Olivia's POV
It was weird when she first showed up. Another woman was stepping into my territory. And I instinctively put up my defense. The tension between us was palpable from the first moment we met. I had no intentions of becoming her friend and made no secret that I wasn't happy about her joining our happy little family. It's hard enough holding your ground in this field, and it's ten times harder when you're a woman but I managed. And then she sauntered in here looking all perfect in her dress shirts and pencil skirts, catching the eyes of every person in the squad room. Alex Cabot. Assistant District Attorney and infamous Ice Queen. She irked me from the first moment we met. But things soon changed as I watched her work and slowly become a part of our family, here.
I suppose the first time I really started softening up to the idea was the first time I watched Alex Cabot in the courtroom. She was forceful, yet graceful – but she commanded attention from every head sitting in that room. She was sophisticated. She demanded respect. She had control of the entire room. She was so sure of herself and everything she was saying. The passion that haunted each word of her carefully structured sentences sent chills up my spine. As I sat there and watched her address the jury about the case, I remember thinking to myself that maybe I could be just a little easier on the new ADA.
Our early encounters, looking back on them now although they weren't all that long ago, were more like subtle battles for control. Battles in which each of us refused to step down, and neither accepted defeat. It didn't take long for her to start giving in to calling in a favor for me or bending over backwards just a little further on a case. I took it as her silent way of telling me she gets it. Whatever it is, anyway. I never was sure. But I soon had her as good as wrapped around my finger and I could tell that whenever I asked her for a favor and she stared at me just a little too long with those chilling blue eyes that she was saying 'I'm doing this for you.'
The more I watched her work, the more she gained my respect. That's a big thing with me. The next came trust, and I trusted her as much as you could trust an ADA. Somewhere along the lines, I'm not sure where, we became friends. I remember the first time I saw her smile, something that I was unsure she was capable of. It was the first time we went out as a group for drinks after a particularly grueling day. It was the first time that I saw her as a person. I couldn't really be positive about that until I actually saw her experience something that resembled human emotion. For the longest time I thought she was just a crime-fighting cyborg. But she proved me wrong. In a lot of ways. And somewhere along the line she escalated from annoyance to acquaintance to one of the gang to friend to... what had Elliot called it? My work wife.
Ever since we started allowing our relationship to reach outside the lines of our work, things have been different. Not with Alex, but with Elliot. I catch him staring at me with a stupid grin on his face from time to time, and that doesn't even begin half of it. The jokes with sexual subtext have been flying from his mouth like a half-bit comedian each time there's a lull in the work day and Alex has shown up to shoot the breeze and enjoy the quiet before the storm of another case. Every time I find myself in that familiar situation – Alex leaning up against my desk, me in my chair, I see him staring at us out of the corner of my eye. I try to bring it up to him sometimes, but he just shakes his head and smiles. Even Fin and Munch have gotten sucked into whatever world he's in now. I'm beginning to feel like there's some sort of inside joke going around the squad room. And it's starting to seem like I'm at the end of it.
Alex's POV
For all of my life I've reveled in the feeling of control. No matter what situation was thrown at me, I would grab it with two hands and take complete reign over it all. When I was assigned to SVU a little over two years ago, I went in head first. No fear. They can smell that kind of thing there. I had earned and lived up to the reputation of being the impenetrable Ice Queen. I was ready for whatever was going to be thrown at me. Give me the hardest case you've got, I'll handle it. Let the guys in the squad room give me a hard time and try to get a rise out of me. They'll be walking away with their tail between their legs. Shove a beautiful brunette right in front of my face. I'll lose my mind.
They didn't teach you anything about this in law school. Nothing I learned there had prepared me for the whirlwind I was about to get pulled up into. From the first moment I laid my eyes on her, she had me. This was one I had no handle on. At first she was cold. She gave me a hard time. I stepped up to the challenge and broke those walls down. I knew it would be the courtroom that got her. I put on an extra little show just for her. I could feel her eyes on me as I paced back and forth in front of the jury, arguing my case. I could tell that she doubted me and everything that I was about. It's tough trying to work your way into such a tight-knit group. But the moment I let my passion flow on that floor, that tough cop, rough exterior show she was putting on for me was done for.
I knew that she was passionate the first time we argued about a case. The first time she asked me to make a call to tip the scales in her favor. It's a lot messier out there in the field. I know that. And at first I respected her for all her passion and dedication to her work. Now? Well, I adore her. Nothing wrenches my heart more than a broken Olivia Benson, beating herself up and holding herself personally responsible for a suffering victim or an abuser that evaded justice. I still respect her. That respect is what lead me to want to get to know her. And after a little over two years, she has finally let me in. That's all I've wanted for two years. For her to accept me. Take me as I am. And let me in. She was a tough one to crack, but there was never a doubt in my mind that I'd eventually gain her trust and the lines between work-mate and friend would blur.
If there's one thing that's wrong with Olivia Benson, it's how blind she is when it comes to her own life. To anything concerning her in general that doesn't involve crime. Her entire life has revolved around catching the bad guy and serving justice that she's relinquished all hope for a personal life. Her partner can see it. I see the way he looks at her when I come around and it makes me glad that at least one of them is paying attention to the attention that I'm giving her. It's dangerous, and something that I should be ignoring entirely. But I challenge anyone to spend as much time as I do with someone like her and not fall under her spell.
Now that we've crossed the line into friendship, I can't help but be left wanting more. She's been haunting my thoughts for so long now, it's a wonder that I haven't driven myself insane yet. I'm sure I can't be the only one to almost see the sexual tension that can rise between us at times. It's unbelievable that she hasn't caught onto it. I find it uncanny that she can act the way she does around me without even questioning that maybe she's leading me on – taking one step too far into something that she isn't willing to follow through with. But that's what I like about her. She never leaves anything unfinished. I have knowingly and willingly stepped into something that I have no control over. I have handed my heart over to the detective. And she has no idea.