I'm as ugly as fuck, every time I look at the mirror I hate myself even more, yeah, I hate myself, I should hate the person that made me like this, blew half my face off and left me to suffer , looking at this monster every fucking day! And I do, because I did this to myself, and that makes me hate myself even more, it was I who did it , it was no accident like most people like to think. I just wanted to see how much I could take, I planted explosives all around an abandoned house I discovered, not far from town, I considered the consequences, two only came up in my mind, one , being that I live through this and get out of it safe and sound, the other being , dying and turning to ashes , disappearing for eternity, if you have a brain in that head of yours, you would have already figured that none of the two happened, I ended up with the left side of my face melted.. do I regret it ? no , I regret not planting more explosives in that damned house .

And so my life changed since that bloody day, I didn't go out as much , and even when I did , I only did it during the night, since the last time I went out during the day, to buy my supply of chocolate a little girl started crying for her 'mummy' ..it was a huge change for me, since I was the popular one, with all the friends, and people wanting to be with me, I was dependent on my looks, people even considered me as a body rather than a person, no, I'm not even that anymore..I started clubbing for about three months ago, letting every stranger that I meet in any club, have his way with me, since , there was no fucking way someone in real life would even consider me, I just became a toy, every night with a different person, I was never on top, they just needed somewhere to empty their balls in, and I happened to be looking for someone, anyone..

So here I am exiting my shit hole of an apartment, I walked over to the club , I stopped taking the car not because I shouldn't be driving high and/or drunk but also because it became a burden since I usually rode off with the person who was going to fuck me. I arrive at the club I recently made my favorite, I walk toward the door and suddenly a red car almost runs me over ,passes by, and clumsily parks in an empty spot in the parking lot .

I stop to stare at the car, the window was opened, it revealed a redhead ,he was pushing something off of his lap, my curiosity got the best of me , as it never fails to, and I walked a little closer ,-I was now able to identify it as a Camero- and stood on the tip of my shoes trying to take a look at the object of the redhead's discomfort , but before I had the chance to see, the guy got out of the car, turning to look inside screaming "WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT MISA ? I TOLD YOU DON'T FUCKING TRY ANYTHING !"

The girl obviously confused, balanced herself on her elbows ,on the driver's seat " Misa-Misa was just trying to help"

The redhead opened his mouth to say something, but he was stopped by a loud sound of a car horn, I looked at the source of the annoying sound, it was a black car, that parked in the empty spot next to the Camero . As soon as the engine died a black-haired man with panda eyes and baggy clothes came out accompanied by a brunette and a young man with dark hair with an extremely happy expression, there was also a kid in pajama's getting out the front passenger's seat twirling his hair between his middle and index finger while shutting the door. I glanced at the redhead, he was looking at me now, the blond woman clinging to his arm while all too obviously looking at the brunette right behind her; that's when I realized I have been standing there watching these strangers ,I shook my head to clear my thoughts as I headed toward the door of the club, I was about to get in, but a hand grabbed my wrist, I turned around , it was the redhead, I was able to have a better look at him now, he had bloody red hair, he was wearing tight red and black striped shirt with skinny black jeans and combat boots, I looked up at his face again, oh- I had missed the ..wait are those goggles around his neck ? the dude has a weird clothing style, not that it didn't suit him..I looked at him in the eyes ,I was faced by rare shades of blue and a breath taking smile "I'm sorry about almost running you over, I wasn't paying attention, I was..distracted.." oh..I almost forgot about that..now that I remember .. I would have answered him with my colorful language and a demonstration of my fighting skills, but I was just so fucking desperate to get in and get drunk, So I just nodded ,heading to the door.

