guard a special card which allowed herself to enter the Massive, what with a Reject and all. But, after the beaming was done, the two stepped out into another lobby, this one in the Massive. Poe was in awe of all the cleanliness and technology, feeling rather out of place. He was left in a daze by the transportation process, then looked around the ship, seeing an open window along the side of the curved room; that looked out into space and a nearby planet. His eyes widened and he couldn't help but cling to Xyth this time. She smiled slightly and stroked his antennae to calm him down, as she made her way down the long corridor.

"I know Poe, it is breath taking when you see it for the first time." He took a deep breath, counting under his breath in order to control himself and stuffing his face in her shoulder, not caring about his age right now. Soon enough, they were at a pair of big, impressive doors with guards posted outside; these could only lead into one room. Xyth gently placed Poe onto the ground besides him. "Now Poe, you're about to meet the rulers of our planet." she stood up and fixed her antennae's before looking at the guards. "If you please." one guard eyed her over, before rolling his eyes and the two slowly began opening the large doors. Poe regained his footing and looked up at her, then at the door with slight fear, taking a deep breath. There they were, the leaders of one of the universe's most fearsome military force - lounging on lawn chairs and drinking some manner of sugary goop.

"Oh come ON Grisple! You can't leave Saundra for that short as Zlorph!" Purple wailed, throwing a crumpled bag of chips at the large monitor they were watching.

"I still want to watch the Doom and Destruction Channel!" Red whined, folding his arms. "You and your Space Operas, they get too out of control and it's hard to work out what's happening!"

"I knnooowww!" Purple the wailed as spacey-soapy music started playing. Red rolled his eyes, then noticed Xyth and Poe stood at the door way. He bliked, then stood up.

"Yeah…?"

"My Tallest," she bowed respectfully, lifting the sides of her gown in a sort of curtsey. Poe looked confused, and not knowing what else to do he bowed as well and mimicked her curtsey with his trench coat. "I would like to have this young Reject.. re-evaluated."

"Aw, now?" Purple asked from his place on the sofa, pointing at the monitor. "All my Spawnlings is on in five minutes!" Red grabbed the remote and turned the monitor off. "Awww!"

"Right right." Red hovered his way over to the two, just like, over a centimetre taller then Xyth. "So Xyth, another one of the Rejects you found?" he asked.

"Well, yes, but this one is.. special to me." She reached over and set her hand behind Poe's head, while Poe just stared up at them all blankly, "He's my son."

"Ah I see, the one who started your whole little save the Reject thing." Red looked down at Poe, narrowing an eye at him.

"Well!" Purple rose from his seat, "We'll have to deal with him very special-like then." he made his way over to the three.

"Well, I don't want to be biased but…yes, I was hoping…" She held her antennae back slightly, not quite liking their tone, but they were the Tallest after all. Poe shrank back from their scrutinizing looks, but he resisted the urge to hide behind his mother.

"Well we'll need a moment alone with him to see what we can do then." Red claimed, standing to his full height.

"After all, we can't give just any Reject any job."

"Oh, no; all I ask is a normal, decent life for him." Xyth set her hand on Poe's shoulder, and turned to lead him out of the room, "We'll leave you alone, then."

"Right!" a second later the doors slammed shut behind them. The Tallest glanced at each other.

"...did you see what was on his antennae or what??" Purpled asked,

"Hyeah it was like he'd fell into a ring room or something." Red replied, hovering across the room.

"Now... do we really want someone who looks like that around?" Purple paused to think.

"No not really."

"I've GOT it!" Red lifted a finger dramatically.

"What what? Tell meeee!!" Purple whined childishly. Red draped an arm around his co-rulers shoulders.

"Well, it seems to me he looks very dangerous. If he has that 'Bite' thing going around, and it goes off, do we want him around?"

"No, now get to your ideeeaa! Idea!" Purple whined more childishly.

"Send him to Zim!" Red declared, opening his arms out wide as he declared his wonderful Tallest idea. Purple blinked.

"Gasp! But, he might destroy him!" there was a moments pause, and the room erupted into fits of hysterical Tallest laughter. Poe just stared up at Xyth while they waited in silence, and she shrugged helplessly. Soon enough, the doors started to open again, both mother and smeet peering into the chamber with an almost identical hopeful look,

"Have you decided on something, my Tallest…?" She asked.

"Yes, yes we have decided." the two Tallest were over their laughing fit, though Purple was still sniggering now and then.

"We have a grand idea for him! You!" Red pointed to Poe, "How would you like to have a chance to travel?"

"Not globally, galaxlly!… is that word?" Purple was met with a glare from Red.

"…travel?" He spoke for the first time since he got on the ship, "Well… I… I guess so… I don't really like Irk that-" Xyth shushed him quickly.

"U-huhhhh… well! Just go down to the station down in the hull of the Massive and pick out any Voot Cruiser you want." Red explained, not that they had planned it. Lazy schmucks. Poe's face lit up and he looked up at his Mother. Xyth smiled down at him, then at the Tallest, nodding in gratitude,

"Thank you, my Tallest…" And knowing her leaders' time was limited, she turned out of the room again, Poe following her happily this time. After a moment's pause of being alone, the Tallest exchanged glances.

"...wanna go play Piggy in the Middle with one of the Scientists?" Red asked.

"YAY!" Purple squealed.