The lights were flashing , who knows how many colors, people dancing, all over each other grinding I could barely tell them apart , I hurried sitting on a bar stool .The redhead soon entered with his friends and sat at an empty table in the corner ,even though the music was blasting , I could hear what they were saying because I was sat at the very last bar stool on the edge, and , well, the stupid guy was screaming at the top of his lunges throwing an arm over the redhead's shoulder "So what does the birthday boy think?" I stared at the guy , I never liked the hyper active kind, they just piss me off! I looked at the 'birthday boy' , our eyes locked and it was fucking impossible for me to tear my eyes away from his, he smiled at me, that breathtaking smile reappearing, and I almost walked over there and dragged him to the bathroom, but who am I kidding, it's probably pity that got him doing that, that's why I get aggressive with people, they see someone with a scarred face, an ugly monster and they dare smile and pity me!

I notice the geek's friends looking at me as well so I turn again to the bartender ordering another shot. As soon as I slammed the glass on the counter, the dark haired man that was yelling stupidly was sitting on the stool beside me "hi I'm Mastsuda "he said with an overjoyed voice, I ignored him nodding to the bartender to pour me another shot "So ,you see, it's Matt's birthday, you know, the guy with the red hair, I noticed he was looking at you, so I was thinking…how about two hundred for the night?" I almost chocked on air as he said that.. what the fuck ? what am I, a prostitute? I glared at him hoping he'd get the message and go away before I give him the beating of a lifetime, but he is obviously too damn stupid because he continued " I mean he's been looking at you since we came here, so whadaya say?" he grins at me and pulls out his wallet, it takes all my self control not to pull a gun and kill him right there and then, so I just settle for punching him in the jaw several times and throwing his wallet in his face after he dropped it on the counter, "fuck off" I tell him taking another shot that the bartender somehow volunteered to give. Mastuda or whatever the fuck he said his name was, stood there as if nothing happened, he waited for a minute then went back to join his friends .I glanced at the dance floor, I was so tempted to join those people, who were dancing to the beat of the music, grinding, hot and sweaty, I stood up ready to dance, but a hand tapped me on the shoulder, I turned around and there was the redhead, I think the stupid guy called him Matt..I glare at him expecting him to step aside but he doesn't, I'm surprised he can walk, I mean I've been looking at him since we came here and he hadn't stopped drinking.

"sorry about Matsuda, he's a bit of a .." he trails off

"Mentally retarded? Unbelievably stupid, blockheaded, boneheaded, , fatheaded, loggerheaded, thickheaded, thick-skulled, wooden-headed? Take your pick" I respond and made a move to walk past him, he stops me grabbing my arm .

"I'm sorry about what he said, he told us and he still doesn't understand why you hit him" he chuckled at that releasing his grip on my arm" he's drunk and yeah, all the things you said I guess.."

"yeah yeah , just let me go dance 'birthday boy' " I said descending the two steps leading to the dance floor, I force myself not to glance at him again, as I make my way through the crowd. I move my hips to the music and lift my arms up, closing my eyes, somehow I can feel a bit free like this, I can't see people's stares, can't hear their whispers, I can almost forget how ugly I look, but I don't, how can I ? It doesn't take long before I feel hands on my hips, another body pressing against mine, I don't turn to look at the person dancing with me, I don't even open my eyes, I just go with the flow, hopping whatever is gonna happen tonight doesn't hurt as much as the previous nights, suddenly the man I'm dancing with turns me around , my eyes snap open as his lips descend to my neck biting roughly, with one look at the hair and I indentified the man as Jim, the son of the owner of the club, a sadistic bastard, I heard about his victims, raped and abused, he should be rotting in jail, but his father has connections with the police, sometimes he even pays off the victims, or simply erases them from this world. I pulled away ready to run for my life, but he grabbed my hand roughly and pulled me against his chest " where do you think you're going Melsy ? the fun had just began" he whispered groping my rear. And before I could understand what the hell was happening, Jim was on the floor holding his jaw, while I was being dragged out of the place .

To be continued , please just fucking review =) I appreciate the add to the favorites or alerts and all, but a review gives me inspiration or whatever it is the hell I have, so please..review ..oh- and this was written in English class, two hours XD