Soon enough, Poe and Xyth arrived at the hull. Many many MANY Voot Cruisers were lined up along side each other. Xyth smiled warmly as she looked around, then stopped short. There, not so far away from them stood a General Irken. He was tall, around her height. Black thick antennae jutted out from his head, his black eyes reading over a form which probably explained a new mission. He looked very intimidating, most Invaders getting out of the way for the General as he stalked through the room. Poe was no less intimidated, looking over at Xyth,

"Who… who's that, Nobl-- I mean, um, Mom?" The General flicked his antennae back, picking out Poe's voice in the hangar; it was oddly familiar, after all. He slowly turned, and saw Xyth across the room, as she clearly stood out over all of the Invaders,

"Xyth." He said simply, probably the closest thing to a greeting anyone ever got from him.

"Kantos." she replied in the same manner, then looked down at Poe, before kneeling down to talk with him. "Poe, this is General Kantos. He… he's your Father." Xyth hesitated before saying who he was, due to the fact that it was because of him that Poe had become a Reject in the first place. You see, when Nobles or other such high ranking Irkens would reproduce, they had the choice of raising their own smeets. But only if both parents agreed. After Poe's birth, Kantos had refused to have a Reject for a son, so Poe had been sent off to live in the slums all those years back.

"Hm." Kantos looked down at Poe from over the top of his hi-tech clip board, and Poe blinked in amazement, but the fact he was related to this imposing Irken made him no less at-ease around him. Kantos glanced back at Xyth, "I suppose you've come to give him a new life outside the slums."

"The Tallest have already allowed him to take a Voot Cruiser and travel. He'd be like an aid, looking for new planets." Xyth replied, standing back up again to talk to her previous mate face to face. She wasn't one to be spoken down to, even if they were the same height.

"Hm. It's more productive than living in filth." Maybe that was approval or simple commentary, it was hard to tell with Kantos's constant indifferent tone. Poe had managed to tear himself away from staring at the dark Irken and was peering into the window of a Voot cruiser, afraid to touch it, but looking quite interested; he didn't notice the 'sleeping', folded-up SIR unit in the back. Xyth nodded at Kantos's comment,

"Well I'd hate to keep you waiting, you seem to be needed once again." she gestured to the clip board he held in his hand. Kantos had met Xyth back when he had been doing some usual work in the Northern part of Irk, but he had only been there on a short holiday. Hence how he could have been there to, ehm, conceive Poe and also when he hatched. Kantos glanced back down at his clipboard,

"Yes, I do." He gave her a curt, short nod and walked on by, his black robe trailing behind him. Poe relaxed when the male had left,

"He's my dad?" He shook his head in disbelief, resting his claws on the Voot Cruiser's window. Upon doing this it opened up - some security huh?

"Yes." she nodded in response, then sighed slightly. "He's always busy, and we rarely see each other at all." the Noble shook her head, as if clearing it to find a new topic. She then went to the Voot Cruiser, glancing into it. "You like this one, then?"

"Yeah.. it.." He sought for something intelligent to say, "It looks nice." He frowned a bit at his ignorance, leaning in and poking at the driver's seat. "But.. um.. how would I pilot it?"

"It's easy hon." Xyth reached in and pointed the control panel. "There's Auto-Pilot, luckily so you won't have to worry. It's smart enough to avoid crashes, or meteors and such."

"Oh." He looked down at the seat, then back over at his Mom, "I guess.. this means I have to go now, huh?"

"You better dear, before you get too attached and loose your chance to have a new life." she replied somewhat sadly, but smiled either way. "At least you won't be back in the slums."

"I know, but…" He folded his antennae back and looked around, before walking up to Xyth and hugging her, well, her legs technically, "…thanks, Mom."

"You're very welcome, Poe." she smiled down at him, resting her hands on the back of his head. "I hope you enjoy yourself."

"I'll try." He smiled back up at her, probably the first actual smile she saw on him, and reluctantly pulled away. "Maybe.. I'll see you again someday?" Of course, the chances of that were neigh impossible, but he was, in a way, naive about these things. Xyth smiled gently,

"Oh, I hope so dear. Now go on, before the Tallest change their minds." she knew that very well the rulers so easily changed their mind in nano-seconds. Poe nodded, taking a deep breath and sliding into the Cruiser, settling down into the pilot's seat. This seemed to trigger the window-bubble to snap closed, causing him to jump, a seat belt snapping out of nowhere and restraining him across his chest. He looked somewhat panicked, but nothing else happened; he glanced over the control panel, one of the buttons proclaiming 'START' in Irken.

He squinted; his reading skills weren't the best, after all, and he pressed it hesitantly. The engines suddenly fired, the Cruiser slowly hovering up off the ground. He looked over at Xyth, waving slowly, before he was suddenly yanked away as the thrusters kicked in, the Cruiser blasting off towards the port that allowed entrance and exit, the metallic sphincter twisting open just long enough to allow the Cruiser to pass through. Xyth watched the Cruiser vanish out of sight, the entrance slamming shut. She sighed sadly, turned and made her way back into the Massive to return to Irk, possibly to her Office in North Irk again. After a short moment, the short Invader known as Skoodge arrived on the scene. He stopped in mid-stride, then glanced around. His Voot Cruiser, which he remembered parking in the Double C Slime section was gone! Skoodge glanced around, looking slightly worried. He furrowed his brow before crossing his arms.

"Darnit this is the third time this month!"

[To be continued]